Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

Featured Artist: Andrew Gable

This is a Series, here are the others for reference:
My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361
Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362
Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363

So here I will be starting to open up the confidence/insecurity construct I exist within, it was opened up within the previous post when the horse I was working with on the farm looked into my eyes and I felt exposed due to the depth of how that look touched me. See reference above if you would like to follow along with this series. In general my experience of myself is generally negative, I feel less capable and less fulfilled then the potential that I realize I can be. The main focus of this and why I allow myself to exist in this way is due to the desires and energy movements within me that I have not controlled and not directed, a more main personality I exist in is the belief that I am better then some folks and that some folks are better then me. This ranges in all areas of my life, work, socially, in athletics, I mean, competition is within all that I do. When I compete this is the outcome, there will be a loser and there will be a winner. What I do is I define myself based on this outcome instead of enjoying what is here in each moment, this is what in fact is actually real, things happening and me within it in each breath here.

So I would like to do some self forgiveness to get through and clear this relationship I have with being confident in myself and then creating the polarity opposite of being insecure, first starting with the confidence point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel confident within the way I direct myself even when I see, realize, and understand that I was not speaking within a point of self confidence where I have seen all the outcomes and walked them to a point of living experience, but speak more in reaction and have an idea that I am in the right and believe that I have the more viable story/playout.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ensure within my mind that I know what I am talking about and I am in the right point of view and story line even though I am reacting within myself in an energy of anxiety or anger or frustration towards an external outlet and based on this reaction I accept thoughts of winning, being right, and not budging from my position.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gain confidence within the false beliefs in my mind that I have created through an idea that I am smarter then others, I have the right to do what I do, and that I am better at what I do then others when in the face of others I see in areas I am more skilled or more know more I then use that to my advantage to get what I desire in the end which is to win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to misrepresent myself within this false confidence as genuine when in reality I am not, I am in my mind finding ways and methods to beat out the others and gain the desired outcome I want and use this belief that I am more then others to give me the confidence to push through in the face of opposition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the to believe that I have to compete and face the opposition in the outside world not realizing that I am only facing myself, and that I can’t blame anyone or anything outside myself for the way I am experiencing myself within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use confidence in a point of getting the upper hand within situations were I have judge others as less then me and so become more confident because I have seen that I am more at an advantage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in windows of time assess a person and size them up with me  and base my living off of survival as competition rather then stepping beyond my mind reality as judgment and survival and seeing the greater picture of who I am and who I am in relation to others as equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to the way in which I am living and so effect my environment and life around me in a way that cause imbalance and abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become enthralled with energy as self interest through believed confidence and not realize that I am hurting others and creating consequences that will create rifts in my world and others that are not supportive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use confidence to push through my world and use ignorance because I use my mind as a shield of beliefs that I am this and that, but in reality I am separating myself from others because I am not here with them as am in competition and fighting for my survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am more then others based on my skills or capabilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have a right to do what I do to others because I have more of the way I operate at work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as better then others due to the way I conduct business affairs and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use confidence in my abilities and myself against others in competition to win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete and try and win in what I do in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that we have to survive to live here when in fact this is not true I am already here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my environment in reality based on beliefs in my mind I am living as real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my mind as thoughts as beliefs rather then be here and live within what is really going on in physical reality moment by moment through breath awareness and self honesty.

When and as I see I am going into a point of competition and survival with my environment, I stop and breath, and realize this creates a separation with my environment and everyone in it within a false reality I am living in that I need to be more or am more which I realize is not in fact true inherently.

I commit myself to let go of the beliefs that I am anything that comes from a thought.

I commit myself to let go of thoughts and live from the physical reality, which will build my self trust and self honesty.

I commit myself to stand in the shoes of others and let go of the desire to win.

I commit to walk with others in equality and let go of the idea that I have to be confident to make it.

I commit myself to let go of the survival of competition in this world and I commit to walk solutions with others that create a point of enhancement and betterment of all involve.

Eqafe Interview Support that I Recommend:

Insecurity: Introduction - Atlanteans - Part 148
Insecurity: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 149
Insecurity: Insecurity-Confidence Polarity - Atlanteans - Part 150
Confidence: Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans - Part 151
Confidence: Practical Support - Atlanteans - Part 152
Confidence: The End - Atlanteans - Part 153

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site
Equal Money System - Site

Day 120- Disappointment Character Breakdown- Part 1 – I AM A Failure

I have found very often I will go into disappointment within myself when I realize that I have fallen in my process or have not lived up to the expectations I put on myself to be lived out, and thus will fuel the mind through this polarity of desiring to be successful in my process and becoming disappointed when I fall.

This above, is a portion of yesterday’s blog Day 119-Disappointment Character – Sexual Prowess, where I will be taken each paragraph and writing out self forgiveness on a multi-blog/day platform, enjoy and thanks for reading.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of disappointment based on a belief that I have failed in process, and thus see myself as not good enough based on this belief that I am a failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a belief that when I fall in process, that I am a failure. and that I am less then who I was a moment before based on not being able to stand in all moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within this belief of an expectation of me to be perfect within each and every moment of my process, I realize that it is unrealistic and not using common sense assessment as this idea of perfection in my mind is an illusion of in a point of ego to try and be seen by others as more, as great, as an achiever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto an expectation of being more then who I am, meaning trying to achieve the impossible of perfection, without walking the process of living to be perfect, so thus walking it from my mind where in I am not in reality, but in hope of being more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live into hope of being more then who I am in each breath and thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the desire of hope and thus manifest it’s opposite as disappointment based on me being within desires and wants instead of here in physical reality considering the actual steps and dicispline it will take for me to walk in real time to become a being self realized living in self perfection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel the mind through living in polarity of success/failure and hope/disappointment splitting myself from the solution which is myself taking responsibility for these points, and standing within a point of stability by realizing that I am my own direction and will, and so within this point of going into an expectation realizing that it will cause always a disappointment as I am not living for real, but for something outside myself as a want, and thus missing self in breath and missing my opportunity to live the solution which is here as me.

I commit myself to stop this point of focusing on succeeding in process realizing that it will take a process of all sorts of points and re-alignment within who I am, so to realize I can't expect or desire a certain outcome. Thus I commit myself to walking my process in simplicity with the point that is here, breath by breath, until the points end and I am as life here as the physical.

I commit myself to let go of all beliefs within and as me as I realize that beliefs are not fact and thus are not here as life as the physical is fact, thus I focus on the fact of the matter and stop the assumptions of the mind as beliefs as it’s not supportive of what is best for all because it doesn't consider ALL the facts, but focus on illusion.

I commit myself to stop all points of expectation in a desire to be seen as more then others to make myself feel better, thus I commit to walk through this point of ego as desire to be more so thus I can stand as an equal in fact and be trusted with and as life as I would want from others.

I commit myself to stop the desire to be perfect as it’s not real as it’s in the mind, and walk the only perfection that exist, self perfection as life in oneness and equality in what is best for all in all ways here in living breath by breath.

I commit myself to stop living into hope and thus simultaneously activating the opposite polarity of disappointment where in I live into these points, as the act of desire for hope is not real as it’s within a point of separation to do something in the future, when I realize I am here and thus I live here in every breath in what I can do for what is best for all always. There is no hope needed thus no disappointment created to live here in breath and do what is best for life.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

fail, failure, I am a failure, disappointment, parents disapprove, expectation, desire to be perfect, perfect girl, self perfection, success story, life process, desteni, journey to life, 2012, eqafe,