My Journey to Life: poor

Showing posts with label poor. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 5, 2024

what is the point - day 8

what is the point

what is the point to anything that's done

why do the things done have to have a point

is the point to make a whole lot of money

is the point to win big and show off your honey

is the point to become star and reap the rewards of the rich and famous

or is it to be

here free

where self is the start and the end

where there is life from the center rippling out to the eternal

i know this is who i am, time to live it to become it again

Friday, October 4, 2013

Pompous Me - Money Makes Me Powerful – Day 348

Please check out post below for reference on this Self Forgiveness:

Pompous Me – The Elite Within – Part 1 – Day 347

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief of myself in relation to the clerk as being inferior to me due to the fact that I created a self belief of myself that I am more then him because I have the ability to buy things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief of myself and those who look or appear or spend money, that these people are worth more then those who don’t spend money, don’t look like they have money, or don’t appear to have any money, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge other people based on my perceptional image I have created in my mind of what someone with money looks like and what someone without money looks like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a split within myself within my interactions with others as decent and rude through changing my behavior whether someone looks and acts as if they have money and those who don't.

And from there I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become superior to those that I see appear to not have as much money as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief that those who have money are more worthy of life then those who don’t based on an inner energy of confidence when around those who don’t have or look like they don’t have money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from this false sense of confidence from an energy feeling of feeling superior to others who don’t look or act like myself, I go into a point of rudeness or kindness if it suits me and my self interest, disregarding the other completely as I see them as not as important to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat another human being as kind or rudely based on the feelings I get within me and thus act on these feelings as if they are real, when in reality I am abusing others thorugh only considering myself and not considering the other equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be more important then any life form due to a false sense of security through having money, but realizing that money is not a safety net, this world is not safe, as I creating the fear through judgment of money attainability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never fully become aware and understand the person who does not have money, what there life is like, what they go through on a day to day basis having no money or having to struggle to survive, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus not consider or care about my responsibility and participation within the way the other person/animal/nature is effected based on the way the system is operating where people have to survive through attaining money when it is not given equally to all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a protection shield that is through attaining and hoarding money and from there create a feeling of being happy and being superior to others because I have blinded myself from the reality that I am not superior nor am particularly happy as how can one be happy when others suffer in this world, using ignorance as a form of bliss is an illusion and unacceptable in this world where lives are being effected in horrific and horrendous ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nothing for the other person/animal/insect/nature/environment who has to struggle to survive because I desire to feel special and more then others where within this acceptance and allowance creates a lack within an other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish and not share myself and all that is here as earth’s resources equally among all and within this I forgive myself that I have created a judgment of others who have no money or appear to have no money and not do anything to alleviate their suffering through the principles that are obvious and common sense if I put myself in the other person who has nothing and is sufferings shoes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money is not to be given freely to all and that I should have as much as possible as this will allow me to continue my desires to be special and feel good about myself as being superior to others because I have more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider or accept that if I have more then enough of what I need, then I am taking from others there share that should be given to them so they can also live comfortably and have enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe because of my family generations and bloodlines that I am superior to others on this planet because we have been shielded from suffering by accumulating wealth as a fortress of protection but in reality what is fact is that I am an abuser and a taker of life that I have no right and no regard to take, life is equally here among all and thus I realize all have a right to equally be able to live and not have to struggle to survive or die because they don’t have enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because my family has accumulated wealth then that means that I am special, and important, more so then others who do not have this linage and money availability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurt and abuse others in words, actions, and/or thought because I have accepted myself to be and live as if I am better then any other life form on this planet through the protection I perceive I have through having money availability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe because I have money available that I can do whatever I want and get whatever I want because I have the money to buy it and thus power through money availability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my money availability to become more powerful then others and desires this power as I can have control over others and have them do what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I have money that means I have power to do whatever I see fit not realizing and seeing that there is laws here within the physical that are to be recognized and aligned with as this is what gives me life, the laws of the physical as life, and so by denying the laws of life as equality and oneness to all that exist through taking more then my equal share, I am no longer aligned with life and thus face unnecessary consequence that will not benefit me as life as I am creating this conflict within my own decisions by not aligning with life as balance in the laws that create this balance as equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be more powerful then others and control others by using money in this manner to get what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider, see, or realize that this mentality of getting whatever I want and doing whatever I want because I have the protection of having money to do and get things with, that I have disregarded the consequences of my actions as only considering myself and my needs, I do not consider the other billions of life forms on this planet living with me who have the same needs as myself and so abuse deliberately through accepting and allowing self interest as desire over the laws that govern life as the physical equality and oneness with all that live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money my definer of life instead of realizing I am already life and so create the solutions or be a part of creating the solutions necessary to allow all to have equal opportunity to a life that is best for all and share the gifts of life here equally for all.

