Feeling guilt for leaving the gate open and allowing my niece almost to seriously injure herself this realization came from a fellow youtuber's comment she placed of seeing me as feeling guilty in the video, which I watched back and saw this as so.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to continually cycle through the memory of her almost falling down the stairs within and as me and causing myself to become guilty for this action.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to form guilt based on a past memory that does not define me nor determine who I am in this here moment and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to enslave myself to a memory of past moments that are not here and thus not relevant to who I am here as breath into self change as equality and oneness.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into guilt when I allow thoughts to accumulate of her injuries and suffering that could have occurred if I was seconds later and thus wallowing in depression based on this point that is not real nor beneficial for me to think about as it only causes me to be stagnant and in self diminishment as I am not walking breath as the correction I placed here in writing of myself in each and every moment in previous post.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accumulate thoughts of what if scenarios go through my head as these are points of distraction placed and pushed within my mind dimensions as I am accepting them by giving them energy through participating in them and thus I am distracting myself from the solution which is myself here in each breath stopping thoughts from directing me and becoming the solution as myself as I live.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as what if scenarios in my head as future projections or past possibilities entrapping myself within and as the mind as these points of past and future play outs I realize actual do not exist as they are not here within this breath moment as physical actuality as reality, but are within the mind as dimensions that are not real as mind dimensions is made up illusions we create and participate in as thoughts to thus make life more interesting but within this as separating ourselves from ourselves as life as creators we are sabotaging ourselves by looking for more when we are here as it. Within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within and as past, present, and future play outs as thoughts, feelings, and emotions as these are separating myself from what is here as the solution as myself within oneness and equality to thus walk this within and as breath til I am here and it in in fact real as me breathing as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from myself through participating in the mind within emotions as guilt and I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to let emotions exist within and as me here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to judge myself for who I was in the past and thus entrap myself in a cycle of self sabotage as I continually replay this and continually judge myself as the memory comes up through trigger points such as seeing her or a set of stairs.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist through memories as being triggered through seeing her or a set of stairs, and thus reenforce the entrap of myself by existing in the past instead of remaining here within and as the solution as myself living it, stopping the mind as thoughts and memories within distraction, and so living here as the correction as I take responsibility for what I did and thus change to be best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to self sabotage myself by existing in self judgment through who I was in the past instead of living here and changing myself as the solution in what I realize is the solution which is living here within and as oneness and equality with all life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to not accept myself and thus enjoy the self sabotage of myself because I see myself as deserving of this as I see myself as not able to and capable to be more then what I am here, and thus I go into self sabotage because I am living this as myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to sabotage myself because I don't accept myself, I see and realize that I am here and thus I am life one and equal with the physical so thus I realize I am capable and able to walk the corrections, will myself to stand and change, and push myself to continue this until it is done as I see this is who I am if I will it to be, I am director and thus responsible for what I do and create, I realize this is not just for me as self freedom but for life as self freedom within and as acceptance of all of us here as we walk and take responsibility for who we are as our creations individually and as a whole, and thus we walk as the correction as existences individually and as a whole until it is done.
When and as this point of guilt and the judgment of myself as self sabotage comes up, I stop and breath, continue to stop participating in the thoughts and pushing myself to walk as self acceptance by stopping all points of self judgement. I realize that this must be walked breath by breath as I will have many thoughts come up as I have accumulated many judgements as separations within myself, but I continue to apply self forgiveness, and walk the corrections, stopping myself, and embracing myself as who I am as life as all here is this. I stop guilt and existing within and as past, present, and future projections and thus remain here by walking as breath, pushing this until it is no more resisted, and walk the change until life is here in oneness and equality.
I commit to walk the points of stopping guilt and judgement of myself for who I was in past moments, and remain here within breath as I stop thoughts and work on my self application to stand here one and equal with self as life.
I commit to stop participating in thoughts, emotions, and feelings when they arise as I focus on breath and practice being here, until I am here, and I am no more directed by the mind, but self directed as life best for all.
I commit to walk self acceptance with all life starting here with myself by pushing intimacy and self understanding with the process of stopping self judgment and sabotage until I am here in full acceptance.
guilt, guilty conscience, I am guilty, guilty verdict, child abuse, child care, self sabotage, stopping guilt, living solutions, life in guilt, eqafe, wiki, desteni, equal money, journey to life
Showing posts with label wiki. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wiki. Show all posts
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Day 14 - I Abuse Life
I became possessed yesterday when I found out my sister had thrown out my food that I just bought, I asked her why she threw it out and she told me that there is so many of the same things and we don't need all this food. I went into intense anger when I heard those words as I immediately saw her as a selfish bitch, and having no consideration for anyone but herself. I went into intense points of wanting to flip out on her as I was allowing the thoughts to accumulate and intensify as I was scanning through all the points within me of how she is selfish, and only looks out for herself. To cool off a bit and stop the acceleration of anger I was allowing, I took my dog to the field to play ball. I use a racket and tennis balls, and blast them across the field. I hit the tennis ball with all my force as I still was holding onto the anger and really just wanted to take it out on something, so I did with the racket and the ball. Using all my force and my whole body quite unnaturally where my whole body would move with the swing, I blasted the ball as hard as I could where I would turn myself around as I followed through with such force and intensity. I ended up tearing a muscle in my neck and it's been stiff now since yesterday.
I found support with identifying pain from the desteni group, specifically Sunette Spies, and she said to push gently on the pained area and look within your solar plexus area and see what energies/memories/points come up within pushing on the pained area. I did this an immediately I saw anger. I did this this afternoon and had forgotten about the event and the the ball activity at the park with my dog yesterday, but as I looked at this point as anger these play outs were here for me to look at. So I was quite impressed when I saw this point arise as I see with phsyical result how the body is a support. Within this point of tearing my neck muscle, I see it as I am trying to tear myself away from myself through and as the point with my sister, instead of facing myself as anger, as selfishness, as inconsideration of others, I want to get away and tear the ties that are here with her, as this is impossible, as I see with the neck, I am only tearing myself apart. I walk the forgiveness and stand as a correction to thus not fight and react to myself in separating, but stand in oneness with myself as all so we can walk to solutions and stop the tearing of ourselves, and really live here as who we are as Life as we live our words.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to walk within and as spite and resentment of another being when I perceive what is being done to me as a direct assault onto who I am as I don't consider the other and the state in which they are in in all that I know that is going on in their worlds, and thus go into reaction as anger to manifest which cause abuse as yelling and hurtful words to thus induce my ego and make me more. I realize and see that within this point of not accepting the other as myself I am only perpetuating and enslaving my own self sabotage point as I am not finding the core route of the problem which is me within and as who I am existing as in that moment, but going into deflection as blame and resentment onto the other not facing myself and who I am being. The core root problem being me and not taking into consideration the other as me, but want to be more and get my anger out onto them to gain nice feelings.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within and as anger towards any being in my world based on me taken what is done to me as a personal attack and thus going into defense mode as I try and fend off the other as if they are causing harm to me, when I realize and see that no harm is done onto me and that they are not personally attacking me, but only participating in the points that they themselves do not accept and thus are allowing to direct them as the mind, so I realize and see instead of going into reaction and causing more of a problem and actually creating self diminishment, best to breath here and allow myself to let go of the energy to try and make my energy win, but stand as equal to the other and come to solutions that will be best for both.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to go into anger based on seeing my sister as the perpetrator and that she only considers herself in everything she does, not seeing that I am the one who is only considering myself within the blame and anger towards her for throwing out my food when I would throw out her food if I saw it necessary, and I didn't give her equal and one consideration as I would give myself, so thus I desire to only meet my end by taking out my energy movement as anger when I found out my food had been thrown out and accept and allow myself to take it out on my sister for doing something that I would do and have done with her food as well. I realize and see that within this point I must consider all points within consideration of myself and the other, firstly, by stopping my ego as energy to just want to win and take out energy onto another to gain satisfaction within the release, and stopping the participation in reaction to the other as blame and anger as I realize they are doing this based on their own mind patterns and points as I am doing this within myself. I realize this release within letting go of anger on another is only putting fuel to the fire as I see and find the other is reacting as well and will react as a mind system same as me and the problem will get worse and more intense, as I am the creator and creation as the problem, so thus it will not stop until I stop.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to release anger onto another based on existing within blame not considering the other as myself and within this specific case what the other as me has been through and is going through in terms of her life experiences and that she is not doing this unto me as a personal attack and I realize I am not personally harmed by this act of throwing my food out, and within this I realize that there are more deep issues between the surface that I am not being sensitive to nor in equality and oneness with as her as I am existing within anger as blame to see my ego restored as I go into a resistance when I find that I had my stuff thrown out as if I am only caring and seeing myself. I realize and see this whole play out as anger was based on holding onto my ego and seeing that it was diminished and not respected due to the fact that my stuff was thrown out deliberately.
