In a very short time my life’s direction has the potential
to change and is going to change quite drastically. At work, the person above
me unfortunately passed away suddenly where I am as well as many others faced
with filling the responsibility this being stood as. So it’s purely based on
circumstances and initial positions that each one was in before this event
happened, and now as I speak personally, I have to become more effective, more
disciplined, more skillful, and embrace this change to operate in the best of
my ability. I don’t necessarily want this position I am in though I am grateful
as this will challenge me in ways that I haven’t yet had the opportunity to
face.
I have in the past faced this point in a smaller
scale so I realize I do have the capability to do it, what is different
now is that I am more responsible and essentially standing in a leadershipisque
role, which brings up fears and anxieties within me. I see these fears activate
right as I open my eyes in the morning, a deep experience of dread washes over
me and it seems like the world is going to shit and that I am heading for doom
as I move into the unknown. So I have been practice waking up in self
forgiveness and moving myself through that experience because I see that it’s
not real and that it doesn’t in fact determine what and how my day will go, I determine that. I realize if I stay in that energy and allow it to fester by
participating in it, it does over take me and possess me, so being self aware in those first moments as I wake up is important to move into a productive day as I direct it rather then a destructive day in energy and thoughts that are compromising.
I am feeling this dread point come up more and more and also
within this I am seeing this experience of ego coming up, so there is a seesaw
happening where I am moving from absolute fear and dread to wanting to be
better then others and be noticed by others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
go into a point of self victimization based on this feeling of dread and fear
come up within me when I participate in thoughts such as ‘I am going to die’ or
‘I am going to miss my opportunity to become life’ or ‘I am going to fail at my
mission with my business’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
go into the fear energy where I participate in it as it moves from my stomach
area up into my chest, filling it up into my head, and then allow the thoughts to
overwhelm me where I move away form people and isolate myself as insecure.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
have this experience of overwhelming dread come over me as I accept and allow
myself to participate in the thoughts of dread and fear and death and not move
into my physical breath here and move into physical action so I can stand
through this energy and move myself with physical deliberateness and live my change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
go into a fear that I will not make it in my business or I will die before I
get a chance to do what I want to do here and not see, realize, and understand
that I am committed to walking my process and have shown steadfastness within
this venture.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
isolate myself as I accept and allow these thoughts to come over me that I am
going to experience dread instead of moving into a point of physical movement,
self change, and living words that will support me to live action that will be
best with life instead of restricting myself and going into the energy possession of fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
compensate with this insecurity feeling to become more pushy and aggressive
where I am showing my strength as ego and becoming more rude within my behavior
so I can show I am strong and in charge when in reality I am isolating myself
form the solution and harming others through my words and behavior through and
as aggression energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
become insecure within myself and so feel like I have to compensate by being
superior on the external reality.
I commit myself to in the mornings take a breath, do self
forgiveness on the points that are here, and move through it by living the word
excitement as a moving with more physical energy and smiling as I move.
I commit myself to say ‘I am going to have a productive day
where I check off the tasks on my list with joy’.
I commit myself to live the word joy by being spontaneous with
others throughout my day and communicating this with words of support and
encouragement to live what’s best for all.
I commit myself to let go of the ego by humbling myself to
others and see myself in them as I am them and source what I can learn from them so I can grow and share with them so they can equally benefit.