When and as I see I go into a point of definition outside myself through any material possession or idea and/or belief I have created about myself in separation with others, I stop and breath, and realize that this is creating a split between myself and others and so creating conflict within myself and abuse with others. I realize that this is creating the abuse in this world and that what needs to be lived is the laws of the physical which is life within oneness and equality in what is best for all anything less then this is an illusion and is based in self interest, and should be corrected through the process of self honesty and stopped as soon as possible.

I commit myself to live the laws of the physical through correcting myself as life and aligning with all others as life in oneness and equality in what is best.

I commit myself to stop defining myself by money and others by money, and see life here as the physical and I commit to walk the practical steps to support others in the best way possible.

I commit myself to investigate when I go into a point of definition or belief or idea of myself when I see an energy has moved me and direct it into the physical by stopping it and directing myself in what will be best.

I commit myself to see money as a tool to have society move and work towards a solution to create a living income for all to the eventual implementation of an equality system that will facilitate the processes and systems to create life here for all worthwhile.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Pompous Me – The Elite Within – Part 1 – Day 347

Recently a point has come up of reacting to another in rudeness. I want to investigate what triggered the point of going into a change within myself of being fine one moment and the next being rude and deliberate towards another. I was checking out at the counter and the store clerk recognized me, I had a broken card that he told me the last time I should get fixed and then this time I gave him the card, he looked at me and laughed. In the moment we met eyes, I was possessed with the energy of anger and irritation. I see here the trigger point was a thought as I was giving him the card that ‘he is going to say the same thing about the card’ and the energy that came with that thought was the same energy that I had the first time he spoke to me to get a new card, and it was for him to mind his own business and I will get a new card if I want to. So anger and turning into a rage because I was offended that this guy was trying to tell me how to do things, getting involved in my life when he doesn’t belong, and another belief I held within that moment is that he should just shut up and do his job, and within this belief there was an energy of superiority, like I am buying from him so he has to respect me, I have the power, I have the money.

Within this scenario, this is a pattern I have lived often times in my life, superiority through intimidation and manipulation to get what I want and to make myself feel better about myself. When I am told what to do or how to do thing I react extensively because I have prided myself in knowing and being able to do many things very well. I have this belief about myself that I am indeed superior to others in skill and so I, if I see it appropriate, can demand respect from others because I deserve it. And with this attitude of superiority with my beliefs that I am more skilled then others and so this garners me a certain respect, I treat others as if they should know this and adhere to these unknown knows about ME – Special ME. So I will then treat others rudely or not in consideration of who they as equal and one to me, and so abuse them in ways as in this case with rudeness and a pompous attitude and believe myself to be justified.

