A Lady's Journey to Life: May 2016

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Acceptance: Giving Self Back to Self - Day 509

In honor of my friend and fellow process walker, as she

journeys on to a new beginning, I will continue to hold her here within

me as how she stood and lived as an example of strength, perseverance, steadfastness, kindness, and gentleness to continue on in my journey until it is done.

Thank you Cathy Kraft for all you have done to support me, you are loved and will be missed.

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Acceptance for me has been quite a process of mental strain, I have been figuring out how to accept myself, after all the points I have faced, all the mistakes, all the judgments, and all that is not my best, how can I possible accept myself and actually mean it. What I realized is that it’s got nothing to do with the words or phrases swirling around the word of acceptance such as ‘how can I’ or ‘am I able to’, but simply living the word acceptance, accepting who I am in this moment period.

So I want to redefine and open up the word acceptance because it’s a powerful word and has supported me within my process of accepting myself as I have for many years been insecure and doubtful of who I could become and accepting myself in a way that is satisfying. I didn’t understand that what my mind was bringing up about me was more in relation to ideas, beliefs, projections, illusions in fact that I have created through thinking, and I was misinterpreting living this word as acceptance based on what was coming up in my mind, trying to live up to that to be accepted rather then being here and actually physically living the word in what is here as me in each breath. For example, I can’t deny who I am in this moment, that which I am weak in and that which I am strong in. What the mind wants to do is make the weak something to be resisted and suppressed and only focus on the strengths, though doing this I deny the actual reality of who I am and so shut me out or limit me from actually understanding what those weakness are and creating ways to strengthen them.

So living the word acceptance is merely an action of accepting all of who I am in this moment here, not denying any part of myself, so I can stand equal to all the information and understand who I am within it. This also one has to take the personal out of it, take the positive and negative charges out of the information that one is seeing, such as a destructive thinking pattern of seeing myself as ‘not good enough to succeed’ for instance. Accepting that this thinking pattern is actually happening within me, not making it as if it is true and thus absolute, but that it is a part of me at the moment, but I can always change. I am not limited nor stuck in absolutes of what I am existing as in any given moment, if I don’t resist myself within it, but accept it for what it is.

Resisting is a cool flag point as well for this point of moving through what is here as self that one is not seeing supportive, cause if you resist it, you will tend to shove it away, not wanting to look at it, and thus again deny that which is actually in reality existing within you, a unsupportive pattern. Though if resistence happens then one will loop in the pattern over and over again because one is not actually facing it, accepting the responsibility that it is self as it is existing within self and self is living it out, and the pattern will continue to persist because it is a part of who one is and how one has created themselves. We can not ever run away from who we are, this is impossible as we have actually physically created it over time, we walked the steps to have the unsupportive pattern exist within self as it is, and so with living the word acceptance, one can embrace the pattern that is unsupportive, and walk the correction process to change.

Acceptance is the act of starting the process of self responsibility for who one is and if one moves self into the understanding phase of the change needed, and then living the corrective change, then the pattern that one was once resisting is now becoming a point of transcendence. So the point of this first blog on this word is that acceptance is required of self in all actions to walk the process of self change, and the key to self change is when one take responsibility for self within what one is accepting and change to be the best one can be to live in their highest potential.

I am not promoting nor saying that acceptance is just a point of accept what one is and then just living into it and not changing, no that is self dishonesty, change is required in this process either of strengthen one’s weakness or supporting others to do the same. Living this word acceptance in such a way is supportive to stop emotionally reacting to who self is in the good and bad of self, and walk what is necessary in full openness and humbleness to be able to see what is necessary and understand how to walk the self change to what is best for all.

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Friday, May 13, 2016

What I have Learned - Day 508

Find more art Here by Andrew Gable

I have learned a lot about myself and about what I am capable of through walking this process of living in a way that is best for all, not that I am always living in this way, but that I am creating myself and that I am a plus one always to find solutions for myself to be best and for this world to be best. Why am i capable of this because i have proven to myself that I can live this through changing addictions, thought patterns, releasing energy holds, find solutions to problems, expanding my world beyond my limits, challenging myself beyond my fears, and getting through once impossibility to becoming proficient and stable within the action. I do like walking this process, I like the challenge of it, and I like to realize my own perseverance within what it takes to walk this, through the mind layers and the worst of myself. I have never in a million years thought I would ever be where I am today, yet I am not yet even close to the true potential that exist within me, and furthermore where I am now within myself seems much more real and substantial then I have ever been.

What I have realized through walking self forgiveness, self investigation, self commitment to change, and integrating through practicing the living change in is that this is a process that will take everything one has to birth as life, and in the end of it, it will have been worth every drop of suffering, I can’t hardly speak to the unfathomable untapped potential that exist within and as human beings on this earth today. We are living a minuscule percent of who we really are, and what we are capable of as equal and one to the life source that has created all of this physical existence, we are the creators equal and one in fact. We are it, equal and one, we are life forever. I heard this saying shared by bob marley the other day where, he was discussing money and was asked how much riches he had? He said what is rich? I am life forever. And I mean in fact this is for real, though one can only access life here in the physical and only can become equal and one here in this physical existence to be an individualized life being, so that is why it’s imperative to start walking process now. It seems like ‘come on, what, we are living life, we are cool, life is great’, but if you really look inside yourself you know we are not living life. You will see misery, fear, anxiety, worry, desires to be more, rich, free, and never able to really truly feel comfortable and safe. Yes, some have all the riches materially, but they are not free, they are bound equal and one to the outcome of this existence and if one is enslaved we all are enslaved. Having these emotions and ups and downs of life within our very selves is not stability, is not grounded, is not what is best.

