Back on the Writing Train - Day 570

I haven't written a blog in some time though I enjoy writing, I will continue on writing out my mind process and the self-forgiveness with it so as to support myself and maybe support others in their mental health and so physical well being of their life.

The topic for today is about sadness, I have been sad recently and for me, in my life, I really should not be sad. I have everything I need, I have many opportunities, and lots of people who care about me and give me support. So I have a lot, though this sadness is coming from within me, seems deep, a deep point of sadness I have been experiencing, one I know as I open it up will be challenging though this is what I want to uncover, the shit that challenges me so I can face it once and for all and move on to live more self-direct and self-supportive through understanding and so living the change necessary. So for this sadness, I am seeing it is due to relationships, I am feeling lonely currently and this is due to a desire to have companionship and essentially a partner. This I am more seeing as a program that is coming up, a habitual desire that I have participated in for a lot of my life because when I am alone I need to take more of an effort to be with me, like there is this deep hole within me that I feel some sort of emptiness and within that my life feels dull or boring or more that I am not feeling fulfilled in who and what I am doing.

Though practically speaking I am doing a lot, mostly work these days, I am running a company with my cousin and dad who is soon to retire, and we are very busy. I am understaffed at the moment so I am having to pick up all the little tasks that are needing to get done and no one is there to do them. So I have a lot of work like task work to do every day, this is somewhat fulfilling, though this is more for survival and within this, it does not sit well with me as something that I would like to do and live as my creative pursuit in my life.

Don't get me wrong, I do understand that work of all kind is necessary as stuff has to get done and not everyone can do what they love to do, though I do see a better way and potential for humanity to exist in this world that is not needing to survive to exist. But in the meantime, this is what I am doing, so there is pressure on me to perform and be responsible for all these tasks I do on a daily basis as well as the extra stuff that comes up that needs to get done. So my job for the most part is fine, though within my purpose of why I am doing this job and my plans to support a higher good are always within me, so this pursuit is a point of self-fulfilling I can stand within as walking such a goal is not only supporting myself but lots of others as well. So this in the process and as I walk this and fulfill what I set out to do, I can see a satisfaction being lived out. Patience and flexibility are also needed in such ventures though pushing through challenges and staying disciplined I have found are hallmarks to building the fulfillment of self that I am seeing I am yearning for.

Another point is that I am desiring a partner to settle down with, though I am also seeing that I have a fear here due to not wanting to get into a relationship where the person will not work out or will not suit me well. I find myself to be a bit peculiar in my interests and pursuits though I do see that I will fit in with someone nicely if they do decide to come around. So it seems that this sadness as of late is coming from a desire to have a relationship yet fearing one due to not wanting to get into the wrong one or one that will not work out in the end. I also have this idea coming up that when I am in one and have that desire met it'll lose its lust and I will desire to be single again, and not want to deal with the inner workings and dealings that relationships with others bring.

So I will walk some forgiveness on these points and clear the path for a change I can live with and brings out the best, here it goes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a desire to have a specific outcome in my day and life where I know what I am doing, who I will be, and who I will meet and thus fulfill a desire to have a fulfilling conversation or interaction with another to where I feel more valuable or worthy because I did interact with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a desire to interact and have friendly conversations with others in my world because I have created the idea and belief that if I am having friendly conversations with others it means I have value and have something to offer others because they decided to stop and talk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to go into a point of reveling in the energy of being liked, having people to talk to, being seen by others, getting noticed and thus desire to have this and so if I don't have this intereaction believe I then am not these things, not good enough essentially.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if i am not being noticed or talked to by others that I am then not as worthy as when I am being noticed and talked to by others, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am based on counting and holding the score of who talks to me and when.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the energetic desire of feeling good and happy when i am noticed and people talk to me and thus within my secret mind go into competition and comparison of others where I label and polarize myself and others based on the numbers, and create assumptions of why some are getting more and some aren't, which is not actually standing in physical reality here but lingering in the mind illusions of thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I was younger create the decision to see myself as not as good as others based on the experience I got when I was humiliated in front of others and thus saw others kids not having to go through this experience, seeing myself as inferior and less than and from there desire and decided to figure out why I am this way and others are able to bypass such uncomfortable experiences such as these.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am based on a memory of experiences I went through as a child and thus hold onto the conclusions I made in that time instead of here changing who I am in relation to these memories and experiences within me and redefine who I am in relation to friendship, people on the street, family members, coworkers, and thus give myself a foundation for my stand to thus use as a point of creative movement.

