Day 32 - The Gift in Self of Being Grateful

 

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One of the points I keep going back to as a living word especially when my mind goes into bullying myself and/or my external world has been gratefulness and letting go. Literally realizing if i can not go into gratefulness which in my physical body does feel like a release, where i bring all the energy starting to fester and bubble, like blame or accusing others of some sort of judgment /anger - into my physical down through my chest, legs and out through my feet and realizing all of the things in my life i have been given. Life is in fact a gift, i didn't create it myself/i don't own it, i was given this life and have been quite fortunate.

The default for the human mind i have found is the need and desire to have or get, as energy generation and then eventual possession of emotions and feelings through lots of thinking, which make sense with where self is with the mind and how it was created, this is what it does, Though, through time i have found this grounding point of physically releasing through a self aware decision through the living of being grateful rather then in a state of lack. This living application of having enough through the expression of gratefulness for what i already have has been an anchor word/living application to support with stopping the mind, letting go through breathing, and moving on to what is best for all.

Here again where the life principles support me a lot as a foundation - oneness and equality and what is best for all, the default principles for life. 

More support at -

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

wiki.desteni.org

equalmoney.org

Self Perfected - Destonian network support on fb

www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool!

 

Day 32 - Getting up from Rock Bottom

I’ve been looking at the point of hitting rock bottom, I have been there for my self relatively recently and standing back up from it to stability. There is a point within it, where I experienced myself of losing everything, my goals, my mental health, my physical health, my support system, friends, family, and work/process. at this point when I thought all was lost, I literally lost all stability, I saw everything as lost and in that state I really pushed the limits of others support and my own sanity at times. The mind at this time I realized when all feels lost, all efforts feel futile, and the world seems like it’s going the opposite of best for self and all, that the mind as well as life is giving self an opportunity to yes go through the shit, but for self to realize that which is shit is actually the fertilizer for self to change. To change that which is in the process of breaking down and becoming destroyed, it’s painful yes and can feel ruined. But in such moments there is grace and life always re-emerges in its own way, self emerges through it, as long as self doesn’t give up or give in at the times when one feels like your in a thousand pieces and not stable.

Getting through that hard phase and standing up again takes time and patience of self and those who are in your world to support, I now realize much more about myself, others, and life as well as the mind, to not only support myself but be here to support others who may or will go through similar or the same type of experiences. I am grateful that I am getting stable again and have pushed myself to live the words of consistency, strength, humbleness, patience, self care, and self healing as I gracefully to the best of my ability start again, ask for forgiveness from myself and those I hurt, let go of the past, and start again and keep creating me. My goal & principles has always been clear with oneness & equality and I am seeing how awesome it is a foundation for myself and humans to live by.

They, the life principles, do stand the test of time and I am still in awe of life itself, the stable yet flow of its creation and magnificence and the ability of forgiveness as a grace to start again, even for the toughest times we all face, there is another day, another chance, the sun will rise as breathe is constant, i am grateful and do not take it for granted any longer. This quite a process to walk and learn, but always worth it.

Day 31 - Desires are everywhere - Process Support and SF

More on desire, desire is a tantalizing energy, I understand it as a movement within a moment of thinking where the thinking has a force to it, like pulling, and in this pulling, there is much behind it, many thoughts of what ifs, what could be, how I can get this or that, and in this there is the point of self decision to stand or fall into the mind of this outplay. I am seeing that this decision of stand, stand, stand is a consistent constant decision within self, as well as a point of self direction that equally has to be decided upon, self decide, self decide, self decide, and in this one come to the principle of self responsibility to live and align with what is best for all life. The longer this self process takes, the longer this will take for all life, that is the consequence, and depending on what self decide, this will be lived out in self’s living reality.

I was gifted with some sound understanding yesterday, saying that the ripples will be created based on one’s decision, based on how one decide, this will and can go on for years to come. In the moments, the desire can be so strong, so impending, and so intoxicating that self believe that I just have to indulge. I have learned over time that the decision is key, to stop, and find a way that is best for all life. This I find means to work with self, locally, in what self can stand within and align to life in what is best. Getting strong and stable in the small moments, which will support in the bigger more intense moments,.

One of the main desires I had was in relationship, desiring to be with a being that had power and also desiring to match that being and be strong, powerful, and in that desiring the ‘goods’ that go with it, wealth, status, freedom, and praise. The design of it I am seeing to support me in the structure of the day to day life where I will face and do face these points again, is the positive and negative cycle, seeking something outside myself to fulfill me, and in this creating the oppositie lack where In I am saying to myself as life, I am lost, I don’t know who I am, and thus I am going to create in separation and harm due to this idea and living within the mind. The mind being that which is creating that force, the energy of desire, and in this I am one and equal, I am this mind, I am the desires, and I am the one living them out.