Within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be within and as ego games with others to try to force my will on them as anger and regain the control in the play out of inferior/superior I am existing as and thus want to be on top again so I can control the other and make for me to always have energy generated from this being to gain for me to see that I am more strong then this being and she will always be weaker then me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use anger as a force to diminish another to remain in control and authority within the play out of the two of us so I can remain in superiority because I gain feelings of grandeur for my ego which I am compensating with other moments that I am accepting in my world where I feel less then and like shit as I am accepting myself to be inferior to others and give them the control over me by submitting to this play out of being and seeing myself less then them. I realize and see I am only perpetuating this cycle of enslavement within myself by existing in this play out of weak strong with others in my world, as I am existing as weak/strong within fragment pieces of myself because I am not seeing myself here as all and I am not accepting myself here as all. Within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within polarity play outs of ego as weak/strong as I realize I am not separate from these points, but am equal to and one with these points and thus must walk equal as me as all and redefine the word as weak/strong to be best for all.
Word Re-definition- Weak and Strong
Weak- to live within and as points of showing where within this existence correction is needed to give us a gauge as physical consequence to see where we may have missed a point to thus see that it is not as prominent as it is could be within stability, and thus we can see this in the weak point, and therefore walk the correction equal and one with all existence as self to become stable again as the correction.
Strong- to live within and as points of seeing where in our selves we have become stable and prominent within living as equality and oneness and thus show as strength in unison as balance and harmony within and as the sound movement of life within as the physical as we correct a point to satisfaction and see the physical result as a strength within and as self as life as the physical as what is specified and walked accordingly to what is best for all.
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I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as ego as mind towards life within and as my world in the act of physically by force through the act of creating my face and voice in high pitches and 'angry' looking expressions to thus put fear in the other and try and submit them to my control so thus I can suck the energy from them as they submit to me and I win within and as myself as I gain a nice feeling within me when I find that I am more then another by having them submit to me as anger and aggression.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within this anger and perpetuate it with the other as they grow within their ego in desire to be the winner and thus gain good feelings for themselves, so thus create a dangerous and abusive situation for the both of us as common sense analysis in self honesty is not consider and only winning is considered where I compromise myself and diminish myself by separating myself from the other and using them within and as abuse to make myself feel better and more through gaining energy by beating them and getting them to submit by using force as anger. I realize and see this is a complete statement to myself as life as I don't see myself as who I am as one with life and thus actually go and abuse myself as the other as I am only seeing myself within self interest and polarities where I will go so far as to physical hurt myself as the other to be on top and see that I am a winner as I am not accepting myself and in fear of who I am if I do so thus go into anger and gain energy cause it's easier then having to walk the correction and stopping this.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to accept myself as anger as ego in an attempt to be more then another as I go and live out this anger where I will physically form myself to be mean and aggressive toward the other so I can be on top and I can get them to submit in fear, but also not caring to consider the other as me as who we are as life within our walks as our physical processes, but only be within and as self interest to feed on energy and become the best as I seek to gain acceptance from others through being the best over others. I realize and see that anger only diminish me as I am only trying to be more and control others as me here as I realize all here is me, and also I am compromising myself as life by trying to create fear and suffering in another to make me seem more by having the other submit due to this fear as me as a anger demon, and thus completely separate myself here as life as the physical as I have degraded and became less then the energies I am producing as I am creating them and manifesting them as myself onto another because I am not accepting myself and desire to have acceptance outside of myself because I am believing and existing as an ego in separation in desires to be more.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have fear exist within and as me and use it onto others as anger and aggressiveness to be in control as I am in fear of myself as I don't want to see who I am and what I am doing so thus i just continue as is until I am faced with it and can not turn away as this act of ripping the muscle in my neck and having it physical manifest where I am tearing my life force from myself by abusing and degrading the life in another that is equal and one to me based on an illusion I am accepting that is to be greater than for power and control to generate energy that does not last and does not give me any more power or control over anyone, but only cause me to diminish until I cease to exist at death because life is not energy and abuse, life is one and equal. I realize and see that I do not need to live in such a way as abuse and control, but I can exist within and as oneness and equality with all life as I accept life as myself and let go of my ego to be more as I accept myself as who I am as life one and equal with what is here.
When and as this point to go into blame, anger, and the desire to be more, I stop, breath, and state 'I am not separate from this being, I am not my ego' and thus I walk within and as breathing to release all the built up emotion, I walk away until it diminishes, and I do not react in any way until I am stable and live no abuse as myself in any way whatsoever. I walk this until I am stable and no energy movement moves me no matter what is done to me, I realize and see the other is me, and thus only walking their process as I have and am to self realize the same points, we are not our minds as energy, but here as life as physical substance. I walk this until I am here, and I have never again allowed, anger, abuse, control, and any point to be more then another in self interest. I walk to let go of my ego and embrace all as myself in who I am as the other as life and walk solutions, find solutions, and assist others when I have walked the correction so life can and will be lived best for all through my own self will as my physical self correction to stop me as ego.
I commit to stop all points of blame, anger, resentfulness, and control with all points in my world until I have become this and thus am able to direct all point within the solution in what is best for all life.
I commit to walk the correction as breath until I am not moved by any point of outside influence as I have walked it as myself and see that I am the other and thus only showing me to me, so I commit to walk me until I am not moved by any point and thus then direct when I am here stable one and equal.