I commit myself to redefine the word friendship for myself in relation to the relationships in my life and who I will be without comparison or competition, but me as a being meeting myself in another.

This for next blog, thanks for reading.

Support and educate yourself on the links shared:

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

www.destonians.com

http://www.desteni.org
http://www.eqafe.com
http://www.earthhaven.org

Stubbornness: What am I making more difficult then it has to be? Day 441

Photo Source

So tonight I listened to the second recording of the very supportive series from eqafe about stubbornness, and in this discussion they spoke about some key points that I found helpful, one being that when taking on the mind within the process being walked in these journey to life blogs as well as the desteni group in general, is we have to take on all parts of our mind that are coming up equally ensuring all parts are considered and taken on with equal capacity. I found this important to look into for myself because I to have seen myself go into a form of ‘favoring’ some parts of my mind I would like to change, where other parts of myself I chose to look the other way or push it to the future because facing them seems way to difficult and other excuses are used like I am not ready yet.

This has now come to the point where I have walked quite a bit within my mind and have made some progress on myself, though I see other parts of my world where I am still tending to make my life more difficult by resisting the points that are intense and serving the mind through following it rather then serving myself as life and directing my life in a way that is best for all. I have had enough with a specific point that I have been now walking over a few years and it still has had power over me, this point being the judgment of my physical body. I have made this process more difficult then it needs to be because I have allowed my thoughts to take over and the energy that goes with these thoughts overwhelm me rather than living here in my physical body and stopping myself through breath. I have proven to myself that I am able to do this in other points I have stopped, showing that I am able to do in all points of my mind as the tools and the principles as well as the living application remains the same. 

Another point that I have also found which had contributed to making my process more difficult is that I had started to write less and less and within doing this my application and effectiveness was becoming less and less. I realized what I was doing on some level was just living out the resistances I had already participated in my mind and now was manifesting into my reality as feeling lethargic and depressed, and so had no energy or desire to move myself. All a consequence of continuing to exist in the self defeatist thoughts and the energies of despair and resentment.  I made excuses and justification overpower my actual will to stop, and because I was not supporting myself with the tools that have always been available, I was not making progress on these points and so empowering the mind more then my living self.

And of course this had consequence in my world and reality, where I became more reclusive then open and comfortable with others, where I would become more reactive and take things personal rather than stable and understanding, and where I would go into deep emotional highs and lows and not stand effective in my application of change that I had set out for myself to do. So I realized that if I do not support myself with the tools that are available, the writing of self forgiveness and self correction and then living the change, I would fall more and more into the mind. The tools being the key for the walking of this process as doing it alone or going about it in resistance and giving into the resistance makes this process much more difficult then it needs to be and so the living of my life much more difficult then it needs to be.

Pushing through resistances in all forms and keeping consistent in the application of the basics as they are called and as I wrote above, is the support structure in place to support life to birth ourselves into the physical, back to what is real, back to who we really are, and allowing the stubbornness experience to continue in this way of making my process and my life more difficult is just plain stupid. So I will continue on with this point in my next blog and implement self forgiveness and self commitments to ensure my application of consistency and stability remains steadfast as I remain here walking breath by breath. Thanks for reading.