But I am fooling myself as I am really making all of this up in my mind, I am creating a whole point of justification for me to gain some good feelings about myself because I was able to make faces and become nasty towards another, intimidate them, to gain a point of self interest for myself because he has no right to say anything to me. In the moment before I handed the card to the clerk, I already decided within myself that I was going to react nasty to him if he said anything about the broken card, he was going to get it so to speak because I am better then him, I am the buyer and he is the seller, I have money and he doesn’t, and this is the elitist personality I have allowed and accepted for most of my life, defining myself by money, what I have, and so believing that who I am is defined by this and this makes me better, more skilled, smarter, and more deserving of life here then others who don’t have this. I am the money maker, the superior one and the clerk is the lower, he has to make the money and make me happy cause I am paying him to.

And so I abused and intimated this person, well I tried at least, through my face and through my body language to make it clear what I thought of him, and that he has no say in who I am and what I do because plain and simple, I am more powerful then him because in my mind I have a lot of money (which I don’t!) and he is just a store clerk, I make assumptions that he has no money and so he is a loser, and he will not tell me, the winner, the superior one, the one with the ability to buy life, what to do.

Man, I mean this mentality is what cause the slavery in this world, this elitist pompous attitude I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within is creating the way of life of death and suffering on this earth. Because I want to be special, I want to be more then another, and really I want to have power over others to make me feel worthy, in control, and have an idea of myself that I am special because I gain a sense of self worth, an energy movement of power and specialness, but none of it is real, none of it is worthwhile, and it's perpetuating the state of man as barbaric malicious beings on this planet. And so all this is showing me is my own chains, what I am tied to as beliefs, energy, emotions, and abuse, and so who I am within this life, an abuser of life not worthy to have the life that is given to me unconditionally. And so with this continuing within my living, the elitist-pompous personality, I am rejecting those showing me to myself through the belief that I don’t have to listen, I am too great, too special, and to important to have to listen to reality, to life, to my self here everywhere I look and so rejecting my opportunity to really live life, be life, and create peace through equality and oneness in this world, which is the greatest shame of self as the human race.

More to come with self application, thanks for reading.

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Sunday, May 19, 2013

Day 304 – Self Judgment – Comparison Memory Breakdown – Money – “My money is better then your money”

Check out this blog for reference of this portion below:
Day 299 – Self Judgment – Comparisons – Money Memories

“when I got my first car, I identified it with the brand as jeep and saw that I am in a cool car as this is an expensive brand and car, so I can been seen as elite, more worthy, and high class with this symbol as the car I drove as someone who has money even though I hardly had money, but wanted to give off the impression to others that I had money cause i associated money with acceptability.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the brand of something with the idea of myself as someone acceptable and cool because I could essentially afford this car because I was driving around in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that who I am is an idea in my head as someone driving a nice car and thus get an energy attachment as feeling more important then others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach this idea in my head as a picture of driving a nice car to me as being superior and important, and thus desire this through getting these nice cars so I can feel important and superior in these cars over those who have cheap cars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others based on what cars we drive and thus induce a point of polarity of better/worse based on the idea in my mind of what the symbol represents to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base who I am on what I have as symbols and brands and thus separate myself from others and abuse life based on this idea that I am cooler then others because I have the right symbols.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge symbols as cars in this case to see where I stand, and thus I forgive myself to define myself by external things searching for who I am, when I realize I am here in my body and can define who I am based on my living in equality with others not in polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be more then others based on not seeingmyself worthy for having cars that are not this and judging them and me as not as good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and others as not good if they have a car that is not expensive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see people based on the things around them, what they have, and not here within equal consideration of myself in seeing them as a person living here and not defined by anything or any idea.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and compare life to be more then others and fuel my ego of feeling superior.

When and as I see myself go into this point of defining and judging what people have and what I have in stuff, I stop and breath, and realize that this only create a point of self compromise and separation with me and the life around me because I am not seeing clearly but only seeing where I can win. I realize this create abuse and me to live within polarities which is not equal.

I commit myself to let go of the comparison and judgments of what is here as stuff and push to practically see what is here and what it will be bested used for.

I commit myself to let go of my mind ideas as what is good and what is bad through desire and walk the point of the physical purpose, it’s use, and if it will function correctly at the time of use.

