Superficial – Self Forgiveness and Self Correction to Live – Day 316

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be an image that is seen by others as super, best, desired, and highlighted based on the fact that within and as who I am I have accepted and allowed to see myself as inferior to others image and thus stand to compete rather then be here in who we are for real equal as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as an image only and thus compare and compete against other images in my world not realizing and/or living the fact that all images are illusion of the mind created to separate in to more or less, and thus this is used by the ego to be best while others lose causing abuse. Life here do not abuse as life as self realize that all here is self thus one is only abusing oneself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only see images around me, based on desires and emotional attachments as energies of acceptance or feeling good because someone liked my image and thus am limited within the acceptance of others liking me rather then me giving this to myself and creating a real relationship with myself in creating what I enjoy and what I will accept and allow and what not as a self direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only limit myself and my environment to seeing images alone as pictures and emotional attachments in my mind missing the truth of what is real, that life is not images and thus life is not a feeling or emotions, but is simply here living and can be lived in common sense and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with images and desiring to be special within being a ‘super’ ‘face’ rather then seeing what is relevant and thus what needs changing through creating and ensuring the best life for all here on this planet, where images is not relevant as obviously life is more then images.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use distractions such as competition and comparison to get what I want through using this super face as this will only cause self compromise because I am not self willed and self directed, but directed by polarities through energy that will only seek this fulfillment as self interest and not reality based living to make sure the change necessary within me and thus the without of me as this world is sorted and all abuse ends.

When and as I see I am going into a point of desire in wanting my image looked at or changing myself in a point of self compromise for others to accept me, I stop and breath, and I realize that within this I am compromising myself because I am split and thus not self directed and so will easily be swayed by desires and the mind and others acceptance then what is best for life through standing within this point no matter what mind desires or points I face.

I commit myself to stop and investigate each point I go into of self compromise where I am searching for something outside myself like a feeling or a acceptance, and thus stop participating in it until I am satisfied I can stand in this point.

I commit myself to stop the point of self compromising by checking through slowing down my starting point for doing things, and correct it if it's due to a point of acceptance outside myself.

I commit myself to give self care and self nurture through testing and developing this point for myself through becoming gentle with me but steadfast within my discipline to stop going into self interest/self compromise.

I commit myself to stop defying this point of self care and self acceptance by actually being consistent within it and stopping all the mind attachments within self interest/self compromise, and embrace self within and as all that is here and walking whatever is necessary to make sure I can stand no matter what and not be swayed by emotions or feelings as these are not real and thus I commit to stop participating in them and focus on physical reality, my breath, and living in and with my body as I move.

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Marlen Vargas Del Razo


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Superficial – What’s in a Word – Day 315

So here within this word Superficial I am looking at what the word is saying as it’s purpose, so it’s saying the ‘Super’ ‘Face’ of myself, the image of who I want to be as the ego self, pushing to show face and thus be the super face to get the most attention from others. So here looking at the starting point of this particular point of my image, I have come to realize I am very much into the way my image is presented to others, and making sure before I go anywhere that I am looking the best I can. It has become a paranoia because I create this look I must achieve as the picture in my mind, and thus if I see at anytime, such as a glimpse in a mirror or in a window, and I am not up to par, then I will go into a reaction of fear and anxiety because I have judged myself as very unpleasant looking if I do not have the ‘approved’ look and thus the ‘super’ ‘face’ to present to my environment and thus get acceptance.

Now, for real, this is crazy living and self sabotage to the max as this scenario of trying to look perfect obviously is a point of self interest because who am I trying to look perfect for? Myself? No because when I am alone, I am quite content and ok with the way I am looking and really I don’t even bother with paying attention to it. But once someone else enters the scenario, then my paranoia kicks in of, ‘oh gosh, I must have my ‘super’ ‘face’ on, I must be presentable". This showing that I am only caring about others, what they think, how they perceive me, and this at the end of the day is due to self interest as there is a point I will not let go of, the definition and thus image of looking my best. Why do I have to look in this way? Who am I trying to impress? Obviously I am not accepting myself and thus will always be in fear due to always seeing myself less then, and thus having to become an image for others to be acceptable.

This obviously the product of my mind and what I have accepted and allowed in my mind through comparisons, judgments, and competition, and so live in this self created misery because I want to be something that is not in fact real and can never be achieved. I am chasing something that has no solution and thus why I have existed in my head in polarities for the the whole of my life, missing what is in fact real, missing myself in creating my living into self perfection, missing me understanding and building an equal relationship with me and others in my world, missing the existence for myself that I could create if I just stop the desires to be more, to be special, to be wanted, to be the best, it has to stop and thus it will only stop when I stop existing as the super face and start with the real self, as the face is part of the body which is part of everything here. And thus what is real is here as this world and thus who I am within it equal and one to who I create myself and direct myself as, there is in fact no separation here as all are physical and all are life, this separation in fact is existant only in my mind.

Life is not about being super, it’s about living in what is best for all, this has nothing to do with being special or more or better, but living to the best of my ability in my body in consideration of all equally and this is including myself. 

Will write more next blog with Self forgiveness and self correction.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki
Equal Money System Website
Equal Life Foundation

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Day 55- I'll Kill to be Skinny

I was watching a tv show and the girl and guy where sleeping together, she got up and had her bra on and exposed her whole torse area, she was very skinny and had a flat stomach. I have always desired to have a stomach that is flat and muscler, and when seeing this flat stomach on the screen, those thoughts came up and I saw that the desire is still there, thus I will walk the point on in self forgiveness and give myself some direction to not accept this any longer through self corrective statements.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the desire to have a flat stomach so I can be seen as fit and in shape. I realize and see that this desire to be a certain body type will only cause me to diminish myself as I will be in a constant state of comparison and competition with myself and others to have this perfect picture as a skinny stomach never being satisfied with who I am and accepting my body as me. I realize and understand I must stop these desires to be skinny and stop judging and comparing bodies as all is physical and all is here one and equal to me, I am not a picture but life here in the flesh living, I am not an idea I am here a living being breathing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize and see that the human physical body is here within and as each breath assisting and supporting me to live and express on this earth, me in competition and chasing an idea is hindering and diminishing the effectiveness and oneness of the potential of the physical as me, and thus I am compromising life's full potential for my own self interest to be attractive and seen by others while the body suffer with mal- nourishment and abuse due to desires to be more. I realize and see that this abuse and suffering to the physical is not acceptable and thus I must stop the ideas of desire through stopping my desire to be seen by others as more and thus accept myself as is and accept myself as the physical letting go of ideas of beauty and attractiveness, and live within my self living becoming perfected within who I am as life in expression and stop the worry about how I am being seen.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use pictures in my head of images I see on tv screens or in pictures to influence who I am and thus desire to be seen in a particular way as I have an idea that I will attract guys that I desire, this within and as superficiality where I desire a pretty picture and a man who sparks my sexual desires so I can have sex with a man that I can gain energy from as nice feelings so I can feel special and be seen equal to the picture and show that I got the 'cream of the crop' so thus exist within a point of using my body for my ego in competition to show that I can catch the 'hottest' male. I see and realize that this behavior is completely self abdication to the equality of life and thus using life to suit my own desires and needs of feeling good, so thus I must stop the abdication of myself to life by stopping my addiction to getting my desires fulfilled at the cost of life here and being a person who needs to win.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to win and be the best for my own self gain while I cause abuse to others in this case my physical body by exercising to gain a specific outcome and nourish it due to the idea in my head and limit it's intake so I can hold this idea and try to live into it. I realize and see that depriving my body of it's necessities to function and live here within and as this physical existence is causing unnecessary harm when I realize that the physical require certain needs to live and thus I as the physical equal and one will walk the necessary steps and understanding to make sure I am here within support and unconditional giving to my body to help it stay balanced and healthy one and equal to how I am giving life each and every breath through and as this physical body as the physical existence as life.

I commit myself to stop defining and judging myself based on others bodies and pictures on tv, but live here with all in who we are as this physical reality and stop participating in the mind to gain something for myself.

I commit myself to give to my physical body support and the necessary nutritions to live balanced and healthy and stop all forms of abuse due to ego and competition.

I commit to enjoy myself as the physical and accept all life as is and accept myself as who I am working only for what is best for all in all moments.



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Day 39- Am I Just a Picture?

Looking and walking through the pattern of believing myself to be not worthy based within the polarity play out of inferior/superior through comparison and  self judgment that I am not good enough to others defining this through and as pictures and images with ideas and energy connected to generate the feeling of what comes up as good or bad to what I am seeing in separation to me, this causing me to feel weak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to limit myself to just images and define life by pictures in my mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to categorize beings based on how they compare to me as better/worse based on the way I judge their image.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define life based on the beauty system as beautiful/ugly due to the picture they/I present and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to limit myself based on how I want life to look like instead of seeing life how it is.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see myself as not worthy due to the way my picture looks in a singular moment of judgment based on my idea of being beautiful or being ugly within my judgment I cast on to myself and others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to only see pictures here as images in my head to which I am having a emotional connections to instead of being here in reality and seeing that we are just bodies, we are just flesh here, we are all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within and as moments of focus when I judge my body/flesh according to other bodies/flesh that I see around me and thus go into a positive charge if I see I am 'better' in the idea that I want my picture to look like compared to other bodies I am seeing and thus defining me as a better looking picture.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within and as moments of focus when I judge my body/flesh with others bodies/flesh in the vicinity and thus go into a negative charge as I have created the experience of lack and thus see myself as less then which I have created this emotion of unworthiness connected toward this idea of me being less then based on the images I am comparing myself to as either better or less then how I have judged my picture image in that moment. When in reality I neither lack nor gain but remain here as living flesh equal with the other as we both breath and we both live thus we are both here, pictures are not real I realize they are made up as they only exist within my mind and thus I created them so I can stop them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a positive experience were I have compared myself to another and defined me as more and thus allowed and accepted pleasurable feelings to warm me within an energy movement because I am feeling better about myself as I have defined myself by my picture and thus limited me to a picture only thru comparing the other to me and living within separation as ego to be more because I am not accepting myself fully here as one to them and thus I have created a point of competition not realizing and seeing I am competing with myself and diminishing myself as I am attack only myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a negative experience when I have compared myself to another and defined myself as less then that picture within the idea of beauty I am comparing myself to and thus go into inferiority towards that being I have compared myself to and live into the cycle of less/more defining myself by pictures thru desiring my self interest to be met of gaining attention from others as I am not accepting myself, and go into this depression state because I have not gained the attention I desire because I am seeing myself as ugly based on the comparison in pictures and thus no one will like me, I will not get my energy fill as power/good feelings.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself by pictures instead of  realizing that we all exist here and thus all have the same life as myself thus to define a being by a feeling or experience and get stuck within this idea that pictures is who I am is done in the basis of self interest as I want to be seen as more and thus separating myself from from myself as life and diminishing myself due to the idea that I am not worthy here I am not good enough so seeking this through others instead of realizing I can only live this as myself I can only be worthy if I live it here within who I am here with and as all here as me. No polarity exist within this existence except the one I am accepting and allowing to direct me in my mind by continually giving it energy as being less then or more then what is in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a feeling of exhilaration as an energy movement when I am seen as beautiful and defined myself in a way of superiority to thus be addicted to the power and feelings of pleasure that this give me and thus within this experience of power and feeling of pleasure through the ego as superiority I miss the reality of what is here, that all beings are here still and thus I can not exist within being more as being better because I will be missing myself within the others and thus have to try and produce this point of being more which will never last, I realize I can not be more then who I am here as one and equal with all that exist, so this idea that I can be more is just that an idea and must be let go of because I am only compromising me to live here in reality and thus will eventually die out as energy as illusions because illusions never last, me being more is an illusion because what exist for real is life and life is one and equal as this physical is evidence to.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to get lost for a moment in pictures and my desire to be more then who I think I am and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself by pictures and ideas.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me by desires to be more and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting energies as power and  pleasure and depression direct me due to how I have perceived myself in comparison to another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to another and thus define me by separation as pictures when I realize and see that who i am here is life and that all I see and all that live is life just like me no need to separate myself, we are here to live.

When and as this point to go into pictures in my mind and define me by these images as pictures, I stop, breath, and let go the desire to judge pictures I have created superimposed on to the body as flesh that live here as all life. I walk through the desire and stop participating in it. I realize that I must stop giving this pattern of judging and comparing life my participation to thus have the stop energy addiction stop.

When and as I have this desire to go into comparison towards any being in my world, I stop, breath and let go of the energy movement to compare, I stand here and breath through the desire not giving it any participation. I realize and see that all that live here is me and thus I stop defining myself by polarities and comparison and start accepting myself and living for me in understanding as equal and one with all life within and as the physical reality and walking to align with myself as physical in my living each moment.

I commit to stopping judgement of pictures in my mind and respect and honor all life as equal and one to me and how I would like to be treated, give respect to receive respect I walk equal and one.

I commit to stopping comparison to others in my world by letting go of  the desire to be more.

I commit to letting go my ego and stand here and walk myself to physical equality and oneness to what is real in this physical reality our lives and life as self equal and one.