Interview Support on the topic of Stubbornness:
Stubbornness: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 154
Stubbornness: Overcoming - Atlanteans - Part 155
Stubbornness: Practical Application - Atlanteans - Part 156
Stubbornness: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 157
Stubbornness: Redesigning - Atlanteans - Part 158
Physical Sound - Atlanteans - Part 159
The Consequences of Speaking - Atlanteans - Part 160
Stubbornness: Independence, Dependence, Interdependence - Atlanteans - Part 161

Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Why Do I Resist Physical Movement? Day 423

Photo Source

There is a point that is here currently for me to look at, which is me resisting writing out a mind construct, and as I started this blog I initially after I typed the first couple words I had a thought to go and hug henri who is lying write next to me. So this is an interesting set of behaviors I endeavored in instead of simply typing my blog, which was my plan of action, I first before the thought of going to cuddle with henri came, I had a resistance come up to start typing.

This resistance was in the form of a feeling, so it wasn’t something that I was consciously aware of nor was it something that I can even specifically describe or pinpoint now, but through the pattern that is coming up within going to write, I feel this resistance come up usually. So it’s more a physical experience of a heaviness or not wanting to physically move my body and self to do what it is that has to be done for instance here type out my blog, and this experience was accepted very fast, without me even noticing, as I followed the next thought and picture that came up of having a nice feeling when I could cuddle with my dog henri, and so I stopped what I was originally planning on doing and went and hugged henri. Distracted and moving more into resistance to physically moving, and more into my self interest and desire to do nothing for a moment, and so missing the moment to express here.

So the mind obviously within us knows what it is doing, it not only knows, it has programmed itself in specific ways for it’s own will and so we as the beings within our body/mind relationship have programmed ourselves within ourselves through accepting and allowing the mind to move myself through my thoughts into a point of self sabotage. I am abdicating my responsibility to ensure I walk the process I have committed to walk, and so ‘wasteing’ time in essence with an imbalance through seeking more and more relaxing times then that which is time dedicated to finishing tasks. And I realize that writing a blog as well as a mind construct is something that is supportive and helps me to stabilize this imbalance and become the potential that I can see in myself, but because I have conditioned myself so much in energy, I have now shown to myself that I am too much accepting and allowing this experience of resistance and missing the opportunities here to engage in my self change to walk this process to life, time is of the essence there is none to waste.

But here I stand and I must admit that this point has taken a lot of time to sink in and at time’s I have been steadfast and consistent within myself in moving myself in the physical and other times I have not done or lived in ways that produce worth, I am too much allowing my mind to put carrots out in front of me as thoughts and taking the snap at it, but realizing that this carrot stick leads to no where, but more desire, more wants, more emotional upheaval, and so continuing to exist in the mind cycle of resisting that which is physical and living in the mind as thoughts, memories, and pictures through energetic reactions to live. I am not living while I am resisting. 

Cuddling henri is obviously not good or bad, it is the starting point in which I have chosen to do so, and in the above I have shown that it was done in a moment of accepting resistance and taking the ‘easy way out’ so to speak to gain comfort, gain a positive feeling with no effort, and so create within my living nothing of substance.

What I want for myself and so for everyone is to create that which is of substance, that which nurtures myself and so all others, and that which will create myself who to be able to direct myself in what it is that I see is best for me and so best for all, creating me as the living word that always does what is best for all. If I don’t live consistency and principled in a way that births life in the physical, then I am not creating anything of substance and becoming part of that which takes from life, takes from this physical existence, and does not sustain self and so what is here as life. This is not the life I want to create, and so in my next blog I will walk the process of self forgiveness and self correction to give myself direction in the next moments this points comes up again and walk what is substantial here in physical reality through my living. Thanks for reading.

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Related articles

• day 614: The power is you, not depression
• 412. How Does Writing Affect Change in this World?
• Day 436: Suppressing In Fear of Expressing
• The Desteni Group - is it a Cult? Facts and Fiction: DAY 222

Day 206 – Impatience and Laziness

I am finding within this point of typing especially in chats, which I do quite often during the week on skype, I have this experience of impatience’s writing back and forth with another as well as a form of laziness, where I will not stop for a moment and re-read what I wrote and make necessary corrections in my spelling, but send it off quickly because I don't want to take the time to look at it and make the effort to correct it. I have learned to type very fast and really have become dependent on the spellchecker to fix my mistakes, so in a way I have relied on other sources instead of myself to fix my mistakes.