I commit myself to embrace others as well as embrace me and accept self for who ia m as how I live and stop defining due to a desire to be more.

I commit to walk my ego into correction as equalizing it and stop the point of mind control in seeing life in self interest.

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Day 303 – Self Judgment – Comparison Memory Breakdown – Money – ‘We are NOT shopping there’

Check out this blog for reference of this portion below:
Day 299 – Self Judgment – Comparisons – Money Memories

“shopping at ames and bradleys which were stores that were cheaper in price and my sisters use to make fun of my mom for going there, and so I from that perspective saw it as a cheap and like not cool place to shop, so saw us as ‘low-class’ for shopping at these places for clothes and thus didn’t want to be associated with the name of these stores nor buying clothes from them and wearing them around my friends in more the older childhood like 5th-6th grade on.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare the clothes we wear based on the store it was bought from and the name brand, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seewhere people buy things is a status of who they are as either high class or low class.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself wanting only to be associated with the high class stores and clothes because within me it gives me a sense of importance and status over others because I could afford those clothes, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only define myself and others based on the symbols of the clothes they wear and thus create an idea in my mindabout them based on my idea of the symbols I have created within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself within this idea of symbols and that some symbols are better then others, and thus from this idea judge others and treat others in how I judged these symbols.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea in my mind of symbols being better then other symbols based on believing what the media said such as this makes you more important and higher status cause you are able to earn the money to get these things, and thus you are more important and valuable then those that can’t afford such symbols.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this idea that symbols represent life and who someone is, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who a person is is based on what symbols they buy and what I judge as who they are as inferior or superior to me based on the symbols they can afford.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself and believe that those who are able to buy certain things are more valuable because they have more money and thus were able to get that money, and those who can’t get those symbols aren’t worth as much because they are not good at getting money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my relationship with others based on my perceived definitions of value based on symbols that one wear, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another and treat another any differently then I would want for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed symbols to direct me into separating and compromising myequality with others believing this is real, when in fact these are not real, but made up, and what matters is not what the symbol represent as the being, but what it’s purposes in creating life in the best way possible is as I realize what is valuable and thus equal within all is the life that live, and thus this is the only value that is real and thus should be honored and respected within all and thus given equal support for all to have the support all need to live in dignity as this is what I would want for myself.

When and as I see myself go into any point of judgment of a symbol on any point of the physical and judge it as more or less based on ideas within myself, I stop and breath, and realize that this is a programmed behavior of status desires to be more and thus I see, realize, and understand I am compromising my self integrity by judging others in any way as more or less then me.

I commit myself to investigate all symbols I judge as bad or good, and thus purify them through self forgiveness, self correction, and living the correction in my world.

I commit myself to breath through all judgments and release the memory of energy as being superior or inferior until I am stable within it and can direct myself in equality with the physical.

I commit to support all life here regardless of any point of difference of physical picture/image, and treat others as I would like to be treated always.

I commit to breath through the desire to judge and release the energy through my feet and into the earth to practice stability in these moments of energy activation, such as when I see a symbol and react to it.

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Thursday, May 16, 2013

Day 302 – Self Judgment – Comparison Memory Breakdown – Money – “I am more rich then you’

Check out this blog for reference of this portion below:
Day 299 – Self Judgment – Comparisons – Money Memories

“we always got on weekends and in summer like treats, ice cream, mcdonalds, and things that cost ‘money’, and so I would see myself as better and more worthy then these particular friends I hung out with, who hardly ever got these types of ‘treats’, but desired it, it’s not that they couldn’t afford it but just didn’t get it a lot, and I equated this to them having less money then us, so judged us as better cause we got treats and they didn’t.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate treats and things I desired in my childhood with money and seeing if we got this in our lives the treats, entertainment, shiny gadgets, then we were better and more worthy then those that didn’t get it such in this instance with this memory our friends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare what we had with others and determine within the material accumulation of stuff they had and I had as we are more then them or less then them and base how I will treat them and treat myself and see them and see myself base don this point of comparison asinferior = they have more accumulation or superior = we had more accumulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto this memory when around these friends and gain an energy of satisfaction as supremacy towards them where I see that we are better, had more fun, and thus had a better experiences then them, and thus see me and my family/crew as privileged or better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become egotistical in seeing within myself as more then others and treating others as less then me in my behavior towards them because I held onto this memory of what we had as more and they had less, and thus they are less well off and not so great.

