Today I found myself go into suppression when I was told how to do something different then what I was about to do, in a way where I took it personally, and saw the other person trying to tell me how to do things. I went into my back chat initially and saw how I was telling her to shut the hell up. I realized this and saw how I was going straight into anger and trying to demonize her do to not being in breath but wanting always to be seen and spoken softly to.
I found this point is a fear I am going into based on like a shock sensation that goes through my body when I am yelled at or told on what to do in a forceful way, and based on the feeling I get when 'yelled' at, I go into a defense mood and go into the backchat and create a wall to build myself up on and diminish her and see her as the problem, she's just trying to give me a hard time type of justifications.
I fear the yelling based on my childhood, where I would be yelled at and scolded and go into self judgment where I would see myself as bad and that I had something wrong with me to make me get yelled at. The noise volume of the yelling was too load and it scared me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into fear and anxiety when another being raises their voice at me and go into a defense mechanism to take them down and make them feel how I felt. I realize and see that within the point of being yelled at, I must stop reacting to the noise the voice and going into fear. Realize it is only a loud noise and thus I will be fine, I take what is said within consideration of myself and adjust myself to align with what is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take a loud noise directed at me personally and go into the the desire to seek revenge and bring them down so I can regain control of the situation within myself because I fear being out of control within myself and have others have control over me by telling me who and what I should or shouldn't do. I realize and see that these beings are not doing it to hurt me or based on personal vendettas but are doing because of how they are experiencing themselves and thus I decide how I am going to walk the point out. Here I must walk the point out in common sense and realize nothing is going to happen to me by getting yelled at, I am still here and thus direct myself to find the solution and walk it in what is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to fear load noises based on holding onto memories of being yelled at and going into shock based on the noise volume that was directed towards me. I realize and see that noise is noise and thus has in no way any effect on who I am thus I will myself to walk through the shock of it, breath and let go of any desire to go into reaction and stop the backchat.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into backchat and diminish another based on my own reactions of fear and shock when I was 'yelled' at and thus based on the reaction of fear and shock I desired to take this anger out on the noise that triggered it. I am the one that created the reaction of fear thus I realize I must always look back at myself and see why I am reacting and behaving in an abusive way and walk the process to stop. I realize I have to stop the reacting and stop the fear and live here with others and direct myself to walk through points with common sense and let go of the fear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the other and desire to be right and know it all and diminish her just based on her yelling at me and making me have this feeling of shock as how I reacted. I realize and see that I must stop the reaction of shock and then blame and stand here equal with all no matter what the circumstance is and walk the point into correction in self honesty.
I commit myself to stop going into back chat towards others and desire to diminish them by stopping my reactions and walking the common sense correction in directing myself.
I commit to stop fearing others and what they will do to me, and stopping the reactions and all the thoughts of separations and live here in equality and walk solutions that will support all.
I commit to stop reactions towards others and walk the point through in common sense and equality, breath, and push to walk self honestly always.
being yelled at, being shocked, parents discipline, scolding kids, equality, equal money, eqafe, desteni, journey to life, 2012,
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
Day 59 - Valuing Money Equal to Life
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to value money over life. I realize and see that money within what it is, is paper, and thus is equal in value of all that is here and thus hold a purpose to express within equal consideration to what is here as an equal partner to create a world best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to make money my life as I use it and desire it for keep going with my very existence seeing that I need this above all else to be able to continue to live and be here in this world. I realize and see that this desire and need to survive is not what is best for all and cause much hardship and pain to many, I realize and see that a system of money movement can be put in place where money is equal in value to life and thus will be a support to walk what is best for all as it will be equal and one with the beings living among it not have more power and consideration then life itself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to have money in place at all times so I am satisfied and in no stress for money and thus live and accept this money system as is where I am using it for my own self interest to stay comfortable instead of using it at all times to support a way and a will to walk the process into creating a world that is best for all. I realize and see that to create a new system where all life is supported I will need to give up everything to see this through as a want or desire is separation and thus will only create a money system of want and desire and cause divide and dominance.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give money more value then life itself where I allow and accept a system that consume to death many living beings without a consideration or a blink of an eye of the life that is being destroyed in the taking of the product that is being ready to to be sold for profit. I realize and see to stop this atrocity to life, money and the money system needs to be spread equal among all and available to all where it do not define who live or die, but is used as a medium to facilitate a new world that is best for all and support the best way of living for all in all ways possible.
I commit myself to help facilitate this new equal money system set in place by changing myself to be a being that live by these principles of equality and oneness to all life and thus bring about the solution that will end the strife to live and an end to suffering, and create a world that is best for all by creating this within and as myself only walking what is best for life equal and one to myself.
