A Lady's Journey to Life: February 2015

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Redefining Patience – Impatience: Thought Dimension - Day 450

Blog Related to this Series:

This past week I was with my family on vacation, there was children there as well as preteen girls where I found impatient came up quite often. I will use these memories to walk some self forgiveness on the dimensions of impatience I am still acting in. This for the living correction process I will be walking to live the redefined word of Patience I started this series off with, please see the link for this blog.

One memory in particular that comes up is when my niece was holding money and wouldn’t give it to my mom, we needed it quick because of a toll we were approaching. My niece was frustrated because she wanted to go to the store and get goodies, and we were not going to take her. Within this moment, I had a backchat thought of ‘this kid is so spoiled’ (she was having a temper tantrum), I reached back and grabbed the money out of her hand and yelled at her. She then reacted to me by yelling, so it was not a successful interaction and I did not take responsibility for myself as the adult and allowed myself to react in anger and cause abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the thought that ‘she is so spoiled’ and so move within this starting point as the energy that came up as anger in relation to this thought and grab the money from her causing her to react even more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of impatience when I justified the thought of ‘she is so spoiled’ and then allowed the anger to overtake me so I could release it again onto my niece based on a blame that she was the cause of it because she ‘is spoiled’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move into a point of impatience when I see a thought come up where I can use it to blame another for the experience I am having to not then have to face myself in this moment and stop myself from going into this energy release of justification and blame as the impatient experience came over me and I used it to release my built up frustration that I hadn’t directed onto my niece.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my niece for my own abdication of stopping my own mind as thoughts and energies and create consequence and abuse to her and her world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for what I was doing myself in that moment of not hearing her out and coming to an agreement as a stable point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my mind as thoughts instead of who and how I am being in physical reality toward others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others in this world instead of stopping the abuse within myself by taking responsibility for my actions and so stopping the consequential outflow I created through following thoughts and acting in reaction based on listening to this thought.

Self correction to follow in the next blog, thanks.

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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Living the Word Patience - Part 1 - Day 449

Redefinition of the word Patience:

Pa- t - essence

Pay attention to essences –

What is the definition of essences?
A property or group of properties of something without which it would not exist or be what it is.

So the essences of ourselves that makes us exist is life, we are life on an intrinsic level and exist because we have been given through our physical bodies the existence of who we are now as human beings able to live on this earth. So this essence that has come up within my re-definition of the word patience is what I would refer to as the essence of who each one is as life. Without this essence of life, then we would not exist and we would not be here living. No life is thus not here, which then is not existing.

So within patience I for myself see within not adhering to this action it is based on myself rushing in energy, moving within an energy on a level where I miss life and separate myself from all the life that is here in my environment. Within separating myself from this essence that is here as the life essence that exist within all, I can easily go into reaction, following thoughts, getting overtaken by emotions as energies, not being aware of my breath, and creating consequences that have an effect that is harmful and creates abuse. This is so because as was describe in the word redefinition I posted, I am not giving attention to the other as life equal to myself, but becoming emotional and my behavior in reaction is not withstanding, but fleeting and inconsistent when I access impatience and deliberate abuse is the result which is not of life and not being aware of the essence of myself or another as life. Also, what is missed as the consequence of giving into the experience of impatience is the essence of creating with others, moving with others that in ways will benefit and support both, and miscommunication, conflict, and deadlocks are usually the outcomes. This expression no one can deny is what life is about, to express oneself in ways that supports one’s creativity and living with others in mutual beneficial ways through creation. Life sustains life and within expression as patience’s, when one pay’s attention to the essence of what is here as life, creation is made and what is life but creation and who we are in our utmost potential is creators.

I always find when I push myself and stand within patience’s within these moments of energy rushes that come up of wanting to become impatient with another, the outcome is so much more beneficial. This is so because mutual understanding is able to be reached through moving slower within oneself and grounding oneself into reality where what is happening directly is more easily accessed. This moving slower takes a process of stopping oneself in the moment of energy rushes, and using breath and commitment statements made to ground oneself into a focus of who one is within these moments as an example of life. So redefining the word patience as I did will more support me with a reminder of who I am within these moments of wanting to become impatience and using the tools discussed above to ground myself and so recognize myself again within the other and see what is here which is life.

Conflict is not enjoyable and gets old really fast, it also creates lots of consequence within the mind of self as well as others and physical consequences can occur to the body and the body of others if impatience’s is continued to be participated in, as this accumulates and evolves within oneself and one's world that results in anger, hatred, and then can turn into violence. So this is not to be judged if one has or is participating in such instances, though one should heed these words and start pushing ourselves into living as patience because I am amazed at how much I am overcome by the desire to live out my impatience experience onto others in my life, and equally amazed at the results when I stand in these moments and live the word patiences. Now that I have re-defined this word as paying attention to the essence of life in others, I will more and more stop, take a breath, and live this redefinition into my world because it is clear. This creating a more sustainable self and sustainable environment for all life which is the essence of what the word Patience exist as.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Some Words on Valentine’s Day – Day 448

Valentines Day, a day to celebrate love in our life, for me I would like to have love everyday so I have reacted to this day in judgment based on blaming it and those that participate within it as not realizing that there is more to love then a holiday. And so within my mind I get angry at the fact that I can’t have this love everyday. I can't have this love because for this to take place people will have to see that a day to celebrate out of the year is not how love is meant to be lived. This anger I feel is a blame for others not seeing that this is the case and how they are just being ignorant to the fact that we can be different, we can live love, we can be love, but as I am starting to realize more and more through walking my process to life is that I have to create the love as myself for myself to in fact actually make it real. It is my responsibility because as I have said many times in the past that ‘if I can’t walk it, how can I ask another to?’ And the answer is I can not and love made real by living it will not actually exist for me because I am not creating it for myself.

So this day brought out the fact that life is not limited to the designated holidays we have assigned a few times a year were we have a day of ‘fun’, but we can within ourselves be in a state of stability which creates comfort for self and so expand it out from within us to create it in our world. So I realize, see, and understand that I have to create the love and live love and exist as loving my neighbor as myself, actually live this love if I want to see it come alive.

This is where I am currently at within my process, taking my desires and wants and actually creating them for myself by redefing what love means and living this by creating it in my life. So here with this holiday as the love holiday, I will walk self forgiveness and self commitments to clear any reactions I have to this day and find solutions that will support to walk a creation process to live love in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that within the action of judging a person or an event in this world, I am only fueling and continuing the actual existence of the mind pattern or event that I see is not supporting what is best within this world because I myself am doing the exact same as what the other is doing seperating myself from what is really going on here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate who I am with others and believe I have the right to judge people and point fingers because I have walked this process for sometime and I know better, when in fact it is not about knowing better or thinking a specific way about myself, but who I am within what I live everyday in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have a right to judge other people because I have understood something about what is going on in this world like the manipulation within consumerism as holidays and have a belief that others are just being ignorant, when in reality there is many factors to why what is here is happening and that by judging and creating beliefs about what is here is separating myself from what is here and making it so I can’t see and come to common ground with others because I am in reaction which is resistance toward this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge valentines day and holidays in general as a scam and that they are pointless to participate in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry at others for participating in holidays as I judge them as just following the system and willingly being enslaved by the elite who benefit off what is created as holidays.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a anger towards the elite of this world for creating it in the way of parasite and host and be in fear that it’ll never change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the elite for this experience of fearing the world not changing witin myself onto the elite of this world, when I see, realize, and understand that I am really in fear of myself not changing to live in all moments in self honesty and what is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that I don’t need to change for this world to change that it should just change because I see that it’s necessary and others are being lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others as lazy when it’s really myself who is being lazy by not pushing myself beyond my limits and ensuring I create my life rather then sit and blame others for not changing theirs.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for what is here as my mind and my emotions and my reactions and blame other people and society for me not changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use blame as an escape for myself not pushing myself and changing my life into a self creation of what is best and living as an example for what is best as I actually live it and not just speak about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the world system and the elite for what is here as this life on earth currently, when I see, realize, and understand that it is in fact who I am within each moment that really exist and that I can not blame anyone for anything because that would mean I am not taking responsibility and actually living the words I speak and instead just speaking into and as death as I am not creating but diminishing.

When and as I see I am going into a point of wanting to blame the holidays, elite, or this world system for how this life and earth is existing here on this planet, I stop and breath, and realize that this is not a solution and that these groups or events are equal and one to me and are starting within the same starting point I am as pointing fingers but not living my talk.

I commit myself to let go of any judgment and/or blame towards any being outside myself and so I commit to walk the process of living what I speak by speaking what it is I am going to create and so creating it.

