Monday, January 21, 2013

Day 208 - Exploring Self Acceptance – Why don’t I like Myself?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my starting point within the way I see myself within reality as someone who is not desirable to others, someone who is not likable, someone who is really just a loser with nothing to offer anyone, and this whole self defeated depressive state of self sabotage I have been existing within is based on the belief that what my mind tells me of being these things, is true, is who I really am. I realize and understand that within my mind the thoughts that flow through that are patterned within the personality of inferiority and being less then everyone else I meet, is just a pattern and is now programmed within me because I continually feed it’s existance within participating in these thoughts and then living them into my world with not expressing myself, holding back around others I deem superior, and living in this state of depression through the physical ‘dis-ease’ I have created within me of crohns as believing thatwho I am is inferior to other people.

I commit myself to when and as I go into these points of self sabotage in this pattern of thought of inferiority, I stop and breath, and do not accept myself to go into the thoughts through physically moving myself in breath and stopping these thoughts continuously within the breathing exercise. I realize that I am life, I am equal, and thus the mind as thoughts and reactions is not who I am, I have to walk through the correctionprocess of stopping my participation and realign my living to direct myself in the understanding of self acceptance within all life as equals, so I realize and understand this will be a process of living application. I commit myself to stand gentle with myself and others, and breath through the reactions to react in blame or emotions, focusing on my physical application, bringing myself back always to physical application through breathing and understanding of the practical process that is needed to be walked by all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel and entertain thoughts within my head based on desiring only certain specific outcomes in my world and when these outcomes were not met, I would create a blame towards myself that it was my fault because I am not good enough, not smart enough, notpretty enough, not considering physical reality for what it really was and what in reality was actually happening, but in most cases brought all points of ‘falls’ or ‘failures’ in my world to blaming myself in what the mind tells me, that I am ugly, I am stupid, no one likes me, I am worthless, and living this out through torturing myself with self hate and self judgments. I realize and see I am still giving my power away to the mind which is systemized within my physical body to enslave me for it’s own survival, feeding me what I am feeding myself in my separation of self defeatism and not accepting who I am here as life, and thus being directed by these thoughts of self sabotage because I am believing they are real. I realize thoughts are not real they are generated within conflictial reaction from the mind system and the physical substance, managed and specified within it’s frequency level to create a feeling or an emotion that is attached with the words in my mind, all created from the substance of the physical through energy reactions, and systematized within the mind system to generate this ‘belief’ I have accepted that I am inferior, useless, and ugly.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of self sabotage and belief of believing the thoughts are who I am and living into the emotions and feelings being generated by the mind system according to the thought pattern I am energizing, I stop and breath, and do not participate in the thoughts, feelings/emotions, or beliefs, and walk the physical process it will take to stop them from directing me, becoming physical, breathing, and stopping the participation each time it comes up in my awareness. Get some air, focus on my words, and stop my attention from going to the thoughts and move it into the communication I am participating in.

I commit myself to let go of the energy of depression when I have these thoughts through breathing and moving myself physically until the energy has moved through me, and I have stopped it from directing me.

I commit myself to push myself to accept all here as life by living this in my physical world and reality, stopping judgments in my mind, and live from this physical world as I realize when I am in my mind I am feeding it and participating in it, when I am physically moving and being active, I am in my body, directing myself, and so I focus on what is practical, what is real, what is physical as life in equality here.

Recommended Interviews for further Support on Self Acceptance:

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