Day 214 – Exploring Self Acceptance – Why am I Inherently Flawed?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that based on me playing sports and being good at sports that I was cooler and more important then those kids who did not play sports and were not as good as me in this. I realize and understand within this point that this desire to be better then other kids was based on an inherent belief of myself that I am flawed and that I need things within the external world to tell me that I am a good person.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this pattern of thought of seeing myself better then others due to what I am apparently better at within my mind over them, I stop and breath, and do not accept and allow myself to act within this thought pattern of weak/strong polarity play outs.

I commit myself to breath through these thought patterns until the energy dissipate and I am stable not reacting to others within a superiority/inferiority, but pushing my living into equality with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the desire within me to be better then others and thus when I find I am better in skill then another, I rub it in everyone’s face by showing off and wanting others to notice this skill, be it passively or aggressively, I within myself make the effort to make others see me as better and more equipped then others. I realize and see that within this act of making others see me as better it shows within me that I am more unstable then I can be as the desire to prove I am better is an attempt in self interest as this belief that this will make me more advantageous to get what I want such as attention and rewards from this point of popularity and thus needing others to confirm who I am which is separating me from my own self empowerment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self interest within myself and actually desire for the other to be weak and lose within what it is that we are doing together for me to shine and be able to get the most attention from others and that chance of getting the rewards of acceptance as popularity and respect within the group of people I am trying to impress. I realize and understand that this self interested way of living within the desire to make others weak and me strong is actually a trap of enslavement I am doing to myself for a moment of feeling good and popular, when I will in time be the one back at the bottom as the weak looking for ways to get back on top, never stable but always in flux and search for myself, which will cause abuse because of the principle of if one win another must lose, and so in this cause abuse as it is manifested because I am not giving in equality, but taking more then my fair share. And so I realize that within this I will be the weak and not get a fair share as I have not given to another due to greed and self-interest. I realize that I live in equality with all all can be given to each a fair share to create a harmonious environment.

I commit myself to when and as I go into the point of desiring another to be weak were I can show off and become the strong one to others to gain attention and reap the momentary rewards of being popular, I breath and stop these actions of self compromise and abuse to life, I will walk the correction by not allowing thesethoughts of desires to continue, stopping the thoughts of desiring attention and being the strong one, and push to walk the equality and balance of all moments so all are treated equal to myself and life will thus be inharmony or on the path to harmony within and as me and eventually within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself this belief within me of an inherent flaw and within this belief from as long back as I can remember, I saw myself as not good enough and thus did not accept myself. I realize and see now that it was not that I was inherently flawed or that something was wrong with me, as I see and realize I am fully functioning and capable within my physical, but that this lack was based on the thought construct pattern I was existing in due to the desire for more, in this case more attention from others, and so I lived out the pattern of polarity of weak/strong, where in I was the one that was strong for a moment, and then went into the point of weak, not taking responsibility for my actions and beliefs within these moments, but in blame of others because I didn’t want to face the fact that I was weak within myself.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of believing myself as inherently flawed, I stop and breath, and thus go into the point of identifying what it is that I am seeing myself weak in, and thus push myself to stop the polarity of the weak/strong construct that is playing out within my living and correct it by walking the physical point of correction in perfecting the skill and sharing it with others equally, helping others get to the perfection to thus make self here within all living in perfection which is the highest point of order in a harmonious environment of life.

Thus I commit myself to stop and breath walking this point of equality in my physical living, focusing on my own self living and perfecting in what it is that I am doing, seeing others as self, and thus I commit myself to stop blaming others for the way I am behaving within myself and take responsibility, correct my living into equality in each moment, and accept myself as life here as all and as the life force within myself to thus be this for real in life here in the physical body and world.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
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Desteni Wiki

Art work by fellow Destonian: Gian Robberts

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Day 213 – Exploring Self Acceptance – Life and Death – Self Correction to Live for Real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within this impending doom of fear and angst in relation to seeing death or having thoughts of death where I will go into them and accumulate a whole pictured scenario with emotions that cause me to go into a petrification and non action within what it is that I am doing and living. I realize and see within this fear that it is irrational and cause me to be suppressed and in a constant state of negative energy charge as depression or sorrow based on believing that death is the end and is will be painful.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this fear and emotion of sorrow and depression when I see a picture or a moment in time related to death, I breath and stop myself from going into the emotions, by saying ‘no garb, I realize that this is not productive and serve no purpose, I will not participate in these emotions.