anger, sister fight, blaming, stupid argument, hurt neck, dog play, ego trips, egos, ego, pain, identifying pains, what is pain, equality, oneness, equal money, desteni, wiki, 2012, eqafe, 7 year journey to nothingness, demon
I found support with identifying pain from the desteni group, specifically Sunette Spies, and she said to push gently on the pained area and look within your solar plexus area and see what energies/memories/points come up within pushing on the pained area. I did this an immediately I saw anger. I did this this afternoon and had forgotten about the event and the the ball activity at the park with my dog yesterday, but as I looked at this point as anger these play outs were here for me to look at. So I was quite impressed when I saw this point arise as I see with phsyical result how the body is a support. Within this point of tearing my neck muscle, I see it as I am trying to tear myself away from myself through and as the point with my sister, instead of facing myself as anger, as selfishness, as inconsideration of others, I want to get away and tear the ties that are here with her, as this is impossible, as I see with the neck, I am only tearing myself apart. I walk the forgiveness and stand as a correction to thus not fight and react to myself in separating, but stand in oneness with myself as all so we can walk to solutions and stop the tearing of ourselves, and really live here as who we are as Life as we live our words.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to walk within and as spite and resentment of another being when I perceive what is being done to me as a direct assault onto who I am as I don't consider the other and the state in which they are in in all that I know that is going on in their worlds, and thus go into reaction as anger to manifest which cause abuse as yelling and hurtful words to thus induce my ego and make me more. I realize and see that within this point of not accepting the other as myself I am only perpetuating and enslaving my own self sabotage point as I am not finding the core route of the problem which is me within and as who I am existing as in that moment, but going into deflection as blame and resentment onto the other not facing myself and who I am being. The core root problem being me and not taking into consideration the other as me, but want to be more and get my anger out onto them to gain nice feelings.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within and as anger towards any being in my world based on me taken what is done to me as a personal attack and thus going into defense mode as I try and fend off the other as if they are causing harm to me, when I realize and see that no harm is done onto me and that they are not personally attacking me, but only participating in the points that they themselves do not accept and thus are allowing to direct them as the mind, so I realize and see instead of going into reaction and causing more of a problem and actually creating self diminishment, best to breath here and allow myself to let go of the energy to try and make my energy win, but stand as equal to the other and come to solutions that will be best for both.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to go into anger based on seeing my sister as the perpetrator and that she only considers herself in everything she does, not seeing that I am the one who is only considering myself within the blame and anger towards her for throwing out my food when I would throw out her food if I saw it necessary, and I didn't give her equal and one consideration as I would give myself, so thus I desire to only meet my end by taking out my energy movement as anger when I found out my food had been thrown out and accept and allow myself to take it out on my sister for doing something that I would do and have done with her food as well. I realize and see that within this point I must consider all points within consideration of myself and the other, firstly, by stopping my ego as energy to just want to win and take out energy onto another to gain satisfaction within the release, and stopping the participation in reaction to the other as blame and anger as I realize they are doing this based on their own mind patterns and points as I am doing this within myself. I realize this release within letting go of anger on another is only putting fuel to the fire as I see and find the other is reacting as well and will react as a mind system same as me and the problem will get worse and more intense, as I am the creator and creation as the problem, so thus it will not stop until I stop.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to release anger onto another based on existing within blame not considering the other as myself and within this specific case what the other as me has been through and is going through in terms of her life experiences and that she is not doing this unto me as a personal attack and I realize I am not personally harmed by this act of throwing my food out, and within this I realize that there are more deep issues between the surface that I am not being sensitive to nor in equality and oneness with as her as I am existing within anger as blame to see my ego restored as I go into a resistance when I find that I had my stuff thrown out as if I am only caring and seeing myself. I realize and see this whole play out as anger was based on holding onto my ego and seeing that it was diminished and not respected due to the fact that my stuff was thrown out deliberately.
Within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be within and as ego games with others to try to force my will on them as anger and regain the control in the play out of inferior/superior I am existing as and thus want to be on top again so I can control the other and make for me to always have energy generated from this being to gain for me to see that I am more strong then this being and she will always be weaker then me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use anger as a force to diminish another to remain in control and authority within the play out of the two of us so I can remain in superiority because I gain feelings of grandeur for my ego which I am compensating with other moments that I am accepting in my world where I feel less then and like shit as I am accepting myself to be inferior to others and give them the control over me by submitting to this play out of being and seeing myself less then them. I realize and see I am only perpetuating this cycle of enslavement within myself by existing in this play out of weak strong with others in my world, as I am existing as weak/strong within fragment pieces of myself because I am not seeing myself here as all and I am not accepting myself here as all. Within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within polarity play outs of ego as weak/strong as I realize I am not separate from these points, but am equal to and one with these points and thus must walk equal as me as all and redefine the word as weak/strong to be best for all.
Word Re-definition- Weak and Strong
Weak- to live within and as points of showing where within this existence correction is needed to give us a gauge as physical consequence to see where we may have missed a point to thus see that it is not as prominent as it is could be within stability, and thus we can see this in the weak point, and therefore walk the correction equal and one with all existence as self to become stable again as the correction.
Strong- to live within and as points of seeing where in our selves we have become stable and prominent within living as equality and oneness and thus show as strength in unison as balance and harmony within and as the sound movement of life within as the physical as we correct a point to satisfaction and see the physical result as a strength within and as self as life as the physical as what is specified and walked accordingly to what is best for all.
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I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as ego as mind towards life within and as my world in the act of physically by force through the act of creating my face and voice in high pitches and 'angry' looking expressions to thus put fear in the other and try and submit them to my control so thus I can suck the energy from them as they submit to me and I win within and as myself as I gain a nice feeling within me when I find that I am more then another by having them submit to me as anger and aggression.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within this anger and perpetuate it with the other as they grow within their ego in desire to be the winner and thus gain good feelings for themselves, so thus create a dangerous and abusive situation for the both of us as common sense analysis in self honesty is not consider and only winning is considered where I compromise myself and diminish myself by separating myself from the other and using them within and as abuse to make myself feel better and more through gaining energy by beating them and getting them to submit by using force as anger. I realize and see this is a complete statement to myself as life as I don't see myself as who I am as one with life and thus actually go and abuse myself as the other as I am only seeing myself within self interest and polarities where I will go so far as to physical hurt myself as the other to be on top and see that I am a winner as I am not accepting myself and in fear of who I am if I do so thus go into anger and gain energy cause it's easier then having to walk the correction and stopping this.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to accept myself as anger as ego in an attempt to be more then another as I go and live out this anger where I will physically form myself to be mean and aggressive toward the other so I can be on top and I can get them to submit in fear, but also not caring to consider the other as me as who we are as life within our walks as our physical processes, but only be within and as self interest to feed on energy and become the best as I seek to gain acceptance from others through being the best over others. I realize and see that anger only diminish me as I am only trying to be more and control others as me here as I realize all here is me, and also I am compromising myself as life by trying to create fear and suffering in another to make me seem more by having the other submit due to this fear as me as a anger demon, and thus completely separate myself here as life as the physical as I have degraded and became less then the energies I am producing as I am creating them and manifesting them as myself onto another because I am not accepting myself and desire to have acceptance outside of myself because I am believing and existing as an ego in separation in desires to be more.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have fear exist within and as me and use it onto others as anger and aggressiveness to be in control as I am in fear of myself as I don't want to see who I am and what I am doing so thus i just continue as is until I am faced with it and can not turn away as this act of ripping the muscle in my neck and having it physical manifest where I am tearing my life force from myself by abusing and degrading the life in another that is equal and one to me based on an illusion I am accepting that is to be greater than for power and control to generate energy that does not last and does not give me any more power or control over anyone, but only cause me to diminish until I cease to exist at death because life is not energy and abuse, life is one and equal. I realize and see that I do not need to live in such a way as abuse and control, but I can exist within and as oneness and equality with all life as I accept life as myself and let go of my ego to be more as I accept myself as who I am as life one and equal with what is here.
When and as this point to go into blame, anger, and the desire to be more, I stop, breath, and state 'I am not separate from this being, I am not my ego' and thus I walk within and as breathing to release all the built up emotion, I walk away until it diminishes, and I do not react in any way until I am stable and live no abuse as myself in any way whatsoever. I walk this until I am stable and no energy movement moves me no matter what is done to me, I realize and see the other is me, and thus only walking their process as I have and am to self realize the same points, we are not our minds as energy, but here as life as physical substance. I walk this until I am here, and I have never again allowed, anger, abuse, control, and any point to be more then another in self interest. I walk to let go of my ego and embrace all as myself in who I am as the other as life and walk solutions, find solutions, and assist others when I have walked the correction so life can and will be lived best for all through my own self will as my physical self correction to stop me as ego.
I commit to stop all points of blame, anger, resentfulness, and control with all points in my world until I have become this and thus am able to direct all point within the solution in what is best for all life.
