My Experience with Confidence In Appearance - Part 5 - Day 365

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

Featured Artist: Matti Freeman

This is a Series, here are the others for reference:
My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361
Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362
Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363
Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to define myself within the experience of myself as confident when I see when looking in the mirror I get a positive energy kick as I see that within my idea of the picture in my mind has been satisfied and I am feeling confident to go out in public and face others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my feeling of who I am through an experience of positive feelings when I see myself in the mirror and am satisfied with what I see and that have the thought that ‘now I can go and feel confident in myself’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a picture in my mind that I have to fufill and satisfy before I will go out with others and if I don’t satisfy this picture the feeling of confidence ends and I become insecure proving that this confidence is not in fact real because it depends on other factors rather then a living of it within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my confidence level based on the picture I see in the mirror and feel anxiety and fear when in public if I don’t have a picture that I am satisfied with when I look in the mirror.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself worth and confidence within myself based on my picture in the mirror rather then the who I am as a person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the mind when I have the thought ‘now I can go and feel confident in myself’ and so go into public and feel better about myself due to this conclusion that I look my best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the energy of positive feelings as excitement and a comfortableness if I am satisfied with the picture I see in the mirror and then become more comfortable in public situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when looking in the mirror and I am not satisfied with the way I look and accept the thought of ‘man, I look ugly  right now’ and so go into public feeling less comfortable and more anxious around other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to backchat and judge others based on what they look like and compare there look with mine, and so feel confident or not based on the way I compare to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel better about myself through accepting the positive energy as excitement or comfortableness when I see myself as more then others and so get a sense of confidence within myself and become more comfortable with being in public with people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel better about myself within myself if I am more then others within my mind through judgment of others around me and base my experience of myself on this judgment I have made in feeling more or less then others.

When and as I see I am going into my mind and comparing myself to a mirror image of myself or with another and judging it as good/bad, I stop and breath, and realize this is being enslaved within a polarity of positive and negative that will continue as I separate myself from others and my own living through judgment. I realize I will only be able to live in equality and so true self confidence if I build it through my actions and words based on the actual reality of what is here including and accepting all as myself.

I commit to stop judging and sizing myself up and others in my mind.

I commit to let go of the energy of feeling good or bad about myself and accepting myself in that moment absolutely.

I commit to stop the backchat thoughts of polarity of ugly/beautiful.

I commit myself to build confidence in myself through the way I build myself over time through self responsibility and living in a principled way and following through.

I commit myself to stop judging others.

I commit myself to stop judging myself.

I commit myself to accept myself and push with all people by become comfortable with myself.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:

Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site
Equal Money System - Site

“What If I was More” – Day 329

I have been looking at self acceptance for a while now, and have not had a satisfactory point within myself of seeing myself in this way. So I have been observing myself throughout the day to see where it is that I am not allowing myself to just live, be and accept who I am in each moment. The biggest point I am seeing is the point of accepting my physical appearance, seeing it within a point of judgment, and seeing this backchat thought of ‘what if I was looking like this, how my world would open up more.” “If only I had that feature or that look then I would really be able to do what I want”, and so this continues throughout the day, this accumulation of anger and disappointment because I want to look better then what I see in the mirror. I have always had this point within me through the desire to this belief system, that ‘if I was looking this way, then I would be so much more happy and appreciated, and loved”, and so it’s a constant point of self sabotage I am engaging within based on this very physical point that I can not change anything about my physical body in terms of it’s appearance. It is what it is and I have to accept it as such.

So this point that I am missing out on life due to the way I look and act within society is purely based on my own acceptances and allowances of judging myself and others and continuously comparing myself to my world around me, thus not applying myself in the physical in changing and stopping this pattern once and for all. Because obviously, I can not change my physical and I see how really selfish and self centered I am being due to fear of loss, but it is a point that I can change and correct within the relationship to myself so I can start to nurture and care for myself as a living being, the physical being who is here within this world and body and make something of myself then just a point of self sabotage and lost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of belief that I am missing out on life due to not being the best looking female that I know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as less then other females who I compare to myself as more feminine and womanly, and thus see me as not womanly and feminine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself less womanly then other women when I realize that I am not defined nor is anyone else defined due to their gender and that where integrity is born from is who we are within the way we live and treat others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as unworthy as a women compared to other women I see, and believe because I am not the top of the notch women look that I am thus less then others because I don’t have the same style as other females do and can’t pull off the looks other females can.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself and limit myself to styles and looks of what the picture presentation and expression of other women are conveying and comparing myself to that as seeing myself less then them, and then suppress my own expression due to a belief that I am just not stylish and beautiful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a desire to be beautiful and stylish based on my desire to only define people based on what they look like and how they move instead of seeing people as different expressions that are unique unto themselves and not compare and judge, but live equal to it all because this is how I would like to be treated as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to exist in comparison and judgment towards my world instead of pushing my application of breathing here and remaining stable in letting go of these desires and walking the path of realizing and living equal with all beings I meet.

When and as I see I go into a point of desiring to be more then who I am here within my flesh, I stop and breath, and speak ‘no I am here, I accept me as who I am in this moment’ and breath through all the physical reactions of anxiety and tightness within the stomach, and move through the reaction with breathing until it is subsided and thus focus on what is being said/physical interaction rather then the picture.

I commit myself to walk this statement of when the desire comes up to compare or go into self sabotage, breath, and speak I accept me for who I am.

I commit to breath through the reactions of anxiety and fear of loss through continuing to state the who I am statement no matter what points come up within me to go into reaction.

I commit to embrace the other within who they are and walk the point of acceptance of myself in equality to the other through seeing that we are both life in the physical and focus on the physical and letting go of the attachment within my mind.

I commit to practice communicating with others and moving through these triggers of backchat thoughts through breath awareness and stopping all points of judgment of myself or others through practicing seeing direct, what is here, in the physical and as the physical.

Photo Source