Working with the living words process, I am seeing that I actually have to do this for myself, I am not going to have any strong and powerful being as my perfect partner show me the way, and I am not just going to magically become such a being, as I understand that doesn’t really exist. No one and no thing is more powerful then the least among us, meaning the weakest which if one is not able to stand in that moment and support life to be best for all, then the point of suffering will continue. This is really the point, ending suffering of all kinds, through the actions of self stand through what is best for all, and stand until this point is done. I am realizing, it does not mean suffering will end, but that there is a process of self to walk until the suffering does end for all, then the suffering will end for self.

Those with the courage to stand and continue to walk self forgiveness, self change, and what is best for all in one and equal value of life, will support those to walk the same path, and then this will continue until all is equal and one through and through.

There is no short cut, no cheat code, no special treatment, and I find when I desire this, flag it, forgive myself for these desire, and find the path that is self honest and will in fact support myself to life, to my best, and the best of all. I am using living words like patience, recognizing the essence in myself as life and that of all who I meet, I am working with the words self forgiveness, where I forgive myself and ask forgiveness where necessary to support with mending the paths I have created from my past as a point of self correction to then in fact be able to create new potentials. I see that life has many such opportunities , and to not give up on self, on life here as all, and especially on the point that life is here, life will prevail always, and self is life as all as one as equal. Breathing! Yes, this is a key to work through the desires and energies, and as the storm passes, self see more clear, the energy dies down, and what remain is nature, this world, the beings, and self - we/i will always remain, best i have found to be self honest, stand with integrity and humbleness, and breathe through the storms as well as the calm, self remain as life remain and so we are here. Until we are complete and whole, and can create in a way where the suffering truly ends and we have found self, always here and always aware.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be special, to have a powerful partner, and to equalize myself with the partners power as an example.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be powerful, to have wealth, resources, praise, and freedom within the system of being seen and heard as a point of worship.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be worshiped, to desire to be idolized, to have people want to be me and thus validate who i am within myself as someone that is worthy, cool, special, powerful, and influential.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as flawed, as a mistake, as someone with no worth or value to contribute.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not worthy, that i have no way to be able to walk a point of integrity and real value that’ll do anything significant to support real change in this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted nad allowed myself to rether escape into desire as entertainment, highs, fantasies and beliefs of gifts from life i will be given if i just get this done.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be given gifts from life, in the belief that life will take care of me cause i am special, i am good, i am a kind person, and thus abdicate myself self responsibility to live here within and as the alignment of what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hope for a savior, hope for someone or something to show me the way through this mess of a world and self, instead of seeing realizing nad understanding i actually am creating such mess and thus i have to change myself to in fact align with the solution to support with real solutions that are best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be saved, to have Jesus see me as special, and thus believe in that thought that I will be saved if i am seen by another being who exemplifies life as someone who is special, good, and walking well.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seek praise due to the desire to be seen as more then because within myself i judge myself as less.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the belief that i am not good or smart due to the memories of being bullied. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the bullies as mean and nasty, instead of seeing that within the bullying actions it shows a lack of awareness within the understanding of who self is as one and equal with all. I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not stand within the shoes of others and work with self honest assessment to share and care if i see a door is open to or let go and find another moment where a supportive point can get through, ensuring that i am clear and here and not reacting in any way.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to react to others bullying me and thus bully others to make myself feel more.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have lack within myself in any way what so ever, and thus give up when change is here for self to fulfill in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others in blame, and in this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not become mature within the process of self honesty and self correction, where i stand within and as the solution until the solution of life manifest and do what is necessary to see this point through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize within myself when i do in fact stand and walk within integrity, seeing myself in a wholesome and fulfilled way to ensure i am here and clear with who i am, neither lacking or desiring, but breathing and directing myself in each moment in what is best for all.

I commit myself to breathe through any and all reactions and desires within myself, gain awareness of myself, and direct myself in a way of self responsible self care through what is in fact a way forward that i see in those moments in common sense best i am able to that will support all involved.

I commit myself to walk away and let go of the moment if i see i am not stable and require more self investigation and self change, removing rather then reacting and creating more living consequence that is not best for all.

I commit myself to also stand and breathe in the moments where i am challenged to ensure i am in fact self honest and self correcting myself in ways that will support myself to be able to support life here.

I commit myself to continue to apply myself in daily habits that are life giving and self honest to respond to my reality in a way that is in fact best for all until the alignment is here in the physical.

More support at - 

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com 

wiki.desteni.org 

equalmoney.org

Self Perfected - Destonian network support on fb

www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool! 

