A Lady's Journey to Life: Why Do I Resist Physical Movement? Day 423

There is a point that is here currently for me to look at, which is me resisting writing out a mind construct, and as I started this blog I initially after I typed the first couple words I had a thought to go and hug henri who is lying write next to me. So this is an interesting set of behaviors I endeavored in instead of simply typing my blog, which was my plan of action, I first before the thought of going to cuddle with henri came, I had a resistance come up to start typing.

This resistance was in the form of a feeling, so it wasn’t something that I was consciously aware of nor was it something that I can even specifically describe or pinpoint now, but through the pattern that is coming up within going to write, I feel this resistance come up usually. So it’s more a physical experience of a heaviness or not wanting to physically move my body and self to do what it is that has to be done for instance here type out my blog, and this experience was accepted very fast, without me even noticing, as I followed the next thought and picture that came up of having a nice feeling when I could cuddle with my dog henri, and so I stopped what I was originally planning on doing and went and hugged henri. Distracted and moving more into resistance to physically moving, and more into my self interest and desire to do nothing for a moment, and so missing the moment to express here.

So the mind obviously within us knows what it is doing, it not only knows, it has programmed itself in specific ways for it’s own will and so we as the beings within our body/mind relationship have programmed ourselves within ourselves through accepting and allowing the mind to move myself through my thoughts into a point of self sabotage. I am abdicating my responsibility to ensure I walk the process I have committed to walk, and so ‘wasteing’ time in essence with an imbalance through seeking more and more relaxing times then that which is time dedicated to finishing tasks. And I realize that writing a blog as well as a mind construct is something that is supportive and helps me to stabilize this imbalance and become the potential that I can see in myself, but because I have conditioned myself so much in energy, I have now shown to myself that I am too much accepting and allowing this experience of resistance and missing the opportunities here to engage in my self change to walk this process to life, time is of the essence there is none to waste.

But here I stand and I must admit that this point has taken a lot of time to sink in and at time’s I have been steadfast and consistent within myself in moving myself in the physical and other times I have not done or lived in ways that produce worth, I am too much allowing my mind to put carrots out in front of me as thoughts and taking the snap at it, but realizing that this carrot stick leads to no where, but more desire, more wants, more emotional upheaval, and so continuing to exist in the mind cycle of resisting that which is physical and living in the mind as thoughts, memories, and pictures through energetic reactions to live. I am not living while I am resisting.

Cuddling henri is obviously not good or bad, it is the starting point in which I have chosen to do so, and in the above I have shown that it was done in a moment of accepting resistance and taking the ‘easy way out’ so to speak to gain comfort, gain a positive feeling with no effort, and so create within my living nothing of substance.

What I want for myself and so for everyone is to create that which is of substance, that which nurtures myself and so all others, and that which will create myself who to be able to direct myself in what it is that I see is best for me and so best for all, creating me as the living word that always does what is best for all. If I don’t live consistency and principled in a way that births life in the physical, then I am not creating anything of substance and becoming part of that which takes from life, takes from this physical existence, and does not sustain self and so what is here as life. This is not the life I want to create, and so in my next blog I will walk the process of self forgiveness and self correction to give myself direction in the next moments this points comes up again and walk what is substantial here in physical reality through my living. Thanks for reading.