I commit myself to when and as these thoughts that come up about how horrible death will be and how painful, I stop and breath, and speak the words, ‘no, I don’t require to think about this, it is not necessary, I am here alive’ and thus walk myself into the physical in becoming aware of my physical and not energizing the thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death where it immobilizes me and I can not move within my day in a practical and functioning manner, but go into a emotional coaster where I am unstable within myself and getting lost within thoughts and scenarios in my head of all the different points of death and when it will come for me and the people I know rather then living. I realize and see that living within this fear and instability within this thinking about and become lost within my head to where I am immobile, I am wasting my time to make a difference in this world and bring a solution to all the ills that cause most of the unnecessary suffering and death to my fellow life beings, and thus I realize the fear must stop and the thoughts and participation in the mind about death must end.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of self defeatism and immobilization based on thought patterns of fear of death of myself and others, I stop and breath, and let go of this fear, do not participate in it, and move my physical awareness from the mind to the physical in what I am doing.

I commit to push my self-discipline and not accept myself to waste time in my mind about the what ifs of death, and live here in life and find solutions to what is not working on this planet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself within this idea of death and that death is a part of life for now in this time to be walked, I realize that I am the creator of death and thus I can walk the solution within myself and thus eventually within this world to transcend death or live death in absolute physical practicality as the rebirthing process of life to create what is new and thus live out our unlimited potential as expansion. I realize that within this fear and non acceptance of myself here as and within all, I am limiting my potential for growth and expansion, and thus limit myself within the best I can be without fear.

I commit myself to accept and allow this living of death as a part of life and stop the fear towards it, by accepting myself within and as the realization that death is here.

I commit myself to see the life within all and myself, and thus see the potential that death creates for life as rebirth and growth. I stop my mind in fears and suppressions, and accept myself here as all life as well as death, and walk what is here and face what is here with whatever may come, I breath and push myself to always considered all life and what will be best for all.

I commit myself to when these pictures and streams of ideas that are not practical and realistic about death emerge in my mind, I stop and breath and focus on what I am doing, stopping my participation in the mind and perfecting what it is I am doing in life, in my living.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
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Creation's Journey to Life
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Desteni Wiki

Day 212- Exploring Self Acceptance – Life and Death

I find myself often within my day thinking, this thinking is something I have often judged based on theknowledge I have now accumulated about what the mind and thinking do to the physical body, but I have realized that it’s not to blame or see the thinking as something bad, it’s just a point that needs to be aligned into correction so it no more cause abuse. Thinking causes abuse to the physical body directly because the way the thinking occurs is through the conflict within energy and the physical substance, the physical substance being used within the conflict relationship between the energy and the substance of the physical, that goes to the mind to generate the thought, it was designed this way by those that (see reptilian series on eqafe for more info regarding this) created the mind system. So the thinking within our minds in these alternate realities we so often go into during our days and weeks, have a consequence, a consequence of death eventually, as all the mind thinking takes away from our physical bodies directly little by little, our physical substance, and eventually cause our death as it’s been used up and not replaced, as you can see in evidence with death coming to us all.

Death is something that I have been thinking about today because I have been watching the series six feet under and as you can see within the title, the main focus of this is death. But really what is death and why am I affected like I am when I think about it? I have found I am afraid of death because I am afraid of thethoughts of something happening to my family, the death of my family members or people close to me. I am afraid of my dad or mom dying, and having to go through that pain and anguish when someone that I have known my whole life and been close to will die and suffer. But this is a point that within looking at it practically is the result of our living and not following the physical principles of life, I will face this same point, it is now part of physical life because we have created it this way, we essentially have done this to ourselves creating the death of life within and as ourselves as we have created the mind within and as ourselves (More on what the mind is, check the link).

Life is within the physical, as when we live we live here on earth, in the physical reality on the physical substance around, among, and within us allowing us to be here. The physical has laws that govern it, these laws are supportive and create life to continue and live on, it adapts and changes to create what will be best for all as we see within nature how it adapts and creates itself to live among all physical elements and conditions to eventual equilibrium and harmony. So life require a certain set of cooperation and understanding within following these laws of the physical as these are guides to live in the physical and continue to function as such as been proving in the physical in keeping life going and adapting to be best for all. Those who see aren’t going to make it in life in the physical, go into the death process to be rebirthed into another form of life where they will be again part of the change, there is no fear of this death, but a point of acceptance of self as change and the fruits are within the change that is accepted, which is new life, new creation, and growth and expansion.