Day 30 - Poverty in this world, Allowing Poverty within Self

 

“Stop the poverty within yourself — the self-judgment, the limitation, the self-abuse.
Because as long as you accept poverty within you, you will accept poverty in this world.”
— Bernard Poolman 

 I am writing on the understanding that poverty within this world is based on the acceptance and allowance of poverty=lack within myself, I am equally responsible for this creation and manifestation where their is extremes of many with nothing and a few with everything. When in reality life is abundant and can provide and does provide everything necessary to live an abundant life in this world. Though, this world at this time is obviously not ensuring this abundance get's to all life, as many suffer and go without, as above i mentioned the majority goes without. How the human being as myself has accepted and allowed myself to become separate from this abundance of life, is based on the fact of the mind and thinking, which creates a dimensional being that is caught in ideas and beliefs creating the polarities of some have more and most having little. Personally this is reflected within myself where I have allowed to a lack within msyelf such as thoughts I believe and live out of 'I am not good enough', creating submission and self reservation in conversations with others and within myself to go for something I fear doing. This lack manifest within this world so I can experience it as I have actually created it by separating myself from what is here as myself within all that exist, thus the lack of ability to express naturally for instance and bring about common sense among all beings I meet but where I go which is into fear and beliefs that I am not good enough to be equal to 'some' beings.

So it starts with myself. The 'I am not good enough' personality, starting in the thinking realm of this personality, where I allow thoughts of lack, judgment, and self abuse and thus abuse of others equal and one to myself. 

Self Forgiveness on the thought dimension of the 'I am not good enough' character/personality - 

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I lack within the point of who I am here as life in all ways that exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within who I am and where I am as what I exist as I am not enough and don't have enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought that I lack within my looks and self image.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought that I lack within understanding my reality and what is going on within and as relationships in my world. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not good enough to sell products of value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am too far gone in my process to believe that i have any right to believe I have value and have worth in this world and life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I as who I am am enough and thus I am capable of living in a way of what is best for all equal and one within and as this reality where all succeed and all can express freely as I'd like such as with an equal money system being implemented for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that thought that I am always going to lose within sales and expressing myself because i lack confidence and self worth of I can do this, I am strong enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not strong enough to make it in this world and get across the grit it is required to bring about a world that is best for all through an equal money system and education that supports all life. 

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I lack anything as life here one and equal with all other beings here, and that I am in fact not able within the belief that I am not worthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to walk what is here as life, when I see, realize, and understand that each moment is new and each moment is here and thus I as myself am able to walk and breath and forgive myself and create myself in a way that is best for all as I am here breathing walking breath by breath, the moment is always here for self change.

I forgive myself  that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold an image of me in my mind of being judged as a child when I was in school and thus hold that energy of lack and self judgment as a prison sustenance i have to hold to as a belief of being not liked, when I see, realize, and understand this is a lack of vocabulary and self understanding for all involved and that each one is more then capable to be their highest potential through self acceptance, self forgiveness, and self corrective living through words and self willed action in the principles of life in what is best for all one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others within the basis of judgment of look, race, image, language, clothes, hair, hair color, hair cut, make up, non make up, fat, skinny, tall, short, acne, clear, beautiful, ugly, smart, stupid, rich, poor, intelligent, well spoken, illiterate, dumb, and so I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to label myself and another as myself in this reality based on polarities within words, instead of redefining the word and so seeing all beings based on the direct definition. Within that I see, realize, and understand I then can stand in the others shoes and support them to see as I see one and equal as a direct definition to reach common sense and solutions that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge myself based on polarities within words as good or bad, instead of seeing all one and equal to myself as life and in this what i can do to support a way for myself and so the other to reach our highest potentials in what is best for all, no matter what that takes as a means of pushing self beyond limitations so life can birth through and one go beyond the limits of the mind consciousness system as the closed system it is. Life is not closed nor limited, thus I am not closed off nor limited within my capacities here

. 

"Poverty exists because we allow a system where money is valued more than life. Until we change the system and ourselves, poverty will remain the consequence of our acceptances."
— Bernard Poolman 

 

When and as I see myself going into a form of self judgment within words of polarities, I stop and breath, forgive the thought and redefine the word into common sense direct definition that each being as life can apply and in this walk the common sense until all here can stand as the living expression of the word as I have done for myself to the end where a world that is best is lived out one and equal to myself.

When and as I see i am moving into my mind into beliefs of less then or not good enough, I stop and breath, and delete the belief, while living in a way that goes beyond my limitations in that moment and pushes my boundaries into the living expression of myself as life here which will bring about a world that is best for all which will always be best for me.