I commit to walk the correction as breath until I am not moved by any point of outside influence as I have walked it as myself and see that I am the other and thus only showing me to me, so I commit to walk me until I am not moved by any point and thus then direct when I am here stable one and equal.
anger, sister fight, blaming, stupid argument, hurt neck, dog play, ego trips, egos, ego, pain, identifying pains, what is pain, equality, oneness, equal money, desteni, wiki, 2012, eqafe, 7 year journey to nothingness, demon
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Day 11 - D(i)esire to Please
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire to please others in my world so they will have nice feelings about me and like me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use pleasing others to manipulate others to get what I want by doing things that they like in the exchange of them going to have to do something that I want instead of being unconditional with life here in giving unconditionally because within giving you will receive naturally as this is the way of life in equality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to manipulate people by pleasing them so they will seem me in a way I prefer as pleasurable before I go in and tell them something they might not be pleased to hear so thus using the act of giving so I can have my own self interested desires met by giving so I can get as well.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to please others in a way that compromise my own self integrity by submitting as an inferior person to this being and thus deliberately trying to please them so they can see me as nice and accept me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to compromise my self integrity by accepting and allowing myself to diminish myself into polarity play outs of feeling less then and making others more then me when I see and realize there is no such reality as polarities of better/worse as all here is me in oneness and equality, life is here thus we are life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to see life within getting what I want met and I do this through using the act of kindness in ways to manipulate life so I can be pleased in the end.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to compromise myself with a male and go into flattery and pleasing them for them to stay attracted to me and like me so I can remain with him. Thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to manipulate another to stay with me by acting to please within all of the points I know he will like to thus have him see me as cool and want to stay with me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to please my partner in sex even though I necessary did not want to do what they wanted to do, but gave into them so I could just please them for a moment and I could use this as leverage to get what I wanted later.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be calculating within what I do so I can also have the advantage and get what I want using pleasing others to thus get them nice and liking me and then go in and get what I want and desire so I can be happy in the end.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to manipulate others without there knowledge so I can control the situation and always remain on top and get what I want out of the deal.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to go into spitefulness if the other does not get manipulated into doing what I want within the pleasing gesture and thus I don't get to be on top and get what I want so I use spitefulness to justify my anger and harsh words and actions towards them.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to please people to their face but within my backchat call them swear words and judge them as less then me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting secret mind thoughts of abuse towards another and judgment when I realize I am only diminishing me as I am accepting the abuse within the thoughts to exist and the other is me I know this is fact.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be two faced with others and thus not be able to trust myself and others as I assume others are playing this out as well, thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to build my creation here as myself within manipulation and backchat thoughts of abuse and thus then create a kind face so I could be accepted and liked, but really only doing this for my own desires and needs.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to miss myself within others and thus go into survival as only looking out for myself and my interest and abusing others and thus in the end sabotaging myself as I am creating a separation with who I am as others as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to not be unconditional with life here as I realize only in the starting point as equals can we be trustworthy and be in actual peace which I see for myself to live in for all, and thus I realize and see I must stop this point of manipulation through pleasing another and live here within unconditional giving as I see that within the giving I will receive as this is what life is unconditionally giving and thus is always satisfied as all is here in acceptance.
When and as this point of desiring to please another to get what I want comes up, I stop all thoughts and desires to please within manipulation, breath, and let go of all points of separation, accept the others as me and give as I would want for myself. I realize that the true gift of life is within the giving of ourselves unconditionally as this is where we grow and benefit all as well as ourselves as life as to give and not expect anything back as there is no need for the taking as this is the greatest peace as you are in equality and oneness with life and enjoying the living of this by giving of yourself without any need for reward. Life in equality and oneness is the gift of giving and thus to live as a giver of life in all that I do is the greatest gift I can give to another and give to myself as I will have nothing that I need as I will be here among everything.
I commit to stop all desires of pleasing for my own self interest and live here in equality as breath with all life doing what has to be done to create this world best for all here.
I commit to give as I would like for myself and so I stop all points of need from others as I realize all that I will ever need I have here as I walk and birth myself as life.
I commit to walk to life as myself and thus accept all as me and stop all abuse as it comes within me by letting it go as thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and seeing myself within all, living this until I am here as all in the physical as me.
pleasing person, I am to please, I want to please you, manipulate, wanting, desire integrity, flatter, equality, oneness, life, journey to life, 2012, equal money, desteni, process, wiki, eqafe
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use pleasing others to manipulate others to get what I want by doing things that they like in the exchange of them going to have to do something that I want instead of being unconditional with life here in giving unconditionally because within giving you will receive naturally as this is the way of life in equality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to manipulate people by pleasing them so they will seem me in a way I prefer as pleasurable before I go in and tell them something they might not be pleased to hear so thus using the act of giving so I can have my own self interested desires met by giving so I can get as well.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to please others in a way that compromise my own self integrity by submitting as an inferior person to this being and thus deliberately trying to please them so they can see me as nice and accept me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to compromise my self integrity by accepting and allowing myself to diminish myself into polarity play outs of feeling less then and making others more then me when I see and realize there is no such reality as polarities of better/worse as all here is me in oneness and equality, life is here thus we are life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to see life within getting what I want met and I do this through using the act of kindness in ways to manipulate life so I can be pleased in the end.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to compromise myself with a male and go into flattery and pleasing them for them to stay attracted to me and like me so I can remain with him. Thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to manipulate another to stay with me by acting to please within all of the points I know he will like to thus have him see me as cool and want to stay with me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to please my partner in sex even though I necessary did not want to do what they wanted to do, but gave into them so I could just please them for a moment and I could use this as leverage to get what I wanted later.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be calculating within what I do so I can also have the advantage and get what I want using pleasing others to thus get them nice and liking me and then go in and get what I want and desire so I can be happy in the end.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to manipulate others without there knowledge so I can control the situation and always remain on top and get what I want out of the deal.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to go into spitefulness if the other does not get manipulated into doing what I want within the pleasing gesture and thus I don't get to be on top and get what I want so I use spitefulness to justify my anger and harsh words and actions towards them.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to please people to their face but within my backchat call them swear words and judge them as less then me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting secret mind thoughts of abuse towards another and judgment when I realize I am only diminishing me as I am accepting the abuse within the thoughts to exist and the other is me I know this is fact.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be two faced with others and thus not be able to trust myself and others as I assume others are playing this out as well, thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to build my creation here as myself within manipulation and backchat thoughts of abuse and thus then create a kind face so I could be accepted and liked, but really only doing this for my own desires and needs.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to miss myself within others and thus go into survival as only looking out for myself and my interest and abusing others and thus in the end sabotaging myself as I am creating a separation with who I am as others as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to not be unconditional with life here as I realize only in the starting point as equals can we be trustworthy and be in actual peace which I see for myself to live in for all, and thus I realize and see I must stop this point of manipulation through pleasing another and live here within unconditional giving as I see that within the giving I will receive as this is what life is unconditionally giving and thus is always satisfied as all is here in acceptance.
When and as this point of desiring to please another to get what I want comes up, I stop all thoughts and desires to please within manipulation, breath, and let go of all points of separation, accept the others as me and give as I would want for myself. I realize that the true gift of life is within the giving of ourselves unconditionally as this is where we grow and benefit all as well as ourselves as life as to give and not expect anything back as there is no need for the taking as this is the greatest peace as you are in equality and oneness with life and enjoying the living of this by giving of yourself without any need for reward. Life in equality and oneness is the gift of giving and thus to live as a giver of life in all that I do is the greatest gift I can give to another and give to myself as I will have nothing that I need as I will be here among everything.
I commit to stop all desires of pleasing for my own self interest and live here in equality as breath with all life doing what has to be done to create this world best for all here.
I commit to give as I would like for myself and so I stop all points of need from others as I realize all that I will ever need I have here as I walk and birth myself as life.
I commit to walk to life as myself and thus accept all as me and stop all abuse as it comes within me by letting it go as thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and seeing myself within all, living this until I am here as all in the physical as me.
pleasing person, I am to please, I want to please you, manipulate, wanting, desire integrity, flatter, equality, oneness, life, journey to life, 2012, equal money, desteni, process, wiki, eqafe
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Day 10- The Cycle of Desire/Need and Jealousy - Part 2
Self Forgiveness on Defining Myself as Another through and as Ego-
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to define myself by another being in the relationship of seeing myself in comparision to who they are and thus creating a value judgment about the relationship between us within a positive/negative polarity playout.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within polarities as positive/negative playouts to any being within my world as a relationship definition to thus be able to have an expectation where I can gain energy due to the relationship definition I have created to the other being and thus going into the polarity playout of being able to gain energy if they live up to my expectation or not, either way I will be able to have an experience that which I am seeking to define myself by.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to seek out experience to thus define myself by and create more upgraded ideas and beliefs about myself to thus be able to create myself in a more refined way to be better then others and be able to gain good feelings thru my ego being exalted by others as I play the game of the system as win/lose scenario survival relationships.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to seek out these relationships where I am able to have my ego exalted and validated thus trapping another in my ego games as the cycle of positive and negative is lived until it has run it's course and the relationship die or the ego die as the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to create a form of a 'need' in relationship to another being in my world as I have created this relationship definition and thus to know who I am I now need this other as a comparison point in my world so I can create myself from this, this based on the desire to be on the top of the polarity to gain the 'good' or 'positive' feelings and ignoring the balancing act and thus not using common sense that I will thus live out the negative feelings as well which i don't enjoy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist only in the point of ego to gain energy from others in my world as I compete and compare myself through creating relationships of polarities and thus creating a race against myself to keep these feeling flowing as I sabotage myself with another to keep these relationships of energy continuing even though I realize it's sabotaging me and creating outflows of abuse and self diminishment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use my ego as my god to thus be able to go through my life and find the specific points as other beings who will be 'good' candidates to feed this desire I have to be seen by others as special and gain these feelings this create, but within this I am only using life for my own desires to be more then the other life here so I can exalt my ego and feel 'good' about myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that what life is about is competing and having fun and being 'happy' not realizing and being aware that I am creating these fleeting feelings of fun and happiness through my own ideas of what this entails, and thus is always in the starting point of me being the best which is not real as life is not in separation as polarities but here within oneness. I realize and see that being the best within and as my world will cause me to be last as I don't consider the other equal and one to me thus I will lose myself within this cycle as energy runs out and illusion will die when I as the physical die. I realize I can only live as life if I am of life which is physically here within equality and oneness no mind, no ego, no competition.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use others in my world to get energy and thus abuse them to gain feelings for myself based on me not accept myself as the other and thus living within inferiority so thus I balanced out the cycle by existing within superiority, trying to be special, more, better then the other in relation to me because from the starting point I did not accept mysel fas one with life as who I really am anyway.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to compare myself with the others in my world and judge others based on the physical look, based on their intelligence, based on their abilities within physical movements or in any skill we engage in, and thus base my conclusion of the being in relation to me, I will not see the equality, but only see and live out how I can be better or exalt myself when I have seen that I am more within my idea of what is better within the points I just listed or take notes of where I can upgrade to be better.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to hold ideas of what is 'good' and 'bad' in relation to the beings I meet and thus size them up and compare myself and always look for a competition so I can see where i need to upgrade and refine my ego so I can be the winner and stay on top.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within survival and believing that I have to stay on top and be the winner to be liked and seen as acceptable as I hold this on to others and defined them and accepted them based on these terms of living up to my idea of what is acceptable and what is not.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to hold onto a definition of life here in separation as a polarity play out of good/bad to be able to define myself here and survive due to the limits I placed on myself by creating ideas and definitions of life on what is acceptable and what is not instead of realizing and understanding that there is no need to put limitations on our expressions as life and there is no need to be acceptable if one accept themselves equal and one to all life as all here is this in fact so it is recognizing and living the truth of who we are here as one and equal with eachother, that is everything that exists.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to miss the truth of who I am as life by being within the mind as illusions and definitions of ego personality play outs as pictures, ideas, beliefs, and thoughts that I had limited myself to by defining myself by this, so thus I realize to stop this polarity playout I must accept all here as myself and stop separating myself into ideas, beliefs, pictures, and thoughts that come from the mind which I realize is illusion and not real, and live here in breath and just stop participating in these limitations.
When and as this point of defining life and separating myself into good/bad polarity playouts within comparison and competition in my world arises, I stop breath, and push myself to stay within breath, letting go of all forms of mind energy and the energy addiction to gain from the life I am living with, but continue to breath, live in and as the physical, and walk one and equal with the other as me until this is a stable point of understanding in living as I see and realize that competing and comparing myself to other life forms to try and be better is not real as I see and understand as who I am is all that is here, there is no need to compete as I am only competing with myself, and thus be able to build self from this expression in equality to all that exist to thus create a world that is best for all.
I commit myself to stop judging and comparing myself to other beings in my world and forming relationships with them within the starting point of feeding my ego as energy polarity play outs.
I commit to stop separating myself into polarities and walk one and equal by accepting myself for who I am and seeing myself within and as each one I come in contact with and thus I commit to walk this until I am here equal and one as the physical.
I commit to stop comparing myself to others and stop the thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that there is a goal I have to reach, but remain here in the physical in the within practical solution of walking as equals so we can stop the separation of ourselves as I stop this within myself.
I commit to accept me here with all life and stop all separation until it no longer moves me.
I commit to stop the addiction to energy and live here in physical reality as what is real is here in physical reality and who I am is here as physical as my body is made of the source of life as physical living substance, and I walk to equalize myself and align with the physical substance of life that I realize and am aware I am.
Self Forgiveness on Jealousy
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within the energy as emotion of jealousy accepting and allowing this to be real for me as I have separated myself from life and thus created this emotion as jealousy to compensate for the lack and inferiority I feel of myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting jealousy to direct me in moments where I have accepted and created the idea that I need to diminish and take down life around me as I am only seeing through my minds eyes as ego personality competing and thus defining myself by comparisons.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting me to compare and thus go into competition with the life that is here as I realize that I am only competing with my own mind and thus it will only stop when i stop my mind as separations and bring myself here as breath in the physical reality of where life is in fact.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to thus go into jealousy when I believe I have been treated unfairly and thus am not getting treated within a way I expect from another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to take what others do/say/act towards me personally and thus define myself within expectations of who and how beings should act and be towards me so I can have control over what is going to happen.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire control over what is going to happen with the people I am with and thus when it doesn't work out the way I desired I go into jealousy and blame towards others based on me holding onto an idea that I should always get what I want and then blaming someone and becoming resentful towards them based on idea of only having my own self interest in mind when their is a whole world of considerations and to be in ego is just an illusion I am accepting and allowing to limit me into diminishment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to abuse life within creating jealousy when I see another is not doing what I expect of them and thus within my backchat go into demonizing them and degrading them so I can be on top and have myself be the winner, even if it is only in my own mind. Here I realize I am only creating myself as the de-man as I devalued myself as life by separating myself from myself and then blaming another for my own creation and consequence of who I had created myself to be, abdicating responsibility and thus I abdicated my chance at being life in equality as I wouldn't give it to another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to create backchat as ego and jealousy to diminish others in separation because I am not accept myself here and thus not allowing life to live one and equal with what is here as physical. I realize and see to stop this cycle of desire / expectation and jealousy I must breath here and walk within the physical, become physical, and stop my thoughts that manifest the emotions/feelings/ideas/beliefs that separate me from the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to not accept myself here and thus go into ego as wanting control and my desires met and when reality does not match up to this I go into resentfulness and become jealousy towards others, which cause abuse in my thoughts as I desire to take them down and diminish them any way I can.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be possessed by a certain person and thus go into jealousy when any other point come in and take the energy away from me that I was gaining from that relationship and thus go into sabotage mode to sabotage any chance they have with the other as my desire for this person overrides common sense and equality with all as I am existing in survival to continue the energy I am addicted to of my ego being exalted through becoming the best in my world as I see it through my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to sabotage myself based on not accept life here as is and needing validation and praise form others so I can feel good about myself and see that i am ok.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire validation from others as I see myself less then others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to see life more then me and thus go into the energy playout of desiring to be more and thus allowing jealousy to playout as I am competing with everyone around me and having the energy of good feelings as praise become an addiction and when I don't get it I go into jealousy as envy as I see others get it and I want it so I abuse to thus get them on my level and then be able to compete again and have a chance at the good feelings again, only living from my mind as energy consumption as an ego personality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to become addicted to energy as good feelings and thus also become addicted to the polarity of that as bad feelings as they both give me a rush and I have accepted this as myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to limit myself within who I am here within energy rushes and so I see I must stop participating in the energies by getting real, stop existing in polarities in separation, and become humble as the physical as who I am.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to abuse life in separation to try and survive as I have not allowed myself to really live as i am not really living but existing within the mind as energy playouts. I realize I am not energy, life is not energy, and thus I must stop the participation in the energy as the mind as I stop the participation in the mind as I see and realize i ma life and life is eternally here, it's always been here, I have missed it as I have not been here but in my mind in illusional alternate realities I created as ego personalities. I don't accept myself to abuse life in self interest, so I walk in humbleness and slowly disengage my ego and stop the separation of myself as life here in the physical by accepting each and all parts as me step by step, breath by breath.
