Day 85- 'I am the Victim' Character

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into the victim character to not have to face my actions/consequences to who I have become in the moment where the victim character was activated, thus when this is activated I realize that this is a point to take note of and change as this is an excuse to not have to face myself and walk the change that is necessary to be walked to take responsibility and honor life as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use the victim character to deflect the responsibility and consequence off of me and onto another by believing the lie within myself that it is not my fault and I had nothing to do with it as I realize within myself I am only looking out for my own interest and actually in fear of being caught and confronted so thus I use the victim character to hide essentially from myself and pin the blame on another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the victim character because I fear facing the consequences that I have created thus realizing that this cycle will continue were I will cause abuse and thus create consequence of conflict in my world based on me not considering others and within this will always cycle back and forth because I am missing the key point that this consequence of cycling from conflict to victim is showing me, which is me within in it not taking responsibility for myself and who I am being within the conflict situations thus I will not be able to change myself if I don't see me as the cause and continue to stay as the victim character.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hide from myself within using this victim character to essentially become like a fake face where I can go into blame and confuse the point to a 'he said - she said' and thus accept and allow the point to continue and allow the consequences for myself and another as abuse to continue when I realize now within the moment I see I start to move into the victim character to stop and breath, and find the point of responsibility I need to stand within and as and walk the solution that is necessary to be walked to create equilibrium with the other honoring ourselves as life in each one and doing what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within myself believe that I am not in the wrong and it is always the other persons wrong doing because within myself I want an easy time at life and not have to push myself to walk the change because I see this as difficult and taking a lot of effort and consistency to do and thus I see that using and going into the victim character is an easy way out. Within this I realize that it may be easy for a moment, but it is the cause to my own self enslavement where I am resisting and limiting myself to an 'easy feeling', where I could walk through the feeling, take responsibility and stop abusing the life that I am and live equal and one. I realize the equality and oneness of life here is through taking responsibility and standing within this point in all facets of our life to thus establish oneness and equality with all, which is the freedom of life here for real and who we are as the substance that create all life here and is within all that exist.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into polarities within this victim character where I will create up dishonest points within the other as they are 'wrong' and I am 'right' and thus create this idea that this is so and this is fact when only I am being considered and in fact I am not walking the shoes of another so no point of absolution such as I am 'right' and another is 'wrong' can be claimed as I am the other and thus I realize that this polarity play-out of absolution as I claim is not in fact real because I am not considering the other who I realize is me and I am just using it to create myself more into a state of victimization so I can gain sympathy from others and get my actions validated.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into false statements within a polarity play-out of I am right and they are wrong within the 'hope' that others will validate me and thus I can gain a sort of energy boost within myself were I will become elated because I got attention and others are 'agreeing' with me. But within this agreement I realize and see that this is based on the dishonesties of ourselves as another is walking in separation as well going into an agreement with one who is in seperation and they themselves are equally trying to gain validation for their dishonest actions and thus it becomes a game of 'losers' where we are losing the chance at real life by taking responsibility for self and all as self and changing to consider the other equal to yourself and correct that within yourself that is not best for all, which would be to stop playing victim and stop abusing life in self interest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live into energy as good feelings by abusing others based on my desire to not have to face who I have become here.

I forgive myself myself for allowing and accepting myself to give my power away to ego and fear and thus accept abuse as me and separate me from who I am here as life diminishing myself and abusing life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow fear to direct me into self diminishment and thus instead accept and allow self interest as survival instead of the survival of all in care for all through living the principles of oneness and equality with all life. I realize and see within and as me that I must stop the fear, stop the self interest, stop my ego from trying to gain over others, and walk the responsibility of my consequences that I have created. Walk the writing and self forgiveness and thus change myself in my living to honor life and myself by living and creating a world that is best for all life through and within my own self living towards myself as all life. This is who we are life not abuse, so I must stop the abuse of others and myself here by stopping my fear and hiding in playing the victim character.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into my mind and validate this victim character by participating in the thoughts and accept them that I am right and others are to blame when I realize and see that I am not in consideration of the other but only attempting to validate my own self interest by using my thoughts as justification for the actions I am taking as victim when I realize thoughts are not to be trusted and are a point of enslavement of the human as the mind consciousness system is designed as. Thus I realize I must stop the thoughts of justification and validation of the victim character, and walk the physical process to be physical and not be directed by my mind.

