Tonight I saw an interesting energy come up within me when my partner asked me if something I was about to do was best for all, I within myself went into an immediate reaction of defense and protection, and I lived it out by saying to him, why are you saying that to me, explain yourself? (with a fighting face on) This was done because within myself I reacted to the fact that I was not living what is best for all, I actually very rarely ask myself this question, I would like to think that I ask and so consider my actions within the alignment of what is best for all in an accumulation of the amount of years I have been in process as this is what process is about, but I have certainly not physically lived the amount of thoughts that I have thought about in relation to asking and never mind living what is best for all in physical reality. I have been living in my own desires and wants, I have been existing within self interest in many different areas of my life where I can see I can make changes, but I realize that though I have the intention to change, if I don’t actually change in physical reality, I will never actually change for real. So continuing in self interest is not the solution to do what I would like and so think about doing as it only caters to my wants/needs/desires, and so missing the rest of the world that is out there and creating me to be a person I don’t not see myself continuing to be.
So I want to explore and do self forgiveness and self correction statements on this specific reaction of being ‘caught’ red handed so to speak by another and how to see how to change the reaction from a resistance to an embracing of the words, and where can I learn and change myself to be more effective in my physical living to indeed live my life in the best way possible that will create a better world for all and so myself. I see and realize that there are many parts of myself and personalities playing out that I can’t in fact always see and understand, so when the opportunity comes up for support from another, I would like to rather embrace it, understand myself within it and learn from it, and find the solution that will support me to change to the person I would like to then live.
So, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of defense towards another when I hear something within there words that is not in a positive or openly expressed supportive way towards me and so take it as a personal attack.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to determine who I am within the reactions I have in my mind/physical feelings as energy to the words said or actions done by another, where I realize, see, and understand that these reactions are NOT directed by myself in a self supportive way, but are created through automation and cause me to go into a point of ego where I will put up my guard and protect and defend, and so not hear/listen/am able to discuss the support that was be given by the other within the communication spoken in a moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become afraid within myself when another points something out about me that is not going to make me look positive or in a way where I will be thought of in a high regard, and so I realize, see, and understand that this desire for positivity from others is creating and so holding this fear in place as within me I see and understand that I have many areas that require to be changed and lived in a new way that will support life/myself, I see often where I abuse and am in self interest so this support is definitely relevant.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto desires to be seen positively by others/my partner because within myself I see my flaws and imperfections and judge these as bad and unacceptable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fear of imperfections within me based on my judgment I hold that imperfections is a way of showing that one is less than others and less than the potential that one could be, I fear not being perfect.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see imperfections as a judgment and create a relationship towards it that I can not be this and so create a fear of not ever being this.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship towards imperfection as if it is something to be resisted and not accepted within myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see imperfections as a flaw and so create a self diminishment and self abuse where I have sabotaged myself on a daily basis because I fear being imperfect and seen in this way.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that imperfections are part of being within and as this process to create ourselves to be self perfected, the imperfections are actually gifts in the physical to show me how and where it is that I require to change, to specify my application, to find solutions to the reactions and resistances that I am creating and facing, and so walk a point of creating an acceptance to the imperfections that are here so they can be embraced, understood, and so changed within myself and my living in a way that will empower and support my self growth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge points within the physical that in it’s manifestation has imperfections within it not realizing or understanding in these moments of judgments that there is an existential history behind each being in this existence, and that all are equal within life, so imperfection is a point of understanding this equality and so oneness that indeed exist and is herer and supporting the correction process when and as it becomes relevant for all that are here to indeed be able to live in a way that is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not hear or listen to others when they speak, but instantly follow my reactions and go into a defense towards them, and so miss the opportunity for support and so the opportunity for self growth and self understanding.
When and as I go into a point of compromising myself through following reactions when something is said to me that doesn’t create a positive feeling, I stop and breath, and realize by following the energy of reaction I will create a consequence of abuse and self compromise. I realize by breathing through the reaction and actually listening to the words being spoken and then bringing it back to myself, I see and understand this is the place where self change is born and the opportunity lives to build more of a real and intimate relationship with others as I embrace their words/them rather than reject and go into a corner by myself as an ego that will have no real power in the end anyway, so I realize it is not worth it.
I commit myself to when I am faced with this reaction of desiring to attack another, I stop and say ‘no I will not accept this reaction’, let it go, and then look within myself and find the support/solution that the other is showing me.
I commit to find out how I can learn to be better and become more embracing of others where I stop the rejection and become more a part of others lives.
I commit to push myself to discuss with others what they are seeing about me and unconditionally listen and hear what they are saying before I reply.
I commit myself to clear all reactions within me through self forgiveness with the other or with myself before I go into a discussion with another when I initially get offended or react in a protection mode.
I commit to realize that I am just reacting as a program as mind and energy and so I commit to let go of the program and allow myself to be vulnerable.
Cool Support to Help With Stopping Reaction:From Energy to Sound - Atlanteans' Support - Part 63
Life Review - The 'Taking this Personally' Victim
Why Don't You Really Change? - Reptilians - Part 290
Why Don't You Really Change? - Reptilians - Part 290
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support