When and as these points of jealousy and desires for control of another come up, I stop and breath, and let go of the energy addiction, allow it to go through me through breathing continually and stopping the thoughts as they come, walking within acceptance of myself as all here. I stop taking things personally as I realize that we are all walking our processes and I can direct myself to walk in the physical which is equal and one, when I become offended by another I stop and do not allow the emotions of jealousy to be activated and lived out. I walk within and as acceptance of all here as myself and live as an example to show who we really are as life and that we are not limited to the mind as energies as I walk this process out of my mind and birth myself as the physical.
I commit to stop jealousy in all its forms, walk and continue to stop the jealousy within backchat and stop the acting out of it into the act of abusing another.
I stop separating myself into ideas and desires as expectations of others and walk as the physical equal and one to all as all here is me as life, this is how I would want to be treated thus I give this to another as I may receive it as myself.
I commit to stopping the abuse of life as myself as ego in competition and so I commit to accept myself as all life and walk in oneness with all as I realize life is a gift and I have to accept it as myself to live it for real.
I stop seeing myself inferior to life and thus I stop and commit to stop the polarity play out of competition through seeing life in this inferior/superior playout in comparison with me. I commit to stop comparing myself with others breathing here, and walking the correction of equality with all life as myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to define myself by another being in the relationship of seeing myself in comparision to who they are and thus creating a value judgment about the relationship between us within a positive/negative polarity playout.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within polarities as positive/negative playouts to any being within my world as a relationship definition to thus be able to have an expectation where I can gain energy due to the relationship definition I have created to the other being and thus going into the polarity playout of being able to gain energy if they live up to my expectation or not, either way I will be able to have an experience that which I am seeking to define myself by.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to seek out experience to thus define myself by and create more upgraded ideas and beliefs about myself to thus be able to create myself in a more refined way to be better then others and be able to gain good feelings thru my ego being exalted by others as I play the game of the system as win/lose scenario survival relationships.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to seek out these relationships where I am able to have my ego exalted and validated thus trapping another in my ego games as the cycle of positive and negative is lived until it has run it's course and the relationship die or the ego die as the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to create a form of a 'need' in relationship to another being in my world as I have created this relationship definition and thus to know who I am I now need this other as a comparison point in my world so I can create myself from this, this based on the desire to be on the top of the polarity to gain the 'good' or 'positive' feelings and ignoring the balancing act and thus not using common sense that I will thus live out the negative feelings as well which i don't enjoy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist only in the point of ego to gain energy from others in my world as I compete and compare myself through creating relationships of polarities and thus creating a race against myself to keep these feeling flowing as I sabotage myself with another to keep these relationships of energy continuing even though I realize it's sabotaging me and creating outflows of abuse and self diminishment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use my ego as my god to thus be able to go through my life and find the specific points as other beings who will be 'good' candidates to feed this desire I have to be seen by others as special and gain these feelings this create, but within this I am only using life for my own desires to be more then the other life here so I can exalt my ego and feel 'good' about myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that what life is about is competing and having fun and being 'happy' not realizing and being aware that I am creating these fleeting feelings of fun and happiness through my own ideas of what this entails, and thus is always in the starting point of me being the best which is not real as life is not in separation as polarities but here within oneness. I realize and see that being the best within and as my world will cause me to be last as I don't consider the other equal and one to me thus I will lose myself within this cycle as energy runs out and illusion will die when I as the physical die. I realize I can only live as life if I am of life which is physically here within equality and oneness no mind, no ego, no competition.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use others in my world to get energy and thus abuse them to gain feelings for myself based on me not accept myself as the other and thus living within inferiority so thus I balanced out the cycle by existing within superiority, trying to be special, more, better then the other in relation to me because from the starting point I did not accept mysel fas one with life as who I really am anyway.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to compare myself with the others in my world and judge others based on the physical look, based on their intelligence, based on their abilities within physical movements or in any skill we engage in, and thus base my conclusion of the being in relation to me, I will not see the equality, but only see and live out how I can be better or exalt myself when I have seen that I am more within my idea of what is better within the points I just listed or take notes of where I can upgrade to be better.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to hold ideas of what is 'good' and 'bad' in relation to the beings I meet and thus size them up and compare myself and always look for a competition so I can see where i need to upgrade and refine my ego so I can be the winner and stay on top.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within survival and believing that I have to stay on top and be the winner to be liked and seen as acceptable as I hold this on to others and defined them and accepted them based on these terms of living up to my idea of what is acceptable and what is not.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to hold onto a definition of life here in separation as a polarity play out of good/bad to be able to define myself here and survive due to the limits I placed on myself by creating ideas and definitions of life on what is acceptable and what is not instead of realizing and understanding that there is no need to put limitations on our expressions as life and there is no need to be acceptable if one accept themselves equal and one to all life as all here is this in fact so it is recognizing and living the truth of who we are here as one and equal with eachother, that is everything that exists.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to miss the truth of who I am as life by being within the mind as illusions and definitions of ego personality play outs as pictures, ideas, beliefs, and thoughts that I had limited myself to by defining myself by this, so thus I realize to stop this polarity playout I must accept all here as myself and stop separating myself into ideas, beliefs, pictures, and thoughts that come from the mind which I realize is illusion and not real, and live here in breath and just stop participating in these limitations.
When and as this point of defining life and separating myself into good/bad polarity playouts within comparison and competition in my world arises, I stop breath, and push myself to stay within breath, letting go of all forms of mind energy and the energy addiction to gain from the life I am living with, but continue to breath, live in and as the physical, and walk one and equal with the other as me until this is a stable point of understanding in living as I see and realize that competing and comparing myself to other life forms to try and be better is not real as I see and understand as who I am is all that is here, there is no need to compete as I am only competing with myself, and thus be able to build self from this expression in equality to all that exist to thus create a world that is best for all.
I commit myself to stop judging and comparing myself to other beings in my world and forming relationships with them within the starting point of feeding my ego as energy polarity play outs.
I commit to stop separating myself into polarities and walk one and equal by accepting myself for who I am and seeing myself within and as each one I come in contact with and thus I commit to walk this until I am here equal and one as the physical.
