Day 185 - 'Your Sucha Brat!' Dealing with Irritation

Looking at the point of irritation within myself, and how easily I go into this point with others based onaccepting the energy that rush through me when something triggers this irritation within a point in my day. Usually it is based on something that I feel has disrupted my time or I took personally, I find when something repeats itself, like a kid keeps coming and coming and won’t leave me alone, instead of finding a solution for the child to go and find something productive and practical to do, I go into irritation which results in anger and then lashing out towards the person/thing/animal that triggered it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anger towards s based on becoming irritated that she wouldn’t leave my room when I was working, and thus got more irritated as I allowed it to accumulate when she came back after I told her that I could not play, and she acted as if that did not matter at all. I realize that within this point of accepting the irritation and then fueling it through allowing it to accumulate in me is creating energy rush of annoyance towards s when she wouldn't leave and so I realize in this accumulation of irritation I will create anger based on in my starting point of fueling the mind as self interest instead of being here in the physical considering her and finding solutions within the physical as breath.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of becoming irritated towards any point in my world, I stop and breath, and do not allow it to accumulate as I realize that it will only cause more consequence, I stop and move myself to a different location until I have become stable within breathing and not reacting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of taking it personally when s does things that completely is not considering me or others in her world, and within this accept myself to get fueled by anger and irritation as I see this as a personal fu to me which I become resistant as I see it as an attack. I realize that within this, one, she is a child and thus using what she knows in terms of what she has learned to cope with what she is dealing with within her own mind of desires, fears, and different energies that is directing her and thus acting these energies out, two, she is not doing this within a personal attack but to get some point of self interest fulfilled due to the addiction we have created in our world, ourselves, and ourchildren to getting our desires filled, and three, she has no point of reference for a solution to this energyunless someone shows her as she is completely linked to the system and is living it, thus I realize I have to walk with her in solutions of common sense within the practical application of self honest, self forgiveness, self correction, and physical application of correction in her living, thus walk as an example for her so she can see another way that has solutions to these energies and that can practically be applied within her own self living.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of taking what s does to me personally as a personal fu, I stop and breath, and remain here within the physical by moving my body or walking around, do notcommunicate until the energy within me has dissipated and I am not in reaction, directing her into a point of stability for both of us, so the least resistance is met, and remaining stable with her so she can realize that there is points of stability within her life to look at and learn from that will be best for all. So push myself to remain here and stable, and support s in the best way I can in physical practical solutions, realizing that she is going through the exact same points I am with no sort of understanding or direction, and thus I commit myself to walk my process to correction as physical living in equality and oneness to be an example for others as I have been given.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self interest and attack as the ego in where I take what s did to me personally and see it as a personal attack on myself, where in within myself I will go into a defense mode as fearing I will lose my stability and standing in the group, and thus lash out on s in anger to show her that I am stronger then her and she is not going to be able to push me around. I realize that within this point of allowing anger as energy and ego to direct me, I will only cause more consequence within her and myself and create more of a separation between the physical and the mind as by accepting the anger into consequence by causing abuse in words and my actions of movement.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of reacting in anger, I stop and breath, and become focused on my breathing and the equality and oneness between life as myself, to remind myself that this point of attack is not real, it’s the ego at work, and thus I breath and do not allow my ego to direct me. Waking solutions with s in patience’s and stability to show her an example that she can always look to for support and never be in fear or in defense because I am here and stable to handle and direct all points within practical common sense solutions, I stop my self interest to win, and push to remain one and equal with all in my physical environment until I am here and can support unconditionally life as myself.


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