Brusitis in the Left Hip Bursa Sac - Feminine Expression - Hardening of Self - Day 29

 

                                                               equalmoney.org

I have had this pain in my left hip for some time, but has been moved into a inflammation within the hip sacs, this has been especially after working through some heavy and deep points in my desteni.org process that I have been walking now for many years. I am realizing that the pain is based on the idea and belief within myself that one, I am not able to move forward after a mistake/fall, being shocked within the self honesty faced of what I was doing/capable of, and how I initially went into blame and self defeat where I allowed myself to wallow in fear, anger, and self hatred. I am seeing the nature of this devaluation of myself in believing I am stuck and can never forgive or again stand after such a fall stems from the belief that I am doomed and shamed forever within this mistake and fall, and I require others to help me back up or help me get the point. There is a point that what I create will always be with me as I created it, yet who I am here in realizing and then changing is what matters and is relevant at this time. Also when in reality, I myself have to get up and stand within myself, realizing that no one is to blame or going to save me, but self is to stand and find a way to do what is best for all within the understand of doing what is best for self. Through this stand you show life and others who you are and equality of life emerges where all are able to be heard and all have a say, cause all are here and responsible for the alignment of what is best for all as a self creation one and equal.

 My mother is an imprint in my mind within this pain in my hip from childhood where I did not feel seen or supported in my troubles by her, so believing that I have to go it alone and I am unworthy of care or support. Though I realize this is not true, I do walk alone yes within myself and my own self honesty, but I am not worthy or useless, I am a being expressing here and responsible for my self correction when I fall or create an idea or belief of something. The fact is that life is direct, life is here, it doesn’t think, it exist, it lives, so self has to apply oneself to live, it’s an action, and so it’s a self willed requirement, no one can do this for me but me. Self does have support within people, material, and nature/animals that can support with insight and solving the issues/problems self believe are insurmountable, but self has to be open to it and learn from it in a way that cause no harm, but give life as self give of oneself for what is best for all. The points one face may be big at times, yes, but each issue/problem can be solved breath by breath, step by step, within an effort to not give up and see it through to stable ground until it’s done. This the quest and the journey of self to rebirth as life, on wards.

 Self forgiveness 

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe a mistake/fall where I did not live into self honesty and what is best for all, but deliberately chose self interest, to be more, I am sentenced forever to suffer and pay for the harm I had caused by not standing for life when it was on the line.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself prisoner in my own mind for a mistake, fall, and self interest moment where i chose the mind rather then standing in that moment for what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe life is not able to change and transform within and as the understanding and self honest walk of what is here, to in fact stop and live in a new way that supports self to live and never again allow and accept such abuse within and as my reality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i don't deserve self forgiveness and self change, and thus i must continually suffer.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not allow to feel gentleness, softness, and care for myself because i made a mistake/fell in my process and life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i do not deserve gentleness and care within myself toward myself because i judge myself as bad, loser, and a demon.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto thoughts of my mistakes, and believe these define me, when i see, realize, and understand they are not real, and thus i have the ability to breathe, let them go, and live here in the physical in a way that will support myself and life as i support all when i stand and support myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i have to hold everything in and never allow anyone to know as i see i need to figure things out by myself and i am too bad or far gone to get anyone to support me or help me out.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am the only one who has fallen in such a way, when i see, realize, and understand many are in the same boat and will equally need the support of themselves and life/others as examples to walk what has to be walked to stand for and as life as the self forgiveness is spoken and lived within the living change in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the shock of the moment of when i found myself in rock bottom where i realized my mistakes and the consequences to face. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize, see, and understand to stand for life i have to stand as myself as life, and in this this require a gentleness and softness at times to support through a point of understanding or patience to work with what is here within msyelf and in this world as the living solution is created and walked.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i have to fight through to survive, when i see, realize, and understand i don't need to survive but give as i'd like to receive until all are here receiving and life is guaranteed in an equal life and equal money system as examples of heaven on earth our/self's true/truth and real nature.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for not being there for me as a child, and thus not realize or understand at the time that my mother was walking here best as she could in the moments and in this she was equally doing her best with what she knew to support me and thus i can not blame but take it back to myself and see where i can learn and align myself to be the solution.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for me being forced more into the nature of having to figure it out on my own, and when i made a mistake, blame her as a point that should have been there, when i see, realize, and understand that she was there in her capacity as she could and that these alignments are points within my process, i must face within myself, change myself, and stand within the consequences as i create and stand as the solution.

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am trapped, when i see, realize and understand i am here, i am able to create and move myself in a way that is best for all until it is created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent myself for “allowing the mistake,” instead of seeing it as a necessary mirror to show me who I was, so I could realign with who I really am. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself in walking process, believing that because I fell once, I am always on the edge of failure—when in truth, every breath is a new foundation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overcompensate by pushing through pain, inflammation, and exhaustion—believing I must suffer to prove I care or am worthy of life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being seen in my vulnerability is shameful or dangerous when i see, realize, and understand it is a mirror to myself and where i am in fact requiring change and thus showing true strength as being seen but remaining here open and directive of myself to remain and correct myself.

 “You must embrace all parts of yourself, even the ones you have rejected, because all of it is you. Until you stand equal and one with all of it, you will not be free.”

— Bernard Poolman 

I commit myself to stop the believes that i am stuck, in harms way always, and have no way out, but breathing let go of the past, and working with what is here, breathe by breathe, where i give myself the ability to care for myself and the space for gentleness so i can ensure i am seen as i show this within and as my world. 