When and as i see that I am thinking that i lack something, i stop and breathe, and realize I am life as i am here, and thus I lack nothing but am in numerous ways abundanct, I walk this understanding and living application as myself and with others/all until it is here as who I am as all are, which is a world that is best for all.

I commit msyelf to stop all thoughts of lack and move into the living word of gratefulness to be alive and be in this world where self is able to express and be part of the solution where an equal money type system is able and will be created to support all life in what is best one and equal.

I commit myself to stop all limitations by walking through my fears and comfort zones as I rebirth myself as my self expression of life here through living words I create through self forgiveness and principled living of what is best for all.

I commit myself to stand as a point of support as an equal as I help bring through solutions that are best for all such as technotutor to reeducate this world and equal money system to bring a new system that will support all life. 

I commit myself to live the word self acceptance and self confidence as self movement in living solutions as i walk day to day breathe by breath with my commitments i am living that will support me to be my highest potential and thus support others to do the same so we all can live and bring through a world that is best for all. 

More support at - 

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com 

wiki.desteni.org 

equalmoney.org

Self Perfected - Destonian network support on fb

www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool!

Brusitis in the Left Hip Bursa Sac - Feminine Expression - Hardening of Self - Day 29

 

                                                               equalmoney.org

I have had this pain in my left hip for some time, but has been moved into a inflammation within the hip sacs, this has been especially after working through some heavy and deep points in my desteni.org process that I have been walking now for many years. I am realizing that the pain is based on the idea and belief within myself that one, I am not able to move forward after a mistake/fall, being shocked within the self honesty faced of what I was doing/capable of, and how I initially went into blame and self defeat where I allowed myself to wallow in fear, anger, and self hatred. I am seeing the nature of this devaluation of myself in believing I am stuck and can never forgive or again stand after such a fall stems from the belief that I am doomed and shamed forever within this mistake and fall, and I require others to help me back up or help me get the point. There is a point that what I create will always be with me as I created it, yet who I am here in realizing and then changing is what matters and is relevant at this time. Also when in reality, I myself have to get up and stand within myself, realizing that no one is to blame or going to save me, but self is to stand and find a way to do what is best for all within the understand of doing what is best for self. Through this stand you show life and others who you are and equality of life emerges where all are able to be heard and all have a say, cause all are here and responsible for the alignment of what is best for all as a self creation one and equal.

 My mother is an imprint in my mind within this pain in my hip from childhood where I did not feel seen or supported in my troubles by her, so believing that I have to go it alone and I am unworthy of care or support. Though I realize this is not true, I do walk alone yes within myself and my own self honesty, but I am not worthy or useless, I am a being expressing here and responsible for my self correction when I fall or create an idea or belief of something. The fact is that life is direct, life is here, it doesn’t think, it exist, it lives, so self has to apply oneself to live, it’s an action, and so it’s a self willed requirement, no one can do this for me but me. Self does have support within people, material, and nature/animals that can support with insight and solving the issues/problems self believe are insurmountable, but self has to be open to it and learn from it in a way that cause no harm, but give life as self give of oneself for what is best for all. The points one face may be big at times, yes, but each issue/problem can be solved breath by breath, step by step, within an effort to not give up and see it through to stable ground until it’s done. This the quest and the journey of self to rebirth as life, on wards.

 Self forgiveness 

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe a mistake/fall where I did not live into self honesty and what is best for all, but deliberately chose self interest, to be more, I am sentenced forever to suffer and pay for the harm I had caused by not standing for life when it was on the line.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself prisoner in my own mind for a mistake, fall, and self interest moment where i chose the mind rather then standing in that moment for what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe life is not able to change and transform within and as the understanding and self honest walk of what is here, to in fact stop and live in a new way that supports self to live and never again allow and accept such abuse within and as my reality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i don't deserve self forgiveness and self change, and thus i must continually suffer.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not allow to feel gentleness, softness, and care for myself because i made a mistake/fell in my process and life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i do not deserve gentleness and care within myself toward myself because i judge myself as bad, loser, and a demon.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto thoughts of my mistakes, and believe these define me, when i see, realize, and understand they are not real, and thus i have the ability to breathe, let them go, and live here in the physical in a way that will support myself and life as i support all when i stand and support myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i have to hold everything in and never allow anyone to know as i see i need to figure things out by myself and i am too bad or far gone to get anyone to support me or help me out.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am the only one who has fallen in such a way, when i see, realize, and understand many are in the same boat and will equally need the support of themselves and life/others as examples to walk what has to be walked to stand for and as life as the self forgiveness is spoken and lived within the living change in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the shock of the moment of when i found myself in rock bottom where i realized my mistakes and the consequences to face. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize, see, and understand to stand for life i have to stand as myself as life, and in this this require a gentleness and softness at times to support through a point of understanding or patience to work with what is here within msyelf and in this world as the living solution is created and walked.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i have to fight through to survive, when i see, realize, and understand i don't need to survive but give as i'd like to receive until all are here receiving and life is guaranteed in an equal life and equal money system as examples of heaven on earth our/self's true/truth and real nature.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for not being there for me as a child, and thus not realize or understand at the time that my mother was walking here best as she could in the moments and in this she was equally doing her best with what she knew to support me and thus i can not blame but take it back to myself and see where i can learn and align myself to be the solution.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for me being forced more into the nature of having to figure it out on my own, and when i made a mistake, blame her as a point that should have been there, when i see, realize, and understand that she was there in her capacity as she could and that these alignments are points within my process, i must face within myself, change myself, and stand within the consequences as i create and stand as the solution.