This is essentially making me crazy because I judging myself for not correcting my mistakes in conversation with others, like what is my deal, their going to think I just don't care about what I am doing or am not smart. I find that it’s this point of laziness as I realize I have the ability, but I really just don’t want to take the time to stop and read what I have written over and make the necessary corrections  I see this impatience is fueled by this desire to hear or see what the other person will respond. Like I have this constant anticipation within me to to fast and get what is written sent, so I can be entertained with what the other will say back. I am fine with this point of interest within conversing with another and getting a point of enjoyment out of it because it is something I do enjoy talking or type talking with others, but this point of impatience’s and laziness to not correct my mistakes is something that I need to write out in self forgiveness and self correction. Here it goes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to participate and accept laziness within me when typing with another and not talking the time to look back and make sure that the message is legible and able to be understood. I realize that being lazy is a point that is not necessary and cause abuse as I am not giving my all and the other could at some point misunderstand something or not understanding something I said based on me just not want to do correct the spellings or add/delete words when I am certainly capable of doing this and sending the message in more clarity.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this point of laziness to not re-check my typing and make the necessary correction for the best opportunity for understanding by all parties who will read it, I stop and breath, and go into the act of re-checking and correcting my spelling, stopping the thoughts that it doesn’t matter, and simply re-check and correct before I send it off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush through what I am typing to find out what the other is going to say, and thus miss myself within the act of typing and not become more specific, aware, and detailed in the words I am typing. I realize that I am able to become more aware within my physical body, I am able to slow down, I am able to become more specific and detailed within my typing, and I am able to stop and recheck my typing before I send it because it just takes an effort to do, a physical movement to stop and do and thus I walk this physical movement for what is best for all.

So I commit myself to when and as I have the urge to rush and get it done, I stop and breath, and push myself to slow down in that movement and become aware of my physical body, become aware with each finger as I type, and thus become aware of my physical body as I complete the typing, so not to automatically hit enter, but become diligent within making sure the message is clear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for typing in such messy ways of misspellings and missing complete words, I realize that I am learning and thus adapting to a change that is now in the process of being implemented so it will take time and space to will myself to change and correct this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what the other will think of me when they see how sloppy I am within my typing towards them and so fear that I don’t care about myself and am stupid. I realize that this fear is not real and thus is not relevant as it only cause degeneration within myself, I realize also all people make mistakes and thus have a learning curve of correction to walk to create a solution within it. I realize that I will make mistakes, but it's to push the point of correction to solutions and stopping the mind from festering and creating illusions.

I commit myself to when and as I go into judgment of messing up, I stop and breath, and immediately stop the judgment and either correct the point or practice letting it go as it does not define me.

I commit myself to stop all fear of what others think of me, and focus on the breathing so I can become aware of the mistakes within the moment it is done, and make the corrections as I type.

I commit myself to push my effort within my typing ability to move slower, become more perfected within my finger dexterity and the typing action, and push to stop and breath and correct the mistakes that are done when I see it is necessary.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 1 - Considering Others

Day 1

When I arrived at work tonight, I was 4 minutes late, and the girl who I was relieving said 'you need to come on time, I have to be somewhere', immediately my reaction went to blame her, and diminish her within my mind because she dare call me out as doing something 'bad' or 'wrong'. I blamed and condemned another for the simple fact that I did not want to face myself as someone who is late and caused another to call me out on it. This point of being called out is the point where I go into reaction, as this point of calling me out, brings up memories of being yelled at by adults as a kid, and I really feared being yelled at by adults because I didn't enjoy the loudness of their voices and me being caught doing something 'bad.

So when this event occurred of being called out by my co-worker and I see myself react, I realize that this is just my ego trying to protect itself to be the one who is right and the other is at fault, thoughts go through such as 'I don't deserve this scolding as I am just a few minutes late', but not considering the others world/responsibilities/schedules and thus separating my responsibility to the agreement of the job to be there at a certain time, which I require others to uphold and should always require myself to uphold as well.

Within this this is not taking responsibility for who I am within my job and the agreements set forth when going into a job to be in at a certain hour and leave at a certain hour, where others plan their events according to this agreed upon schedule, and obviously if one is late, it creates a chain reaction that effect others unnecessarily. Now within this being late, I realized I was going to be late, but still I went into ego here and decided I could be a few minutes late because 'it's just a few minutes, who cares?' Allowing and accepting myself to disregard the other being at the job and being inconsiderate to the other in whatever was going on in their world based how they set up their night according to the time's scheduled, and was late on purpose cause I didn't want to be there at all. This lax attitude, that it's 'no big deal' towards others I have allowed for a lot of my life and I've allowed it to direct me due to this superiority and ego that I am more then others due to my perception of what I do and who I am as a 'good' and 'easy-going' person.

Interesting dynamics that really go on within myself in terms of my secret mind where I accept and allow myself to disregard the other beings within my world due to the belief that I deserve a break and to be catered to because I believe myself to be good, thus seeing myself essentially more deserving then others and able to have privileges over others. This of course completely made up within my mind due to my desire to not want to work and not want to push myself to get my ass in gear and be on time for work. So using excuses and justifications such as I am just a few minutes late or I deserve to be late because I allow others to be late, is a complete abdication of the responsibility to the other and the respect of the other to say yes, I see you and realize that you are as important and deserving as I am, so thus I as you will equalize myself to what is here as work and respect the fact that the schedule here is in place and that that is what life is moving from.

Working with the physical, working with reality, and stopping my mind as delusions, justifications, ego grandeur to direct me in abusing the privilege of others kindness and not considering the other as I would want to be consider. I am not special nor more then any other being here, we are all equal, we all deserve the respect and consideration of how one would want for oneself, and thus all points of blame, irritation, and justification is in fact my own dishonesty's showing me where I am still allowing ego, and thus I stop, breath, self forgive, and direct myself to consider all here as myself and correct my living to stand equal and one with all life here as me.

Being Late-

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be late for work based on the thoughts that 'its cool if I am a few minutes late, it's just a few minutes, no big deal'.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to within this thought of 'it's cool if I am a few minutes late, no big deal' only seeing and considering my own self interest of not wanting to go to work and thus using excuses as 'it's no big deal' as an escape to give myself a tiny bit more timee to dunce around and avoid working while I understood and realized that their indeed is another being who is being effected and will create a consequence for them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to not take into consideration the other worker within my job who is depending on me to be on time due to the scheduled agreement we have to be in at certain time and thus create consequence and unnecessary aggravation for another when I was deliberately late and not giving equal consideration to the other as I realized they would be late for the next event if they had one planned.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my ego to direct me with an idea that because I am relaxed with others when they are late, I deserve to be late once and a while, although this is not reality as the other worker did not agree to this and this is only within the idea that I am somehow more important then the other being at work and thus deserve special privileges.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to thus go into ego within superiority and believe that I am more important then another because I am a 'good' person allowing others to not stress when their late so thus I should also get this consideration based on being helpful and getting a nice feeling about myself as a 'good person'.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the mind as emotions to direct me into belief of myself that based on my idea of myself as 'good' where based on this idea of me being 'good' within my mind, I deserve special privileges and thus justified my tardiness to the job when I had agreed in taking this job that I would be there at a specific time, which I deliberately missed based on laziness and escapism.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my idea of myself as 'good' to create the belief that I should have special privileges and thus within my back chat I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to deliberately spite the worker at work and be late on purpose as I wanted to be lazy and not go into work at all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be spiteful towards the worker based on me not wanting to live out my responsibilities and thus accept and allow myself to give in to resistance of being late cause I wanted to have a little bit more time off.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to not consider the other within and as the physical reality that is my world and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to live only in my own self interest and justify the abuse and abdication of my responsibility to another at work.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Self Correction:

When and as this point comes up of wanting to escape and be lazy not wanting to take care of my responsibilities, I stop breath, and speak 'i am here in the physical equal and one, I walk as life' and walk the correction of moving through any and all resistance that arise to abdicate my responsibilities and also consider all within my world and how my decisions will effect others. I walk and commit myself to always consider the others within my world and my responsibility to live as equals in whatever scenario comes up. I commit myself to live my agreements and walk the best I am able to within this physical reality and stop the ego within thoughts and self interest.


