A Lady's Journey to Life: The Energy Within Creates the Actions Without

So today, I had a reaction at work and this is based on me giving into the energy I accepted as myself as anger and blame due to a point not being fulfilled that I expected to be done. Now within this, I already know where my responsibility is, I already see what I COULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY, but didn’t, and I see now that it is done and in the past. I sit here in breath and walk the self forgiveness and self corrections to establish a point of direction for myself and clarity so I can do what is best in the next breaths that are here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an energy reaction at work for an expectation I had created within my mind that specific tasks should be done on time and completely, and react in blame and anger when my expectation wasn’t met.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this reaction approach another and create a conflict with them as well as continue to fuel this energy that is now building within me to yell and get my energy out on this other because I am in anger and creating a justification within myself why I can do this through the blame I have accepted as myself and projected onto others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify and project the blame within me and anger as it’s another’s fault cause they didn’t do what they were suppose, when I realize I am doing the same thing, by not completing my fulfillments as a point of responsibility I hold within myself to find solutions and do what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into blame and anger and desire to give this out to others while not once checking myself and seeing where I was at in terms of my responsibility and what the reality actually was in that moment with all involved through communication and fact cross-referencing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach my day at work within expectations of what should be done, and thus not focus on my responsibilities within what I have to do, but focus on others jobs that they are not doing.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to slow down and find a solution to these issues that are not working within the tasks that are needed to be done, and come to a point of solution for these points so there is steps in place to compensate for these tasks not being done, and thus this will alleviate me from having to keep a belief of myself that I have to monitor this when in reality I am not doing this in fact, but pointing fingers and creating conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded within what I am doing and what needs to be done in actual physical reality based on the preconceived ideas that the specific points are disorganized and they will never be fixed because they haven’t yet been fixed and this has been a point ongoing, and so have the belief within myself that I am the only one that cares to fix them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I care more then others about the success of the this point and the tasks at hand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of blame onto others based on my beliefs of what should be while missing the reality of what in fact is by communicating with others and finding what is the cause of them not having tasks done on time or that something was misaligned.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the starting point to when I sit at my desk and open my computer that I am going to be irritated because the jobs are not going to be done properly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in energy as my starting point when I sit at my desk and open my computer because I accept the thought within me that ‘things are going to be disorganized’ and then I look for this to be so, and when I find it I validate my thought and so go into the energy of irritation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow and participate in the thought of ‘things are going to be disorganized’ when I sit at my desk and turn on my computer instead of stopping the thought and being unconditional within each moment, and so work from what is here in each moment, breath by breath and stop the illusion within my mind as this thought that ‘things are going to be disorganized’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the past and thus create a point of the past as my guide for what is to come, continuing within the cycle of the past repeating itself because I am creating it that way by continually existing in the same points each time they are triggered when I sit at my desk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reaction rather then move myself through the reaction into breath and stabilize myself to be clear and not be in reaction any longer and thus stop the abuse I am causing by stopping myself as the abuse within my mind as the thoughts which create and activate the energy that I use to fuel my ego in self interest rather then doing what is best for all by considering all and this can only be done in breath here in stability and clarity through correction and stopping the mind in each moment until it no longer has influence over my directive will but I direct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue in the thoughts of ‘he is so rude and irresponsible’ and continue cycling in this thought refueling the energy until it was released at another time where I talked to others about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the conversation in a point of preplanned desires to expose this person and so not for what is best for all, but for my own personal pleasure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expose another in my own pleasure as to be ‘right’ and so another ‘wrong’ and thus boost my ego and make myself feel better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see what I was doing and still decide to go into the energy and create a point of competition about the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chose my ego as gaining good feelings, thus pleasure energy to win rather then breathing, becoming stable, and finding the solutions that will support the point to be best for all in the end and so put myself in the shoes of the other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my self interest to exist in the mind only and gain something for myself and not consider the abuse I was causing within the outflows of my words/actions that I lived.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be an ego in illusion that abuse life rather then be an example for others/self as how I would like to be treated and do what is best for all to create more balance within life and so stop the abuse as the win/lose polarity game for energy/ego.

When and as I see I am going into a starting point through the thoughts in my head of blame or projection into the future or past, I stop and breath, and I realize that this will cause conflict and abuse because I am not in physical reality in breath, but in my mind the whole time as I cycle within the thoughts throughout the day as I am not stopping my participation within them. I realize by staying within and fueling thoughts they will eventually accumulate to an outburst, where self interest and conflict is the consequence and this cause abuse.

I commit myself to not move myself until I am clear within myself where I have stopped participation in the cycle of thoughts through clearing it through self forgiveness and self commitments.

I commit myself to live my commitments of stopping participation in thoughts through stopping participation in the energy as well.

I commit myself to breath when I see energy is being generated, and clear it until I am stable.

I commit myself to not react when in energy, but wait a day or two until I am clear to speak on a point.

I commit myself to get up and physically remove myself from the environment when I see I am reacting in energy until I am cleared and stable and no longer reacting in through writing and self introspection and self correction.

I commit myself to do this regardless if I see I am right or justified as I realize this is the mind and this is not valid as being ‘right’ and ‘justified’ is not taking responsibility for myself as the whole, and so coming to the all moments unconditionally to create a platform where solutions that are best for all can be established through common sense and self honesty.

I commit myself to communicate with others when I am clear on the point and no more in reaction, and so being clear to discuss different perspectives and find solutions within myself and with others to walk the necessary steps to clear the point that is needing work or is creating a misalignment in any given situation.

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