Photo By: Marlen Del Vargas Razo
Link to First part of blog series:
Reoccurring Nightmare: Being Chased – Day 445
This also has developed into many forms of reactions within myself towards others in my day to day living, so the feeling of being chased is the experience I am doing to myself of not facing myself in my own reality. Allowing these fears and beliefs about who I am chase me around day in and day out, allowing projections to direct me, allowing energy to overtake me, and not standing within these moments and saying no to here no further, and walking the process to face myself and stop. So I have just been allowing myself to torture myself into this cat and mouse game of waiting for the next judgment, waiting for the next energy burst of emotion, and waiting for the next bout of depression because I believe I am being harmed by others and people are out to get me. When all the while I have been harming myself and chasing myself into a circle of self compromise through judging myself. Time to stop this once and for all, and forgive myself and release myself from this nightmare scenario.
Reoccurring Nightmare: Being Chased – Day 445
This also has developed into many forms of reactions within myself towards others in my day to day living, so the feeling of being chased is the experience I am doing to myself of not facing myself in my own reality. Allowing these fears and beliefs about who I am chase me around day in and day out, allowing projections to direct me, allowing energy to overtake me, and not standing within these moments and saying no to here no further, and walking the process to face myself and stop. So I have just been allowing myself to torture myself into this cat and mouse game of waiting for the next judgment, waiting for the next energy burst of emotion, and waiting for the next bout of depression because I believe I am being harmed by others and people are out to get me. When all the while I have been harming myself and chasing myself into a circle of self compromise through judging myself. Time to stop this once and for all, and forgive myself and release myself from this nightmare scenario.
Looking at the above from my previous blog about being
chased in a reoccurring nightmare I have been having over the course of my
adult life, and within writing the point out, I found that this was inevitably
due to the fact that I am not becoming disciplined within my living application
to the potential that I know I am able to be. I have allowed this point of fear
of others judging me direct me and distract me from the fact that within my own
life, I am sitting and walking the same patterns I am accusing others to do. I
am not standing in full self honesty within who I am being within my reality
and standing within the potential that I know I am capable of living, which is
stopping the reactions to what others are living/acting within my reality and
taking what I perceive through my mind as a personal attack or harm done onto
me to a point where I am not moved by walking the pattern out in self
discipline and self change to direct myself in these moments in what is best.
So in essence I did come to the point above that I can not
blame or create a fear of others within a point of becoming a victim to my
reality because within myself I am seeing how I am creating it, in my mind, in
my thoughts, in my backchat, and in the moments where I allow energy
possessions and not stand within myself in a way I am satisfied with that is
stable and I am able to direct myself and the situation/environment into
solutions in common sense.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
not want to take responsibility for myself in all ways in all forms I
participate within and as, as I realize that living in a form of blaming others
for how I am experiencing myself is not real nor fact as I am doing equal to
what others are walking that I am accusing them for.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
blame others for the experience within myself because within this I then don’t
have to face the fact and myself within my own body and realize that this I am
equally responsible if not more so to stop what is being created as energy
possessions and stand within myself in ways that is self honest and best for
all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
create backchat specifically targeting others and their flaws and replay them
in my mind so I can use this as a point of distraction for myself in the time
that I see where I am able to take responsibility, but not willing to in that
moment to stand and walk it into a living application of myself because of not
wanting to be disciplined and push myself beyond my accepted limitations.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
accept and allow the limitations of momentary indulgences in points in my
reality that is imbalanced and creates a consequence that is not best for all,
but in ways is showing who I am within my integrity to not stand as life but
stay as a mind system and abuse what is here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
abuse life here and not stand within who I realize and see as my potential to
be, but continue to exist in limitations and continue to fall in moments that I
see I am able to stand within.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
abuse myself in and through my own mind, my own thoughts, and diminish myself
into someone who is not able to stand as life in the potential that I have been
gifted in this lifetime as the potential that I see I am able to live with what
I have been given.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe this desire within me to get what I want and be given energy as highs
and feeling good and positive within myself is what is real and what I want for
myself when I see, realize, and understand it is the mind moving within a survival
mode as myself in my physical body desiring to move to a point of dominance and
indulgences that is not best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
chose the mind as energy addictions in feelings and emotions instead of
disciplining myself to move through the points as I see I am able to and become
a support here for life in all ways.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my self
interest to supersede what is best for all and this I realize is the path to
hell not heaven on earth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed abuse to
life as I have accepted abuse to my self in thought, word, and deed and not
moved myself as life here walking what is best for all in all ways.
When and as I see I am able to move myself in a point of
self honest movement and I indulge in my self interest/mind, I stop and breath,
as I realize, see, and understand that this action is creating hell on this
earth as abuse to life and I realize, see, and understand that this doesn’t
make sense because life can live in the best possible potential we can create as I create this best possible potential within myself as life aligned to what is best for all.
I commit myself to let go of my desires and fears in the
moment I see they are here through committing to take a breath, do self
forgiveness in real time, and change myself in these moments to not move into
the mind but stand as my own self direction as life.
I commit myself to push this application of real time
stopping/correction in my process walking moving forward more and more in real
time living.
I commit myself to balance who I am in all I do and stand
within the self trust this will develop into as a being that is here and able
to direct myself in all areas as I have created myself in all areas equally as
balance.
I commit myself to stand within self trust through standing
in self discipline and moving myself to correction in the moment that I am
aware it is here to be walked.
I commit myself to release myself from energy addictions in
all it’s forms through breathing and walking the self correction process in real time and writing
process.
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