I commit myself to walk the process of creation by standing within my words and taking responsibility for my thoughts and reactions and walking the process of stopping them and changing them to stand as a support for life.

I commit myself to walk my talk and stand as life one and equal with what is here as self as life.

So love is redefined into an actual walking my talk were I show love to another by giving to them what I have given to myself and seen that it is of the benefit for self and so for all other life. Love is living my words and then being able to walk with others within what I am saying as I will be able to show them self honestly and so share who I am within this stand as life in what is best. And so holiday as well will be here to walk, continue to correct any reactions, and walk the process of changing what is here to what is best for all from within myself and so to the without.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Business Fears: Fear of Not Showing Up - Correcting Myself Day 447

Previous Business Fear Blogs I have done in this Series:
Business Fears – Fear of Not Making the Sale – Day 444
Business Fears- Fear of Failure – Day 443
Business Fears: Fear of Not Showing Up - Day 446

Correction process of the self forgiveness I did in my last blog on the fear of not showing up for my business and my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknowns of showing up in life because there is a certain amount of risk involved and so self trust is needed and success is not guaranteed.

I commit myself to face my fears of the unknown and assess myself and the direction I take in common sense and what is best and lead myself into a direction where I am responsible and stand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not making it to a satisfactory point of not having self trust enough to walk the sales process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that self trust is developed through living it, it’s not based on the external but based on the internal of myself and who I am in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself away to the external picture that I react to, I realize, see, and understand that I have not developed this trust within myself as of yet, so I have to embrace myself and the environment in these moments and realize I will be able to stand and direct myself through whatever is here to be faced.

I commit myself to challenge my self to continue to push myself into uncomfortable situations within my process as a saleswomen and in life to push my boundaries and thus push my expansion within who I am as self trust.

I commit myself develop who I am within myself in expanding my skills and capabilities to be able to take on new dimensions of my sales process as well as new experiences within my living and be able to walk it and grow within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see life within the pictures that exist in my mind being projected onto reality, I see, realize, and understand that these mind pictures are based on movement within self as thoughts, energies, feelings, emotions, and that within this it is in a self interest.

I commit myself to move myself to let go of my mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions within letting go of my self interest to have it my way or get what I want and so I commit myself to stand within the principle of doing what is best for all and so creating this in my physical living.

I commit myself to redefine the words I use to be structured within the direct living of myself in my environment where I have walked a process of purification and standing within a direct understanding of who I am one and equal with my creation as myself in my living and so one and equal with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear life here in the external when i see, realize, and understand all that exist here is self, we are all equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to stand.

I commit myself to let go of fear through understanding it in writing and seeing within myself what I am hiding from and denying within myself and so giving this to myself.

I commit myself to walk the process of facing and transcending my fears once I have walked a process of understanding the fears.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take full self responsibility for myself and my actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the only point that exist and it’s simple is to live best for all in each breath and let go of the system as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear of this point of unknown within what is to come in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other people and their multiple reactions toward me.

I commit myself to take responsibility for who I am within my living and stand within a point of self investigation and self change to ensure I am prepared to walk what is needed to be walked to live what is best for all and have developed the self honesty to in fact do this.

I commit myself to stop taking the external personal and start to stand within using it as a mirror to see who I am within myself and what it is that this reaction within me is showing me about myself.

I commit to walk the process of change within the reactions I have to transcend them through understanding and changing my living to a point of embracing what is here through acceptance, understanding, and solution oriented living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what to say or what to do in moments of the presentation or speaking to others if and when they should react.

I commit myself to let go of fear and express myself here within who I am in each moment and trust I will be able to direct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that a correction process is needed within all life, each being in all it’s forms have a process to walk to self perfection until one is here. So as can be seen with the state of our world, we have to walk this self perfection process each and everyone and it’ll take time.

I commit myself to stop judging myself for fearing who I am or who I will be and fearing others, and so I commit myself to embrace all of me here, accept myself, and correct that which is not best for all and so best for myself in all I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the ridicule and cruelty in others, when I see, realize, and understand I have done this myself and still do it within my mind, so if I ask of another person to stop being cruel and mean I must end it within myself first.

I commit myself to stop being cruel within my mind by stopping my backchat and reactions through walking the process of correction and disciplining myself to let go and be here in acceptance and self honesty.