Interesting here within walking out this self forgiveness to this memory, which I haven’t ever really looked at or faced, and seeing the absolute illusionary and rather infantile assumptions, assessments, and actions of separation and elitism that was playing out and still to this day I see I exist in these patterns. This due to a comparison of material possessions and judging myself according to that comparison as more or less to others, when this in no way define's who we are in reality here, as we are all equal in fact as we are all life. Fascinating what we define ourselves from and how limiting it really is with out any awareness on a real level of what we are actually doing day in and day out, we just live into it as if it is who we are, when this is a very limited and brutal form of who we are as we are seeing playout everywhere in this world as conflict and absolute suffering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself and others within the relationship I fostered with them to be about separation and illusion as ego within trying to be more then others and gain a more heightened state of importance within myself due to this judgment of others and myself in what we have, but really compromising the opportunity and potential I have here to walk in equality with others and live in ways that will bring this about in our living realities in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a judgment and comparisons based on material possessions and the accumulation of stuff, and thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize the self within all that is here and the reality of the reasons things are here not to serve the ego, but to serve and thus be honored equally within all as life in all it’s forms.

When and as I see that I am going into a point of judging another through comparison of what they have and how much stuff there is there, I stop and breath, and realize that this way of living will only create a point of self compromise as I will miss the reality of what is here and the opportunity for equality, and thus seek and live into ego and thus the separation of myself as life and live within conflict and abuse.

I commit myself to move through this memory in letting it go as a point of learning to see that comparison and judgment lead not to what is best, but compromise.

I commit myself to accept all within my environment in all forms and means, and realize we are all equal here as the flesh and thus walk the self integrity of who I am as life within this realization and living within my world.

I commit myself to walk the equal money system research and spreading of the message so we can create an equal, fair, and balance platform for all goods and services to be honored and respected within sustenance and understanding that we are all one.

I commit to let go of my ego when it arise to be more as I let go of the desire to get more, I move into living within what is here and what will support me in each moment to walk my process and become effective within what I am doing and my purpose in this world as I direct myself within and as.

I commit myself to stop all judgment and comparison of others and breath through the energy to judge as I put myself in there shoes and realize that we are equal and continue to walk this until I am it as my living expression.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Day 301 – Self Judgment – Comparison Memory Breakdown – ‘nice cars’

Check out this blog for reference of this portion below:
Day 299 – Self Judgment – Comparisons – Money Memories

“my cousins always got really cool nice cars, like the new fancy ones, that I desired for us to have, we always had the old used cars and never anything fancy and new. If we did get one fairly new, it was always a year or two old. I resented my parents for this because they didn’t really care to pay that much for a car, and I wanted one that was new and cool to impress others and show that we had a lot of money.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I was and the people around me and who I interacted with in my environment based on what they had, specifically within this Memory based on what car they had.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the car with the symbol of wealth and status of a person, and one that I have defined as new and cool through the symbol representation on the car, I define the person in this same definition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then define and treat the other within the limitationthat I had defined them within as a polarity within myself as either inferior to me or superior to me based on what symbol they rode around in and I had to compete with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of awe with people that had really high status symbols of cars such as mercedes or bmw and thus see these people as more then me, and thus imagine how awesome there life was and how lame mine was cause I was not able to have the money to buy all these nice things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an imagination within my mind about peoples lives based on the material things they had and thus see them as a point of awe and desire to be like them if they had an expensive and high status symbol car or if they had a less expensive and run down, less status car, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others based on what someone drove around in as if this defines a totality of a being and in fact has any relevance to who they are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then create resentment and anger towards my parents because they always bought cars where I could not impress those who I desired to be and thus be around as the more wealthier people, and thus created this point judgment towards my parents because I wanted money to make me happier and buy things I desired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make life about money and what I could buy as I was addicted to becoming entertained and did not care about much but this.