 I commit myself to receive self care within my own process as i get back up from a mistake/fall and show myself that i still matter and i can keep moving and expanding in a way of self change and self correction. 

When and as i see i am going into self judgment of what i have done, i stop breathe and let go, move into the word self care and self gentleness as i align to my commitment and agreement to life to change and correct myself through self acceptance and doing what is best in the moments to the best of my ability.

I commit myself to stop all blame toward my mother and realize she is me and i could have been her, i see i would want compassion within the understand she was doing the best she could, and i commit myself to take self responsibility for my own actions and consequences, and walk the process to realign, forgive myself, and correct myself into living words such as self responsible, compassion, care, equality and oneness. 

I commit myself to let go of the suffering and harm, i commit myself to embrace my body and this world as the body of life and start the process of self correction as self healing to again be able to align to what is best for all and stand for always as life as me.

I commit myself to stop the internal war with myself, and instead live the gift of correction—gently, consistently—no longer driven by fear of failure, but moved by care for life.

I commit myself to stop hiding or compensating for my past through force, and instead trust the living correction of who I am here, one breath at a time, one decision at a time.

I commit myself to open up to real support—from people, nature, and the tools of life—realizing I am never truly alone when I walk in self-honesty and allow life to move through me.

I commit myself to walk with presence, not punishment—to no longer earn my worth, but express it.

 

Living words to embody - 

Stability - standing stable in myself in my mistakes and my correction, equal and one to myself as life until i am clear and here breathe by breath.

Support - giving myself equal support as care, nurturing, and softness as i would give a child getting back up after a fall.

Softness - standing in understanding as self here as life, allowing myself to let go of the pain and sadness and recreate in a way that is best, correcting and expressing myself as the joy of life that is a gift as honour and grace as i've been given by life as my physical body and this world.  

Grace – the permission to start again without punishment.

Fortitude – quiet strength in the face of consequence.

Allowance – letting life unfold within principled living, not forced control

 

 “Correction is not judgment—it is support. It is the act of aligning with what is best for all, beginning with self. It is the gift you give to yourself: to no longer live as consequence, but as creation.”

— Desteni

 

More support at -

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

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www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool!

 

 

Day 28 - Allowing Self to Flow - The Hips - Resisting what is here

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So from working through the points with my gut, and working with trusting myself, I am moving on to the hips, where i am finding them to have gained some weight, and also have some pain in the left side. This pain is in the joint area where it feels as if it has been over worked or over used, compensating for the imbalance of my walk where I tend to put more weight on my left side when walking. So some words to work with here is overcompensating, inflexibility, immobile, constriction, and imbalance. 

I am seeing that due to my relationships in the past and my own self relationship with myself, I have allowed myself to become more left side dominant then right side, causing those muscles to be over used and over worked causing pain and discomfort. The weight gain i am seieng due to staying stuck in the past, not moving myself here in the physical through staying stuck in my mistakes i allowed and in this the expressions of self that i didn't live into. This resistance i am seeing of facing my past and what i have allowed in relationships for instance with others and myself, i am over compensating within my day to day activities, pushing beyond my flexibility and capacity where i want to do something, but i have not allowed my body and self discipline to catch up with the potential i am seeing. Not stretching for instance, spending the extra time to warm up before i go into the critical exercise and heavy tax on my body/self, but just move through the pain and discomfort, even though it is causing potential damage. This a lack of self awareness and self discipline, and essentially being lazy, giving up on my best.  

 Within my relationships, this is staying in a relationship or moving out of a relationship due to the thoughts of something is wrong or all is good, not working step by step with the physical and the reality feedback, but wanting it to be the way that suits me best for my interest. Lacking self honesty when in fact i require it to ensure that i am not fucking myself or another, and not allowing or accepting any abuse within my reality/self space. If i am allowing this in my world, then i am allowing it in others worlds as well, maybe not deliberately directly, but subtle it is playing out until eventually it comes to a head and all hell breaks lose and energy outbursts is created.  

Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist the patience and stability as self discipline it'll take to walk the step by step process in the physical to walk the alignment of ensuring the steps are taken i can see that will support myself to be the best i can be and ensure the consideration of all involved is well aligned and understood so all benefit as best possible not matter the effort it'll take as long as what is best and common sense is considered.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a desire to take it easy and work with my desires, where i can give into my wants and perceived needs within the idea that i am good, i can do it another time.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that time is something that i have to use with as i please, when i see, realize, and understand that everything has a consequence and everything is existing within space time and in my desires/ wants/ needs i am truly only considering myself and my small circle as my local environment not considering all life within the principles that i live within as it is in self interest only and not what is best for all. 

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be desiring to get my own way and in this not listen to common sense, but only listen to my mind as self interest reasoning that i can do what i want or i can get what i want and in that push beyond the consideration of all, and push to get my needs met above others.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others within my reality about what has transpired in my world, where i seek out the point of desiring the punishment to go onto them as i believe i was done onto and in this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i was justified to harm others within my force of self onto others where i got my own way and punished others and in this believed that i won, when i see, realize, and understand no one wins. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful within and as my reality, where i go into blame and anger toward the injustices of others as i believe, instead of taking self responsibility for what i have created and finding the will to live something new that is aligned to others/all and live this change until it is done.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and apathetic within and as the movement of self to do what is necessary to be done to ensure a world that is best for all as i start with myself within self discipline and self honesty to forgive myself for my past, and walk a change process that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not have compassion within and as others and myself as a point of walking the change process as it takes time and ensuring that application of breathe awareness and constant alignment with what is best as what is best for self is live within my day to day living, letting go of the want desire of self interest and considering in common sense what i can do that is best for all involved. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful and angry when i do not get my way as i see my life then will be more difficult.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being and living life more difficult instead of walking my consequence no matter what it is and aligning myself to the solutions that is best for all life. 