I commit myself to take responsibility for my actions within and as a point where I desire to go into a victim character scenario, but stop and walk the change. I stop, breath, and do not accept and allow myself to use the victim point to point fingers and for a moment get out of facing my responsibility.

I commit to stop the backchat thoughts and diminishment of others within my mind and stand in equality and oneness here with all others in physical reality as breath and slow myself down and do not participate in the mind in self interest, but walk the correction by considering all as myself in physical common sense practical living.

I commit myself to stop my ego and self interest in only considering myself and my own feelings and thus I must stop living for feelings over the best for all life.

I commit to stop abusing life by only considering myself and walk the correction to consider and walk the consideration of all I come into contact with especially when I see that I am about to go into the victim character.
I commit myself to let go of the desire to have others like me and validate me by agreeing with me when I go into this victim character as this is an easy way to make 'friends' as I realize this is self diminishment and not real, only based on characters and self interest to be 'validated' as I am not accepting myself.

I commit myself to accept myself and all life here and walk the correction of acceptance of all and self responsibility for all as myself and walk the walk to a new world where all are honored and all characters cease to exist except the character of life that is here as physical as a breath that I am one and equal with all that exist.


victim, I am a victim, head games, blame game, characters, actors in life, life is a stage, he did it, equality, equal life, eqafe, desteni, 2012, journey to life, garbrielle gabrielle goodrow

Day 80- Lost and Found

So am postponing the point I have been walking in regards to Men are strong, Women are Weak as their is a point or a few points that came up today that require some self forgiveness and correction immediately.

I work for my father's business, and so he asked me today to investigate a gadget he is having some issues with. I was in the process of investigating the issue, and had to go in his office to check on some things while on the phone with tech support. As I was sitting in his desk, I had the thought that 'I should look and make sure my passport is in where it's suppose to be'. I checked the spot where they always are, and all the other usual passports were there, but mine. Immediately, I go to blame and the memory of where when I told my mom I was going back to SA and she said kiddingly, she is going to take my passport and hide it. So I assumed that she took it and did something with it, and I within myself allowed the rush of anger and thoughts of blame and diminishment to start to accumulate.

I went to her desk and asked her, 'did you take my passport?', she looked at me and was uncertain. Last time I went, she did take it and put it somewhere and so she couldn't remember if it was the case this go around, so she was uncertain and was worried and upset the whole day because the passport was missing, and I was assuming and essentially blaming my mom that it was her fault that the passport was gone. Later, we figured out it probably was not her because she was 'pretty' certain she didn't take it and my dad thought that she didn't take it as well, so my next victim of blame was my ex-boyfriend! whom I haven't seen or really talked to in months now. So started to accumulate thoughts of blame towards him, and follow them, where I wanted to text him with some attitude and ask him where my passport is because I assumed he stole it somehow as a memory I was holding onto of him.

This call didn't occur because I looked in the spot I was figuring it was, and I found the passport, the same place I put it few days after I returned from the farm about a year ago. So to correct this point, I see I have to walk the point out in self forgiveness in blaming others in an attempt to prove myself right and that it has to be someone else's fault because I don't make mistakes, and trusting memories as real life when they are essentially made up with an origin I don't know nor can't remember myself. So being self righteous and abusing others in an attempt to prove this point to myself, and using others as collateral to make me as ego more within the attempt to be seen by others as the best and right.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to assume that another is to blame before I physically investigated all the scenarios that are here to be investigated and find the solution to the issue that was at hand, in this case where my passport had gone. I realize and understand that when I go into an assumption it is based on my mind ideas and beliefs based on memories that are not here but from the past where it is distorted and not accurate as it is not real, but coming up within illusions of pictures and thoughts that I am not certain of as they are coming from a place within me that I can not tangible investigate and find it's origin/source immediately thus I realize I can not trust it as I am not absolute as here. Thus I realize and see it is always best to walk the physical, stop the thoughts of assumptions as memories and find the solutions to the problems at hand as that is what is the matter, when I go into the assumptions, I am going into the mind thus deliberately abusing life for my own self interest as I see that this point of going into the mind is me trying to prove I am right, and thus abusing life within the name of self interest as memories as illusions coming from the mind which is not absolute but uncertainty.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into the mind and abuse life within my assumptions about the matter at hand and thus immediately go into ego and find fault in another because within myself I am 'believing' that I am right. I realize and see that when I go into assumptions as belief that I am not actually here in reality and thus I will compromise myself more times then not as I am not on solid ground and can easily be misled as I can't see what is here as memories and thoughts aren't here, but in other dimensions which aren't tangible nor substancial, so easily I am able to get misled and lost within it, thus I am not here and lost. So I realize when I walk within and as the physical in the points where I assessed the passport could be without projecting blame and stopping memories and thought accumulation, I would have walked the steps to the solution as the point that I found the passport in was my initial assessment and was able to be physically walked and resolved if I but made the decision to stick to the physical and walk what is here in equality and consideration of all as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into blame towards my mom and my ex boyfriend based on this desire within myself to be right and others wrong, so I can prove to myself like tallies on a wall that I am a winner and that others are loser because I am still desiring to have power over others where I want to be seen as the best and gain that acceptance of this from others. I realize and see when I allow the thoughts to accumulate of blame towards others I will use this to gain power for myself and thus use this energy as the thinking generates to fuel the ego and cause the abuse that will be the outflow to the emotion and feeling reactions that I participate in when I go into blame and separation towards another. I realize and see when I miss reality as I am stuck now within the thoughts and the accumulation only grows as I am fueling the energy as these thoughts and thus I act out this accumulation of thought energy that I have fueled now by thinking about it where I yelled and got angry at my mom and was about to call my ex boyfriend and give him some attitude to show that he is in the wrong and I am the one who is going to be right so thus fueling my ego, separating myself from life and abusing life, which is accepting the mind and my own enslavement as I realize I am not my mind as accumulated energy, but life one and equal to all and thus have the opportunity to live this if I but will it.

