Day 217- Feeling of Dread Series – Accepting Limitation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become limited within myself and who I will be within my life due to believing this feeling of dread and uncomfortability within myself around others means that I am not as worthy and that I am not as acceptable as those I see that are creating this point of uncomfortablitiy within me. I realize that within this point of uncomfortability around others and believing that this feeling is who I am, I can take responsibility and stop limiting myself to become inferior and not able to express myself when I see this feeling come up of dread by seeing this as something that I am creating myself because i am allowing these beliefs to define who I am.

I commit myself to when and as this feeling comes up, I stop and breath, and thus do not accept myself to go into the thoughts of inferiority and belief that I am inferior to others, and focus on who I am as a physical being and thus focus on everyone and everything else who are equal in this regard, that we are all physical and thus we are all equal. I commit to stop these thoughts from directing me and limiting me in who I can be as a physical being perfecting my living in reality in the life that we all are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself at times to believe myself to be more then others and base myself based on the mind in thoughts saying I am more prettier then them and I have better clothes or I am smarter then, so I am more valued, and thus within me create this polarity separation with everyone in my world/reality based on allowing these thoughts and beliefs direct me into believing I am superior when in reality I am not, I realize we are equal, all life is equal.

I commit myself to walk the correction in seeing all life in equality and stopping my mind as these thoughts of superiority within what I have or what I look like direct me into seeing myself better then another, by not allowing myself to entertain such thoughts and breathing through them until I no longer have any reactions within these thoughts of superiority towards others as well as inferiority.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of judgment towards another and thus go into a comparison, I can red flag this and thus I can use this point to stop myself before it goes into consequence. I use my breath to stop the outflow of consequence within going into judgment and comparison  and walk the equality in the physical to a system that will be best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make material possessions have more value then the value of life equal within all, and thus accept and allow myself to cause abuse towards another in treating them less then me and making them feel like they are less then me because I feel more powerful this way. I realize that this is not real power but abuse and manipulation of my own gifts I have and thus this desire to have more I must stop as this is perpetuating this desire to be more to get more and thus live and accept separation as polarity within me.

I commit myself to when and as I go into seeing my things as having more value then life where in I will think I am more then others for having this possession, I stop and breath, and do not allow myself to define myself by what i have and thus only define who I am by how I live and treat others.  

I commit myself to walk the path of self perfection within my living in the laws of my beingness as life as the physical in what is real in treating every living being equally to myself and living this in my physical reality as an expression of who I am and the gift I understand is here as life in all and the opportunity we have here to live this for real and create a world that truly is heaven on earth.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 216 – Feeling of Absolute Dread Series – Being Weaker then a Feeling?

“This feeling comes up and its very strong, a forceful energy that makes me feel not able to match it’s intensity, weak really within myself, and it is followed by thoughts and pictures of myself as being very unattractive. “

For reference on quote above, please see:

Day 215 – Exploring Self Acceptance – The Feeling of Absolute Dread Series –Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see a feeling which within me I realize is not real as it is not of life, but it is generated from the mind system through the conflict relationship from substance to the system in our bodies that we accept and allow (see more on what the Mind is here on the Desteni Wiki) and that within this realization, I can start to walk the process of stopping taking this feeling personally and seeing it as more then me. I realize and understand within the relationship of energy and feelings, that they are being created based on my participation in the mind and in these beliefs that I am not able to stand equal to these feelings, which are not real as these are not physical their made in the mind which is illusion, not real.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of taking this feeling of dread personally and believing that I cant stand equal to it and stop my participation within it, I stop and breath, and speak ‘garb, I am not defined by this feeling, I am creating it thus I can stop it.’ And I physically stop my participation in the thoughts or beliefs that say I can’t, and push my physical to walk through the resistance and continue to participate and do what I am doing without allowing the thoughts to influence me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a feeling have power over me where in I submit to it in the living out of seeing myself inferior within who I am based on believing what the mind is telling me, that I am ugly, unlikable, and fucked up. I realize that the energizing of these thoughts and thus the continuation of this line of thought stream of self sabotage is because I am participating and believing these thoughts to be who I am. I realize though within this that this is not who I am, I am not what the mind is saying as the mind is working and living within a system of separation, needing us as the life being suppressed for it to exist, with me as life in oneness and equality the mind ends, and thus this struggle within myself is due to my own participation, my own actions, my own beliefs, and thus my own creation as I believe I am my mind, but I realize I am not only my mind but life here, and thus I commit to walk myself back to life here in the physical in what is really real.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of belief and thus self sabotage in believing the mind in what thoughts are coming up within me, I stop and breath, and move myself to a point of self stability, go get air and do not allow myself to follow the thought stream. I commit myself to stop artipcating in beliefs that I am what my mind is telling me, and thus see myself within my actual living. Meaning I walk in awareness of each breath, each step, practicing slowing down in my breath, and living within each moment in what I am doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe what the mind is telling me about myself is real, that I am ugly and unlikeable and fucked up, I realize that within this belief of myself I hold my self in a point of limitation because I don’t realize my potential of what I could be based on going into a depression based on seeing myself in such a self sabotaged way. I realize and understand that the mind is not real in the sense of what is coming up within it and thus I need to walk the practical steps of stopping these beliefs each and every time, investigate them through writing if they continue, and walk the correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my mind and the thoughts that come up personally, and thus go into a reaction of inferiority and depression based on seeing myself as this person who is not good enough. I realize that within these reactions of taking what my mind personally, I am making my mind more powerful then me, and thus allowing it to control me. I realize that I have directive principle and can walk the correction of stopping the reactions, and realign to corrective living in using what is here as my mind as a point of understanding where I am at within my process, and what is necessary to walk to correct that which is not aligned with what is best for all.

