Day 22 - Sleeping for rest or for mind upgardes - i always decide

 

I have been sleeping more and more lately where i been getting up right when i need to leave, which i would like to get some things done before i leave, i see that when i first wake up, my mind is the most active, making it's way to my awareness and pulling me into itself as my self as i start participating in fears of what if. The discipline and self movement in the morning first waking up will set the day up either in more suppression and struggle or self directive will as an expression of creating myself in what is best for me and so all. Its an act of being productive through self movement, a physical get up and go and moving forward, considering my body and all my cells as myself, and in this the understanding that life is not limited in the expression of what self can do and live, there is many potentials of expression each moment. So start with the small as practically there is a limitation of what i can physically do so common sense is needed every moment, and so i practice and live this as what i can do in my day to day and in this it strengthens and builds over time. 

So after sleeping when i open my eyes, i am seeing that there is these fears of dreading the day, what i will face, and if anything uncertain will happen. I find the fears of worst case scenarios will flood my mind and in this i will become weakened in my breathing and in my letting go, i will fall into emotions and start going into self judgments and points that i myself have no control over and do not have full context. Also i have too many things i want to get done so i become unmotivated to do anything because again the belief that its too much or i don't know where to start, all just distractions really and keep me stuck in the past and in thoughts and literally in myself/my bed/physical reality. 

The understanding is to get out of the mind through breathing and letting go of the thoughts, literally let them go, if they continue without the ability to direct, going to writing is suggested to sort out what ever is repeating in ones thoughts/memories, through self investigation and self forgiveness self can flesh it out and figure out how to correct it. It takes a lot of practice, so don't give up as the mind will push this on self often, its desire is energy and not what is best for all life, so self has to take the directive pricniple back and see how to live it for self. That is the beauty of the writing and speaking self forgiveness to understand how to correct self and where, usually self knows cause it's common sense but it will be worked through as one sticks with these tools. I have not yet applied myself satisfactory in this point of letting go and walking as breath, in and out, feeling the breath feed my physical body as i as my physical embrace it and release it back to myself as the earth to them take it in and give it back for me to take in, but i see the point and i am committed to live this as myself until it is done. In essence i am seeing that it's a giving to myself as all here as i do for me i do for others and vise versa as all is one and equal. I am finding to not hold onto to anything, let it go, purify with self forgiveness and recreate self here alwasy in living principles until they are natural, they are self, who you really are, i have separated myself from life for a bit and now i am walking back to life fully, i never was fully lost, but i am actually a whole being as life, no need for separation, we are all one as the same yet equal as beings in living expression. A fascinating real-i-zation indeed and in sound. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to in the morning wake up with the belief that i am doomed for the rest of the day/my life and i have no control over the destruction of what is going to happen based on the thoughts that are coming up as in the world is scary, people are not trustworthy, the world is going to end, we are going to not make it. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for the state of the badness of the world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the state of this world and go into anger in myself when i wake up about how messed up everything is.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into worst case scenarios within and as me where i am seeing the bad only and not the expression and potentials that exist in each moment as we are here and living in this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the what ifs of this reality where life could be this way or could be that way, instead of working with what is here as myself and my self honesty where i stand within a point of self introspection and self forgiveness and let go and move forward. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the past recreating preprogrammed moments of memory that exist here in the present moment that is here and so recreate myself as mind as memory instead of living here and creating myself as life in what is best for all as common sense.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to try and figure things out with my mind instead of letting it go and seeing how life plays out and in this direct in the moment in the principles of life in what is best and doing unto another as how i'd like done onto me and in this live this as myself in the physical not in the mind as thought automation. 

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memories and the past because it feels comfortable and safe as i know what to expect and don't need to really push myself beyond my boundaries.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to push myself beyond my boundaries and not stand within a point of life giving and standing within what is best to the best of my ability.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sleep past my commitment time and not wake up due to the belief of being tired when i see i have gotten rest and i am only participating in my mind as thoughts and memories and thus allowing the mind as emotions/thoughts and feelings take over instead of self directing me here.

I commit myself to let go of the judgment and blame of myself and others, i forgive myself and live in a way of breathing and creating my day.

I commit myself to create my morning with walking up at 6am doing some writing and drinking coffee, along with exercise and prepping for the day.

I commit myself to walk up on my alarm and not stay in bed to rest. 

I commit myself to let go of the thoughts of i am tired as i see i am life and life is not tired and doesn't require to sleep but the body as the physical as me requires rest.

I commit myself to let go of fear and take responsibility for myself and share myself to support others as how i'd like to be supported.

When and as i see i want to go into thoughts and become lazy as automation, i stop and breath, i remain in breath and create myself in a way that is best for all in this moment, i will write when i am not clear and do self forgiveness until i am clear. 