Within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into blame and anger towards my mom and ex boyfriend based on the fact of this desire to prove to myself that I am right because I desire to be seen as the best among others and thus when I prove that I am right within such instances where I call another out and then was correct I will use this against others to make myself look better and diminish the other so thus I can grow in my ego presence and show that I am dominant, I am the best, and thus I am very smart because I can see that others are doing stuff 'wrong' and I was 'right'. I realize and see that this whole play-out of blame and being 'right' is a game I am playing with myself because I am not accepting myself and thus using others to show myself that I am smart, I am right, I am better, because within I am not seeing myself as such, so abusing others for my ego to feel good and thus abusing life for my own limited happiness as acceptance through energy accumulation as separation which will never last and very limiting to how I realize I am as life one and equal as this physical existence as I am life and I am physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into backchat blame towards my mom and diminish her within seeing her as dumb because I was judging her that she can't remember anything instead of standing here one and equal as her as myself and seeing that I didn't know if I took it and put it somewhere or not thus seeing I am doing the same thing I am blaming her for and using backchat as a secret point so I can feel good about myself while another is compromised but I realize I am only compromising myself as I am showing life who I am as an abuser as I chose energy over what is best for all thus I will lose in the end as I as energy will end.

Thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate my self responsibility to stop the blame and projection onto others and investigate for myself what is here to be investigated, stop the blame in an attempt to not have to face myself as 'wrong', and stand as the solution where I accept all as me and understand that all points must be considered before I rush to judgment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live within the polarity of right/wrong towards life and what is here within my world and instead walk with life in equality and realize that all here is me and that life here is not trying to harm or do me wrong, but walking for now in 'imperfections' until we are here as one in perfection, so it's to understand I am the other and that I am the 'fault' thus I myself have to walk the correction and stop the faulty living within and as myself as I am it in the moment it occur anyway as I am the creator of all I am living and experiencing within and without of my world as I am all that is here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to blame my ex boyfriend and thus follow thoughts as memories of him in the past were I blamed him for what he had acted like and thus held it against him and still am not seeing that I accepted and allowed it within my world and thus am participating within and as this point myself, so it's to stop my blame and the memories in relation to my ex and walk here within self correction were I equalize myself with the life here as the physical and walk with those that are here to walk with and thus stop my blame by stopping the memories of the past and support life here one and equal to how I would like to be supported.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse life for my own happiness and thus disregard the physical reality and what is actually happening here and only be a mind as assumptions, blame, and disregard to life. I realize and understand that this is not who I accept myself to be, I am life and thus I am not only a proving point and a desire to be more, but am here with and as life in equality and thus I can in a single breath stop this participation of blame, anger, projection, ego as self righteous, memories as thoughts, and stand in equality in the physical and come to practical solutions where no one is harmed and life is honored. I realize to walk a new world as myself I must stop the blame and ego as self righteousness, and walk in humbleness as the physical reality to solutions that support all and consider all equal and one to myself.