So I have realized within myself that this point of change within myself in this acceptance of who I am as I am in this moment, will give way to the fruits of myself as the result of this acceptance of who I am and thus will allow me to rebirth within this acceptance to become new, and the new is life as life is creation, and thus self acceptance is accepting me as the creator of myself, the creator of my life. Within the common place of human society of non acceptance and competition, there is no room for change, there is no acceptance of self as the focus is more in the mind as desires and wants, which isn’t physical so isn’t real, which cause stagnation and a stunt within the growth of life because it is no more following the physical laws, but in a domain of the illusion were anything goes as is evidence within even a few moments in awareness of our daily thinking processes.

This not being right or wrong, but simply not productive within creating myself as and within life, who I am as life, I mean I realize the joys of this within myself, when I accept who I am in a point I see and understand of myself, and so understand myself from this point of acceptance, and thus create myself in new ways and means based on the acceptance of myself within this point. Acceptance of self leads to creativity and growth because there is no holding back, there is no mind, there is understanding and a sense of joy as in acceptance there is the joy of me, of who I am, and also the realizing of the change that will come with this acceptance and growth. This create new dimensions, new expansions of myself into new areas of life that I have not known before, but as I know of life it is everywhere, so there is much to explore. Much to explore of myself because I am life as life is one, life and me are one and all are life, so that means we are all one, thus self acceptance is accepting this fact and living this within and without of ourselves, so much possibility and much growth to still be discovered as the life we are and accept ourselves to be and become.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 211 - Exploring Self Acceptance - Being Cool - Part 1.2 - I’m Better then You

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of my childhood in this idea of myself as a cool and tough kid based on holding onto to this desire of myself to be cool and have others see me cool and in these memories holding on to them and replaying because within them I am seen as cool within the group of friends I am with. I realize and see that holding onto these memories of me as a child playing sports and being good at it making me seem cool in my mind is something that is holding me into this idea that I have to be a certain way within this world to be accepted by others, someone who is cool to make myself feel good about myself.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this memory of thinking about me playing sports and that I was a cool kid among my friends because I could play sports well, I stop and breath, and do not accept myself to continue in this pattern of thoughts of seeing myself playing and doing well and getting a nice feeling because of this perception that this makes me cool by moving myself within the physical and breathing through the thoughts and feelings when they arise not participating in them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a feeling of elation when I think about these memories among my friends in the neighborhood where I was seen as cool and had respect from the others based on my skill, and thus got a high as I saw myself in my mind in these pictures as the coolest by being praised by the other kids and being a winner among them, feeling good about myself because I saw myself as more skilled and able to win. I realize and see that within this point of feeling good and elated based on these memories I am holding of being among my friends in the neighborhood and being seen as good and a winner, I thus defined myself by this feeling of feeling good when my friends praised me and seeing myself as better then others based on this feeling I get within myself that I am a winner and thus I am better then those who lose.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of feelings of goodness about myself based on looking at myself as more then another because being a winner in these memories I am holding of myself, I stop and breath, and do not accept myself to continue in this feeling as it’s not real and it’s causing self compromise and separation. I commit to breath through the desire to see myself as more then others by not participating in the thoughts and becoming focused on my breathing , my movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on the skills i have within seeing myself as more or better then others and then generating a feeling of goodness within me because I am better then another at something. I realize and see that this is complete self interest based on the belief that I am not good enough or not as capable then others in things, and thus when i have to compensate when I am more skilled and so this in my mind will make me feel better. I realize and see that existing in this comparison of seeing myself less worthy and then going into comparison and separation in seeing myself as more then others when I appear to be more skilled is complete self interest and inferiority as am not seeing myself as equals to others and not considering all the points within the life that is being lived by the others, but only where I can shine as being seen as better then them.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of defining myself as more then another and getting a good feeling from this, I stop and breath, and do not accept myself to go through within the thoughts patterns of this competition as I realize this is separation and I am only doing it based on self interest and inferiority. I commit myself to walk and breath and accept myself as equals to others in the value of life and so push my living into the physical, focusing on what can be done to help all life be equal within our living and support solutions that will support all in this world to be the best we can be in whatever it is we enjoy and are passionate in doing.

More to Follow, thanks for reading.