I commit to walk myself in writing in self investigation, self forgiveness, and self honesty to facilitate the change that is necessary to bring about this self change to stand equal to others and direct myself within equality in all ways, letting go of wants, desires, and the need to survive through money.
I commit myself to bring about a world best for all by walking step by step the implementation of the equal money system by sharing my realizations, understandings, and educating all who will hear to share the understanding that equality with and through all life is the only way to true peace and prosperity for all life that live as lived is to be valued and honored equal to and one with how I would want this done for myself.
money troubles, equal money system, equal life foundation, equal life, economic system, debt, survival, fear, war, death, starvation, solutions, desteni, 2012, journey to life
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to make money my life as I use it and desire it for keep going with my very existence seeing that I need this above all else to be able to continue to live and be here in this world. I realize and see that this desire and need to survive is not what is best for all and cause much hardship and pain to many, I realize and see that a system of money movement can be put in place where money is equal in value to life and thus will be a support to walk what is best for all as it will be equal and one with the beings living among it not have more power and consideration then life itself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to have money in place at all times so I am satisfied and in no stress for money and thus live and accept this money system as is where I am using it for my own self interest to stay comfortable instead of using it at all times to support a way and a will to walk the process into creating a world that is best for all. I realize and see that to create a new system where all life is supported I will need to give up everything to see this through as a want or desire is separation and thus will only create a money system of want and desire and cause divide and dominance.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give money more value then life itself where I allow and accept a system that consume to death many living beings without a consideration or a blink of an eye of the life that is being destroyed in the taking of the product that is being ready to to be sold for profit. I realize and see to stop this atrocity to life, money and the money system needs to be spread equal among all and available to all where it do not define who live or die, but is used as a medium to facilitate a new world that is best for all and support the best way of living for all in all ways possible.
I commit myself to help facilitate this new equal money system set in place by changing myself to be a being that live by these principles of equality and oneness to all life and thus bring about the solution that will end the strife to live and an end to suffering, and create a world that is best for all by creating this within and as myself only walking what is best for life equal and one to myself.
I commit to walk myself in writing in self investigation, self forgiveness, and self honesty to facilitate the change that is necessary to bring about this self change to stand equal to others and direct myself within equality in all ways, letting go of wants, desires, and the need to survive through money.
I commit myself to bring about a world best for all by walking step by step the implementation of the equal money system by sharing my realizations, understandings, and educating all who will hear to share the understanding that equality with and through all life is the only way to true peace and prosperity for all life that live as lived is to be valued and honored equal to and one with how I would want this done for myself.
money troubles, equal money system, equal life foundation, equal life, economic system, debt, survival, fear, war, death, starvation, solutions, desteni, 2012, journey to life
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Day 58- Do you Desire to be a Dominant/Submissive?
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to walk into the point of submission due to the perception I hold of life being within a polarity divide as better/worse. I realize and see that life is not based on my point of view or on perception but on physical reality within the context of all that is here equal and one to myself. Life is not based on a divide or a separation thus life is equal in fact as the life/source/substance that creates all that exist is this in fact one and equal with all that is physically here, we as life are all here in this physical reality and that's all there is, the physical, anything more or less is created by the mind and thus is not real, is not physical, thus the mind is created from what is not real which is the illusion of this world and can not be trusted.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to perceive myself as weak when I was a child because I compared myself to other children and had a desire within me to be perfect and thus within this desire I as a child defined this perfection through looks, thus compared myself within looks of other children and based on my comparison of not seeing myself acceptable enough and equal in looks to other kids, I defined myself as less then others, as weaker. I realize and see that within this holding onto a sense of perfection within the way one look I have been programmed through media, tv shows, and movies as a child to believe that this is what define life, define beings, and thus accepted this as myself and designed myself based on this assessment and conclusion. Within this assessment and conclusion that I made as a child that life is being based and defined by looks, I realize I made a faulty assessment as I didn't realize nor see and understand the equality of what life is as all that exist here is not based on the look or picture of the physical, but the physical itself and thus within this we are all equal as all here is physical in fact. I see and understand that what creates desire and this idea that others are more then is the mind as illusions of thoughts, ideas, pictures, and beliefs that are held onto as real but have been made up within myself and repeated in living and thus eventually became real for me and so I have accepted this definition of looks defining life as real and thus lived into this acceptance as less then others due to my belief that I am not as pretty and lived the opposite as dominant when I saw myself as more pretty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within and as the desire to be more then another being and thus play into the polarity game that ensues where one being will be more while the other be less and create all relationships from this starting point, cycling back and forth from submissive to dominate chasing the positive as winning, being the prettiest, and equally always creating the negative of losing/being less then the prettiest. Here I realize and see that this desire to be more is what needs to be stopped as it is not the truth of life and thus is not the truth of who I am thus I see and realize I have missed this point through feeding my desire to have a positive experience not realizing that I was equally creating the negative experience as submissive, thus I stop the desire to be more, and walk the correction into equality with all life, and stop the judgment and comparison and stand one and equal within my living within and as my word.