Self Commitment Statements to follow.




blame mom, lost passport, blame your ex, my ex did it, its not my fault, he did it, lost and found, memories, living in the past, equality, equal life, equal money, eqafe, desteni, journey to life, passport, travel

Day 24- Impatiences

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be impatient towards life within and as my world.

I forgive myself allowing and accepting myself to exist within a point of impatience towards others in my world that are slow in learning or slow in movement, and thus go into irritation and anger towards them because they are slowing me down.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as a point of impatience due to the fact that I can't get what I want when I want it and thus have to wait for a point that I desire to have in immediacy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire a point in immediacy because I believe that I can not wait and thus going into the mind as within competition to thus combat the being who stand in my way to thus get my desires met and me closer and closer to that point that I want to attain to.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into desires of getting things immediately so I can always be getting to a point where I can attain all my desires in the quickest possible way through rushing and moving quick.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move in quickness because I believe I will miss something if I don't move fast.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting fear of lose due to me accepting myself as the mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that within myself I need to do things quickly and need to do things within a time frame where I set the rules thus expecting others within my world to realize these time measurements I am holding life within and thus go into irritation and anger towards that being who cause me to not get what I wanted in that time frame.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to place time restraints and constriction on life within and as a mind projection of me having to move quickly and thus limit life here within time and movement as my mind is in a hurry.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to limit myself with time and accept and allow myself to limit myself with others due to my reaction to the expectation I put on them if they don't meet my desired goals for them and myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to project myself into the future in an attempt to cover all bases and have control within the situation I am in to thus be able to have my world be as I desire it and thus when it doesn't go as planed within the manner in which I desired it to I blame another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to blame another based on the projections of myself I am allowing and accepting to be directed by when I realize and see that life does not have to be based on time, life is able to function within and as who we are within the pace of living which is the pace of moving as breath and thus to move quicker or slower within life as a breath is going into points as the mind in separation to get something from the living for self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from here as the living breath in movement and thus go into a polarity playout of laziness and quickness to compensate for the up and down playouts this cause where I lax and then go quick to make up for lost time instead of being here within stability as I breath and as I walk one step at a time and thus accumulate self movement within a stable footing I go into the mind as haste and thus crash and just want to do nothing accept instability and energy movements as the mind exist within.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into backchat thoughts of diminishment towards another based on me accepting and allowing myself to exist within a point of time as competition where I believe I have to be or do something in a certain time frame or I lose and go into thoughts of hate and blame to the other who I see won based on me existing within separating me from the other and seeing them in competition as better/worse.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to abuse life based on my own self limitations and expectations onto others and thus diminish myself based on me abusing life by creating conflict when I don't get my expectations met.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into diminishing myself by abusing another in my mind in putting them down and seeing them as not as good as me because they are not walking the same pace as me and based on my belief that I am quick and thus quick makes me more capable, I believe I am better and thus validate the abuse within myself because I am accepting my ego as being more special direct me based on what I do.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to diminish and abuse life based on my backchat of seeing me more then another as more capable and thus go into thoughts of name calling and blame to release the frustration that has built up because I didn't get my way by getting my time requirements met to my liking based on what is happening in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take my anger out on another and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to limit myself to the mind as boundaries as time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting time to direct me here and thus not live here within who I am as I walk and direct myself at the pace I walk as breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself by what I do and not by who I am thus missing myself here within the opportunity to live as one and equal with myself as all life as I realize this is who I really am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to miss life here within desires and definitions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as desires and definitions and have that direct me.

When and as this point of rushing and impatience is here, I stop breath and slow myself down to the rhythm of breath, focus on my physical movement and who I am here as life. I stop the energies through breathing stop the thoughts within myself, and live as who I realize I am one with the other. No judgments but just walking the correction to stop participating in the mind as time restraints, anger as emotions, and live within the consideration of the other and find common ground and support to thus be able to walk here as equal and one with all life as who I am.

I commit to stopping the rush to live and thus then the desire for relaxation, and walk within and as my breath as life and thus move within the physical as I breath and live from this point of stability as I ground myself here and stop the movements within to go into conflict.

I commit to see and understand who the other is as myself and find what is needed to walk equality with the other to always be able to find solutions for what is here and support and assist the other as I would want to be supported.

I commit to stopping emotions direct me as anger and thus desire and walk within the physical doing what's best for all and walking within equality so all life can be free to live and breath as self in expression.





impatience, 2012, rushing, im late, being late for work, rushhour, traffic, he did it, hurry up, slow, equality, life, equal money, desteni, eqafe,