I commit myself to live and do my best and bring and give this to others as a gift i can give and would like to receive as the best living potential for us all. 

more at:

desteni.org

lite.desteni.org

Living Words – Discipline – Morning Routine – Self Forgiveness and Self Change - Day 521

This is a continuation of this Blog:

My Process So Far of Living Words – Day 518

Here I am walking the living of this word discipline in a specific scenario, one that I have been challenged with and that is within the addiction to sleep. There has been a process I have been walking in relation to waking up at 5am and being productive at this time with either writing, exercising, or working in some way or another. What I have realized is that I am being controlled by the desire to sleep, the grogginess, the beliefs that I have to sleep more, the idea that sleeping is healthy, and the rest of the mind backchat that I have been participating in based on the physical programming that I have allowed where sleep feels like it is impossible to stop. Though even with this challenge I have given myself, it is not complicated, it is actually quite simplistic, it takes actions, it takes self will, it takes physical movement, and at the start it takes discipline to move beyond the programming.

So I am going to first do self forgiveness on some dimensions I found in my last blog you can find here, and correct those dimensions so they are clear within me, first one is the dimension that I am attaching the emotion of anxiety to the word discipline because I have created a belief that if I am going to walk discipline I have to succeed within it, if I fail then I will be showing myself that I am not actually what I hope I am, and that is disciplined.

Self forgiveness on anxiety, expectation, and hope in relation to the word discipline:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach an emotion of anxiety to the word discipline based on a fear that I will not succeed within what it is that I am desiring to be disciplined within and through that create a hope that I will be this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a reaction of hope based on the thought and picture of me being disciplined within my living where I see that I could be this successful person who is disciplined and within this I could be hard working, and this is what I desire for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a failure if I don’t live up to this desire of myself within the picture I have created of being successful in my disciplined action and within this create the anxiety if I don’t fall and don’t live up to my expectation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an expectation that I have to succeed within this in a way that is quick and powerful, where I show that I am strong and can do anything, based on the hope that this is how I am when I see, realize, and understand this is being created within my mind with energy, and is in fact not who I am, as I only realize, see, and understand who I am by walking the process of living the word discipline to my highest potential and within this, I see, realize, and understand this will continue to expand as I live it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a picture of my dad as the example I am living up to as a point of discipline and within this create an idea of what I have to do and how I have to live as this absolute discipline he lives where he walks his day specifically and with discipline, but for me I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that he too walked a process to get to where he is at, and within me, I am not defined nor limited by a picture in my head of what I have to be like as this process is unique to who I am and what I will create in my process as I redefine and live the word discipline within the creation of myself each moment.

When and as I see I am going into a point of self sabotage with the belief that I have to be successful and like my dad, I stop and breath, and realize that I don’t need to define myself by any of these pictures and energy, but can move within a point of self will, walking moment to moment, and realize that who I am within this process is in self creation as I redefine and recreate myself as the living word discipline.

I commit myself to let go of the pictures in my mind of what I need to be like and focus on moving myself here through the challenges with physical will power.

I commit myself to let go of the pictures in my mind of what I need to be like instead of moving here breath by breath and creating who I am based on the moment and what is needed to live in my highest potential.

I commit myself to push myself beyond my resistances and move into disciplined living.


The next point I am seeing is living in the past, where I desire to be able to sleep in and have it like it was with no worries or cares, indulging in the satisfaction of sleeping to my desire is filled, this I will walk self forgiveness on:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a desire of being able to live how it use to be, where I was ignorant and in that in bliss, not having to take responsibility and stand within a way of integrity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a belief that it was better in the past when I could sleep in and not have a care in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have the life I once had were I could sleep all I wanted, get up and do nothing I wanted, without any consideration or care as to the effect I am having on my own well being and that of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into hope, hoping I can just live how I once have and just let things be easy and simply.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the past where I wasn’t taking responsibility for myself was simple and easy, when I see, realize, and understand that I wasn’t doing what I could be and living in a way that is detrimental to others and myself by existing in separation and limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access this desire of hope where I want to soak up in this feeling of comfort, peace, and serenity as I remember what it is like to lie in the comfort of my bed in the escape of sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with this feeling of desire and peace in thinking about sleep, when I am ignoring the fact that it cause the mind to permeate deeper into the physical and is in the background slowly killing life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to slowly kill life due to the feelings I am generating through the thoughts of comfort and peace within my mind as thoughts of sleeping, when I see, realize, and understand that this is not real, this is a point of self abdication to stand within my own self responsibility, and do whatever it takes to align myself with what is best and stand equal and one with life here as breath.

When and as I see I am going into this energy based memory of sleeping in the past, where the feelings of comfort, peace, and serenity comes up, I stop and breath, and realize that this is a distraction and abdication of myself as life in the fact that I am responsible to stand within equality with the physical and stop allowing the mind to take over and direct me here.

I commit to breath through these desires to have the feelings of what it was like in the past where I could sleep and do whatever I wanted in ignorance.

I commit myself to ground myself in the word what is best, life, and here as physical.

I commit myself to be disciplined in the morning and wake up after 4-6 hours of sleep so I rest the body and stop the mind from integrating more.

Next blog, I will walk the redefined word of discipline and start walking a process with waking up early to more set in stone the way forward with this example.

 More links to support:

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

My Process So Far of Living Words – Day 518

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I have been walking the process of living words for a bit of time now, I can’t put a number on it, but actively I have been walking it for the past many months. This actually is something that I have been doing for most of my life, living words, but not in a way of actively directing myself within it and making decisions as to when and how I will live words, it has more been automatic in what seemingly came natural to me or what I was good at. So let me start with sharing what living words means, this is when you decide to first find a pattern in your life that you want to change, for instance, becoming more disciplined. To live this word, first it is important to investigate all the scenarios of the word that you can see so you can understand yourself within it, though you will also be discovering and uncovering new ways to live the word as you go on living your life, so this process is ongoing one. It is quite something because you are creating yourself, expand more and more of yourself into and as your world.

I will walk a living word process with the word discipline to support with showing why I live words as well as how to do this, this always to expand myself and support myself to be better, and this always to create a world that is best for all. My goal is life and living in a way that is my highest potential and showing everyone else that we all can do this as well. Imagine a world where every human being is living there words in a way that is their highest potential, and they realize this is possible because they are in fact doing it themselves. So lots of potential we have, and this process I have found supports with living that out for each one who ventures into it, living words is a way to self create.

Within the word discipline there are areas in my life where I was already living this, in my work and also in my responsibilities towards others day to day, so I am living this word in some areas so I recognized in my life what this looks like in these specific scenarios. This is where I mentioned earlier that you will discover that many words are already being lived by yourself, we are living words anyway, what we think will eventually be lived. So it’s important it from self and based on a direct understanding of who you are within it. In this process, there is an emphasis on living words that will support with changing self to be my highest potential. This goal will eventually create a better version of who I am as I expand myself more and more in living words, such as the word discipline that I am going to expand myself within through this very process I am writing out. I have had trouble being disciplined when it comes to waking up in the morning and getting tasks done before work, this is something that I have been wanting to do, but I have been allowing the addiction to sleep sway me from living my potential in this area and be more productive during my early morning.

In this scenario with expanding myself in the area of my life where I am not disciplined in, getting out of bed early and getting tasks done before work, I will have to create and expand myself in the living of this word in this scenario. Here redefining the word is supportive, something that not many do I would say and within this process of redefining words, I use self forgiveness and self corrective statements to better understand the different dimensions of myself I have attached to the word discipline. For instance, I have attached the emotion of anxiety to the word discipline because I have a fear that I will not live up to this word and what I am desiring to be disciplined in, and so will fail. This causing me anxiety as I have assessed myself as someone who is able to be strong and move through all challenges, if I do not stand within the word discipline and do what it is I am wanting to do, but slack off and sleep in, I will have proven to myself that I am not disciplined and so this is something I resist showing to myself.

So as you see within investigating for just a moment, I have already uncovered three dimensions of this word discipline that is causing me to resist and so not push myself to in fact move out of the pattern of sleeping in and becoming productive before the work day starts.

In my next blog I will walk through the next step I have been doing in the processing of living words, through investigating the word within me and understanding who I am in relation to it, walking self forgiveness and self correction to live within this word, and then redefining the word to live in my life and beyond. I will be on the self forgiveness and self correction to the word discipline in the few dimensions that I spoke on above, thanks for reading and see you tomorrow.

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
http://www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Day 31- I Just want to Sleep

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to sleep in and not have to get up and move myself to get to work on time because its routinish and I don't enjoy living in a routinish type of lifestyle.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into desires to have it a certain way in my world so I can feel good by sleeping in and getting extra me time to just be able to do what I want within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to cause the abuse of life within and as this point of wanting me myself and I's happiness through giving good feelings to myself by sleeping in and getting that extra time to not have to go do my responsibilities.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept the resistances of facing my day and what I have to do within and as each of my responsibilities and thus go in to dread and a want to get out.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to sleep to have the comfort and warmness encase me for a few more seconds, but within this it's within the idea and desire to put off what I have to do for one or two more moments accepting and allowing myself to accumulate consequence as moments add up and I end of wasting a lot of time I could be using to be practical and get things done.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel guilty when I sleep in and accept myself to indulge in the desire to just sleep away.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept the thoughts that I am so tired and thus must sleep to feel better within this using it to sleep long hours and more then I realize is required.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use sleep as an escape instead of what its for practically to rest my physical for a moment and thus get up after enough time has been spent resting which I have tested is only 6 hours.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting  the thought that sleep is the only thing that makes me feel happy, sleep is the best missing myself here within and as life and thus judging my life as hard and strenuous because I am pushing through resistances and within this accepting the mind as tiredness which is in itself a resistance.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge life as hard and strenuous instead of being here standing stable and simply walking what needs to be walked, there is no sense in sulking in the inevitable of walking and correcting myself so thus it's simply to walk it and face it.

I forgive myself for allowing an accepting feelings and emotions direct me into escapism, and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use sleep as an escape instead of a rest for a moment for my physical.

When and as this point comes up to sleep as an escape, I breath, get up out of bed, and walk my day. I realize this is what must be done is practical physical movement, and just living here in what has to be done for what is best for all which is best for me allways.

I commit to stop trying to escape through sleep and move myself to live my decision of standing as life and walking self change to stand equal and one to all in this world.

I commit to stop emotions and feelings direct me, and walk practicality here in common sense living.