Balancing the Yin and the Yang of Self - My Process - Day 593

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For me the expression of the yin and yang is the 'masculine' and 'feminine' expression of ourselves, this most would have a picture pop up of a male human being, maybe in a uniform or a business suit representing the 'masculine' word and for the 'feminine' word represented by a beautiful women in a sultry dress and ready for the town. And for me for many many years, this also was how I saw the words yin/yang, male/female, basic static pictures in my head.

Though once one start the process with self-forgiveness and living change that is best for all in self-honesty, which is the desten-i-process, one eventually will come to realize and see more within and as these natures, expressions, and living words of the masculine and feminine. So for me, I have realized these words are not just words but can be moved into expressions of oneself in a way of living in a new or refreshed way for instance. Like for me, I never much categorized myself as a feminine woman, yes I am a woman, but I did not see me as this picture in my mind of this beautiful, sultry woman and thus I believed then I am not a feminine woman. So it was an idea created in my mind of what I had to do to be a feminine women instead of understanding and realizing that it is not a picture i have to become to be feminine, but a way of existing, being that can incorporate the strengths and expression of the feminine design within this world and existence.

I found the masculine expression is similar to a blueprint or infrastructure, holding the placement for the feminine expression to merge and join in as the movement and flow of the creative expression that colors the blueprint infrastructure with creative ability. Through this with the support of each one holding the balance of who they are within and without, one get a balance of the expressions in a cohesive and ever-expanding way to give life and receive it equal and one.

I found within my own process, I as a female within my reality had to step up within myself in confidence, creative skill, stability, reason, logic, and truth and meet the male counterpart within me and within my reality on a balance equal level, where the male within this equation has to become humble to meet the female on an equal balance level, where he is able to interact and receive the creative expression of the female in her movements and flow.

So there is a meeting in the middle so to speak I have found within my own self as the masculine and feminine within me, the 'ego' of the mind/masculine within and the 'suppressed' expression of my own self worth and self-respect, and redefining and living my own self-expression within these two expressions, I have found I was able to come to a balanced medium within my living reality. Where now I am able to move from one to the other with ease and express or become stable in moments where I see fit to walk as such, so stepping up as the feminine expression within me as my passions, my expressions in living words, my flow as a river of life into the extended lands of the masculine structure and support networks to be creative and see and live with and as my creation in wonder and awe. And be a plus one as the building and leader of the future to come for all in what is best, standing more in the masculine expression as blueprint, planning, and building the 'new' world we would like to live in and have our children live in. The balance of the inner dance of the yin and yang, silenced in-breath and lived in what is best for all through one's self-responsible expression. 

Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any comment or questions if you see fit.

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Day 121- Disappointment Character- Not Enough Femininity

Within this, I see myself as someone who is not good enough within my look and thus within going into any point of potential relationship, I will within the starting point always diminish myself based on this belief I have that I am not good enough compared to others that are out there, and that I will never be able to match up to other females.

This above, is a portion of the blog Day 119-Disappointment Character – Sexual Prowess, where I will be taken each paragraph and writing out self forgiveness on a multi-blog/day platform, enjoy and thanks for reading.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my physical body and features to another females physical body and features, and go into a judgment of not being good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my physical body and features to another females physical body and features, and go into a judgment that I am better then the other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from females within a constant polarity playout of being more or less, and thus missing the reality here of a group of females together here, and thus instead of judgment, walk equal, and so I can really be here to enjoy the physical with and as the other beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link my physical features and body to my sexuality and thus define myself based on how I have defined my physical in comparison to the other potential partners, and thus see myself able to walk with or not able to walk with based on if I have defined my physical body and features in a equal comparison with the other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disappointed within myself if I don't match up to the potential partner I desire, and thus go into depression state based on not getting what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a desire within me to get an ideal partner, where in I will automatically create the depression and disappointed state, as ideals within myself are not able to be lived, as life is here, not in the mind in which ideals are held as ideas created by self based on comparisons and judgments of self as life in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create ideals within life and thus go into a judgment towards self in comparison within this ideal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept my mind as ideals instead of living here in fact in who and how the other being lives and thus how I am living one and equal with the other, in terms of potential partners.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my expression with another potential partner based on fear that I will be rejected because I don’t compare to the other in physical body or features, and thus will define myself as not as good based on comparing myself to other females body and features and seeing myself less then.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being rejected by another being based on defining myself and who I am based on the being accepting me or not, and thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on the acceptance of another instead of realizing and walking the realization that I will only truly be free when I walk and live the acceptance of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I accept myself and thus who I am within all, I can then walk the process as an equal agreement with another without expectation based on the fact that I am here and I walk what is here, so thus no matter what is here, I am here as myself in acceptance and walk what will be best for all in all ways, and thus I decide what path I walk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physical body as not good enough and thus go into a point of diminishment towards other females based on this self judgment that I am using to go into ego and make another female less then me to feel better about myself. Here, I realize that life is not defined by more or less feminine, but that female is just female in terms of the gender one is, and thus I stop defining females by degrees of more or less.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with other females in trying to match up and thus be better then, where in, I believe I will be able to get the guy I desire because I have defined myself as more then other females, thus I win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with other females in terms of a self judgment I have of not being enough, and thus defined life by something that is not real as beliefs and ideas on how someone should look instead of focusing on what really matters the physical equal and one in all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make being a female a competition, in where I try and win, but realizing that there always has to be a loser in such competitions, thus I always will cycle within the polarity of win/loss, where instead I can just be here, and live equal with others as life, walk an effective agreement with a being assessed by living principles and integrity and stop the illusions of desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live into desires in where I desire to have the perfect male in my life, and thus miss the point of who one is as self, where in I am blinded by desire and walk into an agreement based on illusion instead of physical practical considerations for what’s best for myself and life as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base myself on the mind as illusion instead of here as life as what is best for all in the physical. 

Self Corrective Statements to follow.

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disappointment, polarity, female, feminine, femininity, sexuality, partner, agreement, compare looks, rejected, expectations, competition, winner, winning, sports, games, desteni, 2012, eqafe, journey to life.