Self responsibility is a process to understand and realize the best of ourselves, it is the furthest thing one wants to look at when waking up and realizing what one has done in this life, causing massive amounts of harm and abuse – if one looks at your thoughts, they are of abuse, twisted, and sick, this is not to judged because it’s programmed, we have been programmed by external sources as we have abdicated ourselves to others as god, as the government, as leaders, as celebrity, the list goes on, though we eqaully have the capability to re-program or create ourselves into the best versions of ourselves. This is all a direct ability within each one, and desteni supports with this creation of self and the tools to see it through. We are equal and one responsible for who each one has created themselves to be here, this is a fect. Meaning in the afterlife you will face all of yourself, so there is no escape. So it’s to understand self within one’s mind, walk the process of self change at desteni.org that many are walking, and stand up for solutions that are best for all.

One of the greatest tools I can part with you here and has supported me throughout my process thus far has been perseverance, I have made it my duty, challenge, and joy to walk and understand myself as my mind and so change myself into life and do what is best for all. I see the potential in myself and the life that is here as all, and the beauty and magnificence that this vision holds of a life of all living their utmost potential has been motivating and supporting me throughout my journey to life by living this word perseverance.

How I lived this word was first I committed myself to never give up, even if I fall, even if I am ready or on the brink of giving up, I breath and move through the storm because there is always a calm, and I continue on. I find ways of understanding, I ask questions, I do research, I observe myself and others, I test points and see what I find, I make mistakes and learn a lot, I become humble and realize I must change, I bear the grit of the pain, I breath through the emotions, and I appreciate the position I am in as a life walker, someone who has the potential to birth as life and be a solution for the world that is to come heaven on earth. I never ever ever give up on myself and I am learning now how to never ever give up on others who are me in fact. So this never giving up is expanding into more and more of my world as I expand more and more into the world.

We all have this potential within us, to be our best in our potential, each one realizes this point and must make the decision to walk this for themselves – no one can make this decision but self. Though realize, there is always support, always solution, and a community of life here that is waiting, willing, and able to assist and support you as I have been assisted and supported and how I have assisted and supported myself. So everything is here to be able to walk this process, one just has to simply start and realize if you never give up, you will make it, that is key that we never give up on ourselves and so life here in what is best for all. Perseverance is the engine that moves you through it all, it’s quite a process, but can be an enjoyable one based on perspective. Enjoy and thanks for reading.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

“Don’t Fuck with Me” Character and Solution – Day 507

Photo Source

This character I go into quite often when I am with people, I have created a relationship with people of fear and hostility based on the belief that they are out to harm me and abuse me. Though through walking my process and self investigating myself I realized that I am actually thinking this up in my mind and so creating it in my reality because I am the creator of myself and thus my reality. We are powerful beings, though we are not in control of this power as of yet due to how I accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility of myself and of my life to stand equal and one with what is here and live what is best for all. So here walking the correction process to change pattern by pattern, point by point.

What is creating this character of “don’t fuck with me” is a strong desire of self importance believing to be some sort of advanced being and within the people around me and whom I interact with on a daily basis are beings who are so harsh and troublesome thus not as advanced. What I have abdicated myself to not see, realize, and thus change is the way in which I am thinking and creating my reality as I am equal and one to the outflows of what I am experiencing within myself and thus my world. I am not becoming disciplined enough within my breath by breath awareness to change myself when these patterns come up with the thoughts of how ‘bad’ others are, how ‘ignorant’, how ‘disrespectful’, and within this creating this world and reality coming from my mind projection and superimposing it into the reality I am living within. This creating the character personality of “don’t fuck with me” as a defense mechanism, so I don’t have to look at myself, my own mind thoughts, my own behavior, and change within these moments to stand within what is best for all.

Here living words I will be continue to support myself with and expand within it’s understanding and expression as I progress, so I can go into a form of self expression that is here, present, and not consisting of energy or thoughts, but living words as expressions that are supportive of life.