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to gain a sense of power when I have lived and accepted myself to become the dominate play out of this desire to be more when I find I have defined myself as more then another as a picture and thus changed my behavior, my words, and my living to a confidence and overpower of the other I see as submissive and accept the submission of the other if allowed as I gain a high of energy as power when I am given the authority of the other due to this belief that I am better and thus I can see the other as weaker based on the way our pictures look and this live it out as if it is true. I realize and understand the separation and abuse that has been created within accepting and allowing this idea that looks define life and that I change myself to live into this play-out of more if/when I perceive myself to be more. I must stop this addiction to power and dominance over another based on the energy that is given as a high of positive feelings as i am being submitted too.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to equally accept the submissive role when I have come upon life that I have perceived and defined myself as less attractive then, and thus live out the submission to them within the behaviors of allowing them to dominate me, where I stifle myself and suppress myself due to fear of them and seeing them as more then me not realizing and seeing that I am giving my own power away by accepting myself and living out this belief that I am less then them due to a picture and the way our bodies look. I realize and understand that walking and allowing others to dominate me in living out this point of seeing myself less then due to the judgment of the way I look in comparison to the other is creating the suppression and constriction I am existing as as I have created this within myself by defining myself by the mind, by pictures, and in separation due to the perception of my idea and desire to be more and thus living the polarity play-out out as seeing myself as less. I realize and understand when I allow this to occur I will continually give my power away and lose my self ability to walk within self empowerment as it's not here as self but I am defining it by others thus giving my power to others due to my self judgment based on look/pitcures/ideas. I must stop the comparison, stop the judgments on looks, and stop the mind from seeing life in separation I am not separate from what is here as I am here and all are here in this physical world as we are all physical life.
I commit to stopping myself within walking into self compromise by defining myself and others within the mind as ideas, beliefs, perceptions within polarities of better/worse. I commit to walk here as physical life, physical body, and common sense physical living one and equal with all the life that is here with me.
I commit to stop giving my power away to others by judging myself and comparing myself to others, and walk within and as breath and live equal and practice this until I am here as equal life with all.
I commit to stop the desire to be more then other life and walk the physical process to live with and as all as equal through my internal world by stopping my mind from directing me in separations and my outer world by changing this world system so all live in equality and are supported in this way as well. This through writing, self investigation, self forgiveness for purification of myself, and self change to live this in my day to day until it's here as me.
submissive, dominant, fifty shades of grey, authority figures, desire to be more, pretty picture, ugly, equality, equal life, equal money, desteni, 2012, journey to life, sex, sexy
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to perceive myself as weak when I was a child because I compared myself to other children and had a desire within me to be perfect and thus within this desire I as a child defined this perfection through looks, thus compared myself within looks of other children and based on my comparison of not seeing myself acceptable enough and equal in looks to other kids, I defined myself as less then others, as weaker. I realize and see that within this holding onto a sense of perfection within the way one look I have been programmed through media, tv shows, and movies as a child to believe that this is what define life, define beings, and thus accepted this as myself and designed myself based on this assessment and conclusion. Within this assessment and conclusion that I made as a child that life is being based and defined by looks, I realize I made a faulty assessment as I didn't realize nor see and understand the equality of what life is as all that exist here is not based on the look or picture of the physical, but the physical itself and thus within this we are all equal as all here is physical in fact. I see and understand that what creates desire and this idea that others are more then is the mind as illusions of thoughts, ideas, pictures, and beliefs that are held onto as real but have been made up within myself and repeated in living and thus eventually became real for me and so I have accepted this definition of looks defining life as real and thus lived into this acceptance as less then others due to my belief that I am not as pretty and lived the opposite as dominant when I saw myself as more pretty.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within and as the desire to be more then another being and thus play into the polarity game that ensues where one being will be more while the other be less and create all relationships from this starting point, cycling back and forth from submissive to dominate chasing the positive as winning, being the prettiest, and equally always creating the negative of losing/being less then the prettiest. Here I realize and see that this desire to be more is what needs to be stopped as it is not the truth of life and thus is not the truth of who I am thus I see and realize I have missed this point through feeding my desire to have a positive experience not realizing that I was equally creating the negative experience as submissive, thus I stop the desire to be more, and walk the correction into equality with all life, and stop the judgment and comparison and stand one and equal within my living within and as my word.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to gain a sense of power when I have lived and accepted myself to become the dominate play out of this desire to be more when I find I have defined myself as more then another as a picture and thus changed my behavior, my words, and my living to a confidence and overpower of the other I see as submissive and accept the submission of the other if allowed as I gain a high of energy as power when I am given the authority of the other due to this belief that I am better and thus I can see the other as weaker based on the way our pictures look and this live it out as if it is true. I realize and understand the separation and abuse that has been created within accepting and allowing this idea that looks define life and that I change myself to live into this play-out of more if/when I perceive myself to be more. I must stop this addiction to power and dominance over another based on the energy that is given as a high of positive feelings as i am being submitted too.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to equally accept the submissive role when I have come upon life that I have perceived and defined myself as less attractive then, and thus live out the submission to them within the behaviors of allowing them to dominate me, where I stifle myself and suppress myself due to fear of them and seeing them as more then me not realizing and seeing that I am giving my own power away by accepting myself and living out this belief that I am less then them due to a picture and the way our bodies look. I realize and understand that walking and allowing others to dominate me in living out this point of seeing myself less then due to the judgment of the way I look in comparison to the other is creating the suppression and constriction I am existing as as I have created this within myself by defining myself by the mind, by pictures, and in separation due to the perception of my idea and desire to be more and thus living the polarity play-out out as seeing myself as less. I realize and understand when I allow this to occur I will continually give my power away and lose my self ability to walk within self empowerment as it's not here as self but I am defining it by others thus giving my power to others due to my self judgment based on look/pitcures/ideas. I must stop the comparison, stop the judgments on looks, and stop the mind from seeing life in separation I am not separate from what is here as I am here and all are here in this physical world as we are all physical life.
I commit to stopping myself within walking into self compromise by defining myself and others within the mind as ideas, beliefs, perceptions within polarities of better/worse. I commit to walk here as physical life, physical body, and common sense physical living one and equal with all the life that is here with me.
I commit to stop giving my power away to others by judging myself and comparing myself to others, and walk within and as breath and live equal and practice this until I am here as equal life with all.
I commit to stop the desire to be more then other life and walk the physical process to live with and as all as equal through my internal world by stopping my mind from directing me in separations and my outer world by changing this world system so all live in equality and are supported in this way as well. This through writing, self investigation, self forgiveness for purification of myself, and self change to live this in my day to day until it's here as me.
submissive, dominant, fifty shades of grey, authority figures, desire to be more, pretty picture, ugly, equality, equal life, equal money, desteni, 2012, journey to life, sex, sexy
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Day 57- Resisting Life
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist walking with and as my physical breath here in each moment. I realize and see that this resistance is showing me who I am accepting myself to be as an automated robot not able to breath with and as the physical but depend on the physical for life. I realize I must stop this resistance and walk with my breath in each moment to stop this zombification of myself and dependence on others for the life that I am. I am life thus I must breath one and equal as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist walking as breath in each moment in what that entails in having to become aware of each and all actions that I create and exist as and thus realize that I must become responsible for everything I am doing and being, and so I realize and see that this is showing me that I am actually desiring to be in this point of ignorance is bliss and chase the mind experience of good feelings instead of what has to be done here in this physical reality as solutions to create a world best for all. Thus I realize that I must stop my desire to become an experience of good feelings and thus equally stop the going into the conflict and friction with others to create the polarity game of energy creating the bad/friction/conflict to experience the good/bliss/relationship later, and thus live in this physical reality with and as my physical breath in the walk to support all life as myself in the action of giving to myself my all as the physical action I walk as I would want done for me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist taking responsibility for my actions and becoming the director of who I am based on the fear of failure and that I will not make it. I realize and see that fear of failure is no reason to not walk the process that has to be walked within and as taking responsibility for who I am as I realize each breath that I resist another is suffering and thus I am suffering here. I see suffering and causing life to suffer makes no sense to who and what I am as life living so thus I stop fear and walk with and as the physical in growth and expansion until all that remain is breath as me as this physical existence in equality and oneness.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to sabotage myself before I start something due to the thought that 'I won't make it' when I realize and see that the only being hindering me is myself and I am the only one living into the judgments I hold as myself as a failure due to holding onto the past and how I define myself in comparison with others. I realize and see to stop the sabotage of myself I must stop comparing and judging myself and live here with and as the physical reality as all life here is physical reality, anything more is mind and thus made up equaling not real but my own illusion. I realize and see that I have to stop separating myself into the mind dimension by stopping the separation into polarities and comparisons and see me and walk me here within and as this physical reality as and within my physical body using the breath as my stability point until I am stable within and as the physical as myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist myself walking this process due to fear. I realize and see that fear is not real and thus all that is here is me and who I decide to be in each moment. I am the definer of myself and I make the decision of what direction I will walk. I walk as life to equality with all into and as a world that is best for all there is no other choice but this as I realize who I am one and equal with life as this physical world and existence.
I commit to stopping the resistance to breath and push myself in each breath to be aware of my physical and walk the process of purification through self forgiveness to empty myself within separations and thus become here as the physical as who I really am in oneness and equality with all life.
I commit to walk self forgiveness through self writing and self investigation so I walk through my mind and change myself from a being living from experience to living as life equal and one with all that is here.
I commit to walk responsibility within self by become aware of who I am as each breath, pushing through the resistance to not move, and use the tools to become the living word and do to others as I would for myself.
I commit to change myself in each moment to stopping the judgment and comparison of life and walking and living the realization that all this is here is me, I exist here and that is life.
life, resistance to living, i hate my life, i hate work, i don't want to do it, do i have to?, why do we have to put in so much effort to live?, why do life suffer, equality, equal money, equal life, journey to life, desteni, 2012.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist walking as breath in each moment in what that entails in having to become aware of each and all actions that I create and exist as and thus realize that I must become responsible for everything I am doing and being, and so I realize and see that this is showing me that I am actually desiring to be in this point of ignorance is bliss and chase the mind experience of good feelings instead of what has to be done here in this physical reality as solutions to create a world best for all. Thus I realize that I must stop my desire to become an experience of good feelings and thus equally stop the going into the conflict and friction with others to create the polarity game of energy creating the bad/friction/conflict to experience the good/bliss/relationship later, and thus live in this physical reality with and as my physical breath in the walk to support all life as myself in the action of giving to myself my all as the physical action I walk as I would want done for me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist taking responsibility for my actions and becoming the director of who I am based on the fear of failure and that I will not make it. I realize and see that fear of failure is no reason to not walk the process that has to be walked within and as taking responsibility for who I am as I realize each breath that I resist another is suffering and thus I am suffering here. I see suffering and causing life to suffer makes no sense to who and what I am as life living so thus I stop fear and walk with and as the physical in growth and expansion until all that remain is breath as me as this physical existence in equality and oneness.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to sabotage myself before I start something due to the thought that 'I won't make it' when I realize and see that the only being hindering me is myself and I am the only one living into the judgments I hold as myself as a failure due to holding onto the past and how I define myself in comparison with others. I realize and see to stop the sabotage of myself I must stop comparing and judging myself and live here with and as the physical reality as all life here is physical reality, anything more is mind and thus made up equaling not real but my own illusion. I realize and see that I have to stop separating myself into the mind dimension by stopping the separation into polarities and comparisons and see me and walk me here within and as this physical reality as and within my physical body using the breath as my stability point until I am stable within and as the physical as myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist myself walking this process due to fear. I realize and see that fear is not real and thus all that is here is me and who I decide to be in each moment. I am the definer of myself and I make the decision of what direction I will walk. I walk as life to equality with all into and as a world that is best for all there is no other choice but this as I realize who I am one and equal with life as this physical world and existence.
I commit to stopping the resistance to breath and push myself in each breath to be aware of my physical and walk the process of purification through self forgiveness to empty myself within separations and thus become here as the physical as who I really am in oneness and equality with all life.
I commit to walk self forgiveness through self writing and self investigation so I walk through my mind and change myself from a being living from experience to living as life equal and one with all that is here.
I commit to walk responsibility within self by become aware of who I am as each breath, pushing through the resistance to not move, and use the tools to become the living word and do to others as I would for myself.
I commit to change myself in each moment to stopping the judgment and comparison of life and walking and living the realization that all this is here is me, I exist here and that is life.
life, resistance to living, i hate my life, i hate work, i don't want to do it, do i have to?, why do we have to put in so much effort to live?, why do life suffer, equality, equal money, equal life, journey to life, desteni, 2012.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Day 56- There's not Enough Time in the Day
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within this point of time and defining myself by time. I realize and see that time is not a definer and a holder of who I am, thus I can use time as a placement for movement in my life but not as a definer of who I am and what I am capable of.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is not enough time to get all my tasks done within my life and thus I go into anxiety based on this belief I hold that I will miss something. I see and realize that time is irrelevant in the sense of having enough or not, but it is all due to my application and responsibility to get the tasks done and complete and make enough space and time to get these tasks done so I do not go into fear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into anxiety and fear when I realize I have not calculated my time management effectively and thus am not able to complete all the tasks I set out in front of me thus instead of correcting this point I go into these points of suppression and self diminishment. I realize and see that the effectiveness and stress reliever is due to me balancing myself and pushing myself to make time for everything, don't allow resistance and distractions to cause delay, but walk what needs to be walked in a balanced manner so all tasks are completed when due.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into anxiety and stress and then blame others for myself being ineffective in getting my tasks done and seeing that I am not able to do it so thus to let off steam I blame others and try to make it there faults so I don't have to face the point that I screwed up. I realize and see here that I am only using blame to hide from the fact that I didn't do what I was intended to do and due to ego and trying to look good for others I go into blame to try and push blame onto others when I realize it is my own self irresponsibility.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame and place fault on others when I realize and see that it is my own doing and my self irresponsibility in not managing my time effectively and getting everything done when due.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into ego and try and make others look worse then me by blaming and pointing fingers when I am the one and realize this that I am the one who did not walk what needed to be walked and caused the tasks to be done not on time. I realize and see that ego is not necessary and only diminish me as it's showing that I am abusing life for my own gain and separating myself from others so I can be better because I had known I had not done what I was suppose to.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be irresponsible with the tasks in front of me instead of walking patience's and self perfection within my living not allowing resistances or distractions side track me from getting what is necessary done. So I realize and understand that I must walk the correction by stopping the resistances and distractions by walking a balanced task schedule and making time and space to get all my work done that is needed to be done.
I commit to walk my responsibilities to completion when they are due by setting a balance schedule in front of me and allotting enough time per day to get tasks done in a timely manner.
I commit to stop resistances and distractions and walk my responsibilities best for all as I would wan them done for me.
I commit to accept myself, walk patience with myself, and walk the perfection in living by walking in breath and slowing myself down.
time, time management, not enough time, tasks overdue, working effectively, equality, equal life, equal money, eqafe, desteni, 2012, journeytolife,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is not enough time to get all my tasks done within my life and thus I go into anxiety based on this belief I hold that I will miss something. I see and realize that time is irrelevant in the sense of having enough or not, but it is all due to my application and responsibility to get the tasks done and complete and make enough space and time to get these tasks done so I do not go into fear.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into anxiety and fear when I realize I have not calculated my time management effectively and thus am not able to complete all the tasks I set out in front of me thus instead of correcting this point I go into these points of suppression and self diminishment. I realize and see that the effectiveness and stress reliever is due to me balancing myself and pushing myself to make time for everything, don't allow resistance and distractions to cause delay, but walk what needs to be walked in a balanced manner so all tasks are completed when due.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into anxiety and stress and then blame others for myself being ineffective in getting my tasks done and seeing that I am not able to do it so thus to let off steam I blame others and try to make it there faults so I don't have to face the point that I screwed up. I realize and see here that I am only using blame to hide from the fact that I didn't do what I was intended to do and due to ego and trying to look good for others I go into blame to try and push blame onto others when I realize it is my own self irresponsibility.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame and place fault on others when I realize and see that it is my own doing and my self irresponsibility in not managing my time effectively and getting everything done when due.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into ego and try and make others look worse then me by blaming and pointing fingers when I am the one and realize this that I am the one who did not walk what needed to be walked and caused the tasks to be done not on time. I realize and see that ego is not necessary and only diminish me as it's showing that I am abusing life for my own gain and separating myself from others so I can be better because I had known I had not done what I was suppose to.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be irresponsible with the tasks in front of me instead of walking patience's and self perfection within my living not allowing resistances or distractions side track me from getting what is necessary done. So I realize and understand that I must walk the correction by stopping the resistances and distractions by walking a balanced task schedule and making time and space to get all my work done that is needed to be done.
I commit to walk my responsibilities to completion when they are due by setting a balance schedule in front of me and allotting enough time per day to get tasks done in a timely manner.
I commit to stop resistances and distractions and walk my responsibilities best for all as I would wan them done for me.
I commit to accept myself, walk patience with myself, and walk the perfection in living by walking in breath and slowing myself down.