I forgive msyelf to be in flexible within and as change when change is necessary to direct and correct myself to what is best and what will ensure i am able to do what is best in my living as this in fact is the only way of life that matters and is truly what i would want for myself and in all shoes if i had to live in them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist my past instead of accepting my past as myself, forgive it as myself, and change myself to align here with what is best for all as living words and living solutions to the best of my ability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the signs of imbalance within my body, prioritizing performance or outcomes over presence and care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate pain with progress, instead of seeing that pain is my body’s voice asking for care, realignment, and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush my process out of fear of not being enough, instead of trusting the timing of my realignment as breath by breath, here.

When and as I see myself wanting to push through pain or discomfort without listening to my body, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that my body is not a machine to conquer, but a living being I am here to walk with in partnership.

When and as I resist slowing down or preparing properly (emotionally or physically), I realize I am sabotaging my own potential. I choose preparation and structure over rush and self-interest.

When and as I go into guilt or regret about my past mistakes in relationships, I stop. I breathe. I remind myself that I am not defined by the past, but by who I choose to be in this breath forward.

I commit myself to let go of the desire in self interest to get what i want, and align myself in thought word and deed to what is best for all with my money, my awareness, my time, my energy as i see this is truly the world i would like to create and raise children in.

I commit myself to never give up on myself as all life within the acceptance of what is here and taking full self responsibility to walk my talk in common sense to do what i am able in the space i have to align life to what is best for all through equality and oneness and what is best for all.

I commit myself to stand in self discipline and consistency as i change myself to self interest only to what is best for all as would be best for me proven in my living, and tracking it in my day to day operations.

I commit myself to listen to my physical body more, i commit myself to live the word gentleness where i care for myself and my physical that has been pushed beyond limits at time and requires compassion as self here. 

I commit myself to remain stead fast in my principles of life as self forgiveness, accepting myself for who i am and changing myself step by step as i let go of the past through self forgiveness and changing through living words that will ensure i am living the best version of myself within a consistent application and growth. Also i commit myself to get up from each fall, and stand as life until all life is free as i have freed myself here as breathe. 

More support at -
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Day 27 - Holding onto the Past - Sf and Release - The Gut = Trust in Self

I have always been in shape as a child, young adult, and now into my 40s I am starting to gain weight around my hips, gut and thighs. This has to do with physical body changes as I age based on hormones and body change, though it also holds understanding to self and who I am in relation to my mind and walking my process of realignment to life in oneness and equality in what is best for all life. I have been researching and looking within myself on what this points represents in terms of the mind map, as the mind is structured within the physical body as a system as the organs, layered within and through it. So as I continue to think and act in reaction as energy addiction, I am layering more and more of the mind network as self harm and abuse of life, until I stop this will not stop. 

I can use the weight point as an indication of physical real support as the correction process i am underway with is walked and lived. I should reduce my weight and as I redefine and correct myself through words, I will also correct as I am seeing it and make sense the weight will lesson as I no longer allow the layering of the mind as information and knowledge through thinking and energy.

 

(chat gpt picture source)

I will start with my gut, and the gut is where we say 'you can trust your gut', so within this weight being layered physically, it shows I am protecting and thus accumulating fat in the gut. Fat is stored because it is not being moved/used. So i for instance am not using/moving myself within self trust, I am not trusting myself, and what is holding me back is the memories of the past. There has been significant memories I can see and relate to that I am in fact holding  onto, not releasing them as a point of self support, defining myself still by them, and thus stiffing and suppressing myself as the trust of who i am as life and my alignment in what is best for all life as I speak and live my self forgiveness and correction as living words. 

 I can see the memories and how I have been defining myself within them in fear, creating more and more networks of information as i keep remembering them and interpreting more and more about it, as this is what the mind does, builds with memories as information and knowledge gathered through our interactions and thus our interpretations through thoughts, feelings and emotions. These are the mechanisms of the mind consciousness system, it builds and accumulates information stored in our body and our body is taking the brunt of the pain/abuse/ and harm, as we blissfully at times follow the mind as a separate bubble while the mind feeds off of us as our life force/physical body and tears strands of the physical body. 

Breathing through these memories, walking the self forgiveness, living the words as correction and self here as breath, will inturn release the memories/information and energy being generated by the mind through the use of the body, and thus the information will diminish as the gut in this instance will go down in weight ( if this is the point, will be tested in real time) and in this the systems as the mind in the gut will release and eventually end as the mind no longer is able to gather energy/physical life force of self as self has stopped the supply, by stopping the thoughts. 

So here I will walk my self forgiveness on these memories, this by breathing and seeing within what is here to work with, trusting self and working with the mind/physical/life/self to in fact and self honesty walk the self correction process as i sound it and will live words and breathe, release, and create myself here in self trust - as the correction process of real time living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of the past where i gave into desire/want/self interest as getting out of resistance within a relationship, where i saw that i was not working with the physical as the practical point of releasing the agreement, but let it go based on external factors as well as fear of facing myself and believing i will be harmed or abused through someone that doesn't show me the love i desire as affection and making me feel like a 'queen'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within the point of letting go of the relationship/agreement i was going based on my desire to be loved, shown love as niceties and warm words, and thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to end the relationship/agreement due to the point of fearing not getting this and that i would get it some where else.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not in fact show and live the point of self love, where i stand within myself and show myself love, care, and affection as self respect and self nurturing, and in this not actually need or require this, but be able to stand as it as an example and then receive it naturally as the expression of others/self opens to it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to need my man to trust and care for me, when i am showing within and as that need and desire that i am not in fact giving love and care as self trust to myself. 