I commit to stop comparing myself to others and stop the thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that there is a goal I have to reach, but remain here in the physical in the within practical solution of walking as equals so we can stop the separation of ourselves as I stop this within myself.
I commit to accept me here with all life and stop all separation until it no longer moves me.
I commit to stop the addiction to energy and live here in physical reality as what is real is here in physical reality and who I am is here as physical as my body is made of the source of life as physical living substance, and I walk to equalize myself and align with the physical substance of life that I realize and am aware I am.
Self Forgiveness on Jealousy
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within the energy as emotion of jealousy accepting and allowing this to be real for me as I have separated myself from life and thus created this emotion as jealousy to compensate for the lack and inferiority I feel of myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting jealousy to direct me in moments where I have accepted and created the idea that I need to diminish and take down life around me as I am only seeing through my minds eyes as ego personality competing and thus defining myself by comparisons.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting me to compare and thus go into competition with the life that is here as I realize that I am only competing with my own mind and thus it will only stop when i stop my mind as separations and bring myself here as breath in the physical reality of where life is in fact.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to thus go into jealousy when I believe I have been treated unfairly and thus am not getting treated within a way I expect from another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to take what others do/say/act towards me personally and thus define myself within expectations of who and how beings should act and be towards me so I can have control over what is going to happen.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire control over what is going to happen with the people I am with and thus when it doesn't work out the way I desired I go into jealousy and blame towards others based on me holding onto an idea that I should always get what I want and then blaming someone and becoming resentful towards them based on idea of only having my own self interest in mind when their is a whole world of considerations and to be in ego is just an illusion I am accepting and allowing to limit me into diminishment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to abuse life within creating jealousy when I see another is not doing what I expect of them and thus within my backchat go into demonizing them and degrading them so I can be on top and have myself be the winner, even if it is only in my own mind. Here I realize I am only creating myself as the de-man as I devalued myself as life by separating myself from myself and then blaming another for my own creation and consequence of who I had created myself to be, abdicating responsibility and thus I abdicated my chance at being life in equality as I wouldn't give it to another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to create backchat as ego and jealousy to diminish others in separation because I am not accept myself here and thus not allowing life to live one and equal with what is here as physical. I realize and see to stop this cycle of desire / expectation and jealousy I must breath here and walk within the physical, become physical, and stop my thoughts that manifest the emotions/feelings/ideas/beliefs that separate me from the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to not accept myself here and thus go into ego as wanting control and my desires met and when reality does not match up to this I go into resentfulness and become jealousy towards others, which cause abuse in my thoughts as I desire to take them down and diminish them any way I can.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be possessed by a certain person and thus go into jealousy when any other point come in and take the energy away from me that I was gaining from that relationship and thus go into sabotage mode to sabotage any chance they have with the other as my desire for this person overrides common sense and equality with all as I am existing in survival to continue the energy I am addicted to of my ego being exalted through becoming the best in my world as I see it through my mind.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to sabotage myself based on not accept life here as is and needing validation and praise form others so I can feel good about myself and see that i am ok.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire validation from others as I see myself less then others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to see life more then me and thus go into the energy playout of desiring to be more and thus allowing jealousy to playout as I am competing with everyone around me and having the energy of good feelings as praise become an addiction and when I don't get it I go into jealousy as envy as I see others get it and I want it so I abuse to thus get them on my level and then be able to compete again and have a chance at the good feelings again, only living from my mind as energy consumption as an ego personality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to become addicted to energy as good feelings and thus also become addicted to the polarity of that as bad feelings as they both give me a rush and I have accepted this as myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to limit myself within who I am here within energy rushes and so I see I must stop participating in the energies by getting real, stop existing in polarities in separation, and become humble as the physical as who I am.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to abuse life in separation to try and survive as I have not allowed myself to really live as i am not really living but existing within the mind as energy playouts. I realize I am not energy, life is not energy, and thus I must stop the participation in the energy as the mind as I stop the participation in the mind as I see and realize i ma life and life is eternally here, it's always been here, I have missed it as I have not been here but in my mind in illusional alternate realities I created as ego personalities. I don't accept myself to abuse life in self interest, so I walk in humbleness and slowly disengage my ego and stop the separation of myself as life here in the physical by accepting each and all parts as me step by step, breath by breath.
When and as these points of jealousy and desires for control of another come up, I stop and breath, and let go of the energy addiction, allow it to go through me through breathing continually and stopping the thoughts as they come, walking within acceptance of myself as all here. I stop taking things personally as I realize that we are all walking our processes and I can direct myself to walk in the physical which is equal and one, when I become offended by another I stop and do not allow the emotions of jealousy to be activated and lived out. I walk within and as acceptance of all here as myself and live as an example to show who we really are as life and that we are not limited to the mind as energies as I walk this process out of my mind and birth myself as the physical.
I commit to stop jealousy in all its forms, walk and continue to stop the jealousy within backchat and stop the acting out of it into the act of abusing another.
I stop separating myself into ideas and desires as expectations of others and walk as the physical equal and one to all as all here is me as life, this is how I would want to be treated thus I give this to another as I may receive it as myself.
I commit to stopping the abuse of life as myself as ego in competition and so I commit to accept myself as all life and walk in oneness with all as I realize life is a gift and I have to accept it as myself to live it for real.
I stop seeing myself inferior to life and thus I stop and commit to stop the polarity play out of competition through seeing life in this inferior/superior playout in comparison with me. I commit to stop comparing myself with others breathing here, and walking the correction of equality with all life as myself.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Day 8- Allowing Distractions
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to go into my mind as a distraction to not have to apply myself here within my living in task that I desire not to due as I don't want to put in the effort to see them through til the end.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to become distracted when I am about to write a blog or do a vlog where i go tool around on facebook or in forums, so I don't have to focus myself and get the work that is set in front of me to complete as I desire to get lost in my mind within all the interesting things I see online to entrain me so I don't have to move and actually push myself to work.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be entertained through outlets on the Internet so I don't have to walk out the points within self honesty and self forgiveness as I as my mind don't desire to look or go there as it will take time to walk the points out and get them written down on paper.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that I have the option to just putz around on the internet as i have free choice to do whatever it is that I want to do when in reality I am defining each and every moment of my life in terms of who I will be and stand as in the face of this world and life when it comes to that point.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting laziness as a point of a way out and escape from having to put effort in and complete task that take time, patience's, and self will to complete as if I am not having any kind of consequence that I will have to face and that I can just do this because I just don't want to move completely abdicating my responsibility to myself and not only to myself but all those who don't have a voice and are suffering so I realize there is no choice but only for me and me as this world to stop the mind bs and stand up and get this process done.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a point of heaviness within me as resistance within my physical as I feel weighed down from these points that I am accepting within my mind as task that I am defining as too annoying and too much work instead of stopping the laziness, stopping the resistances, and just getting to work completing the writing and staying here within breath walking myself to life as I realize I am not limited to my mind and resistances I am much more then this mind boundaries, I as life am boundless cause I am here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to define myself by this feeling as being weighed down within the desire to not have to push myself and stop because I have created a belief that I just can't do it, I can't move past these resistances, I am just too tired to get this done.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the thoughts as beliefs that 'I just can't do it, I can't move past this resistance, I am just too tired to get it done' as I realize these are but beliefs that exist within the mind to stop me from moving myself so thus the mind as consciousness is able to have full control of my physical for energy to keep it alive, where I as the principle of my physical as life can and will direct myself into always stopping all points of resistances and beliefs within me as i see and realize these beliefs and resistances where placed within self so thus to keep self enslaved to stay inferior to the mind so the mind can stay alive as CONciousness.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to enslave myself through a mind system as consciousness within accepting and allowing thoughts, emotions, and feelings to direct me instead of me here directing myself as physical life in equality with myself as all life in the best possible livelihood for all here as I would want the best for me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to limit myself within accepting and allowing to go into distractions so thus I can stop these feelings as resistances and have a nice feeling again by being entertained and not having to move or push myself, but be contained and feeling good through the impulse of images that I can scan through and be stimulated by through thoughts, ideas, and desires.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to instead of using my time here effectively within going on the internet and learning, expanding, and applying myself within anything that I read, write, or move through, I waste my time in thoughts about celebrities or stories that have no relevance to changing this world to a solution that is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to waste my time here on points within this world that are not supportive and effectively directed to support a world that is best for all life, I realize and see that life is waiting essentially for humanity to take this one opportunity to walk this process to life and become equal with all and stop the atrocities we have inflicted on all walks of life in the quest for energy as an ego personality to be more.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to go into points of ego within and as me as I desire to have myself be more then another instead of realizing this, stopping, and changing so I stand equal and one to life instead of in separation, I must walk this in fact to live it by disengaging my ego and living here in practical reality as physical life as me here in breath.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that I have time to waste as this life is so long when in fact this is a point of abdication within assumptions and illusions that I know when I will die and that I have time to waste as it will take many breaths to see this point of equality and oneness lived for all in fact equal to me, so thus I stop wasting my time and stop the delusion that I have time to waste as life deserve for me to put my all into this process as I see this is what I would want if I was in there shoes, those who have no voice.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to abdicate my responsibility to life in distractions and resistances within desires to do my own thing once in a while instead of getting real, stopping self interest, and walking my process in each moment stopping the patterns as ego personalities.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting desires to direct me here and miss me as the creator of my world and thus to change this starting point to be responsible for my creation I have to change my living to align within the physical, I realize no one else will walk this for me, this a fact. I am responsible to change me
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Self Correction:
When and as this point of distraction comes up, I take a DEEP BREATH, and stop all thoughts, desires, and resistances from taking over, I move myself within whatever the point is and walk it to it's completion, I apply this until I no more have distractions or resistances to do anything on my regular responsibility list and simply do what is necessary to be done so to create what is best for all until life is here in equality.