Blaming Co-worker


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to blame my co worker based on my reaction of fear and embarrassment for being called out when I showed up late for work.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to within the blame that I created towards her based on the fear I had of being yelled at immediately go into my secret mind and diminish my co-worker as a 'bitch' and 'horrible'.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting back chat of diminishment towards another based on me accepting and allowing my ego to want to be greater then her and better so within my mind I use my own spitefulness to get back at her and be the winner because I have determined that she is a bitch and thus I am not so I am more then her.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be spiteful within my backchat towards my co worker based on the fear that came up due to me not liking to be yelled at as a kid and still holding onto this fear and dislike as an adult and thus based on this energy that I created and held onto as fear and dislike I go straight for revenge and thus diminish her for calling me out about being late.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use my mind as a form of attack on another as revenge and thus create an idea of myself in my mind that I am more when I am just diminishing myself as I am the one creating this abuse and unnecessary conflict within myself towards another or my world based on me not wanting to face the reality of that moment of me being late and not considering my co-workers equal to how I would want to be considered.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use abuse as back chat thoughts of she is a 'bitch' and 'horrible' so I can be more and look better within my mind to thus gain superiority over my co-worker as I felt diminished when called out on being late based on holding onto the memory of fear and dislike when I was yelled at as a kid.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the polarity playout within my mind of superior and inferior ideas based on me defining myself by my world and seeing it within these two polarities = good/bad, when I realize and see it was just a point of consideration by my co-worker to let me know that she expects me here on time and not late.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to hold onto a memory of me within fear of being yelled at by an adult based on me being shocked by the noise of the yell and not desiring to experience that way of being talked to again.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to hold onto the past as memories and blame my co-worker for this feeling as the memory has brought up as fear and dislike when she called me out to be on time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to blame my co-worker for who I was in that moment as not wanting to face myself as being late and not taking responsibility and allowed thus I allowed fear and emotions to direct me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting fear and emotions to direct me in my reality as I see and realize what is here is me and thus I accept what is here as me, and walk the correction without taking myself/world/others personally as what is here is a gift for me to walk and self correct to thus walk as equal with all life as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to take my co-workers words towards me as a personal attack and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to react in fear and anger and go into my ego to gain superiority back.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use my ego as a point of gaining power as I realize this power is in the diminishment of others thus not who i am and not real as I realize and see all are equal here and all is life as myself, thus I see and understand real power is here within breath as I walk and equalize myself with this physical reality equal and one to all as I stop my ego and accept all that is here as me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Self Correction:

When and as this point of ego arise where I go into my back chat and diminish another based on taking what is done/said/lived towards me personally, I stop, breath, and I realize that this is not a personal point towards me, I can direct myself in common sense and thus walk equality as all here. I am not defined nor determined by others so thus instead of reacting, I commit myself to use what is here as life as others and correct myself to stand one and equal with all as I see and realize the ego as mind is not real and only causes diminishment in myself as I go and abuse others in my back chat and thus eventually in the physical which is unacceptable and not necessary as I can stop myself and change.

I commit myself to change this point of blame and going into ego, to thus walk with others in understanding and seeing what it is that is actually being said and lived and thus change myself to align with oneness and equality in the best way I am able to for the best outcome I can walk for all life. I stop polarity playouts and stop my fears from directing me.




self forgiveness, walking to life, equal and one, equality, oneness, writing, journal, diary, life journey, garbrielle, equal money, desteni,