Day 13 - Restart - self discipline

I have been very unmotivated and feeling in a depressed state, I have fallen a lot these last few years really badly at times and it's been quite difficult to get back on my feet. The falls and the digging deep into regret and unknown circumstances created by not standing in what is best at the opportunities that are here that life give, when I miss those it's like getting back up from harden cement, painful, difficult, and makes one want to give up. Giving up seems quite cool as a solution in this state for a moment, like the mcdonalds of things, taste good in the moment, but after digestion and the body having to deal and face with the consequences, self feel it, the pain, hardship and the difficulty, so it's a matter of how much do one want to bear. For me, I am not wanting to bear any form of suffering or pain and definitely don't want to inflict it on others as well, though the understanding of falls does bear consequences and in this what requires action is in the physical, here as the breathe of life is gifting me the life tools of with self forgiveness, self corrective writing/sounding, and living the change. Making the forgiveness of self actionable and livable here in my life and so in this can then correct the outcomes to come and stop the consequences of harm/abuse and falling to be that which is best for all and best for self. 

This starts with self discipline, moving beyond limitations and self beliefs/ideas, I am going to start with daily blogging and in this living my self forgiveness as i blog/write and exist in my world. Self discipline the action of self that is required to do these actions and keep going, not giving up, especially in the times when it's difficult and one do want to give up/give in. No judgment but breathing and living here. 

Discipline definition - 

" is the self-control that is gained by requiring that rules or orders be obeyed, and the ability to keep working at something that is difficult.[1] Disciplinarians believe that such self-control is of the utmost importance and enforce a set of rules that aim to develop such behavior. Such enforcement is sometimes based on punishment, although there is a clear difference between the two. One way to convey such differences is through the root meaning of each word: discipline means “to teach”, while punishment means “to correct or cause pain”. While punishment might extinguish unwanted behavior in the moment, it is greatly effective long-term due to consequences being understood and societal retribution to wrongs committed , while discipline usually is the process of training self control.[2]" from wikpedia.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent within my daily actions of bettering myself and my environment based on becoming too much wrapped in my thoughts and self judgment and so lack the discipline of doing what i understand requires to be done to get myself moving and expanding beyond my limitations.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into my mind and think about the past and in this become unmotivated based on self judgment and in this lose my desire and perseverance to move and remain discipline to my principles and goals i set out for myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i don't have to be disciplined anymore due to my fall and that i have no hope to become life and stand in a way of honor of life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i have no reason to be discipline due to a fall and in this believe i can just float.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thoughts that i can float when i see, realize, and understand there is consequences within this and that it is much more advantageous to stand up and get back to self discipline and the principles of life that i stand as and for as what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe being self discipline is too hard instead of just doing it. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to move into a form of self harm where i believe i am not worth it or have value and so i don't need to be disciplined because it won't matter anyway.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to accept the self deprecating thoughts of i am not worth it and so no need to remain disciplined with myself in actions that support myself and life as a whole.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not worthy and connect that to be lazy and giving up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am lazy and can give up, when i see, realize, and understand that this is not real and that life is always here to align with and stand as as this i understand is what is real and who i am for real.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am unworthy and so allow the emotions of giving up where i go into a tiredness in my body and numbness and in this believe i can't do it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into the energy that i can't do it instead of staying within and as the act of self discipline where i continue to move beyond my limitations and expand to what is here within life measure and what is possible.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed tiredness and heaviness come over me as a point of wanting to give up instead of breathing through these moments in the moment and continue to walk the steps of self change as self action through self discipline. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the past and my misstakes and int his continue to let go of the past and change myself here through self discipline and living action plans aligned with principles. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i can't do it instead of just doing it step by step.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think rather then acting in the moment. 

I commit myself to move into self discipline within my day to day actions where i see the thoughts of giving up or feeling unworthy and in this i use the living word self discipline to move through and beyond these thoughts and into physical action where real change of myself can happen and i can help myself and so help others. 

I commit myself to let go of the tiredness and heaviness emotions by breathing through the energy and doing what it is physical i am avoiding. 

I commit myself to use the living word discipline to stand and walk physical through the resistance to get the point step by step in motion as physical action.

I commit myself to make goals for myself to achieve and support my daily habits to be that of self discipline where i control my actions as outcomes to be best for me and so best for all.

I commit myself to do daily habits as my daily routine that practice discipline.

I commit myself to stop judging myself in the moment and breathe, and continue to live in the physical and become real by physically acting on my principles and commitments to make them real and best. 

I commit myself to let go of the thoughts as they come as my past and continue to move physical releasing the thoughts through breathe and self forgiveness as sound. 

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Gift’s in Life: Giving Unconditional Support – Day 457

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When I look at unconditional support I see the principle of give as I would like to receive as well as the principle of doing what is best for all, these two points void the action of self interest in anyway. Self interest being the interest of yourself over the well being of others. Giving unconditional support is an action of putting yourself in the shoes of another and supporting them in a way that is understanding from where they are at, how they have created themselves, where their frame of mind is, and considering what is best for them in the context of common sense and living that within what you do. This will require one to transcend self interest, and face fears because this action will push self to step outside of one’s comfort zone and put yourself out there.

So in my last blog, Henri my dog showed me what it is to be unconditional with others as he supports human beings in our processes of aligning with life, standing as life, and living equal to life that is within all species. I have found some points within myself that have prevented me from standing as a support in an unconditional way and I see it is due to the fact of living in self interest and not wanting to let go of this completely so I can stand as this support for others to support what is best for all and for others to have the opportunity to live in this way as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see unconditional support as a action of giving I am not able to achieve because of the emotions and feelings involved within these actions when I see I have the opportunity come up to live this out.