Day 210 - Exploring Self Acceptance - Being Cool - Childhood Memories - Part 1.1

Here looking at this point of how I developed my external perception of who I wanted to be and what influences within my childhood helped mold and foster this way of seeing myself that in it's conception and accumulation was not real nor physical, but completely within thoughts, beliefs, and ideas. I will bring it back to childhood memories that I am holding onto where I was young and around others my age, my friends and neighborhood kids I played with often, I thought of myself as cool, and so within this idea of myself as being cool, I expected others to think this way of me as well.

At that time, I was very much a tomboy and into sports playing everyday, we were a group of neighborhood kids and we played outside from dusk til dawn almost everyday in the summers and as much as possible in the school year, all different types of activities, but our main love was athletics, soccer, football, street hockey, baseball, basketball, we really did it all, and within this point of athletics, I excelled. Most of the kids I played with were boys, and so I defined myself according to this male perspective, seeing females as less then the males based on myself having really no interest within what they were into, and thus saw what they did was weak and not fun. So with the males in my group that were my 'competitors' throughout my childhood, I developed this idea that I am a special kind of girl as I am strong and able to compete with these boys, which gave me confidence within myself and respect among the others in the group I was in as a kid. Using the strnegth I developed and saw I possessed within being able to compete with the all the boys I was friends with as a gauge for who I am, a strong female, and thus superior to the other female whom I saw as weak because they were not able to compete with me at that stage in my small group among my neighborhood friends. So this is interesting as it developed my understanding among the dynamic within society of males being 'stronger' and more 'powerful' then the females as I easily saw it within what I was participating in, and fully lived into this seeing myself more superior and dominant to females especially because I was more like the boys, I was strong, I was a strong competitor.

Within this time, I did not have a real judgment towards myself within my physical look, because within myself I was thinking that I am very cool as I was respected and seen within all my friends as a girl who you couldn't mess with because I could compete with all the top boys in the area, and I often could beat them. I saw this point of winning as a defining point of who I was, I was able to win and thus was strong, and thus within my mind those who played sports were better and cooler people then those who didn't because sports was the best thing one could do and be good at because this is what I was the best at and the most good at, so it was a point of self interest to survive among my peers and have the best chance to be popular, get attention, and gain power among them. I had to find something I could compete with them to show I am worthy, I am strong, and this I got within my excelling in athletics for the moment.

This position I held within my group of friends and neighbors, created a point of ego within me, a point were I saw myself better then others and superior because I had gained this respect and thus had all the attention on me based on the skills I possessed that was not usual for girls, especially with the girls in my neighborhood. Allot of the other girls around my neighborhood were just not into sports like I was, but this I didn't consider because of the fact that I thought that sports was the 'top' point in this world to be good at and within being good, you were cool. Being girly and doing girly things like play with dolls and dress up was boring and seen by myself as weak, like there was no point of proving yourself within it and showing who you are, and so these activities with no competition, I saw as useless.

This point of being cool is something I desired, I saw that being cool is something that makes you get these points I desired within my group of friends, power, respect, leadership, and attention, and I saw how this played out within my older sisters, how they developed themselves and molded themselves within their social circles to be 'cool', what clothes they wore, what music they listened to, what kind of people they hung out with, what they did, what words they used, and so I used my sisters, most were older, as a point of reference for myself to know what is cool and what is not cool within the life I was living. So I was in a sense like a sponge soaking up my surroundings around me, specifying and defining myself on my definition of what cool was based on what I was seeing and interpreting in my everyday life.

And thus being a dork or someone who was not skilled or popular was the complete opposite of anything I wanted to be associated with, it's like being a complete 'loser' within everything I had ever known and grown up with, so it's like a loss in life, and not being able to get my 'wants' met within the desire I had within me to live out and fulfill which were many. And so seeing myself as a complete inferior being to those that were the 'cool' ones was absolutely unacceptable and out of the question, as I know compared myself to my sisters and had to hold my position not only within my social group as friends, but in my family unit as being part of a 'cool' 'well known' family in my town. I had the reputation to live up to now in my mind within my family, as I saw us as cool, so I had created myself into a person that had to become this, in my mind this is who I am, where I come from, everyone around me is 'cool' and so I must and have to be this as well. I lived for this and I expected it at a very young age to be seen as someone who is cool and liked. Obviously life is not what one expects, and so I will write more on this too come of the next stage in entering the years leading up to and going into being a teenager.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki