Saturday, April 21, 2012

Day 7- The Seeking of Praise from Others

Today I got an email from youtube, and I get these emails all the time saying you have a message, 99% of the time they are a video promotion or some sort of multi user send out. I got one oh these messages that said 'sup', so I went ahead and checked out the email. It stated in message, 'I really like your latest video.....' within readings these words I got a reaction of excitement, this pattern of reacting to be liked or seen as 'good' is the point I will apply self forgiveness on as it comes up allot where I seek to be liked and am boosted in my ego when I am liked by others openly.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire to be liked by others because within myself I am not liking myself and thus seeking for assurance and acceptance within a separation of myself, which i realize and see I will never find and be satisfied as I am missing myself here, and thus will stay searching  until I accept myself here and am satisfied with self just being here and breathing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to see myself as someone who needs recognition and accolades from others to show that I did a good job or that I am  effective to accept my work as acceptable, when I realize and see that this will only cause inhibition within myself as I am not really walking points for me, but I am walking points to get the praise from other people.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire to get praise from others to show that I am acceptable and good at what I am doing and thus then decide whether I will continue or not based on the praise I got from it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting this desire to be liked and praised to direct me into seeking if others like my stuff, if I got hits on my videos, and thus based on my findings go into a feeling. I realize and see that using this feedback to make myself feel good and thus causing the polarity effect which will always occur as they feed each other and that I am not always going to be praised thus causing a depression state which I see and understand is unnecessary if I just walk here and stop feelings.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be within ego in desiring to get praise so I can see myself as special and great when i am only living into this cycle of lostness as I see when I direct myself form this starting point of trying to gain a feeling I will never be stable or ever be at peace. I realize and see that through using my skills and being effective within what I do, using the feedback given in a constructive way, and thus not taking what I am getting as feedback personally allows me to not be swayed by these feelings of trying to be more then others, but accept myself as others and walk as equals doing what has to be done in practically for what is best for all not to gain energy for my ego.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire to compete with others to be seen as better within what I do so I can attain this good feeling through praise so I can be happy for a moment. I realize and see that this happiness is not real as it is coming from a point outside me and doesn't last more then a few moments. I realize to live happiness is to be happy within my living and thus include all life as supported and equal with me, thus then we can live happy as we have created happiness as a living experience for all, this is real....feelings are mind generated through polarities and separating  me from life here to believe that I have to be more then another to be happy as the winner, the best, but this is not real as I am not one with all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to miss myself with life as I go and search for this happy feeling as being praised or being seen as good, and within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my starting point to be from a perspective of trying to gain this praise so I can be seen as great and thus be able to get these good feelings that I desired to get through making my stuff better then others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to separate myself from what I do here in the quest to gain a feeling and thus miss myself as life living and the opportunity to really live here in breath as equals as one with and as life as myself in self perfection in living.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting competition within my world due to the fact that I am existing as ego and desiring to be more then others so I can gain praise from others which then enforces this cycle of looking for good feelings, looking for praise, looking for acceptance, instead of being good within and as myself, being praise and giving myself praise within and as what I do, and accepting myself for who and how I am and thus coming from a starting point of self as equal and one within who I am here as life. Living from here as life instead of mind chasing feelings that will always be fleeting because they can never last as mind is energy and energy never lasts, life is here in equality and oneness and only thus needs to be aligned with equal to and one with self; life I see is unlimited as it is everything that exist.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to chase a feeling as desire which I realize is never real while life is here and thus require self direction, missing myself to really live and direct myself, by deliberating becoming lost to chase a feeling that is based on me not accepting myself for who I am and living in self interest to feel nice, which is self abdication and unacceptable.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be in self interest due to desires of nice feeling while life is dying here and thus missing the opportunity to direct myself to be effective to stand equal and one as the solution as life in equality in all ways which is the solution. I realize and see I must stop ego as mind patterns and stop self interest.

My Self Correction:

When and as this point of desiring praise or coming from a starting point to be better to gain praise and acceptance, I stop and breath and do not accept myself to go into the thoughts and thus then the living of this starting point of separating me into ego as competition. I breath and realize and walk that I am here as life and thus I do not need a point of reference as praise or acceptance as a feeling being generated within me, but I can live from self here as I accept all and thus always be this state of acceptance and thus support thru who I am as I give it to others and thus I live this equal within my world. I also see I will have to accept all points of myself and realize that I must walk the change to correct these points that are not aligned with life as I see that life is here and what is for real, mind as energy is just a point of desire to be more and seen as special which will never last.

I commit myself to stop all thoughts, words, and deeds within the starting point of gaining praise or good feelings. I stop creating myself from this starting point and commit to stop the self interest desires to be more as I realize it is separation.

I commit myself to accept myself here within as who I am in this moment and thus realize that I am here walking a process that will take many steps to live in perfection within this realization I commit to stop the self judgments and the competition as I disengage my ego, and live from a starting point of self equality with all that live here in breath.

ego, praise, seeking good feelings, youtube, video, equality, oneness, desteni, eqafe, wiki 2012,

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