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i am trapped, when i see, realize and understand i am here, i am able to create and move myself in a way that is best for all until it is created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent myself for “allowing the mistake,” instead of seeing it as a necessary mirror to show me who I was, so I could realign with who I really am. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself in walking process, believing that because I fell once, I am always on the edge of failure—when in truth, every breath is a new foundation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overcompensate by pushing through pain, inflammation, and exhaustion—believing I must suffer to prove I care or am worthy of life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being seen in my vulnerability is shameful or dangerous when i see, realize, and understand it is a mirror to myself and where i am in fact requiring change and thus showing true strength as being seen but remaining here open and directive of myself to remain and correct myself.

 “You must embrace all parts of yourself, even the ones you have rejected, because all of it is you. Until you stand equal and one with all of it, you will not be free.”

— Bernard Poolman 

I commit myself to stop the believes that i am stuck, in harms way always, and have no way out, but breathing let go of the past, and working with what is here, breathe by breathe, where i give myself the ability to care for myself and the space for gentleness so i can ensure i am seen as i show this within and as my world. 

 I commit myself to receive self care within my own process as i get back up from a mistake/fall and show myself that i still matter and i can keep moving and expanding in a way of self change and self correction. 

When and as i see i am going into self judgment of what i have done, i stop breathe and let go, move into the word self care and self gentleness as i align to my commitment and agreement to life to change and correct myself through self acceptance and doing what is best in the moments to the best of my ability.

I commit myself to stop all blame toward my mother and realize she is me and i could have been her, i see i would want compassion within the understand she was doing the best she could, and i commit myself to take self responsibility for my own actions and consequences, and walk the process to realign, forgive myself, and correct myself into living words such as self responsible, compassion, care, equality and oneness. 

I commit myself to let go of the suffering and harm, i commit myself to embrace my body and this world as the body of life and start the process of self correction as self healing to again be able to align to what is best for all and stand for always as life as me.

I commit myself to stop the internal war with myself, and instead live the gift of correction—gently, consistently—no longer driven by fear of failure, but moved by care for life.

I commit myself to stop hiding or compensating for my past through force, and instead trust the living correction of who I am here, one breath at a time, one decision at a time.

I commit myself to open up to real support—from people, nature, and the tools of life—realizing I am never truly alone when I walk in self-honesty and allow life to move through me.

I commit myself to walk with presence, not punishment—to no longer earn my worth, but express it.

 

Living words to embody - 

Stability - standing stable in myself in my mistakes and my correction, equal and one to myself as life until i am clear and here breathe by breath.

Support - giving myself equal support as care, nurturing, and softness as i would give a child getting back up after a fall.

Softness - standing in understanding as self here as life, allowing myself to let go of the pain and sadness and recreate in a way that is best, correcting and expressing myself as the joy of life that is a gift as honour and grace as i've been given by life as my physical body and this world.  

Grace – the permission to start again without punishment.

Fortitude – quiet strength in the face of consequence.

Allowance – letting life unfold within principled living, not forced control

 

 “Correction is not judgment—it is support. It is the act of aligning with what is best for all, beginning with self. It is the gift you give to yourself: to no longer live as consequence, but as creation.”

— Desteni

 

More support at -

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

wiki.desteni.org

equalmoney.org

Self Perfected - Destonian network support on fb

www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool!

 

 

Day 28 - Allowing Self to Flow - The Hips - Resisting what is here

equalmoney.org

So from working through the points with my gut, and working with trusting myself, I am moving on to the hips, where i am finding them to have gained some weight, and also have some pain in the left side. This pain is in the joint area where it feels as if it has been over worked or over used, compensating for the imbalance of my walk where I tend to put more weight on my left side when walking. So some words to work with here is overcompensating, inflexibility, immobile, constriction, and imbalance. 

