So over my years of being on this planet and especially into
my adulthood years I have had a reoccurring themed nightmare of being chased by
people, usually like a movie seen, guys with guns or some sort of vengeance out to
hurt me, well that is what it feels like anyway. And tonight, I also finished
the transcription to the Future of Consciousness recording done on eqafe about
Nightmares, and I suggest anyone who wants in in-depth understanding of where
nightmares come from and why we have them, to check this one out. So for me, I
want to investigate this reoccurring nightmare I have been having, within the dream, I am scared, I am
afraid of being caught by these people chasing me and being harmed. So the
energy existing within me in the dream is fear and anxiety fueled by people trying to harm me, and me always in a constant state of tension and
stress to get away from them. Obviously, these people in my dream want
something from me and they'll stop at nothing to get it, and so I have to run and become
exhausted to get to a point of safety, though this safety is never permanent
because I am always on the look out for these people and always in a state of being ready to run if I need to.
So the energy I am working with is – anxiety, fear, and
stress based on being chased and not knowing what will happen in the future.
Stress due to the fact of possibly being caught and being harmed, and having beliefs
about the people that they will harm me, I am in great danger, and I can not
relax in my own space, I am always needing to be on guard and looking out for threats
against my life by people out there, the bad people in this world.
I can see this pattern of running from people aligning with the self
judgment pattern I have been walking, I have this fear of
people that I need to be on the look out, I am always in a state of tension
because I believe people are out to harm me, and they will do so at anytime. I
am afraid of being harmed by people and so the fear is perpetuated in my
external reality because I fear people, I don’t understand them, I don’t really
get to know them, I just straight out follow my reaction of fearing them and
believing they will harm me. This causes me never really to be able to relax in my
own skin because I am always tense and stressed about what others will do to me
and this is based on my own self judgments I have created against myself, that I
am inferior and people will harm me and take advantage of me due to me not being 100
percent perfect within myself where I judge myself as not as attractive as
others and not as intelligent.
This also has developed into many forms of reactions within
myself towards others in my day to day living, so the feeling of being chased
is the experience I am doing to myself of not facing myself in my own reality.
Allowing these fears and beliefs about who I am chase me around day in and day
out, allowing projections to direct me, allowing energy to overtake me, and not
standing within these moments and saying no to here no further, and walking the
process to face myself and stop. So I have just been allowing myself to torture
myself into this cat and mouse game of waiting for the next judgment, waiting
for the next energy burst of emotion, and waiting for the next bout of
depression because I believe I am being harmed by others and people are out to get me. When all the while I have
been harming myself and chasing myself into a circle of self compromise through judging myself. Time
to stop this once and for all, and forgive myself and release myself from this
nightmare scenario.
More to come in my next blog, thanks for reading.
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