Day 13 - Restart - self discipline

I have been very unmotivated and feeling in a depressed state, I have fallen a lot these last few years really badly at times and it's been quite difficult to get back on my feet. The falls and the digging deep into regret and unknown circumstances created by not standing in what is best at the opportunities that are here that life give, when I miss those it's like getting back up from harden cement, painful, difficult, and makes one want to give up. Giving up seems quite cool as a solution in this state for a moment, like the mcdonalds of things, taste good in the moment, but after digestion and the body having to deal and face with the consequences, self feel it, the pain, hardship and the difficulty, so it's a matter of how much do one want to bear. For me, I am not wanting to bear any form of suffering or pain and definitely don't want to inflict it on others as well, though the understanding of falls does bear consequences and in this what requires action is in the physical, here as the breathe of life is gifting me the life tools of with self forgiveness, self corrective writing/sounding, and living the change. Making the forgiveness of self actionable and livable here in my life and so in this can then correct the outcomes to come and stop the consequences of harm/abuse and falling to be that which is best for all and best for self. 

This starts with self discipline, moving beyond limitations and self beliefs/ideas, I am going to start with daily blogging and in this living my self forgiveness as i blog/write and exist in my world. Self discipline the action of self that is required to do these actions and keep going, not giving up, especially in the times when it's difficult and one do want to give up/give in. No judgment but breathing and living here. 

Discipline definition - 

" is the self-control that is gained by requiring that rules or orders be obeyed, and the ability to keep working at something that is difficult.[1] Disciplinarians believe that such self-control is of the utmost importance and enforce a set of rules that aim to develop such behavior. Such enforcement is sometimes based on punishment, although there is a clear difference between the two. One way to convey such differences is through the root meaning of each word: discipline means “to teach”, while punishment means “to correct or cause pain”. While punishment might extinguish unwanted behavior in the moment, it is greatly effective long-term due to consequences being understood and societal retribution to wrongs committed , while discipline usually is the process of training self control.[2]" from wikpedia.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent within my daily actions of bettering myself and my environment based on becoming too much wrapped in my thoughts and self judgment and so lack the discipline of doing what i understand requires to be done to get myself moving and expanding beyond my limitations.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into my mind and think about the past and in this become unmotivated based on self judgment and in this lose my desire and perseverance to move and remain discipline to my principles and goals i set out for myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i don't have to be disciplined anymore due to my fall and that i have no hope to become life and stand in a way of honor of life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i have no reason to be discipline due to a fall and in this believe i can just float.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thoughts that i can float when i see, realize, and understand there is consequences within this and that it is much more advantageous to stand up and get back to self discipline and the principles of life that i stand as and for as what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe being self discipline is too hard instead of just doing it. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to move into a form of self harm where i believe i am not worth it or have value and so i don't need to be disciplined because it won't matter anyway.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to accept the self deprecating thoughts of i am not worth it and so no need to remain disciplined with myself in actions that support myself and life as a whole.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not worthy and connect that to be lazy and giving up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am lazy and can give up, when i see, realize, and understand that this is not real and that life is always here to align with and stand as as this i understand is what is real and who i am for real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am unworthy and so allow the emotions of giving up where i go into a tiredness in my body and numbness and in this believe i can't do it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into the energy that i can't do it instead of staying within and as the act of self discipline where i continue to move beyond my limitations and expand to what is here within life measure and what is possible.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed tiredness and heaviness come over me as a point of wanting to give up instead of breathing through these moments in the moment and continue to walk the steps of self change as self action through self discipline. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the past and my misstakes and int his continue to let go of the past and change myself here through self discipline and living action plans aligned with principles. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i can't do it instead of just doing it step by step.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think rather then acting in the moment. 

I commit myself to move into self discipline within my day to day actions where i see the thoughts of giving up or feeling unworthy and in this i use the living word self discipline to move through and beyond these thoughts and into physical action where real change of myself can happen and i can help myself and so help others. 

I commit myself to let go of the tiredness and heaviness emotions by breathing through the energy and doing what it is physical i am avoiding. 

I commit myself to use the living word discipline to stand and walk physical through the resistance to get the point step by step in motion as physical action.

I commit myself to make goals for myself to achieve and support my daily habits to be that of self discipline where i control my actions as outcomes to be best for me and so best for all.

I commit myself to do daily habits as my daily routine that practice discipline.

I commit myself to stop judging myself in the moment and breathe, and continue to live in the physical and become real by physically acting on my principles and commitments to make them real and best. 

I commit myself to let go of the thoughts as they come as my past and continue to move physical releasing the thoughts through breathe and self forgiveness as sound. 

www.desteni.org

www.equalmoney.org

www.creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

Self Help course to start the journey to life:

lite.desteniiprocess.com

Best for all life until it's done.

Desteni Process - After a Fall, Self Forgiveness is a gift

 

My self realization after a fall, self forgiveness has been a gift to be used to support a world that is best for all life 

Desteni Support - self forgiveness is a gift for self here

#desteni #bernardpoolman #lifesupport #portal #selfforgiveness #changeselfforlife

—Children’s eyes—

Situations come and go, but self always remain, death due us part where life comes to say, who stand in honor, those who have stood the test of time to rebirth for the children to come in joy as divine. 

The children of this world, oh how ive fell short. They deserve better, they deserve the best, but self interest comes and takes it’s girth, consuming to consume and fill selfs belly in spite. 

Sucking dry the human in shame, as i hang my head low i can’t bear what remains. Remains of me after such atrocious visions, children starve on our televisions, how can we live in such a world as this. 

There will be a day where life takes its keep, the children will remain and be free that is for sure, as it should be, without this mighty gore. 

The human who do not stand as life, that is what must be eradicated, the mind demons, we all have it, it is not hidden. 

Self forgiveness with self honesty will surely help us rise, to again be able to face our children in the eyes. Doing our best for all as what is life’s measure in equality and oneness, its greater then any mind treasure. Fear not as thats useless and cause fret and horror, be brave and stand firm, it will one day be over.

--Consequence-- day 12

--Consequence-- 

Consequence, a dread hangs over me, a fear so deep i can not sleep 

Sleep becoming tough as i find my will is shakened

in the face of this beast i have made my bed forsaken

I don't know why i was so foolish and lacked common sense, 

the sense of the (wo)man that have no life friends 

why harm life in such ways to build such an army 

an army of my demons there here and they found me 

the demons is myself as my thoughts, feelings, and emotions 

the mind as the enemy oh no that has always been my homie 

so good and so glad when all was going well, 

but when consequence came a knocking, i knew it was going to be hell 

though this is not the fate of all, oh no, there is courage 

the courage to face self where we are called, oh let's hurry 

called by life itself 

no more games no more playing, time to strap my boots on and build that will 

brick by brick, word by word, step by step 

self forgiveness is here and will be our sure siren 

sirening us to move and take action before it's too late 

consequence is here, sorry death is no escape

Little birdie blue and a pear - day 11

Little blue birdie sitting on a perch

Smelling the air, it seeks out its lover

Who just landed on a pear 🍐 

The pear sits there for anyone to take

Unconditionally it gives no matter the snake

The snake comes and slithers, and digs his fangs in

It sucks up the nutrients and begins his journey again

The pear half eaten falls onto the ground,

Where the blue bird flys and eats some he found

It was splattered across the pavement as the pear fell to earth, 

with no one hearing its whistle

he knew where this would go, no worry no cause, life does go on

it's out the bum of the bird and the snake who had there fill for this day

The blue bird flys away full and sustained, and grateful he was as he meets his mate again

-the mighty discipline- Day 10

i strive for excellence, when the flow is for negligence, why do i allow such hardship and danger

the breath is here for all to grasp and live, but self kick back and just relax like who cares! 

relax we can, but duty call, this life is for all, come one and come all 

discipline is the name of this life practice self walk

a lonely road though it's got it's costs 

cost far greater then any could imagine 

cause it's real and its grander then what the books call 'climbing the ladder' 

no need to climb or tussle and bussle 

but step by step action is all you need to stay out of trouble 

life is here to guide as the beacon it is 

self can forgive and be silent, for sure, i am here 

it's not for the faint of heart but strong in one's valor 

discipline oh discipline a mighty friend indeed 

give it one's all and answer that call, the discipline of self is waiting 

A Hope - Day 9

a hope -

 a hope is a dream that will never manifest 

don't' hope but live as this is one's resonance 

the resonance is the core of self in a sound environment 

life is the breathe that give one value here 

don't waste this breathe as it's the key to eternal bestowment 

i stand as one among many who are all that's meant 

meant for life living, but we're(Self) not there yet

don't give up, don't give in, persevere young student, you can sit when you stand!

what is the point - day 8

 what is the point

what is the point to anything that's done

why do the things done have to have a point

is the point to make a whole lot of money

is the point to win big and show off your honey

is the point to become star and reap the rewards of the rich and famous

or is it to be 

here free

where self is the start and the end

where there is life from the center rippling out to the eternal

i know this is who i am, time to live it to become it again

Standing in the dawn - day 7

standing in the dawn

 i stand in the dawn of my actions of the day 

i have not filled my keep, no i have given it all away 

to a blindness that seeps and seeps until it drowns out 

this blindness it comes no shadow no doubt 

it test the self that is the truth of the breath that gives life 

I squander so easily this breath as life shows full out 

as i hear screams, and crys, and wales, and horrors, is the life of the human - we have come and we've conquored 

not the correct conquering i have realized in disgrace, as life is me and i will see the squander i've allowed to the end 

it's sad as a life that did not give it's hand, the hand of another as it grasp in a care, a caring hand is what is needed especially in the end. 

the end of the lies and dishonesties of self, the truth to stand throughout as this is all that we have by word and by mouth

the gift of life is true and self face this grace, amazing grace it'll be when the child care is seen without.