I forgive myself I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the experiences of emotion and feeling that come up in the moments where I see I am able to give support to another in an unconditional way, then I don’t, is too much and too overwhelming to actually move through and give the support that is necessary that’ll move the other into a point of opportunity for self realization in what is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the energy experiences I am existing within as a point of stopping myself from moving into the living application of unconditional support with others because within this I am hiding and suppressing the fact that I don’t want to give up my self interest of being comfortable and not pushing myself beyond my perceive limits that I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that others are not worth my time and/or effort to support as I have created a negative relationship attachment to them based on an emotional experiences I have attached to them from my past moments with them.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take another’s actions and words personally and see it as something being done unto me instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding they are living out a mind system program and is not personal to me, but in a way required to be lived out until they see themselves who they are and can change it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others in a sense where I believe I am more then or righteous within my actions based on who I perceive myself to be in relation to them, and so create a belief that I act in specific ways to my liking or my self interest and so miss and subvert the opportunity to support this other being unconditionally as how I would like to be supported.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am more then other’s in this life due to the path I have walked in my life and how I have created myself as my life to this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see other’s in a way that is  separate from me where I follow thoughts, judgments, beliefs as emotional/feeling experiences within me to define and so determine who I will be toward them rather then letting go of my mind as the self definition I have created as myself based on system designs of personality, and so move into life as a being that is self directed moving within common sense and what is best in the moment for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my self interest above what is best for all in moments due to the fear of missing out on something that I desire and so create the cycle of fear/desire and missed opportunities and abuse in my wake as I continue to live within self interest as my mind in alternate realities, and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of fear of loss and live within the actions of the physical in what is best for all as this will always be here to walk and will always support what is best in all that is created which is the highest potential and so what is in fact life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my ego to walk unconditional support due to the belief that I will be hurt and abused and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear abuse and pain in this life when I see, realize, and understand that pain and abuse is moments in time that may occur though I realize these moments do not define me and so can be transcended within the action of doing what is best for all in that moment and so living my highest potential in that moment I am able to which will define who I am and so within this living walk what is best for all which is in alignment with life as who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to direct me into self suppression of who I really am due to accepting and allowing these thoughts as judgments, pictures, imaginations, memories, and defining myself by the energy that is generated through thinking and participating within these mind dimensions, instead of standing stable, breathing, moving through these mind dimensions in understanding and self discipline to stop and not accept and allow myself to continue within them, but walk the correction process in that moment which if I breath and move and see, a solution will be created and I will have the correction process to be walked in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see difference in this world as a bad thing and something that is separating us from each other, instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding the design of this current existence as mind consciousness system and the outflows of this as system designs each human has created and molded as themselves, but can be seen and distinguished to better understand each individual and so find ways to support the person in an unconditional way that will bring about what is best for all and what is best for the moment to create what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge life here within energy experiences in my physical through beliefs I have created of myself based on thoughts, memories, and self interest.

More to come in my next blog, self commitments as well. Thanks for reading. 

Suggested additional Support on the topic:

Day 700: De-Miser - The Art of Unconditional Support  By Cerise Poolman

Give and Receive - The Soul of Money
How to Give Unconditionally in Your Relationship - The Metaphysical S…

Purifying Love and the Sounding of Self Forgiveness - Atlanteans' Sup…

Animals on Eqafe

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Equal Life Foundation - Site

Day 97 - I am a Loner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live into this character of being a loner where I avoid becoming intimate with others due to fear of vulnerability as I have formed a mistrust with all others in my world where I do not accept them to be close to me nor me be close to them because of fear of abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being abused by others because I am locked within the memories of being abused by others within and as my world and thus will not accept myself to become vulnerable as I have formed a mistrust within all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the abuse in my past and thus form a mistrust within all life here showing and revealing that I don’t trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be an abuser where I abuse life in thought and make it so I am the top in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be on top due to seeing myself on the bottom and thus creating the polarity of top and bottom to exist for me instead of living who I am as equal with all from and as physical life that is here as we breath and live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to be on top based on this fear of survival as I have defined myself by survival because I am living as memory and thus missing me here, missing life, missing myself in the physical because of fear of abuse.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear living and becoming a being who can face all points within who I am because I have not made the decision to stand no matter what and become absolute within my self discipline in where I walk the physical in each breath.

When and as I find myself going to the thoughts of self sabotage as fear, I stop and breath, and thus move me physically within the physical actions I am doing meaning become aware of how I am moving within my physical, and make a decision each and every breath to stop the thoughts, I am not thoughts, thoughts are mind thus not real, I am the physical here so thus to be this I must create myself as this by becoming absolute in my stand and walking self discipline till it is me and I breath here.

I commit myself to walk the point of facing my fears of others where in I do not accept myself to go into this loner character where I avoid the conversation or sharing myself within and as breath and thus I go into the point in self honesty to thus catch all the points that I see that do not allow me to express here and create separation/mistrust.

I commit myself to walk self trust within applying myself within self forgiveness, self honesty, and self correction in action and thus will be able to trust myself with all others and not be defined by reactions or internal conversations as I have the points able to be walked through the application of the tools to self freedom.

I commit myself to walk self trust by getting to know myself, who I am within myself, and thus stopping the thoughts and reactions with others and breathing to become stable within my living.

I commit myself to stop polarities within equalizing myself within my day to day living by stopping the thoughts and reactions to thus be able to live here in physical reality and walk as stability.

I commit to walk through my memories and apply self forgiveness to thus be able to walk through all points within what come up in my life so thus I always have a point of stability in which I can move and equalize myself with what is here.

I commit myself to walk within all points until I am here stable able to stand within all points that I will face by creating myself here new in a character that breath and live as physical only living what is best for all in absolute dedication to self here one and equal in self honesty and self corrective measures I realize is me.

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