I have been sleeping more and more lately where i been getting up right when i need to leave, which i would like to get some things done before i leave, i see that when i first wake up, my mind is the most active, making it's way to my awareness and pulling me into itself as my self as i start participating in fears of what if. The discipline and self movement in the morning first waking up will set the day up either in more suppression and struggle or self directive will as an expression of creating myself in what is best for me and so all. Its an act of being productive through self movement, a physical get up and go and moving forward, considering my body and all my cells as myself, and in this the understanding that life is not limited in the expression of what self can do and live, there is many potentials of expression each moment. So start with the small as practically there is a limitation of what i can physically do so common sense is needed every moment, and so i practice and live this as what i can do in my day to day and in this it strengthens and builds over time.
So after sleeping when i open my eyes, i am seeing that there is these fears of dreading the day, what i will face, and if anything uncertain will happen. I find the fears of worst case scenarios will flood my mind and in this i will become weakened in my breathing and in my letting go, i will fall into emotions and start going into self judgments and points that i myself have no control over and do not have full context. Also i have too many things i want to get done so i become unmotivated to do anything because again the belief that its too much or i don't know where to start, all just distractions really and keep me stuck in the past and in thoughts and literally in myself/my bed/physical reality.
The understanding is to get out of the mind through breathing and letting go of the thoughts, literally let them go, if they continue without the ability to direct, going to writing is suggested to sort out what ever is repeating in ones thoughts/memories, through self investigation and self forgiveness self can flesh it out and figure out how to correct it. It takes a lot of practice, so don't give up as the mind will push this on self often, its desire is energy and not what is best for all life, so self has to take the directive pricniple back and see how to live it for self. That is the beauty of the writing and speaking self forgiveness to understand how to correct self and where, usually self knows cause it's common sense but it will be worked through as one sticks with these tools. I have not yet applied myself satisfactory in this point of letting go and walking as breath, in and out, feeling the breath feed my physical body as i as my physical embrace it and release it back to myself as the earth to them take it in and give it back for me to take in, but i see the point and i am committed to live this as myself until it is done. In essence i am seeing that it's a giving to myself as all here as i do for me i do for others and vise versa as all is one and equal. I am finding to not hold onto to anything, let it go, purify with self forgiveness and recreate self here alwasy in living principles until they are natural, they are self, who you really are, i have separated myself from life for a bit and now i am walking back to life fully, i never was fully lost, but i am actually a whole being as life, no need for separation, we are all one as the same yet equal as beings in living expression. A fascinating real-i-zation indeed and in sound.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in the morning wake up with the belief that i am doomed for the rest of the day/my life and i have no control over the destruction of what is going to happen based on the thoughts that are coming up as in the world is scary, people are not trustworthy, the world is going to end, we are going to not make it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for the state of the badness of the world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the state of this world and go into anger in myself when i wake up about how messed up everything is.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into worst case scenarios within and as me where i am seeing the bad only and not the expression and potentials that exist in each moment as we are here and living in this world.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the what ifs of this reality where life could be this way or could be that way, instead of working with what is here as myself and my self honesty where i stand within a point of self introspection and self forgiveness and let go and move forward.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the past recreating preprogrammed moments of memory that exist here in the present moment that is here and so recreate myself as mind as memory instead of living here and creating myself as life in what is best for all as common sense.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to try and figure things out with my mind instead of letting it go and seeing how life plays out and in this direct in the moment in the principles of life in what is best and doing unto another as how i'd like done onto me and in this live this as myself in the physical not in the mind as thought automation.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memories and the past because it feels comfortable and safe as i know what to expect and don't need to really push myself beyond my boundaries.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to push myself beyond my boundaries and not stand within a point of life giving and standing within what is best to the best of my ability.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sleep past my commitment time and not wake up due to the belief of being tired when i see i have gotten rest and i am only participating in my mind as thoughts and memories and thus allowing the mind as emotions/thoughts and feelings take over instead of self directing me here.
I commit myself to let go of the judgment and blame of myself and others, i forgive myself and live in a way of breathing and creating my day.
I commit myself to create my morning with walking up at 6am doing some writing and drinking coffee, along with exercise and prepping for the day.
I commit myself to walk up on my alarm and not stay in bed to rest.
I commit myself to let go of the thoughts of i am tired as i see i am life and life is not tired and doesn't require to sleep but the body as the physical as me requires rest.
I commit myself to let go of fear and take responsibility for myself and share myself to support others as how i'd like to be supported.
When and as i see i want to go into thoughts and become lazy as automation, i stop and breath, i remain in breath and create myself in a way that is best for all in this moment, i will write when i am not clear and do self forgiveness until i am clear.
I commit myself to live and do my best and bring and give this to others as a gift i can give and would like to receive as the best living potential for us all.
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