A Lady's Journey to Life: September 2014

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Living Self Courage – Trust in Self – Day 430

So I am finding more and more this ‘trusting in my self’ to be a true statement. I often want to put trust into others and create a hope that things will turn out well and turn out the way I desired, but 9 out of 10 times it simply doesn’t. I find the most efficient and opportunistic method forward has been moving through resistances and putting trust within myself that I will be able to walk in the moment here and face and direct whatever comes. As I realize and most I am sure can relate, we have no effect on what is to come, we can not predict the future, so creating and building this trust with myself stand’s as a foundation for how I will and am able to move within my living reality in each and every moment I will face which is key to live beyond my fears and what I believe I can't do. I have found though that it’s an actual will to move meaning it doesn't come automatic with nice feelings and entertainment because of the patterns of self sabotage that i have existed within for so much of my life. Facing one’s fears and moving through resistance has not yet gotten easy, it requires self discipline and self determination to move through, but I have found and what helps ease a bit the motion of this movement that has to be done is the expansion that comes out of making the effort.

Here again the future can’t be predicted so one has to be ready for anything and accepting whatever comes is another tool that I have found supports to continue to progress within the action of living self courage. This is a process I have found, a learning process that can not be thought up in the mind, like the mind always makes reality into something that is glittery and glammed up or very scary and treacherous, but in actuality it is sometimes really great and sometimes really not, but all in all it is unpredictable and very interesting to say the least. Usually I have found when applying this point of facing fears and moving through resistances, it is never how I had thought it would be, and I am usually surprised at what comes out of the moments I push within. Always there is a gift for me that emerges, and usually in the form of expanding myself and or supporting others to do the same.

And always the journey continues and th challenges continue, but I have learned what matters within the time i am living in these moments is who am I going to be? And this is the most enjoyable part, I can decided in each moment who I am, no one can tell or make me be a specific way, I have my own will to do and live how I want to live. So it's important you live in a way you will be proud of and support others within because we are all here together, and it's our responsibility to bring about what is best for all. If you look in self honesty, you will see the direction that is needed to be walked.

Though for the point of this blog, i have found to live self trust I have to apply and continue to commit myself to live self courage and push through my fears by applying the tools of self forgiveness, self correction, and breathing in the moment, and never giving up, no matter what, always keep walking and doing my best and supporting others to do the same. Before you know it you are where you believed you would never be, you live the apparent impossible, and so expand yourself in to new heights through your own self will, and that is truly inspiring.

Will continue in my next blog. Thanks.

Interview Support on the topic of self courage:

You Will Never Let Go - Quantum Mind Self Awareness
Can't Let Go: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 229
Can't Let Go: Transform Your Memories - Atlanteans - Part 230
Can't Let Go: Giving Up - Atlanteans - Part 231
Can't Let Go: Traumatic Memories - Atlanteans - Part 232
Can't Let Go: One-Dimensional Memories - Atlanteans - Part 233

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Living Self Courage - Moving through Resistances – Day 429

Yesterday I had a work event where I had to face my fears and move through resistances that were intense and very familiar. This initially started in the morning before I was set to go to the event, when I am getting ready, I would look in the mirror and see within myself that I am not looking good enough. I will then start to participate in thoughts and feelings of anxiety and dread about the day where I am going to be feeling ‘ugly’ the whole day. Now this feeling is something I have been living with for a long time, this coming from many times and patterned behaviors from the past where I have accepted and allowed myself to compare and in my mind analyze myself in comparison to others in why I am worse or better.

So going to this event all the same patterns started to emerge, where I was dreading walking out the door because within me I had already failed, I was already seeing myself as a failure based on not being able to compete and live up to this illusion of an expectation I have been creating in my mind that I have to look perfect to then be able to present myself as perfect, though this perfection doesn’t in fact exist. There is no one on the planet that is able to live up to the expectation I have morphed and changed and sculpted within my mind to be this perfect picture, it simply is illusionary and absolutely insane that I am allowing this point to have so much power over me. I realize though through support form eqafe that the mind is using these moments where I give in and give up within myself to take over and keep generating these thoughts and emotions for me to believe this is real, this is who I am so the mind within my physical body can generate energy and continue existing as it does in full control.

Though, thankfully I have supportive partner who helped me walk through the door and get me to the event where we needed to be at that moment. I again at the booth started to see these thoughts and the feelings were coming up of dread and feeling like I am a failure, but again I kept getting supportive words from those around me and this helped. I then saw this fear and I was looking at it and within me seeing that it is so strong and so big, I don’t know how I am going to be able to walk and do this, and stop participating in these thoughts and feelings. Though the only way to my freedom from these feelings and thoughts continuing to haunt me is for me to in real time stop them, breath, forgive myself, and stand within myself as a life force able and willing to move beyond my fears, and live self courage.

This the courage and living of never giving up or giving into to these thoughts and feelings of diminishment no matter what I face is an act of perseverance to push through and make this world a better place. So as life is here always to be faced as self, I then got put into the situation that I was fearing where I had to speak to the people walking by because there was no one else who could. So I started speaking. And again I started speaking, and then again, and by the fourth or fifth time I was feeling like my ‘normal’ self again, I found my words and I was actually pretty surprised at my ability to speak to others and find ways to explain the product in the moment.

My point to the blog is that in order to move through our fears and our beliefs about ourselves of self compromise like I have with this fear of people and believing I am not good enough for this, I realized that this resistance has to be walked through, the fears have to be walked through and faced in the moment, and I have to change in the moment, I have to move myself to change this belief about myself and prove that I can become more. Otherwise there is no other way to the success I want for myself in selling my product or the success to making the world a better place. I have to face these things and within this the gift had emerged where I was able to see my potential in action in real time as I shared myself and moved myself to support my business in the opportunities presented and I created to do so. I also am grateful for these people in my life who support me when I need it and are there for me when I am not there for myself.

Self forgiveness to come as I will walk more in the next blog on this point of letting go of fear and walking through resistances. Thanks.

If you want to support yourself and this world to be a better place,

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Interview Support:

You Will Never Let Go - Quantum Mind Self Awareness
Can't Let Go: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 229
Can't Let Go: Transform Your Memories - Atlanteans - Part 230
Can't Let Go: Giving Up - Atlanteans - Part 231

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Living Self Courage – Forgiving the Fear of My Mind – Day 428

Artist: Andrew Gable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become afraid of my own thoughts I am thinking and react in shame based on the context of the thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others will judge me for the thoughts that I think.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my own mind and the thoughts that I think, realize, seeing, and understanding that the thoughts are not who I really am and I have the power to stop them, but I can not deny them as I am the one participating in them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my mind as demented and become ashamed at how I have been existing within my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to become shameful for what goes on in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am alone within how I am experiencing my mind and that I am bad for thinking in such ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that there is something wrong with me for the way in which I think about my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mind determines and defines who I am and that within my belief about myself, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that I am less then others because of the way in which I have judged my own mind as bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within my own mind in a way where I fear certain parts of it and believe that I can’t move beyond these fears and mind points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t move beyond my limitations I have believed to be true as me having something wrong with me and that I can’t move beyond this belief of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive this relationship of having something wrong with me based on the way in which my external body looks and memories I have held onto of me as real to define who I am in this moment here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my self when I say in my mind that I am less then others and that looks matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is based on the belief that I am a less then capable being and that I am not good enough to make it out of my mind and into physical living here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist looking and facing my mind because I knew I would have to face instances that would make me uncomfortable and question myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is based on the beliefs I hold about myself in my mind rather then questioning these beliefs and seeing who I in fact am within my physical living in this moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking about my judgments I have about myself for fear of being weakened in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can become weakened in the physical based on sharing myself in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others and so create the belief that some are weak and some are strong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mind is more powerful then me and I can’t walk and let go of my fears when I realize it takes only my self will, I can decide in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being misunderstood and so judged harshly for this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged in anyway by others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t yet accepted and allowed myself to see that I am the only one judging myself and so holding myself in these judgments until I release myself and stop judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto these judgments so I don’t have to face these fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto judgments so I can continue to get happy energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to have energy to feel good.

When and as I see I am going into a point of judging my mind and going into resistances to look at a point or points within what is coming up in moments within my mind, I stop and breath, and realize that going into resistance is only disempowering me to do anything about the thoughts and or my mind patterns coming up, and so I realize I have to accept myself as my mind, look at it in common sense and self honesty, and stop taking it personal.

I commit myself to stop fear and see directly what is here through breathing and slowing down in the moment to expand myself within what is here.

I commit myself to breath and let go of all resistances to look and investigate my mind and what is coming up within it.

I commit myself to breath and let go any point of judgment or comparison I have towards my mind or my world as I realize this is disempowering me to change.

I commit myself to face my mind in every moment it comes up and move myself to walk the change that is necessary to align with life and live what is best for all.

Interview Support on the Blog Topic I recommend:
Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153