 

 "You will only trust yourself when you live your correction in every moment,  regardless of how difficult it seems or how many times you fall. Trust is earned through living." — Bernard Poolman

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my partner as a bad person/bad lover when i see, realize, and understand i was actually showing to myself who i was in the agreement/relationship as i was in fact seeking this, and not actually giving as i would like to receive as i was in much self judgment and self hatred/anger.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  allow external forces such as songs interpretations/lyrics/melodies have a point of decision making within who and how i am as a point of following and wanting to be led, supported, when i see, realize, and understand that these songs are preprogrammed and if done within a following I am following the preprogramming of myself and mind which in fact supported with the separation of beings/life here. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow thoughts and beliefs of 'he is too mean' , 'he is going to hurt me', 'he is so greedy', 'i can't stand him', 'i can't do this anymore', ' i will be better off alone', 'i am not going to be able to do this for my life'. And so i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my partner/relationship/agreement rather then forgiving the thoughts as they are not real/not reality based, but preprogrammed to separate and suck self dry as self allows and accepts the separation of the mind by accepting and allowing the play out of preprogrammed events as thoughts and acting out the thoughts as reactions in anger/disgust/hate and ending the agreement/commitment for life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel very sad and angry at myself for letting go of the commitment i made with this being for life, and ruined the point without walking the life tools and working with the living words process as principled living as what is best for all, and allowed myself to fall and fail.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to allow and accept an external source like tarot/physics/channels dictate who i am based on belief in numbers/signs, when i see, realize, and understand the are preprogrammed and not relevant to self direction in self honesty in what is best for all, a practical living as self live here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as ugly/stupid/not a good partner, and so always inferiority myself and so i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  believe the mind as it says the things as ugly/loser/stupid with memories of my past in school where i was bullied and not accepted through name calling and competition.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memories of being bullied at school and when my father would call me names and thus go against any type of male relationship as i see that i would potentially be abused cause i didn't have much defense as i was weak.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by others within harm and pain that they push onto me from themselves as i see, realize, and understand we are all walking this process to life, and all require to walk self forgiveness and living change, that it is not personal ever, and only if i allow it to effect direct me.

I forgive myself to judge those who hurt me in the past and judge men with a certain signature of believing they are cool while using force in words, i see, realize, and understand this is not who i am and does not define me as i realize, see, and understand i define me as who i am and this is life one and equal in what is best for all life as i live and align with life here.  

I forgive msyelf that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the past as my past relationship, i release it as a point of learning and understanding as who i am within where i am not yet aligned with life, and that i am here able to walk the correction and work with current points and relationship/agreements as well as redefine and walk with the past relationship to align it back to what is best for all as what make sense for each moving forward. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the idea that i can ont move past this, i am to be punished forever for falling in this agreement as i see where it did lead as consequences that could have been avoided and thus harm prevented, though it is here and it was what was walked, so i let it go and move here fresh and new as i forgive myself, release and let go of the past, and recreate myself in self care and self love as i see i am committed to walk the correction and self honesty of the realignment with myself as life and trusting myself here as i correct and live in my day to day, breathe by breathe moments as living words.

 

I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as i see i am going into fear of being harmed by men/mean people, i realize it is not personal and i bring them into me and stand equal in seeing their potential and hold it as i hold it for myself and direct myself in common sense as i live practical living that will support for self realization and self support. 

I commit myself to when and as i see i am going into beliefs of wanting to think something about the past, i release the memory as i forgive any reactions, and breathe, bring myself to physical breath, and express myself in self trust as i look here and direct myself in what is best for all as a self direction, living the word self direction, self trust, and self movement. 

I commit myself to when and as i desire an external source, i stop and breath, and realize that this done in a self following as need, i am being trapped by the mind as separation, and thus i let go of the desires/need and direct myself to live the solution for myself physically no matter how long it takes. 

I commit myself to live the word discipline as i let go of the mind as thoughts/memories of my past agreement/relationship, realizing and seeing that it is a learning experience and that to live the correction in my next agreement where i stand the test of time and work through the reactions/memories/fears/reactions with self forgiveness, openness, self honesty, and communication to find and live solutions that is best for all.

I commit myself to release built up stress as these memories through breathing and living the word self acceptance, self care, and letting go. 

I commit myself to release myself from these past and do my best with aligning myself in my words as my living that supports myself as how i would like to be supported and supported others equal as so in breathe and self discipline.  

 I commit myself to show myself self love as self acceptance as i continue to apply myself in self dedication to stop all harm and anger/hate and give to myself equally as i'd like others to give to me.

 I commit myself to stop all thoughts as self harm and harm to others that are judgmental in nature and live the words stop and equality and oneness as life and self responsibility as i live within what is best for all in the moments and direct myself in common sense that is best for all.

More support at - 

lwww.lite.desteniiprocess.com 

wiki.desteni.org 

equal money system- a system to bring heaven here through oneness and equality - link here - https://web.archive.org/web/201102110...
Self Perfected - Destonian network support on fb

www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool! 