I am seeing that due to my relationships in the past and my own self relationship with myself, I have allowed myself to become more left side dominant then right side, causing those muscles to be over used and over worked causing pain and discomfort. The weight gain i am seieng due to staying stuck in the past, not moving myself here in the physical through staying stuck in my mistakes i allowed and in this the expressions of self that i didn't live into. This resistance i am seeing of facing my past and what i have allowed in relationships for instance with others and myself, i am over compensating within my day to day activities, pushing beyond my flexibility and capacity where i want to do something, but i have not allowed my body and self discipline to catch up with the potential i am seeing. Not stretching for instance, spending the extra time to warm up before i go into the critical exercise and heavy tax on my body/self, but just move through the pain and discomfort, even though it is causing potential damage. This a lack of self awareness and self discipline, and essentially being lazy, giving up on my best.  

 Within my relationships, this is staying in a relationship or moving out of a relationship due to the thoughts of something is wrong or all is good, not working step by step with the physical and the reality feedback, but wanting it to be the way that suits me best for my interest. Lacking self honesty when in fact i require it to ensure that i am not fucking myself or another, and not allowing or accepting any abuse within my reality/self space. If i am allowing this in my world, then i am allowing it in others worlds as well, maybe not deliberately directly, but subtle it is playing out until eventually it comes to a head and all hell breaks lose and energy outbursts is created.  

Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist the patience and stability as self discipline it'll take to walk the step by step process in the physical to walk the alignment of ensuring the steps are taken i can see that will support myself to be the best i can be and ensure the consideration of all involved is well aligned and understood so all benefit as best possible not matter the effort it'll take as long as what is best and common sense is considered.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a desire to take it easy and work with my desires, where i can give into my wants and perceived needs within the idea that i am good, i can do it another time.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that time is something that i have to use with as i please, when i see, realize, and understand that everything has a consequence and everything is existing within space time and in my desires/ wants/ needs i am truly only considering myself and my small circle as my local environment not considering all life within the principles that i live within as it is in self interest only and not what is best for all. 

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be desiring to get my own way and in this not listen to common sense, but only listen to my mind as self interest reasoning that i can do what i want or i can get what i want and in that push beyond the consideration of all, and push to get my needs met above others.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others within my reality about what has transpired in my world, where i seek out the point of desiring the punishment to go onto them as i believe i was done onto and in this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i was justified to harm others within my force of self onto others where i got my own way and punished others and in this believed that i won, when i see, realize, and understand no one wins. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful within and as my reality, where i go into blame and anger toward the injustices of others as i believe, instead of taking self responsibility for what i have created and finding the will to live something new that is aligned to others/all and live this change until it is done.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and apathetic within and as the movement of self to do what is necessary to be done to ensure a world that is best for all as i start with myself within self discipline and self honesty to forgive myself for my past, and walk a change process that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not have compassion within and as others and myself as a point of walking the change process as it takes time and ensuring that application of breathe awareness and constant alignment with what is best as what is best for self is live within my day to day living, letting go of the want desire of self interest and considering in common sense what i can do that is best for all involved. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful and angry when i do not get my way as i see my life then will be more difficult.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being and living life more difficult instead of walking my consequence no matter what it is and aligning myself to the solutions that is best for all life. 

I forgive msyelf to be in flexible within and as change when change is necessary to direct and correct myself to what is best and what will ensure i am able to do what is best in my living as this in fact is the only way of life that matters and is truly what i would want for myself and in all shoes if i had to live in them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist my past instead of accepting my past as myself, forgive it as myself, and change myself to align here with what is best for all as living words and living solutions to the best of my ability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the signs of imbalance within my body, prioritizing performance or outcomes over presence and care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate pain with progress, instead of seeing that pain is my body’s voice asking for care, realignment, and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush my process out of fear of not being enough, instead of trusting the timing of my realignment as breath by breath, here.

When and as I see myself wanting to push through pain or discomfort without listening to my body, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that my body is not a machine to conquer, but a living being I am here to walk with in partnership.

When and as I resist slowing down or preparing properly (emotionally or physically), I realize I am sabotaging my own potential. I choose preparation and structure over rush and self-interest.

When and as I go into guilt or regret about my past mistakes in relationships, I stop. I breathe. I remind myself that I am not defined by the past, but by who I choose to be in this breath forward.

I commit myself to let go of the desire in self interest to get what i want, and align myself in thought word and deed to what is best for all with my money, my awareness, my time, my energy as i see this is truly the world i would like to create and raise children in.

I commit myself to never give up on myself as all life within the acceptance of what is here and taking full self responsibility to walk my talk in common sense to do what i am able in the space i have to align life to what is best for all through equality and oneness and what is best for all.