When and as I see myself go into a point of Comparison and desire for a certain symbol or brand of something, I stop and breath, and realize that I am access a point of ego and self interest, and this is a flag point for me to stop my participation in what I am doing, and check myself to see my starting point. And thus I realize I have to change myself and my starting point to stand for what is best for all and what is real, and stop all the mind points of comparison, judgment, and desire as these are not real and cause separation with the life that is here equal to me.

I commit myself to when I see I go into a point of desire for a material thing, breath and focus on the point of the physical, what I am accepting and change in that moment to live what is best for all involved.

I commit myself to walk the point of seeing the physical for what it is and living within common sense and simplistically in what it is I require to live until an equal money system has been created where life and the system of life is fair and equal for all.

I commit myself to let go of the memories of desires for nice things such as cars and live within a point of self movement, living from the physical in what is practical and something that makes sense, not pushing for afeeling but living from reality.

I commit myself to stop the points of imagination through focusing on my breathing and bringing myself back to awareness through the breath as myself as I move myself within my body. Until I am clear and able to in a moment stop this point of imagination and thinking within self direction.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Day 300 – Self Judgment – Comparison Memory Breakdown - Money – ‘Rich Friend’

Check out this blog for reference of this portion below:

Day 299 – Self Judgment – Comparisons – Money Memories

“my friend in school, I went to her house, she had the same amount of kids in her family as us, but her house was really big and she had this gigantic tv that fit her whole wall, I was amazed and in that moment compared myself/family to hers and saw us as less able to buy these things like this huge tv which I desired, and so got depressed cause we couldn’t afford such things that I really wanted and saw would be really cool to have.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to my friends family because of the tv they had in there house and the size of their house, and see my family and thus me as less worthy due to this belief that those who have money have more power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have money and the family that I was with to have money so I could be seen by others as powerful and worthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto this memory of seeing our family as less then my friends and holding onto the belief that we will never be able to have everything we want because we don’t have a lot of money, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only care about having money so I could buy things I desired and be entertained while not caring how or to what ends this was met.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about the amount of work and how the people around me where in there beingness, but only caring about impressing others around me to show we had money and thus worth, and getting what I wanted as entertainment through money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my friend as superior to me because her family had more stuff and thus more money then our family based on what we had for things, and thus saw myself asinferior and less then her because I couldn’t match up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to my friend and thus judge us based on money value and what we have when within this I realize is not a fair system nor a real point of value, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a separation with my friend based on desire and judgment, and thus change my demeanor towards her because now I was intimidated.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to change my demeanor with my friend as intimidated based on feeling inferior to her because I compared our stuff and saw she had more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow feelings as inferior and desires direct me into compromising the life that is here between my friend and I, and thus miss the opportunity for self enjoyment and expansion with another in equality.

When and as I see that I am going into a point of judgment another and comparing myself to another based on what they have in monetary value, I stop and breath, and realize that this is only going to cause separation ascompetition and judgment, and thus disempower me and divide the opportunity here of life expression between us.

I commit myself to see life here for what it is in it’s purpose, letting go of what things are worth, and thus use products within common sense.

I commit myself to stop defining myself by my products and what I have, and focus on living my life in the best it can be, focus on doing rather then having.

I commit myself to stop judging me and others based on our monetary stuff and value, and work towards anequal money system where all are valued equally.

I commit myself to breath through all feelings releasing them as a directive force within me, and I direct myself in the best outcome I have gathered through my own common sense.