Day 26 - Living with myself

 

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to dislike myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at myself for falling.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become pissed off at myself for falling.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to go into a point of self pity and self hate when i don't achieve the process of self perfection in a way that works for all as in the time frame i believe i should get this process done.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into petrification within the understanding of the consequences i create when i do fall and go into the realization that i didn't not stand for life, i did not support solutions/life/self, and thus i caused abuse and suffering to myself and all life as myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen within a point of being special, being important and feeling like i matter in this process, seeking the praise and honor of a being that walks through and stands within challenges and thus is seen as strong and powerful.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as strong so i can survive in this world and reap the benefits of a life with money and prestige, people who want to be around and support me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to impress people when i walk my process, seeing me as getting it, and smart/intelligent as i move through the information and will be able to stand and support with world change.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into blaming the beings involved in my action of falling, making it about the others and what they did to me, and in this believe i am not responsible for the fall and the outcome of myself within it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility within a point of self responsibility within the fall where i indeed had the opportunity to stand my word and thus live the solutions, but chose to walk into and as the mind as greed, desire, self interest, and thinking patterns that i followed.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within the thoughts of wanting what i did in the moment to fall, i did not care of the consequences of what i would face and could not see the reality that was playing out before my eyes, and thus become ignorantly blissful and blind to the hard and disciplined walk i was indeed required to face and stand within and thus in this  did not stand the point.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become ignorant to the crys and screams of the suffering in this world, who are taken the brunt of the harm that all life as myself is doing when i/all live in separation with self and what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear i will not make process and go into pain and anger when i realize and see that i fucked myself within falling and giving into my desires and mind thinking. 

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self anger and judge myself for falling as i see, realize, and understand i am still here and still walking my process to life, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as weak and not capable of standing 100 percent through the challenges of the mind, and thus allowed the beliefs to supersede breathing and walking what is best for all in the moments.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self belief that i am inferior because of my thoughts that 'i am not sure' 'i am confused' 'i can't figure it out'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought of i am not sure, i am confused, and i can't figure it out' as a negative experience, when i see i can redefine these words to show the practical steps to dig deeper in understanding and walk solutions through testing to see what works best. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought that i am inferior, when i see, realize and understand i can redefine this word to stand as a point where i am in a new stage of understanding something or i am in need of more practice to get established in the point/weakness, and in this gain strength and stamina as i walk the process of integration and living to a point of proven reality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word and feeling of inferior when i go heavy and depressed in my body, believing the physical energetic experience of being less then, not worthy, or not able to cope, when i see, realize and understand the correction is to move into more education and practicing the point to a degree where i am able to live it more and more and become one with the point and so become strong. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for falling and failing cause i believe thoughts that i am the cause of the mind empowering itself, i harmed all beings by falling, i will never live this down, i will never be able to forgive myself, when i see, realize, and understand this is thoughts and not who i am as the mind is a preprogrammed system, i am life and able to live and determine my movement here through practical and physcial effort to build words and living applications for the words as direct definitions to support me to live as an example for others if they may need support as this is what life does.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel unworthy of life rather then realizing i am one and equal with life, and thus i am here.

 I commit myself to stand within the living word of breathing and releasing thoughts so i do not align and cycle into thought patterns and thus i stop the outflow of the fall.

I commit myself to live the word of inferior to be a point i am weak in practically, and work at that point until i am able to stand in it and feel stable.

I commit myself to stop self judgement of a fall, and realize it is part of life/process and will happen time and time again until i physically stop the point and be life which does not fall/fail.

I commit myself to stop all beliefs, and work with silence/breathe and living words i can actually prove as who i am. 

I commit myself to stop all blame forever and take self responsibility for myself and change to stand as the living example in humbleness. 

I commit msyelf to stop the polarity of love/hate, like/dislike, and redefine to align with life, as love is only real when all are able to be treated with dignity as a world solution/equal money system, like/dislike as a point of bringing this back to myself and seeing where i am indulging or resisting and live it in a way that honors all life, and support myself here with practical solutions and breathing here with no mind/thoughts, self forgiveness, and self change. 

 

More support at - 

lwww.lite.desteniiprocess.com 

wiki.desteni.org 

equal money system- a system to bring heaven here through oneness and equality - link here - https://web.archive.org/web/201102110...
Self Perfected - Destonian network support on fb

www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool! 

 

Day 25 - to give is to ensure all get, and then one receive - life here = who we really are

 

I was listening to 'Revenge of the Ego' by Bernard Poolman today, he is discussing on the many ways were ego as the personification of self within self interest is actually an awareness as consciousness, an entity derived from the mind consciousness system which humanity is interdimensionally controlled and enslaved by, this is seen without as the current war and abuse happening all over our planet. These things do not just manifest out of the blue and it is not 'god's will, as any being that is omnipresent and omni potent such as 'god' which i see as life would never accept and allow war/abuse. Though within ego as self interest personified by self, where only self in one's bubble world is considered can this 'will' of self be lived out where self in one's thoughts think 'ah, i wish they would just go and die' or 'i hate that person, they are so annoying' believing that those thoughts have no consequence, when in fact these thoughts are creating self and intensifying and giving life to the ego of self and the enslavement of all beings through the mind consciousness system. 

The desteni process at lite.desteniiprocess.com ( free beginner course) to start one on this process of self honesty and self forgiveness, as the method and means to let go of the mind and reconnect with self here, the part of life that is and always has been one and equal with all things. Self is able to walk self forgiveness giving back to self the ability to respond differently to these looping patterns of mind thinking/memories that will cycle, self can correct the living to be of ego, of separation, back to life, in the self directive will that self have the capability and empowerment to bring self to walk this process and change. I am currently walking this process, its a process where self will fall, and fall, and fall, but the point is not about judgment of self or anyone for that matter, but to forgive oneself and get back up, always get back up and continue the process until self is here, breathing, and always in all ways walking self responsibility as self forgiveness lived doing and receiving what is best for all always. These are through living words, where technotutor is a supportive tool to purify words and rebuild self in one's natural learning ability to become empowered through understanding the words one speak and in this being able to direct one's world extremely effective as one is living what one is learning, embodying.

The process of aligning oneself to self forgiveness, we dismantle the ego, understand and forgive self for participating in harm to self and others, and recreate self in a way that is best for all in the principles of life, of creation, which is oneness and equality of all beings/all life here. This is the directive of life, and in this this is where the giving of everything until everyone gets is fact, within equality and oneness, it is not fulfilled until all are getting/being supported by what is here in the best way possible for all as self would like. Its a paradigm shift from the mind but what in fact is actually real, the ego has run rampant in our world and reality, though it is not the only way of life, it's actually a very limited form of life, the mind consciousness as we see how limited the human being has become, but we are capable of much much more. Life shares that self will only have access to life through amalgamating with and living these principles as living words, and this is awesome as this is the solution to our world hardships and current fears. There is solutions always, one must not ever give up on what is here, life, and self as life, please join the links below and ask for support if needed. 

Also, the equal money system is a system brought through by desteni and is a solution for the current money system of capitalism which is a limited and destructive system as many die and suffer due to the limited availability to have and keep money as it's controlled at the top. Though this will fall and so will our way of life as the mind fall, equal money system is a system worth researching and sharing about as we see the struggle and nature of the way in which the ego as self creates, war, famine, poverty, suffering, equal money will solve all of these and make each being a millionaire. This is a fact and this is fulfilling the proverb and age old truth, one Bernard shared many times in his talks and words, to give so all get and then self receive, being humble and patient until life is one and equal and all life is cared for. The more who stand for solutions that is best for all, the stronger we will be and the critical mass will be reached to tip the scales, it's up to self, there is always solutions and never give up even when it's tough, the tools will support so suggest practice them through self study and application. Enjoy.

Self forgiveness on my ego:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to stay in the mind as ego because it feels good when i win and get to be on top.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self praise where i only see my wants, needs and desires as i have separated myself from life through believing that there is some who are more and some who are less as a judgment of beliefs and ideas that only is formed and exist in the ego of self as the mind consciousness system creates, as i see, realize, and understand equality and oneness of all life includes all that is here and leaves no one out standing on the physical of what makes all exist, life is what is here, the mind as ego is a parasite that requires the physical as the physical body to exist as it sucks the physical dry through thinking and the subsequent processes of mind layers as emotions, feelings and energy generation through and as substance as the source. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to choice the mind as ego as my own self interest as wants, needs, and desires over the life that is here in all forms ensure in this that all life is treated and sustained in equality and oneness as the principles of give as i'd like to receive as the law of the universe as life, and thus become greedy, selfish and a destroyer of life wasting the gift i was given as my physical self and body to create here in this wonder as this world as earth.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become ungrateful and full of emotions and feelings as i cycle in the endless trap of beliefs, justifications, desires, ideas, and thoughts as memories of what is real, when i see i am not ever in reality as what is here as self in the physical as the breathe, as i see, realize, and understand that the past doesn't exist nor the future, but only as an illusion as i live within and suck my resources away as my physical body substance as the mind sucks out the substance of life in my physical as i think and so equal and one without as i suck out the resources of the earth to survive. I see, realize, and understand i do not have to think, i can remain here in breath, and receive as i'd like to have if i was any being here as i give this as the principles i live and that live here one and equal for and as all life as i give and all get, i will then receive.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that some beings deserve more then others, as i exist in my imagination in my mind thinking in the past and in the future about things when i see, realize, and understand this is not reality, this is not real as i am not here, i am not existing in the physical and thus my assessment of others can not be trusted.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself ot base my entire existence on the idea that some are more then others and in this try and win, be more, compete, when i see, realize, and understand this is not the way of life, but of ego as the mind consciousness system a parasite to life which suck life from the host as the physical substance which is here unconditionally as life in what is best for all equal and one. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the trap of judgments of myself and others believing my opposite polarities of this and not that or that and not this, when in fact i see, realize, and understand i am everything, i have not yet taken responsibility of myself as everything, and this i see, realize, and understand in gratefulness i can receive this life as self within self forgiveness and self correction where i can give back to myself in all forms that what i once took for myself and in this harmed.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to harm life in any way what so ever with the desire/want/need of separation in any form or manifestation as thought, emotions, feelings, and memories, where i let go of this separation through gratefulness and live the correcting by ensuring all get and when all are given fully and equally as one as life as myself, then i can receive in kind and be in kind as the human kind as a race that give freely what the earth as life here manifest gives freely for all to enjoy equal and one as self would like to enjoy, its here though self have to live it i realize. 

I commit myself to become humble letting go of any and all separation of myself into dimensions of the mind and in this i bring myself back here to my breathing, direct myself in living words that support what is best for all.

I commit myself to not give up or give in to the ego ever and thus give until all get and life is one and equal.

I commit myself to share and communicate these solutions as life here in the principles of oneness nad equality until life remains and self is here as breathe as an equal money system. 