I commit myself to stand in self discipline and consistency as i change myself to self interest only to what is best for all as would be best for me proven in my living, and tracking it in my day to day operations.

I commit myself to listen to my physical body more, i commit myself to live the word gentleness where i care for myself and my physical that has been pushed beyond limits at time and requires compassion as self here. 

I commit myself to remain stead fast in my principles of life as self forgiveness, accepting myself for who i am and changing myself step by step as i let go of the past through self forgiveness and changing through living words that will ensure i am living the best version of myself within a consistent application and growth. Also i commit myself to get up from each fall, and stand as life until all life is free as i have freed myself here as breathe. 

More support at -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
wiki.desteni.org
equalmoney.org
Self Perfected - Destonian network support on fb
www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool!

Day 27 - Holding onto the Past - Sf and Release - The Gut = Trust in Self

I have always been in shape as a child, young adult, and now into my 40s I am starting to gain weight around my hips, gut and thighs. This has to do with physical body changes as I age based on hormones and body change, though it also holds understanding to self and who I am in relation to my mind and walking my process of realignment to life in oneness and equality in what is best for all life. I have been researching and looking within myself on what this points represents in terms of the mind map, as the mind is structured within the physical body as a system as the organs, layered within and through it. So as I continue to think and act in reaction as energy addiction, I am layering more and more of the mind network as self harm and abuse of life, until I stop this will not stop. 

I can use the weight point as an indication of physical real support as the correction process i am underway with is walked and lived. I should reduce my weight and as I redefine and correct myself through words, I will also correct as I am seeing it and make sense the weight will lesson as I no longer allow the layering of the mind as information and knowledge through thinking and energy.

 

(chat gpt picture source)

I will start with my gut, and the gut is where we say 'you can trust your gut', so within this weight being layered physically, it shows I am protecting and thus accumulating fat in the gut. Fat is stored because it is not being moved/used. So i for instance am not using/moving myself within self trust, I am not trusting myself, and what is holding me back is the memories of the past. There has been significant memories I can see and relate to that I am in fact holding  onto, not releasing them as a point of self support, defining myself still by them, and thus stiffing and suppressing myself as the trust of who i am as life and my alignment in what is best for all life as I speak and live my self forgiveness and correction as living words. 

 I can see the memories and how I have been defining myself within them in fear, creating more and more networks of information as i keep remembering them and interpreting more and more about it, as this is what the mind does, builds with memories as information and knowledge gathered through our interactions and thus our interpretations through thoughts, feelings and emotions. These are the mechanisms of the mind consciousness system, it builds and accumulates information stored in our body and our body is taking the brunt of the pain/abuse/ and harm, as we blissfully at times follow the mind as a separate bubble while the mind feeds off of us as our life force/physical body and tears strands of the physical body. 

Breathing through these memories, walking the self forgiveness, living the words as correction and self here as breath, will inturn release the memories/information and energy being generated by the mind through the use of the body, and thus the information will diminish as the gut in this instance will go down in weight ( if this is the point, will be tested in real time) and in this the systems as the mind in the gut will release and eventually end as the mind no longer is able to gather energy/physical life force of self as self has stopped the supply, by stopping the thoughts. 

So here I will walk my self forgiveness on these memories, this by breathing and seeing within what is here to work with, trusting self and working with the mind/physical/life/self to in fact and self honesty walk the self correction process as i sound it and will live words and breathe, release, and create myself here in self trust - as the correction process of real time living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of the past where i gave into desire/want/self interest as getting out of resistance within a relationship, where i saw that i was not working with the physical as the practical point of releasing the agreement, but let it go based on external factors as well as fear of facing myself and believing i will be harmed or abused through someone that doesn't show me the love i desire as affection and making me feel like a 'queen'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within the point of letting go of the relationship/agreement i was going based on my desire to be loved, shown love as niceties and warm words, and thus i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to end the relationship/agreement due to the point of fearing not getting this and that i would get it some where else.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not in fact show and live the point of self love, where i stand within myself and show myself love, care, and affection as self respect and self nurturing, and in this not actually need or require this, but be able to stand as it as an example and then receive it naturally as the expression of others/self opens to it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to need my man to trust and care for me, when i am showing within and as that need and desire that i am not in fact giving love and care as self trust to myself. 