So some self forgiveness on this pattern of “don’t fuck with me”:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self exultation of myself in relation to those around me believing I am more advanced and more sophisticated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how my thoughts go to judging others as less then me and how within this I am diminishing the other in my mind to become more then and so become the winner in my own mind, not seeing, realizing, or understanding that this is only diminishing myself as I go into a form of suppression of who I am being and thus become limited within my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my thoughts as judgments direct me in my reality in relation to others not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am only defining myself and thus within this opportunity I can change and create myself within living words that are supportive of others and of life in general.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hostile to others in my environment based on creating a scenario where they are being harmful and judgmental towards me not seeing, realizing, and understanding that within my backchat I am judging them and thinking about them lacking, and thus I am resonating and thus creating the hostility I am experiencing as this is who I am in thought, word, and deed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality suit of the “don’t fuck with me” character, so I don’t have to face the truth of myself, which is someone who is causing harm and separation within myself and thus causing harm and separation within my reality as what is within self is equally being created in the without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within my expression as not good enough or not strong enough to face reality here and so go into a defense mechanism of “don’t fuck with me” character to not have to face my reality and who I have created to be in fear of people and not see, realize, and understand that I am creating this fear that it in fact is not real as it’s energy and it moves away once dissipated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become suppressed within myself in not wanting to face or change the hidden parts of myself that I don’t like and want to push away such as the lack I feel within my expression, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that pushing this lack emotion away I am pushing the opportunity to face it, understand it, and change it for myself so I can realize my strengths and strengthen my weaknesses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face my mind real time and allow it to fester and sit while I continue to suppress the reality of myself as separating myself from my responsibility to change myself and stand within the face of my self in my reality to support with solutions and create them for myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to abdicate responsibility to others in my reality and blame them for the way I am experiencing myself within turmoil, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I can change myself and so change the outcome of myself within my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others and so judge myself and thus separate myself from life here in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so overwhelmed within myself about what is here and what I have to change, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that this is an experience I can change and live moment to moment, direct myself into specificity and efficiency, and taking it point by point.

When and as I see myself going into the “don’t fuck with me” character, I stop and breath, and change myself self into taking self responsibility for my mind and my thoughts, stopping them through breath, and living words that’ll support with stability. I realize I am creating harm and separation in my reality when in this personality suit where I could be creating stability and solutions that are best for all.

I commit myself to live the word care where I care for myself within stopping the judgment of myself. Stopping the thoughts of being hard on myself. Stop the attacks of myself and others in my mind as less then or not living correctly.

I commit myself to stand within a gentleness where I move slow and softly within my physical body, like a flow or breeze moving within the rhythm of my breath as I move out of the energy and into my physical stability as my body.

I commit myself to let go of the thoughts by focusing on my physical movements and moving myself in my body, grounding the energy through my breath into my feet and into the earth.

I commit myself to live the words equality and oneness as physical reality were all are physical manifestations and we are all equal within this, where no two are separate but expressing in our own expressions.

I commit myself to create my expression within and as physical activities such as art or music and walk self forgiveness and self correction to the thoughts that come up until I am clear.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

"Spoiled Child" Character and Solution - Day 506

Photo Source

I am starting a business series and facing points that come up when I am in business settings and relationships.

First point I am going to write on is the fear of failing as the first fear that comes up and triggers when I see, realize, and understand that a point in my life is not working or something happened that is challenging. The fear moves through my whole body and becomes like a fire that is raging through me and I need some sort of outlet to release it or it feels like I may explode. This sort of like a spoiled child who doesn't yet know how to deal with the environment stimulus they are experiencing and the relationships within that environment, they scream and yell and become destructive, not a good scene all around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear when I hear that something in the business is going bad or is creating a challenge to be faced in real time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go to the worst case scenario without seeing, realizing, or considering the outflows and solutions that can be created even in the worst of cases as I see, realize, and understand there is always solutions if one stay motivated, driven, and creative to find them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in this fear and accept and allow the thoughts to move through me that the business is going to lose money or we are going to lose customers or we are not going to be able to stay in business, and fear the livelihood and survival of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the survival of myself within my mind through fear being triggered instead of taking a breath, a step back, slowing down, and realizing that there is a grounding needed by myself to see the situation clearly and get all the facts to then be able to create a solution or support with this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush into assumptions about what the facts are and listen to my mind telling me what the facts are before I have even taken a breath and looked and considered the whole situation or occurrence before making any decision or movement on the matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what has occurred based on thoughts going on in my mind in reaction to the initial thoughts of the business going down, and thus blame them through my words and actions of calling them out and chastising them for events that are not related and thus are not necessarily any fault of theirs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become like a spoiled child who should be listened too and considered and able to just release all my emotions so I am feeling clear and better, not considering or taking responsibility for the outflows my actions and behaviors have on others in my environment and how I am creating more of a destructive environment rather then a supportive expansive one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to news in energy and emotion rather then breathing, slowing down, and assessing the information in a calm manner that is supportive for the problem, the solution, the people involved, and for my own self responsibility to become a leader in what is best for all rather then a dictator who is tyrannical and nasty.

When and as I see I am going into this rush of fear when I move from a shock experience of something happening in my environment, I stop and breath and realize that at this time I need to take a step back, ground myself in my body through breath, slow down, look and understand all the facts involved, and assess what changes/solutions are needed to correct the point and make changes that will support what is best for all.

I commit myself to live the word slow down and breath when the shock comes of an event that is challenging and/or difficult in my life.

I commit myself to fact find before I take any course of action within the matter.

I commit myself to stand as a support and example for others to understand the mistake made and find solutions to correct the mistake and circumvent it happening again.

I commit myself to use common sense in business matters and do what is best for all within my dealings with business matters, business relationships, and business solutions.