I commit myself to release myself through self forgiveness and walking the living correction as my self through living my words that manifest equality and oneness of all life as what is here as what is real, the physical and ensuring all life live in dignity. 

I commit myself to not give up until all life is here one and equal.

I commit myself to stop my mind through writing and speaking self forgiveness and living this as i align myself back to life.

I commit myself to remain humble and face my ego when it arises and i see it activate as i see it is no way to live and is not best for all.

I commit myself to share the tools of life that will birth life from the physical always pushing my mind limits and challenge the minds of humanity as this is what i'd want if i was in the other shoes. 

Equal Life self support links to check out if you are interested:

http://www.desteni.org
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
Bernard Poolman - What the FAQ - Equal Money System « EQAFE
(5) Self-Perfected | Facebook
http://www.techno-tutor.com
Equal Money Wiki - YouTube

Day 24 - The Common Sense Dilemma, a new system that is best for all life

Equal Money System Book link - Vol 1

In this day and age, we are currently facing the extreme suffering of so many beings on this planet, we as human beings have not realized the understanding of the equality and oneness of all life, the equal right of all to live in dignity to the resources that is here equally given by earth for all, and in this we claim that we have common sense, we are good, and we know what we are doing. But there has to be some common sense applied, I myself am seeing the dilemma within myself that the obviousness of the suffering and terrible conditions for so many in this world is extreme, we see it every day, is it that we ourselves, each being have to touch it to finally stop, I myself unfortunately at times see it sometimes has to ge to this point. Due to aloofness, laziness, or arrogance. It also can be points of greed and desire that actually self don't really care about what is happening to our neighbors, to nature and the animal kingdoms. We have believed that it always has existed like this? It'll always be here, Really? 

We live on a finite planet where the resources are not able to sustain the greed we are consuming within ourselves and the human race. We don't realize that we are in fact equal and one, and are creating ourselves within the way we act, think, and speak, the creation of consuming as we see in our world is because we are actually consuming our physical bodies. (for more check out eqafe.com - reptilians 32) But we do have the capacity for common sense and correcting our lives to live one and equal, that is why desteni.org was created to support the human as the one who is not yet aligned to life here one and equal with getting here through breathe awareness, self forgiveness and living words. 

Picture source - Gaza: Hundreds of thousands are starving as famine arrives at ‘incredible speed,’ UN aid chief warns | CNN

There is some who do in fact want to keep things separate cause they profit and its easier, though in the long run consequence is here to be faced and growing, these beings (such as some elite) are in a delusion based on their dishonesties, we all have these alignments within us though make no mistake, so no one being or any being can be blamed. I myself am responsible for myself and all my dishonesties, and one can only forgive oneself and stand as the solution. But I am seeing and expressing here that we don't have to create mass amounts of suffering in this world to see that we can in deed change the world through changing ourselves, we can as a group come together - the equal money system is the solution for this money system we are currently facing and enslaved by, capitalism. 

Capitalism is based on competition and winner take all, this is actually a barbaric way of existing, we do not have to live in such a way, the majority needs to realize these points of all is one and equal and agree to a new system that'll support all life, this is why equal money system was created, to fulfill this need. Where all are taken care of from birth to death and real freedom is realized through individual and collective responsibility to ensure love thy neighbor as thyself is lived and create in the world we all live in, given to us as the support unconditionally through this earth, nature, the animal kingdom as examples of life realized here. 

The mind creates complexity but common sense is not complex, it is simple, just like who we are we are not complex, but breathe living beings in what is best for all, it is the facts of the reality of what is here, such as:

-there is 8 billion people on the planet, that require housing, money, electricity, sustainable resources to live within, an income to buy goods, a way to create and support the community/self, and a way to express themselves in their passions and joy.

-so this requires mathematics, say a family unit is 4 people as a reference example, so that is 2 billion houses are required, a basic income of dignity, say 8 thousand a month per person, the wealth accumulated through the labor system we implement where each one work specific alignments to their skill to support the community for 4-6 years. Similar to the military setup, except it is for the upkeep and best alignment for all in the community and all communities around the world never for harm. This is fundamental and is seen within and throughout the principles of the equal money system and the desteni i process, the inner and outer correction of life alignment here as human nature. This is seen within the foundational principles of Life as well that we are all equal and one as life and we in this understanding live what is best for all allways as who we are. Those that fall, require self responsibility, self honesty, and immediate correction within and as the self process of correction to align back to life and stop any and all harm.  

- This is all aligned in the equal money system layout by Desteni.org and Bernard Poolman from which I share links below for further research for the you the reader, so the layout in common sense has been walked in this material. Though it is also suggested to support with community connection and your own expression to help be a plus one and support those who are interested and want to see a better world for all. This self can practically apply in our day to day life, working with the power of 10, where each being support 10 beings at least in your sphere of influence getting them on their path of self forgiveness and living words that are one and equal as life in what is best for all. 

Also, tools such as technotutor will be a foundational support to help speed up the learning process by purifying words and correcting misplaced words in the physical body, the natural learning ability is engage and supports the child/adult with direct memory access to reprogram the physical body to be more purified and direct with understanding ones world through the words one learns and integrates.  

-We don't require leaders and governments to dictate these things to us, where we align our lives to what people say to us as presidents as a master/slave dynamic, based on the way the current capitalistic money is set up, some win and many loss, and that is seen as normal and ok as a byproduct of the world we live in. This is how it is? really, it does not have to be, we can change it, though understand its not a easy or quick process as the desteni material exemplifies, but it is doable and structured to support all who dare to care and walk their process. 