time, time management, not enough time, tasks overdue, working effectively, equality, equal life, equal money, eqafe, desteni, 2012, journeytolife,
Monday, June 11, 2012
Day 55- I'll Kill to be Skinny
I was watching a tv show and the girl and guy where sleeping together, she got up and had her bra on and exposed her whole torse area, she was very skinny and had a flat stomach. I have always desired to have a stomach that is flat and muscler, and when seeing this flat stomach on the screen, those thoughts came up and I saw that the desire is still there, thus I will walk the point on in self forgiveness and give myself some direction to not accept this any longer through self corrective statements.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the desire to have a flat stomach so I can be seen as fit and in shape. I realize and see that this desire to be a certain body type will only cause me to diminish myself as I will be in a constant state of comparison and competition with myself and others to have this perfect picture as a skinny stomach never being satisfied with who I am and accepting my body as me. I realize and understand I must stop these desires to be skinny and stop judging and comparing bodies as all is physical and all is here one and equal to me, I am not a picture but life here in the flesh living, I am not an idea I am here a living being breathing.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize and see that the human physical body is here within and as each breath assisting and supporting me to live and express on this earth, me in competition and chasing an idea is hindering and diminishing the effectiveness and oneness of the potential of the physical as me, and thus I am compromising life's full potential for my own self interest to be attractive and seen by others while the body suffer with mal- nourishment and abuse due to desires to be more. I realize and see that this abuse and suffering to the physical is not acceptable and thus I must stop the ideas of desire through stopping my desire to be seen by others as more and thus accept myself as is and accept myself as the physical letting go of ideas of beauty and attractiveness, and live within my self living becoming perfected within who I am as life in expression and stop the worry about how I am being seen.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use pictures in my head of images I see on tv screens or in pictures to influence who I am and thus desire to be seen in a particular way as I have an idea that I will attract guys that I desire, this within and as superficiality where I desire a pretty picture and a man who sparks my sexual desires so I can have sex with a man that I can gain energy from as nice feelings so I can feel special and be seen equal to the picture and show that I got the 'cream of the crop' so thus exist within a point of using my body for my ego in competition to show that I can catch the 'hottest' male. I see and realize that this behavior is completely self abdication to the equality of life and thus using life to suit my own desires and needs of feeling good, so thus I must stop the abdication of myself to life by stopping my addiction to getting my desires fulfilled at the cost of life here and being a person who needs to win.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to win and be the best for my own self gain while I cause abuse to others in this case my physical body by exercising to gain a specific outcome and nourish it due to the idea in my head and limit it's intake so I can hold this idea and try to live into it. I realize and see that depriving my body of it's necessities to function and live here within and as this physical existence is causing unnecessary harm when I realize that the physical require certain needs to live and thus I as the physical equal and one will walk the necessary steps and understanding to make sure I am here within support and unconditional giving to my body to help it stay balanced and healthy one and equal to how I am giving life each and every breath through and as this physical body as the physical existence as life.
I commit myself to stop defining and judging myself based on others bodies and pictures on tv, but live here with all in who we are as this physical reality and stop participating in the mind to gain something for myself.
I commit myself to give to my physical body support and the necessary nutritions to live balanced and healthy and stop all forms of abuse due to ego and competition.
I commit to enjoy myself as the physical and accept all life as is and accept myself as who I am working only for what is best for all in all moments.
skinny, I want to be skinny, sexy women, beautiful people, models, magazine cut outs, sex, healthy body, human body, kill, harm life, physical reality, equality, eqafe, equal life, equal money, desteni, 2012, journey to life
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the desire to have a flat stomach so I can be seen as fit and in shape. I realize and see that this desire to be a certain body type will only cause me to diminish myself as I will be in a constant state of comparison and competition with myself and others to have this perfect picture as a skinny stomach never being satisfied with who I am and accepting my body as me. I realize and understand I must stop these desires to be skinny and stop judging and comparing bodies as all is physical and all is here one and equal to me, I am not a picture but life here in the flesh living, I am not an idea I am here a living being breathing.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize and see that the human physical body is here within and as each breath assisting and supporting me to live and express on this earth, me in competition and chasing an idea is hindering and diminishing the effectiveness and oneness of the potential of the physical as me, and thus I am compromising life's full potential for my own self interest to be attractive and seen by others while the body suffer with mal- nourishment and abuse due to desires to be more. I realize and see that this abuse and suffering to the physical is not acceptable and thus I must stop the ideas of desire through stopping my desire to be seen by others as more and thus accept myself as is and accept myself as the physical letting go of ideas of beauty and attractiveness, and live within my self living becoming perfected within who I am as life in expression and stop the worry about how I am being seen.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use pictures in my head of images I see on tv screens or in pictures to influence who I am and thus desire to be seen in a particular way as I have an idea that I will attract guys that I desire, this within and as superficiality where I desire a pretty picture and a man who sparks my sexual desires so I can have sex with a man that I can gain energy from as nice feelings so I can feel special and be seen equal to the picture and show that I got the 'cream of the crop' so thus exist within a point of using my body for my ego in competition to show that I can catch the 'hottest' male. I see and realize that this behavior is completely self abdication to the equality of life and thus using life to suit my own desires and needs of feeling good, so thus I must stop the abdication of myself to life by stopping my addiction to getting my desires fulfilled at the cost of life here and being a person who needs to win.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to win and be the best for my own self gain while I cause abuse to others in this case my physical body by exercising to gain a specific outcome and nourish it due to the idea in my head and limit it's intake so I can hold this idea and try to live into it. I realize and see that depriving my body of it's necessities to function and live here within and as this physical existence is causing unnecessary harm when I realize that the physical require certain needs to live and thus I as the physical equal and one will walk the necessary steps and understanding to make sure I am here within support and unconditional giving to my body to help it stay balanced and healthy one and equal to how I am giving life each and every breath through and as this physical body as the physical existence as life.
I commit myself to stop defining and judging myself based on others bodies and pictures on tv, but live here with all in who we are as this physical reality and stop participating in the mind to gain something for myself.
I commit myself to give to my physical body support and the necessary nutritions to live balanced and healthy and stop all forms of abuse due to ego and competition.
I commit to enjoy myself as the physical and accept all life as is and accept myself as who I am working only for what is best for all in all moments.
skinny, I want to be skinny, sexy women, beautiful people, models, magazine cut outs, sex, healthy body, human body, kill, harm life, physical reality, equality, eqafe, equal life, equal money, desteni, 2012, journey to life
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Day 54- Suppressing Myself based on Self Judgment
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress my self expression based on seeing myself as less then the others around me. I realize and see within who I am and who I am with, we are equal in physical reality, we are one within and as life, and that I am only creating this feeling of less then within my mind due to the fact that I am comparing myself so thus I realize I must stop comparing myself and stop judging my self within all aspects of who I am as expression for myself to live in freedom to just be me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself based on the fact that I desire to be seen within a specific way based on not seeing myself within who I am because I don’t like myself and who I am. I realize and see that within this desire to be seen within a specific way I will always be in a point of compromise because I will always compromise myself to this idea to be a likable by others and thus suppress myself when I see that this idea will not be lived up to, so thus I stop the self compromising myself by stopping the living into ideas that I have to be liked by others, but realizing that the true self is here within and as myself and my acceptance of myself in all it's facets and dimensions and correcting this to life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself with others to an idea that I need to be more then just being me here because I don’t like myself and I see myself not equal to others so thus I try and create this equality with others based on the way I manipulate the situation to favor all points I see as good about me such as using my body, word placement, cloths, or hair, to thus have others become more attracted to me because otherwise I don’t see myself as attractive to anyone. I realize and see within living within this point of self compromise where I try and become a specific being for specific people I will always walk into suppression and be depressed as I am not allowing myself to express in freedom thus living within and as separation to suit my mind and not live as physical thus separating me and causing me to diminish myself for the acceptance of others. I realize I have to accept myself to stop this suppression and live equal.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hold an onto an idea of myself that I need to impress others and manipulate situations for others to like me because I see myself as ugly and that I have to become perfect by creating this or I will not be able to enjoy life and be in the lerch so to speak with no one because I don’t see another way to be with others if I am not able to win them over with a point of self acting to have them see me as cool/beautiful/perfect. I realize and see that within this desire to have others like me and see myself as ugly and not worthy I will never be able to be settled and stable within myself because I am living within a polarity play out of negative/positive and never seeing myself within in it, but only to impress the outside world while my inner world suffer. So I see and realize that I have to walk self acceptance and stop these ideas and beliefs that I have to do something or be something for acceptance from others, but be me live how I would want to be treated with others, and accept myself so thus I can accept myself as others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compromise myself to others because I desire a certain outcome, a certain picture and thus I am not able to ever live here because the picture I desire to be doesn’t exist, I am trying to exist for a idea that is impossible and thus I realize and see that this idea of perfection of trying to be a certain outcome as perfect will not be possible because I am not perfect within an idea through illusion as the mind, this self perfection can only be through my living into and as equality as life within this physical as what is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from others because I fear people, this fear is based on me holding onto the fear that I will be humiliated in front of others and not be able to hold my own if challenged. I realize and see that this fear is based on the point of seeing myself as weak and others better and thus I must stop this polarity play out of seeing me as weak and others as more to be able to walk the point into correction as standing here stable with all. I realize when in fear my expression is stifled and diminished as I am tense and not in reality but in my mind thus I use my breath as physical support to get myself back here in equality and oneness with the others as the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as fear and allow it to direct me when I realize and see that I am able to direct myself in the physical in common sense with others in practical points so I must walk this by stopping the self judgment of myself, stopping desire to be perfect, and stoppin the fear when I don't live up to this. I realize I must live here with others as myself, stopping going into the mind in fear.
I commit to accept myself here with others as myself and express in the moment openly and freely to thus build self confidence.
I commit to walk and breath into self perfection in living as me in each moment to thus have the ability to walk points for self and be self sufficient and stop my dependence on others.
I commit to stop my self judgment adn self compromise by living in practical reality with others as my equal and walk solutions for what is best for all.
fear, self suppression, why di i suppress myself, self diminishment, compromising me, equality, equal money, equal life, 2012, journey to life desteni
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