My Journey to Life: overwhelmed

Monday, August 26, 2013

How to Stop the Too-Muchness Delay - Day 340

Here I am looking at a point that came up when my feet started to feel swelled, like there was air in them and a lot of pressure. I looked at them and they were not swelled in terms of physically, but had the feeling that they were inflated. So I looked at this point within my life, and I saw this point of swelling and specifically the feet as a point of trying to walk too much stuff at once and thus become spread out committing to too many things and so not being as effective as I could if I was doing less and had more focus and time to dedicated to less amounts of commitments. Stopping the point of spreading myself to thin and trying to walk too many things at one time, hence the inflated feet feeling.

Within this obviously I have to look at priorities, I have to make money and live in this world, so my jobs and remaining stable within this is the first commitment priority I must continue to walk. The other commitments I am walking I are becoming more and more as I commit to more and more, but I find that I am not becoming very effective within the one's I have already committed to and currently walking. I will as a solution drop some lower priority things I do like leisure time things as well as stop committing to things altogether until I am satisfied with walking effective in everything I am committing to currently.

Another point I will walk self forgiveness on is wasting time and not staying focused during the times I set to do the responsibilities like writing or studying I have allotted for myself to do, and so get distracted with other stuff, entertainment stuff, and not push myself through the resistance to just do nothing. This has come up often in my process, and I am finding staying consistent day by day, each and every day is the challenge I am facing and need to transcend. Walking through points I really do not want to do, but must do to stay on track of things and do the best I am able to, and really I am able to do these things, I have time and ability, it's just I go into desire and want to rest or relax. And now my rest/relax ration is unbalanced and I am lagging in my responsibilities and my effectiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stay committed to the process of consistency and commitment of my decision to walk this process as myself in self change and taking responsibility for myself to it's fullest, and so becoming ineffective to the best of my ability in the tasks I am doing because I am not putting my best effort in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I put a little effort in that no one will notice and see, and so it's fine to just do it once in a while, when I know within myself I am being dishonest and can do more, be more, and have more of an effect to support the message of oneness and equality and doing what is best for all life in all the mediums.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and feed resistances with thoughts such as 'i will do it later' and 'i am so tired, i can just do it some other time' and 'i really don't feel like doing it now, let me just watch/do/go here first' and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as my mind to direct me into self compromise willingly and with my understanding, and so give into self interest and compromise to be just a robot operating on impulse rather then my directive action in what I will as a life being for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to thoughts such as 'i will do it later' and 'i am so tired, i can just do it some other time' and 'i really don't feel like doing it now, let me just watch/do/go here first', and allow these thoughts which I realize are not real in terms of what I direct as my own self will in what is best direct me into living in resistances and not getting what i realize I can get done done, and so compromise my self effectiveness and the effect that I can have to help create change within myself and so within this world, as within so without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into resistance so I can have my self interests met, and not have to push myself and do the work that I resist doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist moving physically in what needs to be done as my part, and so become a hindrance in my own self application when I realize I can do more and be more by not accepting myself to fall and feed resistances when they come up as they are not real but the mind feeding me to stay as a controlled source rather then I walk my own self control and directive principle.

When and as I see i am going into resistances and avoiding doing my responsibilities, I stop and breath, and realize this is the mind trap in which I allow myself to remain stuck in ineffectiveness instead of pushing myself through my resistances and expanding myself in my living and what I can do.

When and as i see I am desiring to go into my self interest and just get distracted by entertainment, I stop and breath, as I realize this is a waste of time and will lead to me being less then what I could be if I pushed through, and I realize who I want to be is a person that pushes through and lives extraordinary as how Bernard taught me, I am life and so I must live this for this to be real, and so I realize I must actually live and become equal and one with the physical as this is life and actually live as how the physical lives, consistent, constant, and in what is best for all one and equal.

I commit myself to write out for each day my priorities to work through and give myself a list to follow as a guide to see what needs to be done, and thus I commit myself to walk this list to make sure they get done.

I commit myself to breath and move myself immediately when a point opens up to walk.

I commit myself to move myself through resistances and do what I can do each day to the best of my ability.

Other Blogs to Follow:
Creation's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Economist's Journey to Life
Activist's Journey to Life

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Check out FREE Downloads of Supportive Interviews to Help You Walk this Journey to LIfe, Enjoy!

Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 1
Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 2
Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 3
Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 4
Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 5

The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Introduction
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Self Image and Imagination- Part 1
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Self Image and Imagination- Practical Support - Part 2
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Comparing Images and Imagination- Part 3
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Comparing Images and Imagination- Practical Support - Part 4
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Positive Self-Image Relationship - Part 5

Relationship Success Support - Connection Personality
Relationship Success Support - Introduction
Relationship Success Support - Intimacy Personality (Part 1)
Relationship Success Support - Intimacy Personality (Part 2)
Relationship Success Support - Intimacy Personality - Part 3
Relationship Success Support - Intimacy Personality - Part 4

Monday, May 27, 2013

Day 310 – Feeling Off

Tonight I don’t have anything coming up in terms of a topic to write about, I am in limbo at the moment as I feel a bit overwhelmed with new information coming out and looking at how to understand and integrate this new information into me as I have never heard of it yet in my life. I find a few interesting things that come up when I am faced with this situation or experience within me as this happens quite often of hearing something new for the first time and not knowing what I will make of it.

One, I find I will go into this pattern of waiting to figure it out, like I will not dive in and investigate, read, research what it is that is new to learn, but will slowly read it and look at it to find out more of what it is about. I see that I do this so I can see others examples of how others will understand it and can come to an understanding through that. I find I get overwhelmed with a lot of information at once, and need to hear it or read it through little parts over time. I am not judging this method of study and way I go about this, but I see it as not being the most effective. There is a form of fear of not being able to handle what I am learning, not getting it right the first time, and thus steering others in the wrong path and being made to look foolish for doing this. So still in a self interest starting point, which I am noticing more and more as I walk my process, how much I am in ego and self interest, but it’s cool because I am starting to recognize it more and more, and thus will eventually through the writing have the tools to stop it and change it in one moment as I see it.

But in terms of leadership and this belief that I will not be able to make it, be effective, get everything I am suppose to get, because usually I don’t understand what’s being said in a whole manner initially, I bet not many do, but I have been judging myself for this. Like I am missing something all the time and to a point this is true because obviously I have a lot to learn about the research on the mind and how to walk through it through the process, but this also has this point of not pushing myself as much as I could in researching, and allowing the point to just sit and do it more on a leisurly basis.

It’s like I am still holding back in my process of becoming a self leader, I am making progress I see with my vlogging where I am able to voice myself and just speak without any thought, which is pretty cool. But am still having a hard time in physical communications with people, so still walking the points I have written out on self judgment and facing and changing this in my reality. When I am not living in my fullest potential it shows within self, you can feel it and it’s not a pleasant experience, so will investigate these points in later blogs and continue walking my process to self stability.