-We can come together as self leaders as equals and realize that through all as standing in self responsibility and self-forgiveness, as a one group as the human race, we can change the world. We do it with products such as the apple iphone, we can indeed do it with the way our world is currently existing, it takes an understanding and realization that its not an overnight quick fix, but it is a individual and collective journey of agreement to get this done. To eventually as we change, bring through a world and money system that supports all life equally. We will eventually be forced to it by life through hardship and struggle if we don't actively start changing and making this world a place where all can live. I found its from realizing that we can in fact expand, grow, and be a being that supports a new way of living, equal money system is the structure and guideline to support this change throughout time and into the new world order of equality and oneness and what is best for all. 

It is all here, the earth provides for us unconditionally - as i have realized through the throws of the process of self forgiveness and facing my demons as we all will, it is worth it, we as a humanity and life here are worth it, it is possible, we must stand together and find the will of self forgive and create a new system that is best for all. Mistakes and falls will happen, though that is what self forgiveness is for, only self can forgive self, and the material at desteni specifically supports with understanding the mind consciousness system, a interdimensional system within our physical controlling and surviving off of us like a parasite, this has actually become self. So self is rebirthing to and as life, who we have always been in our essence, life is always here, it's in our breath in the physical. 

 

Some numbers of what it'll take to support all, not much, as an example the USA military budget is 1 trillion per year as budgetted in 2025, we can support all life with that for sure in one year, and that is just one countries military budget.Its not about the money or enough resources, its about who is self, we create here, we decide as self decide. 

Self Forgiveness on the need for more/self interest to support myself in self honesty and self responsibility: 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am not able to see common sense. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not able to calculate what is simple and basic within the one plus one equation to ensure all are supported in this world and reality in the best way possible as i would like to be supported, the one plus one equation.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that each man on this planet is equal and one in the way of life, who i am within myself, we require the same substance and come from the same substance, we are equals and i as self am everything that exist, the others are simply different forms.  

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to want to become better, more, stronger, to gain more money, more fame, more prestige, and in this have more status over others as ego, as the mind that seeks the self interest of me going into indulgence rather then keeping it simple, keeping it balanced, and best for all life which is what is real and what is actually creating this reality. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking self responsibility for all of what is here, the good, bad and ugly of the suffering of this world as i fear the pain i have inflicted and caused in my ignorance. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become weak and fearful in the face of my own creations and indulgences as i have desired to be the best and be the winner, get my needs and desires fulfilled as being at the top, instead of realizing that what is best is not me alone, but a world system where all life is cared for and in this all life is safe, secure, and in real joy as life is free from suffering and consequences and this is what i want for myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my brothers and sisters, not seeing, realizing, and understanding i require not to blame and become emotional, but forgive myself and take self responsibility to correct myself in this that i point fingers at, as i realize i am equally existing in the same system of abuse, and so i correct and stand as the solution as forgiveness and self responsibility to ensure an equal money system is created. I see, realize, and understand that it will require patience and steadfast as myself as we support myself and others to stand and get this living system that is best for all created and so they can support themselves and their plus one as the solution grows and expands as life in what is best for all as the equality of all life lived. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to put my self interest over the interest of all as i see this make no sense and only harms myself and all in the end, and thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create and perpetuate harm and abuse instead of forgiving it, standing the correction as myself, and create a system as i create who i am in what is best for all life, equal and one. 

I commit myself to use the common sense equation of one plus one to ensure each one that is here is cared for with all the needs that are required as a dignity life equal and one to how self would like and require in a world that is best for all, through the principles of what is best for all and equality and oneness as self live and prove it real as it then will become physical as an equality system for all. 

I commit myself to push and persevere as i forgive the evil of myself and correct myself as the system i live within as i support myself and others to see the equal and one principles of all life and see this through until it is a living system we all can enjoy and stand within.

I commit myself to forgive myself and stand in the shoes of others and find solutions that is best for all.

I commit myself to support implementing an equal money system so life can stop being abused and harmed and we can all flourish as earth and life give freely and unconditionally as our true nature allows self fulfillment through the fulfillment of what is best for all in purity and real innocence as the sense/source of the beingness of all is understood in equality and oneness and lived and proven in the physical world as the implementation and realization of an equal money system which is one and equal and what is best for all life lived, this a gift of self forgiveness as the human transcend self's mind and become life here as breathe always in what is best for all the true free choice. 

Equal Life self support links to check out if you are interested:

http://www.desteni.org
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
Bernard Poolman - What the FAQ - Equal Money System « EQAFE
(5) Self-Perfected | Facebook
http://www.techno-tutor.com
Equal Money Wiki - YouTube

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Day 23 - Equal Money System & Desteni I Process - Solutions for a world that is best for all - 1 of 30

 Equal Money System and Desteni I Process - New World Best for All 1 of 30

my video - please click the link above

Starting a new series to support myself to stay consistent and disciplined, as well as supporting with sharing and giving to others insight that have I have realized over my many years of walking self honesty, self forgiveness, and the ups and downs with this. This always to bring it back to the support of what is best for all beings. I want to spread awareness in support of everyone to understand solutions are here, it takes self honesty and common sense, enjoy.

http://www.desteni.org

http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Bernard Poolman - What the FAQ - Equal Money System « EQAFE

(5) Self-Perfected | Facebook

http://www.techno-tutor.com

Equal Money Wiki - YouTube