I commit to stopping distractions on the computer and in life, and thus align myself to manage my time effectively by allowing myself time to relax for a moment during my day, but I stop all points of taking advantage of this point. Walk the responsibilities at hand and thus become an effective system as life walking life for what is best for all in whatever comes my way.
I commit to stopping ego as desires to do something else, gain energy as good feelings, and follow temptation of gossip, and stand here disengage the desires and thoughts to gossip and gain energy, and walk whatever I see is practical to get myself back to here, to process, and to align myself with what is real as my physical in my movement when these thoughts or desires come up.
distractions, I am distracted, how to distract myself, bored, lonely, facebook, equal money, living, effective living, vlog, entertain self,desteni, wiki, eqafe, 2012, 7 year journey to nothingness, journey to life
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to become distracted when I am about to write a blog or do a vlog where i go tool around on facebook or in forums, so I don't have to focus myself and get the work that is set in front of me to complete as I desire to get lost in my mind within all the interesting things I see online to entrain me so I don't have to move and actually push myself to work.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be entertained through outlets on the Internet so I don't have to walk out the points within self honesty and self forgiveness as I as my mind don't desire to look or go there as it will take time to walk the points out and get them written down on paper.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that I have the option to just putz around on the internet as i have free choice to do whatever it is that I want to do when in reality I am defining each and every moment of my life in terms of who I will be and stand as in the face of this world and life when it comes to that point.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting laziness as a point of a way out and escape from having to put effort in and complete task that take time, patience's, and self will to complete as if I am not having any kind of consequence that I will have to face and that I can just do this because I just don't want to move completely abdicating my responsibility to myself and not only to myself but all those who don't have a voice and are suffering so I realize there is no choice but only for me and me as this world to stop the mind bs and stand up and get this process done.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a point of heaviness within me as resistance within my physical as I feel weighed down from these points that I am accepting within my mind as task that I am defining as too annoying and too much work instead of stopping the laziness, stopping the resistances, and just getting to work completing the writing and staying here within breath walking myself to life as I realize I am not limited to my mind and resistances I am much more then this mind boundaries, I as life am boundless cause I am here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to define myself by this feeling as being weighed down within the desire to not have to push myself and stop because I have created a belief that I just can't do it, I can't move past these resistances, I am just too tired to get this done.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the thoughts as beliefs that 'I just can't do it, I can't move past this resistance, I am just too tired to get it done' as I realize these are but beliefs that exist within the mind to stop me from moving myself so thus the mind as consciousness is able to have full control of my physical for energy to keep it alive, where I as the principle of my physical as life can and will direct myself into always stopping all points of resistances and beliefs within me as i see and realize these beliefs and resistances where placed within self so thus to keep self enslaved to stay inferior to the mind so the mind can stay alive as CONciousness.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to enslave myself through a mind system as consciousness within accepting and allowing thoughts, emotions, and feelings to direct me instead of me here directing myself as physical life in equality with myself as all life in the best possible livelihood for all here as I would want the best for me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to limit myself within accepting and allowing to go into distractions so thus I can stop these feelings as resistances and have a nice feeling again by being entertained and not having to move or push myself, but be contained and feeling good through the impulse of images that I can scan through and be stimulated by through thoughts, ideas, and desires.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to instead of using my time here effectively within going on the internet and learning, expanding, and applying myself within anything that I read, write, or move through, I waste my time in thoughts about celebrities or stories that have no relevance to changing this world to a solution that is best for all.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to waste my time here on points within this world that are not supportive and effectively directed to support a world that is best for all life, I realize and see that life is waiting essentially for humanity to take this one opportunity to walk this process to life and become equal with all and stop the atrocities we have inflicted on all walks of life in the quest for energy as an ego personality to be more.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to go into points of ego within and as me as I desire to have myself be more then another instead of realizing this, stopping, and changing so I stand equal and one to life instead of in separation, I must walk this in fact to live it by disengaging my ego and living here in practical reality as physical life as me here in breath.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that I have time to waste as this life is so long when in fact this is a point of abdication within assumptions and illusions that I know when I will die and that I have time to waste as it will take many breaths to see this point of equality and oneness lived for all in fact equal to me, so thus I stop wasting my time and stop the delusion that I have time to waste as life deserve for me to put my all into this process as I see this is what I would want if I was in there shoes, those who have no voice.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to abdicate my responsibility to life in distractions and resistances within desires to do my own thing once in a while instead of getting real, stopping self interest, and walking my process in each moment stopping the patterns as ego personalities.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting desires to direct me here and miss me as the creator of my world and thus to change this starting point to be responsible for my creation I have to change my living to align within the physical, I realize no one else will walk this for me, this a fact. I am responsible to change me
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Self Correction:
When and as this point of distraction comes up, I take a DEEP BREATH, and stop all thoughts, desires, and resistances from taking over, I move myself within whatever the point is and walk it to it's completion, I apply this until I no more have distractions or resistances to do anything on my regular responsibility list and simply do what is necessary to be done so to create what is best for all until life is here in equality.
I commit to stopping distractions on the computer and in life, and thus align myself to manage my time effectively by allowing myself time to relax for a moment during my day, but I stop all points of taking advantage of this point. Walk the responsibilities at hand and thus become an effective system as life walking life for what is best for all in whatever comes my way.
I commit to stopping ego as desires to do something else, gain energy as good feelings, and follow temptation of gossip, and stand here disengage the desires and thoughts to gossip and gain energy, and walk whatever I see is practical to get myself back to here, to process, and to align myself with what is real as my physical in my movement when these thoughts or desires come up.
distractions, I am distracted, how to distract myself, bored, lonely, facebook, equal money, living, effective living, vlog, entertain self,desteni, wiki, eqafe, 2012, 7 year journey to nothingness, journey to life
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