 

 "You will only trust yourself when you live your correction in every moment,  regardless of how difficult it seems or how many times you fall. Trust is earned through living." — Bernard Poolman

 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge my partner as a bad person/bad lover when i see, realize, and understand i was actually showing to myself who i was in the agreement/relationship as i was in fact seeking this, and not actually giving as i would like to receive as i was in much self judgment and self hatred/anger.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to  allow external forces such as songs interpretations/lyrics/melodies have a point of decision making within who and how i am as a point of following and wanting to be led, supported, when i see, realize, and understand that these songs are preprogrammed and if done within a following I am following the preprogramming of myself and mind which in fact supported with the separation of beings/life here. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to follow thoughts and beliefs of 'he is too mean' , 'he is going to hurt me', 'he is so greedy', 'i can't stand him', 'i can't do this anymore', ' i will be better off alone', 'i am not going to be able to do this for my life'. And so i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my partner/relationship/agreement rather then forgiving the thoughts as they are not real/not reality based, but preprogrammed to separate and suck self dry as self allows and accepts the separation of the mind by accepting and allowing the play out of preprogrammed events as thoughts and acting out the thoughts as reactions in anger/disgust/hate and ending the agreement/commitment for life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel very sad and angry at myself for letting go of the commitment i made with this being for life, and ruined the point without walking the life tools and working with the living words process as principled living as what is best for all, and allowed myself to fall and fail.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to allow and accept an external source like tarot/physics/channels dictate who i am based on belief in numbers/signs, when i see, realize, and understand the are preprogrammed and not relevant to self direction in self honesty in what is best for all, a practical living as self live here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as ugly/stupid/not a good partner, and so always inferiority myself and so i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself  believe the mind as it says the things as ugly/loser/stupid with memories of my past in school where i was bullied and not accepted through name calling and competition.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memories of being bullied at school and when my father would call me names and thus go against any type of male relationship as i see that i would potentially be abused cause i didn't have much defense as i was weak.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by others within harm and pain that they push onto me from themselves as i see, realize, and understand we are all walking this process to life, and all require to walk self forgiveness and living change, that it is not personal ever, and only if i allow it to effect direct me.

I forgive myself to judge those who hurt me in the past and judge men with a certain signature of believing they are cool while using force in words, i see, realize, and understand this is not who i am and does not define me as i realize, see, and understand i define me as who i am and this is life one and equal in what is best for all life as i live and align with life here.  

I forgive msyelf that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the past as my past relationship, i release it as a point of learning and understanding as who i am within where i am not yet aligned with life, and that i am here able to walk the correction and work with current points and relationship/agreements as well as redefine and walk with the past relationship to align it back to what is best for all as what make sense for each moving forward. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the idea that i can ont move past this, i am to be punished forever for falling in this agreement as i see where it did lead as consequences that could have been avoided and thus harm prevented, though it is here and it was what was walked, so i let it go and move here fresh and new as i forgive myself, release and let go of the past, and recreate myself in self care and self love as i see i am committed to walk the correction and self honesty of the realignment with myself as life and trusting myself here as i correct and live in my day to day, breathe by breathe moments as living words.

 

I commit myself to stop and breathe when and as i see i am going into fear of being harmed by men/mean people, i realize it is not personal and i bring them into me and stand equal in seeing their potential and hold it as i hold it for myself and direct myself in common sense as i live practical living that will support for self realization and self support. 

I commit myself to when and as i see i am going into beliefs of wanting to think something about the past, i release the memory as i forgive any reactions, and breathe, bring myself to physical breath, and express myself in self trust as i look here and direct myself in what is best for all as a self direction, living the word self direction, self trust, and self movement. 

I commit myself to when and as i desire an external source, i stop and breath, and realize that this done in a self following as need, i am being trapped by the mind as separation, and thus i let go of the desires/need and direct myself to live the solution for myself physically no matter how long it takes. 

I commit myself to live the word discipline as i let go of the mind as thoughts/memories of my past agreement/relationship, realizing and seeing that it is a learning experience and that to live the correction in my next agreement where i stand the test of time and work through the reactions/memories/fears/reactions with self forgiveness, openness, self honesty, and communication to find and live solutions that is best for all.

I commit myself to release built up stress as these memories through breathing and living the word self acceptance, self care, and letting go. 

I commit myself to release myself from these past and do my best with aligning myself in my words as my living that supports myself as how i would like to be supported and supported others equal as so in breathe and self discipline.  

 I commit myself to show myself self love as self acceptance as i continue to apply myself in self dedication to stop all harm and anger/hate and give to myself equally as i'd like others to give to me.

 I commit myself to stop all thoughts as self harm and harm to others that are judgmental in nature and live the words stop and equality and oneness as life and self responsibility as i live within what is best for all in the moments and direct myself in common sense that is best for all.

More support at - 

lwww.lite.desteniiprocess.com 

wiki.desteni.org 

equal money system- a system to bring heaven here through oneness and equality - link here - https://web.archive.org/web/201102110...
Self Perfected - Destonian network support on fb

www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool!