A Lady's Journey to Life: Day 302 – Self Judgment – Comparison Memory Breakdown – Money

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Day 299 – Self Judgment – Comparisons – Money Memories

“we always got on weekends and in summer like treats, ice cream, mcdonalds, and things that cost ‘money’, and so I would see myself as better and more worthy then these particular friends I hung out with, who hardly ever got these types of ‘treats’, but desired it, it’s not that they couldn’t afford it but just didn’t get it a lot, and I equated this to them having less money then us, so judged us as better cause we got treats and they didn’t.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate treats and things I desired in my childhood with money and seeing if we got this in our lives the treats, entertainment, shiny gadgets, then we were better and more worthy then those that didn’t get it such in this instance with this memory our friends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare what we had with others and determine within the material accumulation of stuff they had and I had as we are more then them or less then them and base how I will treat them and treat myself and see them and see myself base don this point of comparison asinferior = they have more accumulation or superior = we had more accumulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto this memory when around these friends and gain an energy of satisfaction as supremacy towards them where I see that we are better, had more fun, and thus had a better experiences then them, and thus see me and my family/crew as privileged or better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become egotistical in seeing within myself as more then others and treating others as less then me in my behavior towards them because I held onto this memory of what we had as more and they had less, and thus they are less well off and not so great.

Interesting here within walking out this self forgiveness to this memory, which I haven’t ever really looked at or faced, and seeing the absolute illusionary and rather infantile assumptions, assessments, and actions of separation and elitism that was playing out and still to this day I see I exist in these patterns. This due to a comparison of material possessions and judging myself according to that comparison as more or less to others, when this in no way define's who we are in reality here, as we are all equal in fact as we are all life. Fascinating what we define ourselves from and how limiting it really is with out any awareness on a real level of what we are actually doing day in and day out, we just live into it as if it is who we are, when this is a very limited and brutal form of who we are as we are seeing playout everywhere in this world as conflict and absolute suffering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself and others within the relationship I fostered with them to be about separation and illusion as ego within trying to be more then others and gain a more heightened state of importance within myself due to this judgment of others and myself in what we have, but really compromising the opportunity and potential I have here to walk in equality with others and live in ways that will bring this about in our living realities in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a judgment and comparisons based on material possessions and the accumulation of stuff, and thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize the self within all that is here and the reality of the reasons things are here not to serve the ego, but to serve and thus be honored equally within all as life in all it’s forms.

When and as I see that I am going into a point of judging another through comparison of what they have and how much stuff there is there, I stop and breath, and realize that this way of living will only create a point of self compromise as I will miss the reality of what is here and the opportunity for equality, and thus seek and live into ego and thus the separation of myself as life and live within conflict and abuse.

I commit myself to move through this memory in letting it go as a point of learning to see that comparison and judgment lead not to what is best, but compromise.

I commit myself to accept all within my environment in all forms and means, and realize we are all equal here as the flesh and thus walk the self integrity of who I am as life within this realization and living within my world.

I commit myself to walk the equal money system research and spreading of the message so we can create an equal, fair, and balance platform for all goods and services to be honored and respected within sustenance and understanding that we are all one.

I commit to let go of my ego when it arise to be more as I let go of the desire to get more, I move into living within what is here and what will support me in each moment to walk my process and become effective within what I am doing and my purpose in this world as I direct myself within and as.

I commit myself to stop all judgment and comparison of others and breath through the energy to judge as I put myself in there shoes and realize that we are equal and continue to walk this until I am it as my living expression.