I commit myself to push myself to stop the beliefs that are coming within me as that I am ugly and unlikable, and start walking self acceptance, accepting who I am in each moment, and thus I commit to push myself to stop looking from acceptance from others as I realize I am not defined by others, but I direct and thus define myself.

I commit myself to stop taking the mind personal, seeing it for what it is as a tool to walk my process to equality and oneness with life, and use breath to realign myself to what is real in the physical and push myself to become aware of who I am as the physical, stopping each time I see I am going into reaction, and use breath and my will to walk back to life here in Reality.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 215 – Exploring Self Acceptance – The Feeling of Absolute Dread Series –Part 1

Here looking at a feeling that I have recently became aware meaning I have looked at it in awareness without fear or submission, which is actually a pretty cool breakthrough for me because for many, many years I have allowed this feeling to overpower me and take control of my whole physical and mental faculties. This feeling is the feeling of absolute dread.

This feeling comes up and its very strong, a forceful energy that makes me feel not able to match it’s intensity, weak really within myself, and it is followed by thoughts and pictures of myself as being very unattractive. I get this feeling especially when I am in groups of people my own age, and I will be fine for quite a while, but during the event or evening, I can expect this feeling to come on. It is usually activated by an external force such as if I go in the mirror and judge myself as ugly or by someone else doing something that I interpret as a point of rejection towards me.

Here, I will first look at the mirror activation, this is a point were if I look and am not satisfied with my picture within the first glance, I will go into self judgment and thus self suppression. This thought stream will accentuate and accumulate to where I am in complete suppression and can hardly communicate with others based on these beliefs that they will think I am beyond degusting looking and they would never want to speak or look at me because of how gross I look, so I will live into this and not communicate and interact with others in comfortability, but be completely in fear of rejection/vulnerability.

Then I will go into this whole uncomfortable state within myself in and around these groups of people because of this thought activation that was created within the moment I judged myself in the mirror as ugly and not good enough, and then the feeling of absolute dread comes on. This feeling within me that there is no way out of this belief of myself, that I am what my mind is telling me to everyone else in this room, this disgusting, ugly person, stupid, no good, and that there is no reason to even communicate because I will not be accepted, I am really just not even worthy to speak to or at times even live really (this was in it's peak, will go into this more later in this series).

But within this logic within myself it is really distorted and warped, because obviously this is how I see myself, this is what I believe of myself, and so I can't even really see other people or who/how they think or see things because of the fear and turmoil going on within me. I can't see what is really here as others or myself because I am not here, I am not in reality but completely trapped in my mind, in an illusion of my own making, being fueled and threatened within myself of what feels like self annihilation as this feeling of dread grows and desperation as this feeling over comes me to it's submission until I am alone again and can find some peace. This cycle though created a deep depression within me because I obviously don't want to be alone, but this feeling of dread always results in me being alone because this is when I feel safe, when this feeling of dread goes away. So it's a catch 22, I can't be with others cause this feeling is unbearable, but I don't just want to be with myself because this is no fun. And for many years, I was very alone, hardly interacted with others, and was in a complete depression of sorrow and really it felt like hell, the hell of myself that I accepted and allowed my mind to direct me into and as. As I believed completely what my mind was saying to me about my own physical body and reality within my life, I never considered otherwise, that is until I found Desteni.

And this is what this feeling of dread makes me feel, absolutely alone and there is no one and nothing that can help me, that can save me from this feeling that drowns me within myself of what feels like the deepest pits of helplessness that I really can’t describe, its a really bad and a horrible feeling. I realize here that I am correct within this assessment that there is no one that will come and help me or save me from this feeling of dread and this illusion I have created for myself, until I stand up and help and save myself, within stopping accepting the mind in what it tells me about myself as the physical, and so accept who I am as myself here in my physical. Walking the path to stop these feelings from directing me into being able to walk here and accept all that is here to direct to outcomes of peace and harmony in what is best for all as the physical being that I am, that is what is really here, what is really real, the physical and me as the physical body.

Next – What is these memories and fears that is driving this feeling of dread that is now completely possess me in life and living. Thanks for reading.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki